Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TROLL or PATROL at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “TROLL” or “PATROL” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here are my two limericks:

A cop while on ev’ning patrol
Jailed a vagrant who’d stolen a bowl
Of hot soup for his meal.
It seems many folks feel
That stealing’s a RICH person’s role.


I’ve been asked as the rhyming patrol
If roll can be rhymed with parole:
With their stressed sound the same
(Roll and role) I must flame
Such a “rhyme,” if true rhyming’s your goal.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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84 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: TROLL or PATROL at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Jon Gearhart says:

    When in ‘Nam one night after patrol,
    I went into this watering hole.
    I told tales and had drinks.
    They served food that I think’s
    Best summed up as the filly of Seoul.

  2. Jon Gearhart says:

    Last night while out taking a stroll,
    I met an old crotchety troll
    He lived under a bridge.
    His breath smelled like the ridge
    Of brown flesh that surrounded his hole.

  3. Jon Gearhart says:

    Your Mama’s an ugly old troll;
    So ugly, she stops clocks. My soul,
    She’s the dumbest of clucks
    And the truth is, she sucks
    So much that her nickname’s Black Hole.

  4. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Malice ‘Bout Dallas

    Two trolls were sent out on patrol:
    One was sober, the other one droll.
    “Let’s discuss JFK,
    Where he made Norma J. …
    Waste, no rolls on that nice grassy knoll!”

  5. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Clinton in 2016

    Yeah, Hillary’s still on a roll :)
    I hope she ignores any troll-
    Ing by media types
    Who pile gripes atop snipes.
    We know “running” exacts heavy toll…

  6. Steve Bates says:

    “,,, I must flame
    Such a “rhyme,” if true rhyming’s your goal.” – MK

    I dissent! ‘Twas our saint, Edward Lear
    Thought this neither peculiar nor queer:
    Don’t just rhyme 1 and 5…
    Use the very same jive!
    Did that rhymer supreme, Edward Lear.

    – SB the YDD

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    Though he’d tunnelled away like a mole
    To escape from the prison, his hole
    Had been dug the wrong way;
    On emerging next day,
    He was caught by the courtyard patrol.

  8. Jon Gearhart says:

    Sgt. Parker was done with patrol.
    Saw his wife who was taking a stroll.
    Picked her up to go dine
    On French food and fine wine,
    Then went home for a Parker house roll.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    The golfer was built like a troll
    And a fine hole in one was his goal.
    But he fumbled the stunt,
    And the player in front
    Told him “Ouch! You’re in quite the wrong hole!”

  10. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker was eager to troll
    For a customer out for a stroll.
    But the guy was a cop,
    So he got a free pop,
    And she’s hoping they’ll give her parole

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    The problem with being a Troll
    Is that sunshine can take quite a toll.
    You may frolic all night,
    But in dawn’s early light,
    Solid rock will become your last role.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    I belong to the werewolf patrol;
    On those nights when the moon’s full and whole,
    We go out to protect you
    From wolves who’d infect you –
    We vampires are proud of our role.

  13. With his best friend on patrol
    A romantic moment with Joel
    He gave me a hug
    Was the candy a drug?
    My virginity he doth stole.

  14. In the sixties I got a troll.
    I named him “Rock ‘n Roll”
    On my wedding night
    I squeezed him tight.
    On my marriage it’s taken a toll.

  15. @Steve Bates

    I’m afraid not everybody agrees with you:

    Gershon Legman despised Edward Lear.
    In his Preface, he made himself clear:
    Lear wrote CLEAN ones (for shame!)
    With his rhyme words the same
    (“And besides,” muttered Legman, “he’s queer!”)

    Well, Legman can go soak his head.
    I’d rather read Lear-ics instead.
    But the caveat there is
    He’s sui generis —
    The Lear-merick’s only for Ed.

  16. Don’t respond to the Internet Troll:
    If you do, he’ll succeed in his goal.
    To his lair in the deep
    CAPS-LOCH Ness he will creep,
    Bearing with him a piece of your soul.

