Posts Tagged ‘Tim James’
Saturday, October 24th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Tim James:
Rhett Butler made many heads turn
When he dealt sobbing Scarlett that burn.
A true Southern gent
Would have said as he went:
“Mah dear, Ah just don’t give a durn.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kathy El-Assal:
The personna for whom viewers yearn
Is a Tina-as-Palin type turn
Who’ll earn kudos and laughs
For quaint quirks and fun gaffes.
That’s why SNL’s feeling the Bern.
Brian Allgar:
Said the preacher, “Just listen and learn –
You sinners are all gonna burn!
Your transgression enrages
The Good Lord – the wages
Of sin will be paid in an urn.”
Dave Johnson:
The candles continue to burn;
She’s intent on fulfilling a yearn.
But his focus instead
Is SportsCenter, not bed;
It looks like he might miss a turn.
Konrad Schwoerke:
She was not one her trainer should spurn,
But he did, and she swore he would learn.
So because of her ire,
She lit him on fire,
Then asked, “Are you feeling the burn?
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Kathy El-Assal, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 2 Comments »
Sunday, October 11th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DAVE JOHNSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
On Twitter, his words start to spill
Late at night, and he probably will
Find a way to abuse
Anyone in the news
Who refuses to trumpet his swill.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Yt cai, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Daisy Mae Simon, and Brian Allgar. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Yt cai:
In aisle three, I was cleaning a spill;
Jars of pickles, some sweet and some dill.
The mop wasn’t workin’
I slipped on a gherkin.
To this day it is lodged in me still.
Tim James:
Phil the bear hunter, out for a kill,
Dropped his rifle on taking a spill.
He rolled downhill and then
Straight into a den.
Lucky bears. They’ve now eaten their Phil.
Dave Johnson:
Our waiter had managed to spill
The wine from a glass he did fill.
It fell on her dress,
A terrible mess;
We’re adding a tip to his bill.
Daisy Mae Simon:
Too many think guns are a thrill,
But their purpose is solely to kill.
Mass shootings? “Let’s pray,”
Say the pro-NRA.
Rinse, repeat. How much blood can they spill?
Brian Allgar:
He tried very hard not to spill
The eggs that he’d beaten with dill,
But gave up in despair.
For an omelette, rare,
Simply cannot be cooked on the grill.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Daisy Mae Simon, Dave Johnson, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest, Yt cai
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 3 Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
For a call girl she likes simple chow,
But she charges a grand to drop trou
For a night’s worth of vice.
Here’s her totaled-up price:
Jug of wine, loaf of bread, and a thou.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Robert Schechter, Ian Graham, David Reddekopp, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Konrad Schwoerke, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Robert Schechter:
In Italy, friends, I learned how,
When leaving the palace, to bow.
This courtesy brings
The favor of kings.
(They get mad if you only say ciao.)
Ian Graham:
In the midst of a meeting with Mao,
The Central Committee said “Ciao.
We’re all off to munch
A hot dog for lunch.
We’re told there’s Great Chow in Macao.”
David Reddekopp:
I’m going to make this my vow:
To party for Lent – oh, and how!
For the fast goes by fast
When you’re having a blast
And so now I say “ciao” to my chow.
Dave Johnson:
With hipster beards popular now,
Some fellows have figured out how
To grow ’em real thick
Like a hair-covered brick;
It’s handy for storing some chow.
Tim James:
A sailor, ashore for some chow,
Met a lady who asked him just how
Swabbies “do it.” He laughed,
Turned her round, faced her aft,
And rammed into her stern with his prow.
Konrad Schwoerke:
We were told, on our cruise to Macao,
That some Asians eat dog even now.
And it’s true, ’cause one day
At a local café
Our host asked, “May we bring you some chow?”
Suzanne Heymann:
While making her first wedding vow
The wife planned their life and here’s how:
“I can clean, pay the bills.
I have great bedroom skills.
Just don’t ask me to cook any chow.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Endnote: I’m posting this nearly four hours before deadline because I’m under the weather; I want to make sure I get it done while my brain is still more or less working. :) If I love any additional limerick that comes in within the regular deadline, I’ll add it to the Honorable Mentions.
