Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VET at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “VET” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

On a trip with his dog to the vet,
A fellow attempted to pet
A fish-lover’s guppy.
“That isn’t a puppy,”
Yelled the vet, who was doggone upset.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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92 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: VET at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Gary Henderson says:

    Since her kitty was always quite wet,
    She consulted the neighborhood vet.
    He prodded and poked,
    “I’d do more,” he half joked,
    “But really, we’ve only just met!”

  2. Kirk Miller says:

    In southeastern Asia I met
    A veterinarian, Brett.
    He has moved to the States.
    His competitor hates
    That he says he’s a Vietnam vet.

  3. A gal took her hound to the vet
    With a story he hadn’t heard yet.
    “I bent over this morning”
    “He jumped me with no warning.”
    “Trim his nails.” “He’s my favorite pet.”

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    The hooker decided to vet
    His claim to a “bass clarinet”,
    Saying “Call that a dick? Hello!
    More like a piccolo!
    But high notes I’m happy to get.”

  5. Dave Johnson says:

    He went looking on Craigslist to get
    A companion to take to the Met.

    She arrived at his place
    But alas, had the face

    Of something you’d take to the vet.

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    I was sick – the result of a bet –
    But my doctor said “Go see a vet”,
    For I’d swallowed a frog
    And a hair of the dog,
    And my nose had turned shiny and wet.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    My ex-wife is a qualified vet,
    Educated, well-spoken, and yet
    She said hardly a word
    When she gave me the bird.
    Now I’ve only a parrot to pet.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    It’s a day I shall never forget,
    When my brother turned into a pet.
    He would pee in the park
    And incessantly bark
    Till I had him put down by the vet.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    In a country that’s ex-Soviet,
    They are hoping to find a good vet
    With a needle to shoot in
    A mad dog called Putin,
    But no one seems willing, just nyet.

  10. Marty McCullen says:

    I was ready, but not quite set
    When my brother offered to bet
    That he could whip me
    Like some old monkey,
    So we haven’t done that, not yet.

  11. Marty McCullen says:

    I was ready, but not yet “set”
    When my brother offered to bet
    That he could whip me
    Like some old monkey,
    So we haven’t done that, not yet.

  12. Judith H Block says:

    A man had decided to vet
    His appeal on a sexy brunette.
    But try as he might,
    Because of or in spite,
    She hasn’t said yes to him yet!

  13. Judith H Block says:

    A guy had decided to vet
    Some whiskey, wine and anisette.
    But the next morning,
    A strong future warning-
    His head and his stomach, upset.

  14. Judith H Block says:

    How I would love to be a vet.
    To me the best vocation, yet!
    But give your pet bacon,
    I’ll be more than shaken,
    And say something I will regret!

  15. Judith H Block says:

    There once was a young army vet
    Who saw things he’d want to forget.
    Vet health care was cut
    By some right-wing nut
    He still hasn’t gotten help yet.

  16. Judith H Block says:

    A woman decided to vet
    Three guys she had recently met.
    With no compromise
    When it comes to their size;
    No love making she would forget.

  17. I bought me a silver Corvette
    The chicks aren’t swarming, not yet
    But my friend’s Model X
    – That’s a Tesla – gets him sex
    From girls he’s not even met!

  18. Brian Allgar says:

    He was famed for superb “Crepes Suzette”;
    All the food critics loved him, and yet
    In his “Beef Cannelloni”
    Were kitten and pony –
    The chef was supplied by a vet.

  19. My blind date was an honored vet
    We met on “Patriot.Net”
    We wined and dined
    He was very kind
    He even cured my ailing pet.

  20. Dave Johnson says:

    Two models named Eve and Yvette
    Were charmed by a chap they just met.

    He told them he’d breed
    With the strength of a steed.

    (For he was a fine equine vet.)

  21. Dave Johnson says:

    She went to a neighborhood vet
    And decided to play hard to get.

    They had a big chase
    All over the place;

    Our bill now we’ll likely regret.

  22. Dave Johnson says:

    An actor, a well-seasoned vet,
    Embarrassed himself on the set.

    A blue pill he forgot;
    His co-star was not

    Too happy with what she would get.

  23. I took my dog to the vet
    I saw she was very upset.

    She wouldn’t let go
    I paid the dough

    Now I’M spayed with a pink barrette.

  24. Something I’ll always regret
    Is my date with a so-called “vet”

    We hupped, two, three
    Right into a tree

    And ate freeze-dried meat from a net.