  17. When I comment on blogs, as a whole,
    I think I am witty and droll.
    But in back of my head
    Lurks a terrible dread:
    Could it be that I’m only a troll?

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    Thought my feelings were on high patrol
    That all things were under control
    Then I met this guy
    My standards are high..
    It’s my longing heart that he stole.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    The motorcade had a patrol
    Yet shots came from the grassy Knoll.
    Kennedy killed
    As criminals willed…
    Inside was a CIA mole.

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    This girl was an internet troll
    Causing havoc was her main goal.
    She would spread lies
    And relish the cries
    But on herself, hate took its toll.

  21. Oh joy. I’ve defeated the Troll,
    And discovered a magical scroll.
    Though my character’s plungin’
    Deep into the dungeon,
    My love life’s a much deeper hole…

  22. Global Warming is past our control.
    The permafrost melts at each pole.
    With the buildup of gas,
    Oceans rise — Kiribati*
    Will shortly be Nothing Atoll.

    (* ki-ri-BASS)

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    There was a young man on patrol
    For a woman whom he could cajole
    Into having sex
    But all chances he wrecks
    His actions are out of control.

  24. Tim James says:

    At the bridge I expected a troll,
    But two beautiful gals took the role
    Of collecting the fare.
    Who’s in charge over there?
    You should ask not for whom the belles toll.

  25. Brian Allgar says:

    The explorer was trapped in a hole
    That was dug by a ravenous Troll.
    “Will you join me for lunch?”
    Said the Troll. With one crunch
    He had swallowed him, body and soul.

  26. To avoid being on patrol,
    To his honcho he did cajole:
    ” I’ll get you a dame
    Who will promise to proclaim
    Your virtue and self control.”

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    They call it ‘The Midnight Patrol’ –
    It’s the cops who are seeking a doll.
    Though she isn’t for hire,
    If a girl lights their fire
    They’ll say “Blow us, or face Vice Control.”

  28. One night at the diner, a Troll
    Turned into a pillar of coal
    When the eggs for his sup
    Came out Sunny-Side Up —
    Now, here’s your health, gentlemen. Skål!

  29. (NOTE: “Sock-puppeting” is when Internet trolls create bogus user accounts to bolster their side of an argument.)

    Oh, pity the sock-puppet troll!
    When confusion had taken its toll,
    His caustic replies
    Cut *himself* down to size
    In a truly tremendous own-goal.

  30. Edward von Muir says:

    I purchased my daughter a troll
    (a plastic and fluoro-haired doll).
    As bald grew my pate,
    it filled me with hate,
    and I buried the thing in a hole.

    My daughter, she grieved to her soul.
    She cried, “Where on earth is my troll?”
    I said with a stammer,
    and no thought for grammar,
    “My darling, it must have been stole.”

  31. Edward von Muir says:

    I met with an internet troll
    on a forum to grieve and console.
    When I said that my sister
    had died from a blister,
    his callous response was just “lol.”

  32. Marty McCullen says:

    The cops are always on patrol.
    They’re ready to play, “Rock and Roll”.
    I’d better abide
    And stay here inside.
    I seldom go out on a stroll.

  33. Edward von Muir says:

    While driving my Nissan Patrol,
    I hit, near the boreal pole,
    some old geezer in red,
    and I left him for dead,
    so for Christmas I only got coal.

  34. Colonialist says:

    A troll named Kong put heart and soul
    Into rolling rocks groups as his goal;
    Rock groups grew and grew,
    Till nobody knew
    They’d really got art of Kong troll!

  35. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Wittingly Wordsmiths

    My heavens, you all are so droll :)
    Collectively we’re on a roll.
    We’ll woo Mad and stun her,
    Great limerick hunter –
    I just won!…Mad’s (thump.) lump of coal :(

  36. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Rats, not again – left out the rhyme word(s)! Will fix…

  37. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Wittingly Wordsmiths

    My heavens, you all are so droll :)
    Collectively we’re on patrol.
    We’ll woo Mad and stun her,
    Great limerick hunter –
    I just won!…Mad’s (thump.) lump of coal :(

  38. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Belle in Hell, or, What the Hades?