Tags: Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Ian Graham, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Robert Schechter, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 5 Comments »
Sunday, September 27th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KATHY EL-ASSAL, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever Acrostic Limerick:
Culled by Carly, the workers got canned.
And at H.P., her tenure was panned.
Re-emerging to fight,
Lobbing zingers far right,
Yessiree, she could F up the land.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Phil Graham, Diane Groothuis, and ROBERT SCHECHTER. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
Dr. Frankenstein searched through the land
For each muscle, limb, organ and gland.
Yet his beast makes no fist;
Both arms end at the wrist.
Ain’t he great, folks? Let’s give him a hand!
Dave Johnson:
A bottle was found in the sand
With a note from a far-away land.
“We’ll come to your shore
Like so many before…
But not ’till The Trumpster is canned.”
David Reddekopp:
The gift that we gave her was grand.
She no longer relied on her hand.
On the sofa sat Alice
With vibrating phallus,
And Alice was in Wonderland.
Phil Graham:
Just a banjo, no need for a band,
As the embers of justice he fanned.
Folk music’s more meager
Since losing Pete Seeger;
He “hammered all over this land.”
Diane Groothuis:
He came with his hat in his hand,
Apology practiced and planned:
“I am sorry my dear
For bruising your ear.
That blowfly was trying to land.”
Robert Schechter:
In farms found throughout this great land,
There’s a rule that all cows understand,
And it’s so fundamental!
When milking, be gentle.
Don’t yank on the mammary gland.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Diane Groothuis, Kathy El-Assal, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (232)
Saturday, September 12th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
For golfers who’ve struggled in vain
I’ve decided to finally explain
My special golf diet.
I know once they try it
That par snips on greens they’ll retain.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Kathy El-Assal, Les a/k/a Colonialist, Bob Dvorak, Tim James, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kirk Miller:
There once was a woman named Jane,
Who from heroin couldn’t refrain.
She attempted to quit,
But then had to admit
That her efforts were, sadly, in vein.
Kathy El-Assal:
’Twas apparent she wasn’t Mark Twain.
Her attempts to get laughs were in vain.
So she wrote a French thriller
With taxi cab killer
Who drives all his victims in Seine.
Les a/k/a Colonialist:
In vain he consulted the vane
In seeking a windfall to gain;
But how winds will blow,
One never can know,
So, done in that vein, it’s a pain.
Bob Dvorak:
I’ve struggled at length, but in vain:
Is the Donald an ass, or insane?
But what media sells
Ain’t his open-mouthed yells,
But the size of his overdone mane.
Tim James:
Henry Higgins enunciates “rain”
Then he goes on and on in that vein.
His repeated refrain
On the weather in Spain
In the main gives me pain. Is that plain?
Will T. Laughlin:
We get high in a church, me ‘n’ Jane,
And they catch us. We try to explain:
“We’re just trippin’ on Jesus!”
They still come and seize us,
For “taking the Lord’s name in vein.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Bob Dvorak, Colonialist, Jon Gearhart, Kathy El-Assal, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, September 5th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to DAVID REDDEKOPP, who wins Limerick of the Week for this clever verse:
To me, it won’t cease to amaze
How a priest’s not policed for his ways.
When he buggers boys’ butts?
Reassignment. That’s nuts!
And the priest, he still preaches, and preys.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Will T. Laughlin, Kirk Miller, Brian Allgar, Tim James, Adam Stern, Scott Crowder, and Ian Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Will T. Laughlin:
May McCray has created a craze.
But although May’s maize maze may amaze,
Rose’s rose rows once rose
Where the maize maze now grows,
And they’ll raze the maze one of these days.
Kirk Miller:
He embarked on a dieting craze.
The results never ceased to amaze.
When he stepped on the scale,
Loss of weight he would hail.
It was clear he was changing his weighs.
Brian Allgar:
Mozart’s output was one to amaze;
Though still young at the end of his days,
And approaching defeat
In making ends meet,
He left more than 600K’s.*
*Mozart’s works were catalogued by Ludwig Ritter von Köchel, and go up to K626 (the Requiem.)
