UPDATE: This Limerick-Off will continue for a second week and run through March 7th. Why? Blame Time Warner’s outage in my neighborhood, from which I’m now recovering. Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: EMOTE or REMOTE or MOAT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using EMOTE or REMOTE or MOAT at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner early March 8, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your extended submission deadline is Saturday, March 7, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

An actress who tends to emote
Over nonsense was grabbed by the throat
By an actor one day.
’Twasn’t part of the play,
But his mode of theatrical note.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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95 Responses to “UPDATE: This Limerick-Off will continue for a second week and run through March 7th. Why? Blame Time Warner’s outage in my neighborhood, from which I’m now recovering. Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: EMOTE or REMOTE or MOAT at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Unseemly Behavior, or, Avaricious Knights

    He rode to the most remote moat,
    Where the foul knight indulged in a gloat:
    Oh, man, Percy and Lance
    Would indeed shite their pants
    When they saw his brand new Dragon boat :)

  2. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Cry Harder

    The boy did his best to emote
    On the stage as he dripped on his coat,
    But director yelled, Cut!
    Come here, son: smacked his butt –
    Now you feel it! (Smack harder, she wrote.)

  3. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Are We Feelin’ It Yet?

    The polished pol, stuck on Emote,
    Cajoled “sainted patriots”: Vote,
    But make sure it’s for me!
    He joked loudly with glee –
    Believing foes’ chances remote.

  4. Fred Bortz says:

    Santorum is known to emote,
    “First man-on-man, then man-on-goat!”
    Said a goatherd named Thomas,
    “If that is a promise,
    Then Rick will be getting my vote!”

  5. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A Win-Some Gesture

    The shy young man’s chances remote,
    He plunged both hands into his coat.
    She took just one glance,
    Then ogled his pants:
    His package seemed worthy of note :)

    They ended up on her long couch,
    Where shyness aside, he, no slouch,
    Propelled by attraction,
    Plunged into prompt action:
    Less filling, she later would vouch :(

  6. Kirk Miller says:

    “Watch me climb up that hill!” I emote.
    To some tourists, my partner does note:
    “He is mountain goat-like
    When he goes on a hike,
    But to me, he is just an old goat.”

  7. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    He Wants To Watch TV, Too

    One night she declared, tone remote,
    I just can’t continue devot[e]-
    Ing time to your hunt
    For more jewels, coin, and blunt!
    Your lifestyle’s not one to promote.

    Furthermore, I have no idea where the *amn remote is :(

  8. Karma says:

    There once was a newsman of note,
    who told tall tales just so he could gloat.
    He got caught. He got sacked.
    Then he said, “I’ll be back!”
    but I’d say that the odds are remote…. ;)

  9. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Water, Water Everywhere

    Crusoe intended to float
    To additional islets, remote,
    Then it struck: rain and thunder.
    Bail full speed or go under!
    Whatever, he groused, floats my boat.

  10. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Mad, aaaghhh! I must have been thinking “opera” while writing “shipwrecked” :( Can you replace with Crusoe? Thx :))

    (MBK: Done)

  11. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Egocentric? It Goes to Show

    Bystanders would swear a large tote
    Might contain actors’ egos’ mass bloat:
    “It’s rare, such a lout
    Could be quite so devout!”
    Cast projected, in over-Emote.

  12. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The Moat in Todd’s “I”

    A techie designed an e-moat
    About which he’d overemote
    ‘Til his date grew remote
    Early on, grabbed her coat:
    Cute but boring! she flung (quote, endquote).

  13. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    God Shoulda Noah-n Better?

    Many times, Noah thought God remote
    But constructed His Ark: it would float :)
    People died…time went by
    (Russell Crowed.) See the sky!
    Raven: land! Man’s hope: greed’s antidote?

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    She was wearing a stunning mink coat;
    Underneath, not a stitch or a mote.
    She obtained it – wink, wink! –
    The way minks get a mink,
    For a sizeable treasury note.

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    The actress could never emote;
    On the screen, she recited by rote.
    But the girl was no slouch
    On the old casting-couch,
    So they chose her by popular vote.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    I was born on a world that’s remote;
    When I tell you its name, kindly note
    That to laugh would be heinous –
    I come from Uranus …
    Stop cackling, you stupid old goat!