    One day Hades, out on patrol,
    Spied Persephone taking a stroll.
    I must have you, he cried,
    For my Underworld bride!
    Long months she lay in his control

    And the world of men missed her, above :(
    Demeter gave Zeus a big shove:
    You galoot, spring her loose –
    She’s our kid, you got juice!
    Heaving sighs, Zeus replied, Yes, my love…

    The next thing men knew, Spring was here
    (Hecate put a hex on Zeus’s “spear”).
    His wife smiled, though still mad;
    Their freed daughter was glad –
    Visits hubby in winter each year.

  39. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Boys Rule, But Not Tonight

    The black brethren were on house patrol,
    Keen cat noses checked out their food bowl.
    Then up waltzed Baby Sweets,
    Calmly snagged all the treats.
    SilverToes: how did she wrest control?

  40. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Logjam, Cogs Jammed :(

    I want to write more: do mind troll!
    But my words spin, lurch out of control.
    This limerick smells,
    It gives off signs and tells
    Readers I need a break! Yeah, good goal.

  41. Jon Gearhart says:

    Late one night I was taking a stroll
    With a lady from highway patrol.
    Stole her heart and got married
    And won’t part till we’re buried–
    I got life with no hope for parole!

  42. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Pervert: Troll Relishes Role

    I came ‘cross a bridge that charged toll
    And in the booth sat a large troll.
    He glared, then – big wink;
    I heard (smelled) dis-stink-
    Tly: “Would you like control of my pole?”

  43. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    It’s Not Safe to Open Your Door, or, Intestinal Fortitude

    “I’m taking a poll,” said the troll
    Most politely, “On vole versus mole.
    It’s just a taste test,
    Have a bite! Which is best?”
    I’d heard of this kind of Con Troll.

  44. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    She Nose Better

    I attended the huge Rockin’ Troll
    Fest, whose slogan “The good times we stole”
    Created confusion
    And spread the illusion
    The trolls, newly out on parole,

    Weren’t up to their old rotten tricks
    Of smearing the bleachers with Vicks :(
    I stayed, watched the shows,
    All the while held my nose…
    Yes, it’s true trolls with *icks pick up chicks.

  45. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He’s A Soul Man – er, Troll

    The ad blared, It’s just Rock N. Troll
    Fresh from Paris in his latest role!
    As Folly BlowLightly
    He dances, sings nightly:
    Looks grand in his custom vole stole.

  46. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Sweets Aren’t All We Eats…

    A dark city alley: a troll
    Declared, “It’s a turd, ‘pon my sole!”
    And then shuffled along,
    Broke into ragged song
    As she scooped the turd into her bowl.

  47. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Ribald Reminiscing

    Remember the days sexy Lol-
    A moonlighted as Biggie’s con-troll-
    Uh? No accounting for taste,
    But that hurt: what a waist
    Above legs she’d wrap ’round Biggie’s (w)hole 8^D

  48. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    In Hot Pursuit of Fruit

    “More pineapple!” (drool) gasped the troll,
    Saliva strands set to unroll
    As he hooted for fruit,
    Spent the last of his loot.
    In the hole? Yep, a troll on the Dole.

  49. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Thief Refuses to Turn Over New Leaf

    I’ve got a bad toothache! moaned Troll,
    But my dentist knows I’m on parole.
    …Can’t you just pull it out?
    Roar heard, then vengeful shout:
    OW! Forget it, I’ll keep what I stole!

  50. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Puzzling Advice for All

    This week’s really nasty, groused Troll,
    Erudite – rarely foiled in his goal.
    I’m feeling quite caustic
    About this acrostic;
    It’s time for a long calming stroll.

  51. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Boating and Astronomy Don’t Mix

    You thole my paddle, lisped Troll:
    Your thievery’s out of control!
    If you don’t give it back
    Right now, you’ll get a whack
    Tho hard you’ll feel it in your black hole.