Tim James:
The cannibals roasted some maize
And prepared a nice sauce Hollandaise.
Then a rival tribe’s chief
Got thrown in as the beef.
It’s a worthy opponent they braise.
Adam Stern:
Carmen’s passion aroused Don José’s;
Maddalena, Andrea Chénier’s.
But Aida! She slipped
Herself into the crypt
Where she died with her beau, Radamès.
Brian Allgar:
To survive the political maze,
There are rules for these decadent days:
Just keep cheating and lying,
Vote-selling and buying –
In politics, crime always pays.
Scott Crowder:
Whenever I’m caught in a maze
Of beauties, I know where to gaze.
It’s right at my wife;
I value my life
And I’d like to see my golden days.
Ian Graham:
The maize farmer’s hoping for lays
’Mongst the chicks who get lost in his maze,
But a mad Martian jerk’ll
Append a crop circle
And have his strange way with the strays.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Brian Allgar, David Reddekopp, Ian Graham, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (229)
Saturday, August 29th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Poor Dorothy, youthful and rash,
Took a lover with plenty of cash.
But re-Morse she soon showed
For this breach of her Code;
“I’m sorry,” cried Dot, “I must Dash!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Fred Bortz, Adam Stern, Brian Allgar, Carolyn Henly, Allen Wilcox, and Phil Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
The Mexicans, hoping to dash
All our hopes, caused this stock market crash!
Their designs we must fear!
It’s been ever so clear
Since I got into Donald Trump’s stash.
Fred Bortz:
In Asgard, when Norse heroes clash,
They settle their feud with a brash
Track and field competition.
Their personal mission
Is to win the well-known Baldur Dash.
Adam Stern:
I placed first in the hundred-yard dash.
(Left the slow-pokes behind with panache.)
But my joy evanesced
When I found out the best
Received praise, but not one cent of cash.
Brian Allgar:
She was sprawled with her feet on the dash,
And the couple were starting to thrash.
They’d forgotten the brake,
Ended up in the lake –
In the papers, they made quite a splash.
Carolyn Henly:
Exclamation points have some panache,
While the question mark’s not very brash.
The ellipsis had dropped,
While the period stopped,
And the hyphen said “I’ve got to dash.”
Allen Wilcox:
The five-liner form is not rash.
The meter and rhyming don’t clash.
It has rules we adore,
But I might note one more –
A lim’rick can’t end with a –.
Phil Graham:
By the goal posts she waved from her Nash.
I thought, “Great! Gonna get me some gash!”
I arrived, loins on fire
But ’twas just a flat tire.
What a waste of a hundred yard dash.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Carolyn Henly, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (228)
Saturday, August 15th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KIRK MILLER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Down in Sydney, a chef thought he knew
How to add to some soup, kangaroo.
But it spoiled the soup;
’Twas too thick; to recoup
He renamed it mar-soup-ial stew.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Ian Graham, Tim James, and Suzanne Heymann. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
When the weather outside turns one blue
And it’s barren where veggies once grew,
There’s nothing so neat
As to turn up the heat
And serve chili instead of bland stew.
Brian Allgar:
He was painting the whole of Peru
In the purest cerulean blue,
But the paint got confused
With his lunch-pail (he’d boozed),
So now Lima’s the color of stew.
Dave Johnson:
All the others continued to stew
When The Donald was finally through.
He had left Megyn fuming
And now he’s assuming
He’ll fire the rest of them too.
Ian Graham:
“His heart,” in her old mother’s view,
“Will be melted by serving him stew.”
A ragout made of mutton
Seemed right on the button
When he dreamily sighed “I love ewe.”
Tim James:
The gourmet served his signature stew
Made from wombat and spiced kangaroo.
Not to seem impolite,
I consumed ev’ry bite.
Now excuse me. I must find the loo.
Suzanne Heymann:
I once had some gnarly beef stew.
The stuff was just too hard to chew–
So tasteless and dry.
I soon found out why;
It was made from my grandfather’s shoe!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Ian Graham, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Suzanne Heymann, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, August 8th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to PEDRO POITEVIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Having nervously downed our Bordeaux,
We faced off: “You go first.” “No, you go.”
