I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:
To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male, Who would never back down and/or bail. Yet he’s scared to debate Our great VEEP on the date And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!
JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible” And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!) But now Vance is debasing Himself by embracing The Donald, a move indefensible.
JD lives in a house made of glass, Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class. So he hurls his baloney At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”) Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.
Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP “Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep Knows full well Doug (her spouse) Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!
A creative critique of Trump/Vance Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance, Is the least of their sins. We must ward off their wins! If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.
The journey that took us from Joe To Kamala WAS a bit slow. But now that we’re there, We’ll win this, I swear! To the Trump and Vance pair, just say NO!
Please don’t fall for the GOP lies About “unity.” Buyer be wise! It does have a nice ring, But their “unity” thing Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!
Washington Post Headline: “Republicans flock to court to ‘kiss the ring’ during Trump criminal trial”
GOPers are flocking to court To kiss Donald’s rump and help thwart New York’s efforts to try Donald Trump. (He’s their guy!) And to truth, law, and justice distort.
It’s a challenge for Trump to comply With societal rules. He’s a guy Who has always felt free To ignore them with glee; To break laws and to flagrantly lie.
Trump’s accustomed to getting his way. But in Criminal Court, he lacks sway. It’s the Judge who has power, So Don’s looking dour, Forced to hold all his anger at bay.
Be quiet in court and sit down! Trump’s compelled to comply (with a frown.) For he fin’lly must face His first criminal case: It’s Judge Merchan who now wears the crown!
There’s no law fraudster Trump’s loath to flout! And yet people who claim they’re devout, Keep supporting the grifter, That sleazy shape-shifter. Surely Trump ain’t what “God” is about!
Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad. I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad? You di’n’t win by enough? Oh, poor baby! That’s rough! But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true. So is Haley, and both oppose YOU. Nonetheless, it’s unwise To (while spinning your lies) Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
Here’s a free tip for Trump: Spewing bile Is best to avoid while on trial. It may help you raise cash, But it still remains rash. My advice: Try pretending to smile.
Though Donald, whose falsehoods are chronic, May not think of his speech as ironic, The irony’s clear In a phrase he holds dear: “To be honest.” (It’s also demonic.)
Headlines like this drive me nuts: “Is It Possible Trump Will Strike a Plea Deal to Avoid Prison?”
A plea deal for Trump? That’s just mad! Speculation like that’s simply sad. Any pact he might make, He would instantly break! Trump’s a slippery snake of a cad.
“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea From John Lauro, last week in DC. But the judge should be tough, Cuz oddly enough John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.
Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 24th, 2024A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:
“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Haley, New Hampshire, Nikki Haley, Republican Primary, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump Speech
Posted in Campaign 2024, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election 2024, Election Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Trump | Comments Off on Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)