  17. Mark Kane says:

    In areas near and remote
    The press is now eager to note
    This puzzle of three,
    But which should it be:
    ‘The Year of the Ram, Sheep or Goat?’

    Year of the Yang

  18. Judith H. Block says:

    Oh why, last night did I emote
    Now I regret most that I wrote.
    Felt sad for myself
    Emotions to shelf!
    “Real beauty is inside,” I quote.

  19. Judith H. Block says:

    Please give me the goddamn’ remote!
    I hate watching sicko pols gloat.
    I can’t stand their lies,
    Oh, how I despise
    These Repubs, and how they emote!

  20. Judith H. Block says:

    The knight had a bad case of bloat..
    Just stood and stared at the deep moat.
    No way he could cross,
    The fault was the sauce…
    He damned last night’s huge gravy boat!

  21. Judith H. Block says:

    His chances of scoring, remote
    A guy brays like a billy goat
    His methods are crude
    His comments are lewd..
    He won’t sow a single wild oat.

  22. The director said I can’t emote,
    Because I always have a frog in my throat.
    He said so smugly,
    “You are very ugly”.
    I replied “You’re no dreamboat”!

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    On a mountain far and remote
    There lived a quite lovely, wild goat.
    With friends he did thrive
    More than just survive!
    No need for a human-built cote.

  24. scott says:

    I asked her last night and I quote,
    “Where the hell is that fucking remote?”
    It soon came to pass,
    It’s so far up my ass,
    I change channels by clearing my throat.

  25. not a duplicate

    I don’t think it’s too remote
    To call you a dirty old goat.
    I saw you stare
    With an indecent glare
    Right under my pink petticoat!

  26. On an island so very remote
    I met an angora goat.
    I stripped him bare
    So that I could wear
    My fashionably elegant coat.

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    The invaders were stopped by the moat
    Round the castle, and hadn’t a boat.
    So the knights, rather dim,
    Then attempted to swim,
    But their armour, alas, didn’t float.

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    Miss Kentucky had won every vote
    And her folks were all there to commote,
    Though her paw said “A pity
    She ain’t very pretty,
    But, heck, she can fuck like a stoat!”

  29. I like a man who can emote,
    And sing the songs he wrote.
    Who wears great blazers
    And does shows with lazers.
    His name is Tom Petty-Coat.

  30. not a duplicate

    On his daughter the father did gloat.
    One could even say he did dote.
    So afraid was he
    She’d go out on a spree,
    Around their house he built a moat.

  31. When women got the vote,
    My father did angrily emote:
    “Nothing in pink
    Can seriously think”
    And that is an actual quote.

  32. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Hey, Jud-ith :) or, Praising Block On the Clock

    I agree that The Right “can” emote.
    Gee, why not deny them the vote?
    They can see how they like it,
    Hard-won votes not worth spit:
    Toss prejudice down their mass throat.

    Politics seems to bring out my bad side
    Which relishes having a wild ride!
    I’d hum that old song,
    Can’t we just get along?
    Wish we could! All of us must decide…

  33. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Great Scot(t)! Can We Watch TV at Your Place?

    Seems your talent for hitting emote
    Helped you locate your missing remote :)
    Don’t complain, it’s internal!
    Her response was nocturnal-
    Ly infernal :) Yes, your “she” gets my vote.

  34. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Where Do They All Come From?! or, Mad in 2016

    I love a well-told anecdote :)
    Puns surge forth in my brain: I emote!
    I invent and confess,
    Rail and wheedle, profess;
    Praise this forum, Mad ~ YOU get my vote :)))

  35. An actor — well-known to emote
    When he reached that familiar quote —
    In a blunder historic
    Cried, “Poor ass, Alorick!”
    (And that’s what the “Times” review wrote.)

  36. “My liege,” said Sir Bedevere, “Note
    That construction’s come in under quote —
    For the contractor digs
    A new moat using pigs!”
    Said King Arthur, “Don’t hog the re-moat.”

  37. We got in our vessel to float
    Far away to an island remote
    Where there’s no damned TV.
    Hold it — who’s this I see?
    Is that Gilligan? BACK TO THE BOAT!

  38. In wooing, I tend to emote
    And give my emotions full-throat.
    As my zeal hits its acme,
    The girls often smack me…
    It figures: I’m smitten, they smote.