But she said: “Don’t be dunces,
Two fellows at once is
So much better than two in a row.”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Judith H. Block, Andy Bassett, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Adam Stern, Tim James, Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Allen Wilcox, and David Reddekopp. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Judith H. Block:
The bowling pins lined in a row,
I beam with a warm, hopeful glow.
Then I curse and I mutter–
Balls land in the gutter.
But at least they have spared my big toe!
Andy Bassett:
Maid Marian was out for a row
With her man (Robin Hood, don’t you know)
When the Sheriff of Nottingham
Started potshotting ’em.
She was saved by her arrow and beau.
Phyllis Sterling Smith:
I like to eat fresh salmon roe
From the currents that here about flow,
But to all males astride
Of the stream, side to side,
Please don’t yield to the urge to let go.
Adam Stern:
Arnold Schoenberg endeavored to show
(With recruits Berg and Webern in tow)
That one COULD bid adieu
To C major, in lieu
Of a systematized twelve-tone row.
His creations were critically flayed
And left listeners vexed and dismayed,
Prompting Schoenberg to vow,
“If my rows cause a row,
“It’s not THEIR fault – they’re shoddily played!”
Tim James:
Cute Joanna, a Sigma Pi Rho,
Gave a frat boy the ol’ to-and-fro.
But she drank too much beer,
Left behind her brassiere.
So the guy woke to two cups of Jo.
Dave Johnson:
A muscular fellow named Roe
Had a body he wanted to show.
At a nudist resort,
He’s proud to report
His willy left Millie aglow.
Kirk Miller:
At the river, I think you should know
There are preschoolers lurking below.
They are probably not
What you think, if you thought
They are children, because they are roe.
Allen Wilcox:
A lesson, for any new pro,
You should follow wherever you go —
To not hear the words,
“Your plan’s for the birds,”
Your should get all your ducks in a row.
David Reddekopp:
Some enjoy Henry David Thoreau
Or Dickinson, Whitman, or Poe.
I’m also a poet
Though they’ll never know it.
Did THEY compose limericks? No!
Take your sorry-ass stanzas and go,
If you can’t post five lines in a row
That follow this scheme
Whatever the theme,
But these bards set the bar way too low.
Hey Thoreau, don’t you think that you owe
Us a limerick? It’s apropos,
And they could’ve been spawned
At your famed Walden Pond
While you struggled through seaweed and roe.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Adam Stern, Allen Wilcox, Andy Bassett, Dave Johnson, David Reddekopp, Judith H. Block, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phyllis Sterling Smith, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, August 1st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
I was dating three sisters named Boone;
Young April was cold: “It’s too soon,”
And May, though quite hot,
Told me “No, you may not,”
But the good times were coming in June.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Pedro Poitevin, David Reddekopp, Daisy Mae Simon, Phil Graham, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly:
In a penthouse suite down in Cancun,
Lives a slovenly mobster each June.
All you tourists should know
That the world down below
Is his 24/7 spittoon.
Tim James:
A scribe and his editor, June,
Did the nasty, one fine afternoon.
She had gotten quite pissed
With the deadlines he’d missed;
But this ONE time, he finished too soon.
Will T. Laughlin:
Go ahead, Tin Pan Alley, and croon
A tune in which “moon” rhymes with “June”.
Sing of stealing a kiss
From a lissome young miss –
Just don’t sing it to me. I’m immune.
Pedro Poitevin:
I’m shagging a young picaroon
Who loves to show off his harpoon.
He’s too quick with the trigger
And lacking in vigor,
But he arrrs when I whisper “jejune.”
David Reddekopp:
The timing is quite opportune
For an off-color rhyme that’s jejune.
A short penis joke will
Always get a cheap thrill,
But the verse, like my dick, ends too soon.
Daisy Mae Simon:
When he’d walk in from work, he’d call, “June!”
Dressed in pearls and her apron, they’d ‘spoon.’
When her batter he’d lick
She’d get lightheaded quick,
But when Ward asked for Beaver, she’d swoon.