  25. yt cai says:

    Bush’s search for a VP was set
    All that’s needed is someone to vet
    Dick Cheney selected
    Himself, got elected
    The world hasn’t recovered yet

  26. yt cai says:

    My girlfriend and I used to pet
    Her father was strict and a vet
    He caught us half dressed
    As you might’ve guessed
    Found a new place for his bayonet

  27. I took my cat to the vet
    Her name is “Lovely Cocette”

    He removed the wrong leg
    Set her up with a peg

    Her new name is “Gimpy La Pet”

  28. Dave Johnson says:

    A tennis pro wanting to vet
    A new client, rushed towards the net.

    The ball headed long;
    He noticed her thong

    And then she won match, game and set.

  29. Andy Sewina says:

    Love that word ‘guppy’. Fun one, nicely done.

  30. Andy Sewina says:

    Here’s my attempt:
    Down in her basement kitchenette
    Across the street from Lafayette
    Healing kittens
    She was smitten
    She thought she was some kind of vet

  31. When the kids go to bed, don’t forget:
    We must always take care not to let
    Grandpa put ’em to sleep.
    Though his kindness runs deep,
    He’s forgetful… and once was a vet.

  32. Tim James says:

    She’s a sight that I’ll never forget:
    Lean and muscular, curvy and wet.
    I caress her, and she
    Opens up, welcomes me.
    I so loves me that cherry-red ‘Vette.

  33. I took my cat “Brett”
    To the”distinguished” town vet

    He looked like a fish
    Licked from a dish

    Now Brett is treating Doc Fret

  34. Dave Johnson says:

    Tim Tebow’s an NFL vet;
    Spent time as a Bronco and Jet.

    His career kind of stalled –
    Now Philly has called;

    The T-Bow show’s not over yet.

  35. I shouldn’t have married a vet
    I’d say it’s my biggest regret

    He’d go out on the lawn and
    Play Reveille at dawn

    Till the neighbors issued a threat!

  36. Humpty Dumpty went to the vet
    He was very friendly with Doc McKett

    His head was on the seat
    His hands were on his feet

    He was an esteemed member of the “Shattered Jet Set”

  37. Dave Johnson says:

    Tom Cruise played a young Navy vet
    Who spent his time flying a jet.

    With “Maverick” his call,
    He sure had a ball

    In a Tomcat as cool as you’ll get.

  38. Dave Johnson says:

    Lisi’s Humpty reminded me of this one:

    After Humpty had his great fall,
    They came and demolished the wall.

    But there was no shame;
    They trademarked his name

    For an omelette cafe at the mall.

  39. Fred Bortz says:

    A return to a favorite theme

    Santorum consulted a vet
    On what man-dog sex will beget.
    The reply: “I admire
    Your desire to be sire,
    But your offspring will fail as a pet.”

    “Have no doubt, the result is regret.
    A pup’s risk of distemper is set
    By the sire’s attitude,
    And I see how you brood
    About breeding–the worst I’ve seen yet.”

  40. My town has the world’s worst vet
    He should be taken away in a net

    He put Dumbo’s ear
    On my doggie’s rear

    When he poops, he can smell Tibet

  41. not a duplicate….just similar

    Something I’ll always regret
    Is my date with a so-called vet

    We did the military crawl
    It ruined my new shawl

    And I got horrendously wet

  42. not a duplicate

    My town had the world’s worst vet
    His name is Doc McKett

    He put Dumbo’s ear
    In my doggie’s rear

    Now when Rover poops, he hears catcalls in Tibet

  43. Humpty Dumpty went to the vet
    He wondered if he could be reset

    His head was on the seat
    His hands were on his feet

    But his disheveled condition was a sad regret

  44. My prescriptions have put me in debt
    I am in a state of perpetual fret

    I put on a green beret
    Went down to the local V.A.

    And said, “Hello, I’m a vet”

  45. One day I decided to vet
    The behavior of the local Jet Set

    They stayed up till three
    Had an erotic spree

    I fell asleep and my panties got wet

  46. Dave Johnson says:

    A practical joker named Chet
    Was waiting to talk with the vet.

    To a pit bull named Sue,
    He turned and went “BOO!!”

    His ICU nurse is Annette…

  47. What happens on my pilot, hubby’s jet?
    Now is my chance to vet!

    I sneaked on the plane
    There he was with Jane!

    Ah, ha! he went off his DI-ET!