  39. scott says:

    @ Patrice

    While watching the Oscar emotes,
    I laughed at your lim and your note,
    which caused me to cough,
    that channel went off,
    and turned it to Murder, She Wrote

  40. In high school I totally did dote
    For Jim I’d embarrassingly emote.
    I started to cry
    And thought I would die
    When the teacher saw me passing a note.

  41. Two lovers rented a boat
    To flee to an island remote.
    But when a hole in the hull
    caused their flight to be null,
    They decided to get out and float.

  42. yt cai says:

    When Lord Brimley filled up the moat
    His feelings were way more than smote
    He fell in from the bank
    Then rubber ducky sank
    And his blow up dragon won’t float

  43. yt cai says:

    Shipwrecked on an island remote
    Caruso took charge from a vote
    Though Friday abstained
    Young Robinson reigned
    Over what he couldn’t connote

  44. Judith H. Block says:

    Hey, Patrice of the ManyCats (which proves you are a TERRIFIC person!)

    That’s something we’d all like to do…
    For that would sure teach them, how true!
    But they own the vote-
    The fat cats just gloat!
    We’re governed by the greedy few.

  45. Judith H. Block says:

    For Patrice, Continued-

    With Citizen’s United we’re screwed:
    Corporations, greedy and shrewd.
    So they all emote
    And then buy the vote
    We’re all in a to the death feud.

  46. So you think that the chance is remote
    You’ll be killed by the gun that you tote?
    Well, I’m sorry, my friend,
    But the Second Amend-
    ment may serve as your suicide note.

  47. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    JHB, I Agree – CU at Rush Hour :(

    Gah! Talk about overemote:
    Cram the “Right Stuff” down each reader’s throat.
    CU’s site, poli-babble
    For the wealthy and “rabble”
    Aims low at Barack, Head Scapegoat :(

    Their content reminds one of Rush,
    Whose vitriol ducks behind “plush”:
    PRN’s true crown jewel
    Or their fatuous fool?
    Hint – his goal: fans’ wee brains turned to mush.

    And, would you believe this? You must:
    Taxpayers protected his bust!
    Missouri paid for a cam,
    (Rush is glam?) Ballsy scam :(
    Why not pay a maid full time to dust?


  48. Jon Gearhart says:

    I live in a place so remote
    It’s often been known to emote
    Isolationist fears
    That it just might be years
    Before someone comes over thee moat.

  49. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Spouting Gibb-erish, or Joust Nuts: *Paying Tribute

    King Arthur to Merlin did gloat
    O’er the size and length of his moat.
    Then: “I spoil for a fight!
    Joust one more Broad-Weigh knight
    Blamin’ it all on his surcoat” :(

    “How long will they stand between us?
    Defend moat? (Cuss.) Knights, are they surplus?
    Bee ye deaf! Gees, my Wiz,
    Turn away not thy phiz:
    It goes straight to the heart, acting thus” :(


  50. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    ArThur Still More Huns?

    A huge, mottled horse leapt the moat;
    Knight dismounted, sword to the guard’s throat.
    Is Merl in? I’m Sir Plus,
    There’s no need for a fuss.
    Attil(y)a, this castle’s remote!

    I’ve come to report to the wiz
    And the king, help support what is his.
    But our Queen Guinevere?
    All is not well, I fear;
    She has Lance – a lot. It’s what it is…

  51. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Education: Pearls Beyond Price

    Its location was fairly remote;
    Ah, the memories of yeshivoth
    Where he studied Talmud –
    Those days, they were good :)
    We all should have time to devote.

  52. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Down the Up Ladder – It’s Just Wrung

    A slacker girl tried to emote:
    Boss (dwarf) said he’d have to demote
    Her, but sad lack of practice
    In fact led to actus
    Reus: wrung him dead by his throat.

  53. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Still Got Money, Though No Honey

    Now, darlin’, let’s not sugarcoat
    How you’re actin’! You’ve been so remote,
    Bet you’re leavin’ me soon :(
    …What, this same afternoon?
    Leave the checkbook: mah shure antidote :)

  54. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Lenny Unwise

    He acknowledged the chances remote
    Of finding much valuable groat,
    “But it’s my lucky day!
    (Can I borrow $10k?)”
    No, you can’t, you pound-foolish old goat!