Phil Graham:
A menage à trois started at noon.
The lone man got surprised fairly soon;
With all three going strong,
He thought something was wrong
When May didn’t come before June.
Fred Bortz:
She delivered her baby in June,
Six months past the wedding — too soon —
The result of some merriment —
Condom experiment —
’Twas only a trial balloon.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Daisy Mae Simon, David Reddekopp, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (224)
Saturday, July 25th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Said Irene to Eileen, “Am I late?”
Said Eileen to Irene, “I’m irate!
I lean in the lane
All alone in the rain –
Oh what wicked wet weather to wait!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, Kirk Miller, Dave Johnson, Pedro Poitevin, Will T. Laughlin, and Phil Graham. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
They had lent at so monstrous a rate
That it couldn’t be paid by the date,
For the interest fee
Was twice GNP,
So the bankers now own the Greek state.
Tim James:
A guy found a lady first-rate,
So he asked if she’d go on a date.
But she snapped, “You chew gum,
And it makes you look dumb!”
So he’ll stay home and just mast…icate.
Kirk Miller:
Though the woman heard goose was first rate
At the bistro, supposedly great,
The cook carelessly plucked
The main course; it was mucked.
She felt down in the mouth when she ate.
Dave Johnson:
A mistress grew very irate;
Her lover was chronically late.
One night, he would find
Her gift left behind:
A patient, inflatable mate.
Pedro Poitevin:
Behold my inflatable mate:
Her buttocks are truly first-rate!
I think that I must
Release all my lust
Before I begin to deflate.
Will T. Laughlin:
Donald Trump, at the Heavenly Gate
(Where Saint Peter had asked why he’d rate
An entrance therein),
Said, “If Pride is a sin,
Then it’s God’s fault he made me so great!”
Phil Graham:
I’m hoping to finally sate
My sex drive before it’s too late.
All the dollars I’ve paid
To those whores to get laid
Have my wife acting very irate.
When we last bared our bodies to mate,
Can’t remember just how it did rate.
But my wife blew her chance
For steamy romance.
If she’d blown something else, I’d be great!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Pedro Poitevin, Phil Graham, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, June 20th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
On Craig’s List, Chris posted his lust
For a tryst with a lass to be trussed.
Alas, though: Chris missed
His delicious truss tryst.
He was tied up at work. How unjust!
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Robert Schechter, Brian Allgar, Jon Gearhart, Fred Bortz, Lisi Nortman, Kaye Roberts, Phil Graham, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
She withdrew from the Savings & Trust
All her cash. It’s not much; now she must
Choose ’twixt breast augmentation
And West Coast vacation.
The choice: California or bust.
Robert Schechter:
The essence of love is to trust.
So trust me. I’m able to thrust
Without letting go.
Believe me! . . . Uh oh . . .
Remember that son we discussed?
Brian Allgar:
He stuffed her with thrust after thrust
Like a man half-demented with lust,
Then he bound her with string,
Legs and breast, everything,
Till the Thanksgiving turkey was trussed.
Jon Gearhart:
As I cussed and discussed in disgust
My mistrust with my siblings, we fussed
How the lawyer had still
Not found part of Dad’s will.
My disgust rose from my misplaced trust.
Fred Bortz:
Chez Marquis de Sade is a must
To couple with parry and thrust.
There maidens will tryst
While bound at the wrist,
As long as you’re someone they trussed.
Lisi Nortman:
A marriage is based upon trust,
But if driven by wild carnal lust,
You’ll probably cheat.
So be very discreet.
Don’t come home with your hairdo all mussed.
Kaye Roberts:
Ev’ry man she’d encountered with lust
Had betrayed her, demolished her trust.
So she found a belle chère
And began lez affaire
And left all les hommes in the dust.
Phil Graham:
A ski racer you couldn’t trust
Would consume pork and beans ’fore he shussed.
And to go a bit faster
He’d use his ass blaster
And gain MPH from each gust.
Allen Wilcox:
He was proud that they showed him the trust
To move “David” to clean off the dust.
It fell and it shattered.
