Late Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was terribly late…

or

A woman was terribly late…

Here’s mine:

Late Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was terribly late
To a job meeting key to his fate.
The job seemed a lock
Till he mis-set his clock,
But at least he remembered the date.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Tags: , , , ,

36 Responses to “Late Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    When he took his new girl on a date.
    He arrived at eleven
    When he promised ‘Seven’!
    I don’t need to tell you his fate!

  2. Hansi says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    Cause he slept till half past eight
    While running for the door
    He fell on the floor
    Tripping over his child’s errant roller-skate.

  3. Linda Motley says:

    A woman was terribly late
    To join pickets against Walker’s hate
    Of everyone poor
    Sick, elderly and more.
    It’s time to wipe clean the slate.

  4. jesse levy says:

    A woman was terribly late
    which was hell on her obstinate mate
    See, he didn’t want a kid
    So he flipped his lid
    While waiting for her to menstruate.

  5. scott says:

    A fellow was terribly late,
    he was rooting for Ohio State,
    Duke and Syracuse,
    he chose Pittsburgh to lose.
    Yes, so far my bracket looks great.

  6. versebender says:

    WHEN LATE MEANS NEVER

    A fellow was terribly late
    Which didn’t sit well with his date
    “My promise of heaven
    Was valid at seven
    But promptly expired at eight”

  7. madkane says:

    I’m enjoying your limericks. Please keep them coming!

  8. Swisstoons says:

    A woman was terribly late,
    And began to ponder her fate.
    “If I’m pregnant again,
    I’m swearing off men!
    From now on I’ll just masturbate!”

  9. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    Changing Libyans’ national fate
    ‘Til he’d called evr’y chit in
    From Germany, Britain,
    Arabia, France and Kuwait.

  10. A man, always terribly late,
    had a problem in finding a mate.
    His habit incurable
    made life unendurable
    as he was past his sell-by date.

  11. earlybird says:

    A woman was terribly late
    when starting to look for a mate;
    without leaving the house,
    a few clicks of the mouse,
    she was soon on an internet date.

  12. madkane says:

    More delightful limericks. Thanks, and please keep them coming in!

  13. linda sands says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    pissing off the girl he made wait
    she got her just due
    when he went to the loo
    by updating her status: Small dick. Not great.

    blog: Linda Sands

  14. Elaine Spall says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    So he shovelled the food on his plate
    His manners were dismal
    And with no Pepto Bismol
    All he does now is regurgitate

  15. deathsweep says:

    A fellow was terribly late,
    at his age he still longed for a date,
    frequently he did try,
    though more often he’d cry,
    “Man’s not a chap til getting a mate!”

  16. Edmund Weisberg says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    Having died in the midst of his date,
    Leaving diners aghast
    At the lurid repast,
    As his date polished off ev’ry plate.

  17. Catherine says:

    A woman was terribly late
    A deplorable character trait
    She took her sweet time
    ‘Cause it felt so sublime
    To watch as her mate turned irate

  18. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was terriby late
    At perceiving that he had gained weight
    But found out with fright
    When he booked a flight
    And the airline just shipped him as freight.

  19. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    understanding the current debate.
    When told that inflation
    Would ruin the nation
    He said, “Are we all overweight?”

  20. Granny Smith says:

    Could you possibly change the second line on the first of the above to “At perceiving that he had gained weight”? I didn’t proofread enough befor posting.

  21. madkane says:

    I fixed it Granny Smith.

    Fun limericks, everyone. Please keep them coming. You have the entire week. :)

  22. Edmund Weisberg says:

    And “each” to “ev’ry” in line 5 of mine above, please.

  23. adrian collier says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    avoiding his great twist of fate.
    His stomach, he knew
    did not have the flu.
    Twas a bad case of something he ate.

  24. madkane says:

    Edmund, I made your change.

  25. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    And starving while casting his bait
    So he was enraptured
    to find he had captured
    A mermaid – whom he promptly ate.

  26. Granny Smith says:

    Here is a Linked Limerick, using my last entry. Thank you, Madeleine, for showing me the way

    A fellow was terribly late
    And starving while casting his bait
    So he was enraptured
    to find he had captured
    A mermaid – whom he promptly ate.

    The fellow was terribly late
    At digesting the dinner he ate.
    His stomach arumble
    He heard his meal grumble,
    “He could have just asked for a date!”

  27. andy sewina says:

    Hi Mad, thanks for the prompt! Here’s mine:

    A fellow was terribly late
    his china plates all had to wait.
    He ordered a seat
    for his plates of meat,
    then said he had already ate.

  28. Swisstoons says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    For a rather IMPORTANT date!
    Though due to be wed,
    He’d tarried to bed
    A bridesmaid, her first cousin Kate!

  29. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these! Thanks everyone! Please keep them coming. You have until Sunday afternoon before I pick the next Limerick of the Week out of your submissions.

  30. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was terribly late
    For her first in this century date
    She later confessed
    She skipped getting dressed
    And just skyped in her natural state.

  31. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    And that blunder would alter his fate;
    What an awkward cab ride
    Down to get his tubes tied;
    His bride rode astride (couldn’t wait)

  32. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was terribly late
    For a Chem class that he’d come to hate
    In the Chem lab, resuming
    His tests, he was fuming.
    He still couldn’t concentrate.

  33. madkane says:

    Oh good! More fun limericks!

  34. gwbieb says:

    A woman was terribly late
    After laying the friend of her mate
    If pregnant with child
    Would drive her so wild
    She’d prefer that death be her fate

  35. madkane says:

    Thanks again to all of you for your delightful submissions. I’ve just posted a Limerick of the Week winner and three Honorable Mentions chosen from these delightful limericks. Congratulations to everyone!