  55. The Couch Potato family all have strep throat.
    What makes it worse, they have lost the remote.
    They turned the house upside down,
    But little Janie got the golden crown:
    She found it grandma’s Prada tote.

  56. Jon Gearhart says:

    My new TV’s humongous remote
    Is too big for one person to tote.
    The damn thing’s 6 feet square
    With more buttons on there
    Than upon yo fat mama’s big coat!

  57. not a duplicate

    My mother-in-law visited by boat.
    With white gloves in her tote.
    She said, “Good heavens, my dear,
    I strongly fear
    I have detected a dreadful dust mote!”

  58. Tim James says:

    Chef Pierre went to fish in the moat
    ‘Cause the king wouldn’t spring for a boat.
    He caught catfish and eel
    And an old orange peel.
    It’s cuisine, but it’s not very haute.

  59. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    High On A Website

    Whee! I’m in a state of emote ~
    Just discovered the site Wikiquote :)
    Wikivoyage and -travel…
    Wahoo! Let’s not cavil
    O’er time spent; I need a brain “tote”!

  60. not a duplicate; let’s try again!

    We who matriculate at Choate
    are elite, elegant and haute.
    I’m glad I sleep in the nutmeg state,
    because I really live near the Golden Gate,
    So commuting would be very remote!

  61. not a duplicate

    My father was wont to emote.
    He was such a crabby old goat.
    He claimed he was from Siberia,
    But he suffered from deliria.
    Saying he got here rowing a boat.

  62. The open mic poet clears throat
    and then does his best to emote
    but then it is found
    that we can’t hear a sound
    another old amp has been smote

  63. The director said, “EMOTE”!
    But I had a frog in my throat.
    “Hit the road,
    And get rid of that toad,
    or go back to Terre Haute!”

  64. I must strongly emote
    because there’s something caught in my throat.
    Daddy made dinner
    And it wasn’t a winner
    I think it was a fricasseed goat.

  65. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Water World, or, One Too Many Motes

    Last night, I could fill up a moat:
    My nose, eyes! Kleenex in a tote :(
    Sneezing was the first sign;
    Pour! honk; cough, clear (slight whine).
    Today, searched: yoga antidote :)

  66. Charley Simmons says:

    Wedded Bliss

    “Give me the remote,
    You Stinking Old Goat.
    Get out of your chair.
    Go get some fresh air.
    Don’t just sit there and bloat.”

  67. Charley Simmons says:

    The brave knights crossed the moat
    In a small wooden boat.
    But,they ran out of luck
    When the moat monster struck.
    Sadly armor doesn’t float.

  68. To the anti-gay clergy, a note:
    If you’re bound on removing the Mote
    From your gay neighbor’s eye,
    Could you please tell us why
    Your Beam’s down that altar boy’s throat?

  69. My Brother William

    Brother William lives on an island remote.
    Now and then we receive a scribbled note.
    He is so unkempt,
    That we feel contempt,
    So we call him Billy The Goat.

  70. If the past tense of smitten is smote,
    Then the past tense of mitten is mote.
    This language is confusing,
    So remember that when you’re using
    Something that you done did wrote.

  71. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Castled and Checked (and Maybe Screwed)

    King Arthur admonished, Re-moat!
    We need enough water to float
    The longboat out of here,
    Or we’ll rot ’til next year!
    Attil(y)a, he really would gloat :(

    Guinevere came the same night
    By land, to soothe A. ‘midst his plight.
    A: Upon you I dote!
    G: Stick that in your (tote)…
    So commenced one royal heck of a fight

    Which subsided when Merlin stepped in:
    Hey, Guin, how the *ell have you been?
    Why not make up by screwing,
    Just as easy as chewing!
    I can sleep, then, and all of us win :)

  72. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Iraq, Webb Rocks! Nixed Photo Opp (Dem Run in ’16?)

    Jim Webb, of Virginia? Remote
    Though his chances, the man can emote :)
    Dubs to Webb: How’s your boy?*
    Webb: [One more to deploy,
    In this war that you love to promote…]


  73. Mark Kane says:

    I’ll whisk her to somewhere remote,
    Nice and warm where we won’t need a coat.
    Oh we’ll play in the sun,
    Then make our own fun,
    And I might even sow my last oat.