He cried, bruised and battered,
“I can only say ‘This was a bust’.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, Jon Gearhart, Kaye Roberts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Nortman, Phil Graham, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Sunday, June 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
She had warts, but she wasn’t half bad,
So they made the short hop to his pad.
His intention to jump ’er
Is now in the dumper:
She laughed ’cause his pole’s just a tad.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Phil Graham, Fred Bortz, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Phil Graham:
A fam’ly of dwarves was quite glad
To be told a developer had
Built a home for them, small,
Costing nothing at all!
It was called “The Stay-free Mini-pad.”
Fred Bortz:
“Before we make love, don’t be mad.”
He responded, “I’ve felt your bra pad.”
She replied with a laugh,
“Hah! You don’t know the half.
The fact is my birth name was Brad.”
Brian Allgar:
Canaan, Cush, Phut and Mizraim would pad
Through the paddy-fields feeling quite sad.
Eating nothing but rice
Isn’t terribly nice
When ‘Ham’ is the name of your dad.
Dave Johnson:
When you’re young & you’re told you were bad,
Just write it all down on a pad.
After years have gone by,
You can read it and try
To re-live all the good times you had.
Tim James:
Many women, all scantily clad,
Have been seen coming out of his pad.
You can call him a rake,
But since rubber can break,
He now goes by another name: Dad.
Will T. Laughlin:
As my way through the city I pad,
I notice this theater ad:
BROKEBACK MT — SWEET NOVEMBER
A WALK TO REMEMBER.
I call that a Marquee de Sad!
Robert Schechter:
My spark plugs just told me they’re sad.
I asked them, “But what is so bad?”
“We’re homeless, you see,
But why should this be
When even the brakes have a pad?”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Phil Graham, Robert Schechter, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, May 16th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SUE DULLEY, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Whether healthy and hearty and hale
Or feeble and fragile and frail,
If a cold makes you cry
And you think you’ll soon die
It’s a hundred to one that you’re male.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy and Dave Johnson. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
A fisherman, typically male,
Set a hook for his co-worker, Gayle.
What a catch, for the win!
After reeling her in,
He found out she was bait — for the jail.
Brian Allgar:
The Judge had released him on bail,
But his kids – seven female, six male –
Screamed and fought all the time,
So he planned a new crime
And returned to the peace of the jail.
Colleen Murphy:
I thought I could learn how to sail
With instructions I got in the mail
But for trimming and tacking
The guidelines were lacking.
At least I could manage to bail.
Dave Johnson:
The party was hardy and hale;
And he was a red-blooded male.
The women were hot
But the ending was not;
He awoke with his head in a pail.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, May 9th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to TIM JAMES, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Two businessmen plying their trade
Got caught up in an IRS raid.
Seems these ten-year-old crooks
Hadn’t kept proper books:
They were bootlegging pure lemonade.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Michael Alan Rosson, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
She was lying quite nude in the shade
When the soldiers marched by on parade.
One came to attention.
I’d better not mention
The weapon he proudly displayed.
Colleen Murphy:
The troops had conducted the raid
But their targets withstood, unafraid.
Though the Boy Scouts rehearsed,
Foes would not be coerced,
For the Daisies were truly first grade.
Dave Johnson:
They’re down in the county of Dade;
To Haulover Beach they have strayed.
Clothing-optional’s where
They’ll wander and stare
At the boobies and butts on parade.
Fred Bortz:
“Our Mother’s Day special parade
Will be canceled,” he said, “I’m afraid.
But our scheduling guy
Was a little bit high,
And his calendar left us dis-Mayed.”
Michael Alan Rosson:
’Round the house the old man was dismayed
When his semi-nude wife would parade.
He did not so much care
What she did/did not wear–
He just hated the brass band that played.
Dave Johnson:
A bagpiper — Angus Kincaid
Had his moment at this year’s parade.
He was over a vent,
Way up his kilt went;
Three ladies then rushed to his aid.
Will T. Laughlin: (for his BAD DATE)
“Sigh. I’ll bet he wants nookie in trade
For the horrible meal that he made…
I’ll lay odds ten to one
That he’ll grin when he’s done
Like he wants me to throw a parade!”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Michael Alan Rosson, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, April 25th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to GARY HENDERSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Since her kitty was always quite wet,
She consulted the neighborhood vet.