  52. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Spy-der Man in DC (No Comic)

    The lobbyist known as The Troll
    Scooped up tidbits at watering hole
    Scrooda Peepul (a joke!),
    Knocking back rum and Coke
    As he spun webs of further control.

  53. yt cai says:

    On the internet Trudy would troll
    For that person to make her whole
    Met a mate from Australia
    Whose thing was paraphilia
    Went down under to steal her sole

  54. Mark Kane says:

    Our cops of the evening patrol
    Search for and ‘Command and Control’
    Every donut they find,
    But of this I don’t mind,
    It’s a pastry we should all extol.

  55. Janie Gouge says:

    He was a despicable troll
    Plaguing poets, whose verses he stole
    Sent to twitter’s gulag
    Despite all he’d bragged
    Party’s over, the game was getting old!

  56. (This probably won’t make sense to anybody who hasn’t played games like “Dungeons and Dragons” or “World of Warcraft”)

    My cleric tried giving a Troll
    Marijuana in place of a toll.
    The beast took the pot…
    But a Troll he was not;
    I got killed by that damned Grassy Gnoll!

  57. Fred Bortz says:

    When posting, beware of the troll,
    Who shows up on your page as a mole.
    Only way to defeat him
    Is block and delete him
    Disruption is his only goal.

  58. Fred Bortz says:

    “I’m only here taking a stroll,
    Though if you are after a roll
    In the hay or a bed,”
    The hot prostitute said,
    “There’s no charge for the Highway Patrol.”

  59. Mike’s twin was on patrol
    So John took a little stroll.
    Jill couldn’t tell them apart,
    But then she got smart:
    She detected Old Spice on his totem pole.

  60. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    For Whom the Troll Swells, or, AfterNoon ‘Fore Skin

    From a distance, I saw a lawn troll
    While out for a leisurely stroll,
    But as I got closer
    I saw the large hose – er:
    Gasp, lifesize? We could take a poll!

    It sported a hat, wicked grin,
    That implied carnal knowledge and sin.
    Hid in part by a bush,
    It quite flaunted its tush –
    But its front apparatus would win.

  61. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Don’t Loaf Here: Rye Knot?, or, He’s Stollen My BreakTime

    At the bakery held forth a troll:
    “A bialy’s a bagel sans hole…”
    (Do you have tissue, please?
    I’m allergic to cheese-
    Iness!) Groan: Tony Troll’s on a – roll

    And proceeded to egg on the crowd
    By requesting their comments be loud.
    “Bran’ new day, folks! Wheat too
    Want to break bread with you…”
    Pan-A-Tony: annoying but proud.

  62. Steve Bates says:

    @Will T. Laughlin…

    Bananas! you know how they feel:
    Those duplicate rhymes lack appeal.
    CLEAN limericks? Phooey!
    HOG GENERIS! (Sooey!)
    Hey, Legman! Hey, Lear! You for real?

  63. Hatred Untold

    There are people who like to dole
    Hatred on any old soul
    They travel the sites
    Spreading their blight
    And we all know them as trolls

  64. Before we went out on patrol,
    The Sergeant was calling the roll.
    When he reached my name — “Spenks?”
    I responded, “No thenks!”
    (That’s the reason I’m digging this hole.)

  65. (Out of competition, for obvious reasons)

    Though ev’ryone knows that I relish
    Rhyming rhymes that are complex and hellish,
    Ought I tell ’em what I’ve
    Left in Lines One Through Five
    Lest I make my competitors jealoush?

  66. Fun on the Reservation

    The handsome Hopi was on patrol
    So his twin brother took a little stroll.
    Could Pretty Lady tell them apart?
    Oh yes, she’s very smart.
    Smelled Old Spice on his totem pole.

  67. If adventurous sushi’s your goal,
    You should try “Scandinavian Roll” —
    The seaweed and rice is
    Enclosing thin slices
    Of lutefisk, brown cheese… and Troll.