  74. madkane says:

    Message for Limerick-Offers and other limerick fans: This Limerick-Off will continue for a second week and run through March 7th. Why? Blame Time Warner’s outage in my neighborhood, from which I’m now recovering.

    So you can continue to post entries with the rhyme word EMOTE or REMOTE or MOAT (for lines 1 or 2 or 5) both on this blog post and on this FB post: Facebook Limerick-Off Post

  75. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Focus! But Not Overmuch

    The director urged, “Bud, re-emote:
    Easy thing with your hands ’round her throat!”
    Prod.: “Bud has ADD,
    But insist and you’ll see!”
    …Ann was buried wrapped in her new coat.

  76. Shipwrecked on an island remote
    Caruso fell in love with a goat
    When push came to shove
    He thought it was love
    Till the goat rammed him back on his boat.

  77. Bob Dvorak says:

    An immigrant said, and I quote:
    “As a citizen, someday, I’ll vote
    To throw out ev’ry twit
    Down in Congress, to wit:
    Let’s make GOP chances remote.”

  78. In a country very remote
    Columbo was stuck in a boat.
    For meals he eats fish,
    But he wants a knish.
    And found one in his trusty trench coat.

  79. You can plead, with a catch in your throat…
    You can rage, tear your hair, and emote…
    Or just sob in the corner;
    Whatever. Time-Warner
    Will watch as you suffer, and gloat.

  80. not a duplicate….wrong tense!

    On an island very remote
    Columbo was stuck in a boat.
    He survived by eating fish,
    But he was dying for a knish
    Then found one in his trusty trench coat.

  81. (Time-Warner’s screwup means I have time to contribute an acrostic. Yay!)


    Each speaker takes pains to emote,
    Making much of each fake anecdote.
    Oh, it’s total manure —
    Though of this they make sure:
    Ev’ry lie is a quotable quote.

  82. Laura M says:

    I once knew a girl who’d emote
    Her pleasures as if to gloat
    Til her daily rendition
    Of her “coming to fruition”
    Her neighbours all knew by rote.

  83. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Too Bzzzzy To Let It ~Beey~

    Never heard of this word, too remote;
    Wiktionary’s Word of the Day (quote).
    Best not pester bees drowsing
    Nor when they’re carousing…
    You may hear them gloat as you bloat :(

  84. Tim James says:

    “I’ve invented,” the scientist wrote,
    “A ‘Star Trek’ transporter. Take note:
    After many a try
    I’ve beamed dust by wi-fi,
    Thereby sending the world’s first e-mote.”

  85. Dave Johnson says:

    To make the new house more remote,
    He had them construct his own moat.

    He’ll reach the back door
    By traversing the floor

    Or paddling around in a boat.

  86. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    I’ve a fetish for moisture: a moat,
    Or some pond, or a pool gets my vote.
    Any sex is way better
    When things are way wetter;
    It’s water that’s floating my boat.

  87. Allen Wilcox says:

    With chances of winning remote,
    The head of the party took note,
    “Put away all your tissues.
    We can’t win on the issues,
    So let’s try suppressing the vote.”

  88. How much longer can we devote
    To words that rhyme with remote?
    We have racked our brains
    Till nothing remains.
    It’s time for the next favored vote.

  89. Thomas Gorman says:

    When I couldn’t find the remote
    I grabbed my stepdaughter by the throat
    She kept losing the thing
    As if it ‘had wings’
    In the end, I threw her in the moat.

  90. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Emote or Remote? Let’s Promote Both

    My hubby defaults to “remote”
    While I often choose to emote:
    It all shows in my face!
    Yes, both modes have their place
    And keep many a marriage afloat :)

  91. Allen Wilcox says:

    The sound came from somewhere remote,
    But familiar it was, I must note.
    Its howl, though not throaty,
    Came from a coyote,
    Or, if you prefer, a coyote.

  92. Allen Wilcox says:

    A king with free time used his moat
    For experiments worthy of note.
    So he let the turds come
    To discover why some
    Of them sink and why some of them float.

  93. Jeff Root says:

    We had our last date in a boat,
    in a spot both romantic and remote.
    ‘Twas nice way to spend it,
    though his aim was to end it,
    not considering that my body might float.

  94. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners!

    Limerick of the Week 2014.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: PRIZE OR APPRISE.