He prodded and poked.
“I’d do more,” he half joked,
“But really, we’ve only just met!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Sue Dulley, Kirk Miller, Fred Bortz, Charley Simmons, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, Dave Johnson, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
He was famed for superb “Crepes Suzette”;
All the food critics loved him, and yet
In his “Beef Cannelloni”
Were kitten and pony –
The chef bought supplies from a vet.
Sue Dulley:
A man tours the world on a jet
While thousands of dollars in debt.
“Thank goodness” he smiles
“For aeroplan miles,
Or I might have to sell the Corvette.”
Kirk Miller:
In southeastern Asia I met
A veterinarian, Brett.
He has moved to the States.
His competitor hates
That he says he’s a Vietnam vet.
Fred Bortz:
A vigorous volatile vet
Had a vibrating viperous pet.
Voracious for voles,
It victimized moles.
His rattler’s named “Rodents’ Regret.”
Charley Simmons:
A gal took her hound to the vet
With a story he hadn’t heard yet:
“I bent over this morning.
He jumped me — no warning.
Trim his nails. He’s my favorite pet.”
Will T. Laughlin:
When the kids go to bed, don’t forget:
We must always take care not to let
Grandpa put ’em to sleep.
Though his kindness runs deep,
He’s forgetful … and once was a vet.
Allen Wilcox:
Those running so far are all wet.
We know little about them, and yet,
They’re all dogs, one can see–
Almost all GOP.
It’s clear that they all need a vet.
Dave Johnson:
The sax player wanted to vet
A new drummer to join his quintet.
Her style was just right
And he hoped that he might
One day soon get to play with her set.
Tim James:
She’s a sight that I’ll never forget:
Lean and muscular, curvy and wet.
I caress her, and she
Opens up, welcomes me.
I so loves me that cherry-red ’Vette.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Charley Simmons, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Gary Henderson, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (210)
Saturday, April 18th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SHANNON TUCKER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Shannon Tucker:
I begged of her, “Please let me stick
“My tongue deep inside it real quick.”
She replied with a wink,
“Of course!” and turned pink
Cotton candy t’ward me for a lick.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Brian Allgar, Will T. Laughlin, Stephen B. Fleming, Konrad Schwoerke, and Nate Levin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
If Jack wasn’t nimble or quick
When vaulting that flame-yielding stick,
He’d have damaged his pride,
Disappointed his bride,
And there’d be no Jack Junior or Nick.
Dave Johnson:
She met a new fella named Nick
Who wanted to show her a trick.
With a pill called Cialis,
His two-minute phallus
Turned into a four-hour stick.
Tim James:
A proton attempted a trick:
He pulled others close-in to him, thick.
That’s a problem, because
It breaks physical laws.
Not to worry: the charges won’t stick.
Brian Allgar:
I was proud of my magical trick,
And her clothes disappeared double-quick.
Then I pulled out my wand,
But she laughed, that young blonde,
At my minuscule conjurer’s stick.
Will T. Laughlin:
After shooting the bear, hunter Vic
Stood poking the beast with a stick.
What would happen, we said,
If it wasn’t quite dead?
And Vic replied, “Don’t be ridic–”
Stephen B. Fleming:
A reply to a hot, friendly chick
Who asked for ride to a flick
Was much misconstrued
And considered quite lewd
When I asked, “ Can you handle a stick?”.
Konrad Schwoerke:
There once was a caveman named Glick
Who in rage gave a tree a swift kick.
To the ground fell a bough
That he grabbed yelling, “Yow!
Dudes, come quick—me invented the stick!”
Nate Levin:
All that mud thrown at Hill, will it stick?
Is she raving, quite power-mad, sick?
Well with iron for skin,
Raining barbs won’t dig in–
She’s hard-baked to repel every brick!
Will T. Laughlin:
Poor Jack is too nimble and quick
Finding places his candle to stick.