  48. Not a duplicate

    Humpty Dumpty went to the vet
    He wanted to be reset

    Head, on the seat
    Hands, on his feet

    A disembodied regret!

  49. Byron Ives says:

    “At port,” said the old Navy vet,
    “In Thailand, I had one regret.”
    “I met some poontang,
    At a bar, up in Trang,
    But never did get to Phuket.”

  50. not a duplicate

    Humpty Dumpty went to the vet
    To see if he could be reset.

    With his head on the seat
    And his hands on his feet.

    He was a complete disembodied quintet!

  51. not a duplicate

    My town has the world’s worst vet
    His name is Doc McKett

    He put Dumbo’s ear
    In my doggie’s rear

    Fido poops, while hearing yelps in Tibet

  52. Fred Bortz says:

    A vigorous volatile vet
    Had a vibrating viperous pet.
    Voracious for voles,
    It victimized moles.
    His rattler’s named Rodents’ Regret.

  53. Our committee was determined to vet
    How a librarian gets a job in Marquette

    She must be well-read
    And extremely well-bred

    And have cleavage with a nice firm set

  54. Dave Johnson says:

    The sax player wanted to vet
    A new drummer for his quintet

    Her style was just right
    And he hoped that might

    One day get to play with her set.

  55. Going with Roger to the vet
    Was a day I’ll always regret.

    He peed on the floor
    Threw up on the door

    And we also had an ailing pet

  56. Dave Johnson says:

    Sax man (take 2)

    The sax player wanted to vet
    A new drummer for his quintet.

    Her style was just right
    And he hoped that he might

    One day soon get to play with her set.

  57. Dave Johnson says:

    Sax man – out of rehab

    The sax player wanted to vet
    A new drummer to join his quintet.

    Her style was just right
    And he hoped that he might

    One day soon get to play with her set.

  58. Dave Johnson says:

    Right-wingers are trying to vet
    The candidates, hoping to get

    One that’s ideal,
    He’ll roll over and heel;

    A Koch brothers poodle dog pet.

  59. In the waiting room at the vet
    Francois and Fifi met

    At first glance
    They did the dance

    Now I’m raising La Litter Quintet

  60. HA says:

    That is a cool limerick.
    I am lousy at writing limericks and thus, I would not make an attempt. I read some of the entries and they are wonderful.

  61. Bjorn says:

    In Paris there was a coquette
    who went by the name of Anette
    she traded in sin
    there was no-one akin
    cause she treated herself at the vet

  62. Too many of the apathetic forget
    an actual person flies the jet,
    & if the plane is brought to ground,
    too often the pilot is never found.
    Time to repent–go help a Vet.

  63. In Judaism, if you attempt to vet,
    You’ll find a divorce is called a “Get”

    But if you stay single
    Your pockets will jingle

    And you’ll have no need to get a “Get”

  64. Dave Johnson says:

    Ol’ Charlie’s a veteran’s vet;
    Most gung-ho that I’ve ever met.

    I once asked him why;
    Hel looked to the sky,

    “For their sacrifice, lest we forget.”

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    Line 4 – He looked to the sky

  66. kanzensakura says:

    “doggone upset”. this is just a fun write and made me laugh with glee. I take my cat to the vet tomorrow and I am printing this off for her to read.

  67. Grace says:

    Smiling at your limericks as well as the others ~ Fun post Mads ~

  68. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    My friend dated a pet doc, Annette,
    But soon wished that they never had met.
    She’d insult the schlemiel
    So routinely he’d feel
    He was being put down by the vet.

  69. Ivan was a seasoned vet
    He sang till he would sweat

    He never went to school
    But the opera was “Ivan The Fool”

    So he got to sing at the Met

  70. There was an actress—-Coquette
    Who claimed she was a “seasoned vet”

    She played “Hansel and Gretel”
    Was granted the “Operatic Medal”

    She had two heads, so she did the duet.

  71. Fred Bortz says:

    A talkative yak from Tibet
    Was sick, so he went to the vet.
    But the doc couldn’t tell
    How to make the beast well
    ‘Cause yak yacked, and he isn’t done yet.

  72. Ah yes.. i’s takes my kitty kat to the vet..
    And no tame pet is that kit kat at all..
    in fact is met with chocolate kisses
    from sweet vet ladies who kat meets
    wherever his gold fur and green eyes go..:)

  73. Dave Johnson says:

    The parrott was there at the vet;
    It seemed he was rather upset.

