Nonplussed by Google-Plus?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Google-Plus blessing or curse?
It’s surely inspired some verse.
But here’s what I fear:
With the Plus option here,
My A.D.D.’s getting much worse.
Archive for the ‘Mental Health Humor’ Category
Spurned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
Sunday, May 1st, 2011It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus four Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal had to cancel her plan…
or
A man had to cancel his plan…
Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)
Spurned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal had to cancel her plan
To marry a very cute man.
He spurned her advances,
Ignored all her glances —
‘Twas over before it began.
She was angry and wanted him dead —
Dreamt of murder while lying in bed.
Now at last he’s been killed
And those thoughts have been stilled,
For that fellow was all in her head.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Attention Must Be Paid
Wednesday, April 13th, 2011Here’s my limerick and haiku prompted by this attention prompt and this challenge to write about writing:
Attention Must Be Paid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I find paying attention’s a pain.
A-D-D makes it rather a drain.
I’m drifting right now.
Lost in thought? Yes, and how!
Which is why this short story’s inane.
*****
Must pay attention
to pretentious professor.
Can’t? Then pretend to.
*****
Mental Haiku Duet
Sunday, March 27th, 2011Secret Cache
Saturday, March 5th, 2011Secret Cache
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow had a secret cache
of coins and stamps and gold.
He planned to sell it off one day
when he became quite old.
That time did come for him at last—
age ninety-three or more.
Alas, he’d thrown his cache box out—
forgot what it was for.
(You can find more of my bad memory humor here. And check out the secret prompt over at Writer’s Island)
If Only Life Were That Simple (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011The task at hand over at Three Word Wednesday is to write a poem using these three words: Figure, Juicy, and Stress. I enjoyed the mental exercise and wrote this limerick:
If Only Life Were That Simple
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When I’m feeling a bit under stress
And I figure my life’s in a mess,
If I read something juicy
Or play some Debussy,
My problems are quick to egress.
Out on a Limb Haiku Quintet
Monday, February 21st, 2011Though I’m never safe,
his arms always comfort me,
and that must suffice.
*****
Ballroom dancing class—
learning creative ways to
defeat the rumba.
*****
Morning legs dangle
off the bed, as antique joints
brace for their touch down.
*****
Feeling elated—
great, yet dampened by knowing
what’s soon to follow.
*****
Poised atop mirage
of a career, gazing down
at life left behind.
*****
(I wrote the 1st haiku for We Write Poems’ safe prompt; the 4th haiku for Sensational Haiku Wednesday’s elation prompt; and the 5th haiku for One Single Impression’s top prompt and Haiku Heights’ mirage prompt.)
Bad Memory Limerick
Tuesday, February 15th, 2011My memory is so bad, that when I spotted the upcoming memory prompt at Haiku Heights I forgot the obvious — that the prompt was for haiku. Ah well, here’s my Bad Memory Limerick:
Bad Memory Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My mem’ry is bad — getting worse.
It’s a failing I constantly curse.
I forget what I’ve done,
People’s names, whom to shun.
Now what was the theme of this verse?
(For those who can actually remember something, here’s a spot to post your memories in verse.)
Blue Limerick
Wednesday, February 9th, 2011This week Big Tent Poetry prompts us to cheer ourselves up and cure whatever’s ailing us by writing poetry. I’m no cheerier than before, but at least I did write a relevant limerick … sort of:
Blue Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Our topic today feels perverse:
It’s curing our blues with some verse.
If I write something happy
It’s sure to be crappy.
And bad limericks make me feel worse.
Jittery Limerick 
Sunday, December 5th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A jittery fellow named Fred…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Jittery Limerick (Jittery Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A jittery fellow named Fred
Had problems with sleeping in bed.
He could sleep on a chair
Or a stool — anywhere
But in bed, where things came to a head.
He was haunted in bed by his fears,
Whether sober or after some beers.
He would worry and fret—
Could not snooze on a bet.
And that’s how he lived for ten years.
But then podcasts came into his life.
(He’d heard about them from his wife.)
The discussions and talk
Made sad thoughts take a walk.
Now he slumbers in bed without strife.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No!
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010I’m not exactly a sports aficionado. But I’m guessing it’s safe to presume that most games are expected to be noisy.
Apparently, though, South African soccer fans take such noise to a new ear-piercing level, enthusiastically blowing vuvuzelas in the stadiums. What’s a vuvuzela? Well, I know from oboes, but not from vuvuzelas. However, I’ve just learned they’re cacophonous, droning, deafening horns (blown like a brass instrument) that are driving TV World Cup viewers insane.
Vive Vuvuzelas? Please, No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Attempting to watch World Cup soccer?
Then you’re likely to go off your rocker:
Vuvuzelas abound
With their loud, droning sound.
They are deafening. Help! Need a blocker!
Save Me From Daylight Savings Time
Sunday, March 14th, 2010Are you as sick as I am of our twice-yearly clock-adjustment ritual? Do you think, as I do, that we have more than enough daylight and that there’s no need to save any?
I’m sorry, but my internal clock is sufficiently confused and doesn’t need Daylight Savings Time to make my chronic insomnia even worse. And I’m inclined to clock the next person who reminds me to change my damn clocks.
Save Me From Daylight Savings Time (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My natural clock is a mess.
Just thinking of sleep gives me stress.
Spring forward—fall back
Makes me more out of whack.
So I don’t change my clocks — I just guess.
(More DST humor here.)
Ode To Cappuccino
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009Ode To Cappuccino (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When my hot cappuccino’s denied me,
I am steamed. I must have it inside me.
So beware of my ire.
My need is quite dire.
Espresso/foamed milk, or else hide me!
UPDATE: I just found out that National Espresso Day is celebrated on November 23rd.
Empty Nest (Limerick)
Thursday, June 18th, 2009Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Pedestrian Plea
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009Pedestrian Plea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a fellow named Mike,
Who was bored while out riding his bike.
So he spoke on his cell,
Did some texting, then fell.
Multitaskers, oh please take a hike.
Update: I’ve just found out that November 17th Is “National Take A Hike Day.” Something tells me, it may be meant to celebrate something a bit different.
My Twitter Motto (Haiku)
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009Aim for brilliant
In just one-forty characters.
Settle for inane.
Caffeinated Verse
Monday, September 15th, 2008Just in time for National Coffee Day! (September 29)
Caffeinated Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’ve rarely been tempted by tea,
And coffee does nothing for me.
Cappuccino, however —
Can’t miss it. Not ever!
Addicted? Heck no! I’ll take three.
*****
Here’s the same sentiment in its concise haiku version. (I prefer it in limerick form.)
I never drink tea.
Hot coffee? No, not for me.
Capuccino? Oui!
*****
(Updated with National Coffee Day info and new haiku)