  68. Who’d willingly take on the role
    Of a hideous Internet Troll?
    Why, a person Half-Assed
    Who is hoping, at last,
    Extra practice will make him Ass-Whole.

  69. Matt Regan says:

    As leader of his first patrol
    In his Scout troop, my son must enroll
    Support from his cohorts,
    And lead them to some sorts
    Of of camping that all can extol.

  70. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Right-Wing Male(?), Unknown…

    Introducer’s eyes wide and a’roll,
    The candidate’s goals to extol:
    Questions on his record
    And recent past (checkered)
    Might challenge the party-line troll.

  71. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Up For Grabs? Marco Rubio

    …Plays fine in Miami, pat role.
    He spouts the same ol’ folderol:
    Guns, not VAWA; smoke grass?
    (Did he use it? He’ll pass.)
    Just remember, gals, no birth control!

    Wait, Rubio: well groomed, ambitious,
    A stretch to fulfill dark-horse wishes.
    “Control women, not guns!”
    (I just can’t help these puns.)
    When required, Hillary can be vicious :)

    *Mad, I took liberties with the rhyme word just for fun :)
    **VAWA = Violence Against Women Act

  72. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Mad, my apologies – Marco My Words was meant to be stanza two for Up For Grabs?…
    Amended title, too: “Up For Grabs? Marco My Words”

    Can you fix for me? Thx very much! :)

    (From MBK: Fixed)

  73. Ease up on the gas pedal
    There’s a cop on patrol!
    He knows you’re speeding,
    which is clearly cheating.
    Meet him at the smashed telephone pole.

  74. Oops! I did not rhyme
    Let’s try again:

    Hey, ease up on the gas control;
    There’s a cop on patrol!
    He knows you’re speeding,
    which is clearly cheating.
    He’s waiting at the smashed telephone pole.

  75. (not a duplicate)

    To avoid being on patrol,
    to his honcho he did cajole:
    “I’ll get you a dame
    who will proudly proclaim
    Your virtue and self-control”.

  76. Fred Bortz says:

    My lim’ricks this week on the whole
    Are nothing that Mad would extol.
    But the entries are few,
    So I’ll add this one, too.
    Hope it’s favored by Kane’s Prize Patrol.

  77. Allen Wilcox says:

    Her dad was on constant patrol.
    He so wanted a fake grassy knoll
    That behind it he’d crouch –
    Wtch them sit on the couch.
    All her mother could do was console.

  78. Allen Wilcox says:

    Old King Cole was a grumpy old troll,
    So he yelled for his pipe and his bowl,
    And he screamed at his fiddlers
    Who turned out to be piddlers.
    They’re still working to earn their parole.

  79. Allen Wilcox says:

    A candidate , hoping to troll
    Good news from results of a poll,
    Found bad, nothing good.
    It was clear that he would
    End up on a rock, not a roll.

  80. Allen Wilcox says:

    At a gay bar a bouncer quite droll
    Watched a patron obnoxiously troll.
    “After i kick him out,”
    He said, “Hear me shout
    ‘Goodness sake’ and then ‘God bless my sole’.”

  81. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    We Await Her Verdict

    ‘Cause Mad is on poem patrol
    Tonight, seeking those to extol:
    Oh wow, one’s my lim’rick!
    A poke with a sharp stick
    {A shabby, dream-scene trick!}
    Awoke me :( [for whom bells don’t toll]

  82. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Mad About Me?

    I hope she is! On her patrol
    She’ll find those of us on a roll
    And, while not Helen Hunt,
    Though I’m known to be blunt,
    Perhaps Mad sees ‘ricks to extol :)

  83. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Wha’: Two? See!

    Dual troll brigade, trolling for Troll,
    Learned he had evaded control.
    His lim’ricks were prose,
    And he just thumbed his nose –
    So much for their Pros and Cons Stroll.

  84. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 203.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because the new Limerick-Off has just begun: Emote or Remote or Moat.