    Squawking “Hey you dumb pricks,
    What’s up with my fix?”

    They duct tapped him with no regret.

  74. Byron Ives says:

    Jon Gearhart, where yat?

  75. Bryan Ens says:

    petting a guppy…yes, that might cause consternation amongst vets. Can you even take your guppy to the vet? :-)

    I almost am willing to bet
    if you make a rottweiler upset
    I’d be speaking truth
    you would soon feel his tooth
    and they’d call for a doc not a vet

    (A Dirge for a Distempered Clavier)

    As the sun is beginning to set,
    I look back on my life with regret:
    Oh, if only I’d spent
    All the money I’d meant
    On my sins! But it went to the vet.

  77. Allen Wilcox says:

    Those running so far are all wet.
    We know little about them, not yet.
    They’re all dogs,one can ,see
    Almost all GOP..
    It’s clear that they all need a vet.

  78. lynn__ says:

    my son dreams of being a vet
    needs years of schooling yet
    he studies so hard
    he could be a bard
    an acceptance letter he’ll get!

  79. Allen Wilcox says:

    “I know that I made the floor wet.
    I think it’s an unjustified threat.
    We all lose control,
    So please save my soul.
    I can’t stand to go to the vet.”


    “I don’t need a man,” said Yvette.
    “This long and firm veggie’s my pet.
    Just don’t be a meanie
    And call him ‘zucchini’…
    He’s Jacques, my beloved courgette!”

    NB: There should be a grave accent over the ‘e’ in ‘beloved’, but I can’t get one on this stupid phone.

  81. NIMBUS Q. DOG, 2000 – 2011

    “This puppy,” I said to the vet,
    “Is called Nimbus. It’s hard to forget:
    Like the cloud, she is dark,
    With a thunderous bark…
    And she tends to leave ev’rything wet.”

  82. Jon Gearhart says:

    Lord Byron, I’m quite pleased to get
    You’re shout-out about me. I’m set
    To return from my fog.
    I’ve been sick as a dog
    And had 2 lengthy stays at the vet.

  83. We took our constipated pet
    To an emergency visit at the vet.

    “It’s okay for Rover
    To observe Passover

    But spare the matzos in his dinette”

  84. Byron Ives says:

    Welcome back, Jon! Appetite’s whet,
    To read your next funny vignette
    Good health shall ensue!
    (Pssst..hey, how did you
    Get medicare to pay for your vet?)…..

  85. Byron Ives says:

    My new gal’s a cute Army vet
    She calls her left boob a boobette
    I agreed with a laugh,
    “Hell, it’s smaller by half!”
    Since then I’ve had zero asset

  86. In the waiting room at the vet
    Francois and Fifi met

    It was love at first sight
    They did more than just bite.

    Now I’m buying a puppy layette.

  87. Jon Gearhart says:

    I’m still on the mend as of yet
    So don’t expect reams of stuff yet.
    Who says Medicare will
    Be footing the bill?
    I might have to sell off my vette…

  88. Byron Ives says:

    I never did have no damn vette
    I just weren’t among that jet set
    I’m a biker, by God!
    Could I pick up the broad?
    On my Honda Trail 90? ….Not yet.

  89. In Paris I met my friend Brett
    He was recognized as an honored vet

    I was looking for a hooker
    Who was also a “looker”

    He replied: “Yes, a charming gigolette”

  90. Allen Wilcox says:

    He felt sick as he flew on a jet.
    The only doc there was a vet.
    The vet put him under,
    But it seems made a blunder.
    He left the plane minus a set.

    “My baggage is less – I”m upset.”
    He barked at the vet,”No regret?”
    Said the vet,”I”m perturbed.
    You seem quite disturbed,
    But I”m sure you will make a great pet.”

    He replied,”But how could you forget?
    I”m a man, not a dog – you’re all wet.”
    Said the vet,”But it’s free.
    I will charge you no fee.
    Give thanks you’re not deeper in debt.”

    “That’s not an excuse, and I’ll bet
    That you do this to all you can get.”
    “I’m making amends.
    It”s how I make freinds.
    You must surely be glad that we met.”

  91. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Her dog, Jet, had her very upset.
    “Well, your pet is just fine,” said the vet.
    “But he’s sticking his nose
    In that sheath ‘neath my clothes!”
    “Don’t you fret, he’s just keeping it wet.”

  92. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 210.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Rhyme: Slide.