Now his candle is burning…
He’s finally learning
Where not to be dipping his wick.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nate Levin, Shannon Tucker, Stephen Fleming, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny acrostic limerick:
Plutocracy claims wealth’s a prize,
Rewarding hard work. It’s all lies:
In fact, many show
Zero skill making dough,
Except when a relative dies.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Dave Johnson, Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James, whose limerick is directed to a Benjamin Franklin quote:
Mr. Franklin, you need to apprise
Ev’ry man: if he’s early to rise
After early to bed,
He’s got rocks in his head
’Cause his lady will date other guys.
Dave Johnson:
She thought she might win the big prize
On that show with those glamorous guys.
But a singer she ain’t;
Her voice blistered paint.
Now she’s back once again serving fries.
Allen Wilcox:
All members of Congress must rise
To show that they know that it’s wise
To continue all fights
For strong civil rights,
By keeping their ayes on the prize.
Brian Allgar:
Dr. Spooner said: “I must apprise
My detractors – your jokes are unwise.
I tell you,” he grumbled,
“My stung never tumbled;
It’s all been a great lack of pies.”
Fred Bortz:
He cannot believe what he spies.
What a rack, what great ankles and thighs!
But the view from behind
Is what’s blowing his mind.
Callipygian gals win the prize!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 21st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to STEVE WHITRED, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
An agent with humor too droll
Has been dumped and is out on the dole.
Ninety-nine and The Chief
Are both filled with relief
To know Maxwell is out of control.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Edward von Muir, Colleen Murphy, Jon Gearhart, Brian Allgar, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
At the bridge I expected a troll,
But two beautiful gals took the role
Of collecting the fare.
Who’s in charge over there?
You should ask not for whom the belles toll.
Edward von Muir:
While driving my Nissan Patrol,
I hit, near the boreal pole,
Some old geezer in red,
And I left him for dead,
So for Christmas I only got coal.
Colleen Murphy:
The guard on the bridge was a troll.
He told me he wanted my soul,
But I said, “It’s too late!
Valentino, my mate,
Has already levied that toll.”
Jon Gearhart:
South Korea, right after patrol,
I went into this watering hole.
I told tales and had drinks.
They served food that I think’s
Best summed up as the filly of Seoul.
Brian Allgar:
The golfer was built like a troll
And a fine hole in one was his goal.
But he fumbled the stunt,
And the player in front
Told him “Ouch! You’re in quite the wrong hole!”
Will T. Laughlin:
Don’t respond to the Internet Troll:
If you do, he’ll succeed in his goal.
To his lair in the deep
CAPS-LOCH Ness he will creep,
Bearing with him a piece of your soul.
Will T. Laughlin:
Oh joy. I’ve defeated the Troll,
And discovered a magical scroll.
Though my character’s plungin’
Deep into the dungeon,
My love life’s a much deeper hole.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Edward von Muir, John Gearhart, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
“Can you tell me,” the funnyman quips
(A self-satisfied smirk on his lips,
And with giggles a-boil),
“Why the moon’s like a mohel?
’Cause ’e goes to your son, and ’e clips!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Scott Crowder, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
The plumber used solder and clips,
And wrenches and pliers and grips.
He made quite a racket,
And charged me a packet,
But STILL that confounded tap drips.
Tim James:
Her co-workers suck: They eclipse
Bright ideas from anyone’s lips.
A collection of hacks!
Like a bowl full of snacks,
This poor gal is surrounded by dips.
Byron Miller:
Mid-movie she gets up and skips
To the snack bar for chocolaty chips.
As she passes the screen
She then adds to the scene
The effect of a lunar eclipse.
Brian Allgar:
The gambler has run out of chips,
And his bill-folds are just empty clips.
“Can I wager with sex?
She’s as stacked as your decks,
And you’re welcome to poker,” he quips.
Scott Crowder:
She slowly removes her hair clips
And sensuously gyrates and strips,
Yet causes him worry;
If she doesn’t hurry,
He’ll finish before he unzips.
Will T. Laughlin:
The thrills of Las Vegas eclipse
Good sense and economy. Trips
For a Teachers’ Convention
Too often to mention
Turn into “Goodbye, Mr. Chips.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
