Posts Tagged ‘Newt Gingrich’
Tuesday, December 13th, 2011
Confessed serial adulterer Newt Gingrich has taken the Family Leader no-adultery pledge, which includes this statement: “I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to my spouse and respect for the marital bonds of others.”
Apparently, the following limerick was stricken from an earlier draft:
Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
No adult’ry for me, pledges Newt.
I’ve given my cheating the boot.
I’ve confessed and repented.
My soul’s reinvented.
And I can’t get it up, so it’s moot.
Tags: Adultery Humor, Campaign Satire, Defense Of Marriage Act, Election Humor, Family Leader Pledge, Marriage Satire, Newt Gingrich, Religion Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor | 12 Comments »
Sunday, December 11th, 2011
In the wake of Mitt Romney’s misplaced $10,000 bet, the “Intrade political futures market shows Mitt Romney’s chances of winning the GOP presidential nomination dropping to 40% today, while Newt Gingrich’s chances have surged to 37%.”
Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt’s ten-thousand dollar faux pas
Makes Republican voters say, “Bah!”
So betting is strong
That Romney’s gone wrong,
And that Newt will get voters’ “Hurrah!”
Tags: $10000 Bet, Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Election Humor, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Debate, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Mitt’s Losing Bet (Limerick)
Saturday, December 10th, 2011
Tonight’s Drake University, Iowa Republican Presidential Debate, hosted by ABC News and moderated by Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopoulos, looks to be pivotal:
Gunning For Gingrich (Limerick)
They’re gunning for Gingrich tonight.
Opponents are poised for a fight.
The GOP’s freaking:
No more are they seeking
Non-Romney, with Newt as their plight.
Tags: ABC News, Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Diane Sawyer, Election Humor, George Stephanopoulos, GOP Humor, Iowa, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Diane Sawyer, Election Satire, George Stephanopoulos, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, December 7th, 2011
A Trump-moderated Republican debate? Even Karl Rove says it’s a terrible idea.
Damn! Me — agreeing with Karl Rove. That’s seriously scary!
Meanwhile, Mitt Romney did the classy thing, for once, adding his name to the list of candidates who’ve declined the Trump Debate Invite. So far, Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, and Romney have declined to participate, while Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum have accepted.
Limerick Ode To The Immoderate Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Debate moderation’s an art,
And practitioners need to be smart,
Diplomatic, well versed—
In the topic immersed.
Donald Trump? Not just bad. Off the chart!
UPDATE: Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus has come out against the Donald Trump debate, citing as his reason Trump’s ongoing flirtation with an independent run for president. Additionally Perry has now declined his debate invitation.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Debate Limerick, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Jon Huntsman, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Debate, Reince Priebus, Republican Debate, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, RNC, Ron Paul
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jon Huntsman, Karl Rove, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul | 3 Comments »
Monday, December 5th, 2011
No matter which Republican candidate fades or drops out, the poll numbers beneficiary always seems to be Not-Mitt:
In the first national public opinion poll on the GOP presidential candidate contest since Herman Cain suspended his campaign Saturday, our survey finds frontrunner Newt Gingrich with a 14% lead over his closest challenger, Mitt Romney.
“Newtering” Mitt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m beginning to feel Romney’s pain:
Cain’s loss is Newt Gingrich’s gain.
Though opponents may fade,
Romney just can’t persuade
Their supporters to back his domain.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Political Polls, PollPosition
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on “Newtering” Mitt (Limerick)
Saturday, December 3rd, 2011
Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Herman Cain has dropped out of contention
With his primary contest suspension.
But there’s plenty to mock:
Perry’s gaffes and Mitt’s shock
At the cocky Newt Gingrich ascension.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Rick Perry
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Herman Cain, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry | Comments Off on Herman Cain’s Gone, But The Mockery Carries On (Limerick)
Friday, December 2nd, 2011
New York Magazine’s Dana Amira has the numerical dirt on something that’s annoyed me for decades: Newt Gingrich’s over-use of pretentious words like profoundly, deeply, frankly, and fundamentally.
Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Frankly speaking, Newt likes to amass
Pompous adverbs to give himself class.
He feigns gravitas soundly
With deeply, profoundly.
Fundamentally, Newt is an ass.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Dana Amira, Election Humor, Language Satire, New York Magazine, Newt Gingrich, Pomposity, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republicans Humor, Speeches
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Language Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Speeches Satire | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Newt “The Thinker” Gingrich
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011
Newt Gingrich is threatening … I mean, promising, to teach a free online course if he becomes president. But Kennesaw State College students still haven’t recovered from his fact-challenged 1990s course “Renewing American Civilization.”
We Don’t Want Newt-Education (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The “history prof” known as Newt
Taught a course that was really a beaut:
Filled with “facts” that are fiction,
Misleading depiction
Of life from an overstuffed suit.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Education Humor, Election Humor, Newt Gingrich, Online Courses, Revisionist History
Posted in Campaign Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011
It’s time for some more political clerihews — whimsically biographical four-line poems, described more fully here.
I’ve written one for each of the would-be presidents who appeared at last night’s Republican debate:
Mass. Governor Mitt,
A job cutting hit.
He flips and he flops,
As positions he swaps.
*****
Herman “9-9-9” Cain:
(Romney hopes he’ll wane)
Though many think he rocks,
He belongs on Fox.
*****
James Richard Perry:
Is he bright? Not very.
A lousy debater—
Called Bernanke a traitor.
*****
Unhinged Michele
Is sinking pell-mell.
Even crazier than Palin—
Just what is she inhalin’?
*****
Former Speaker Newt,
A pompous beaut.
Purports to be intellectual,
At selling books effectual.
*****
Rick Santorum
Seems lost in this forum.
He’s none too calm
Over his Google Bomb.
*****
Libertarian Ron Paul
Is having a ball.
Doesn’t stand a chance.
But enjoys the dance.
*****
Jon Huntsman jokes
But can not coax
Any support for his reign.
He’s way too sane.
*****
Tags: Campaign Satire, Clerihews, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Debate, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul
Posted in Campaign Humor, Debate Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Non-Political Humor, Political Clerihews, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, White House | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Lightweights — No Debate!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans held a debate
To see which prez contender would rate.
Not a one was impressive,
And all are regressive—
Mad lightweights galore! What a slate!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich, Republican Debate, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Michele Bachmann, Mitt Romney Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Tim Pawlenty | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 9th, 2011
Limerick Ode To Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s some news that inspires a laugh:
Newt Gingrich has lost his main staff.
They quit him en masse.
(Do they think him an ass?)
Newt’s so peeved, he may shoot a giraffe.
UPDATE: Was my “giraffe” reference too obscure? For those who don’t know what it refers to, just follow the link in the last line of my limerick.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Giraffe Hunting, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks | 7 Comments »
Thursday, May 19th, 2011
Newt Gingrich is still out on his I didn’t say what I said tour. He even tried to get back in Rush Limbaugh’s good graces by claiming his Meet The Press Paul Ryan plan comments had nothing to do with Paul Ryan or his plan.
Open Limerick To Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, campaign’s over — fini!
I’ll admit it — I say this with glee.
You insulted Paul Ryan,
And nobody’s buyin’
Your stories — you’re no nominee.
(Lots more Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rush Limbaugh
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Paul Ryan, Political Limericks, Rush Limbaugh | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, May 18th, 2011
It amazes me that anyone could call David Gregory’s Newt Gingrich interview a “gotcha” interview. Yet that’s exactly what Newt’s been doing in the wake of his campaign’s self-destruction.
However, if you read the Meet The Press transcript, it’s clear that nobody trapped Gingrich into condemning Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan as undesirable “right-wing social engineering.”
So here’s my theory: Newt and his fellow Republicans have been coddled and spoiled by Fox News. As a result, many of them have lost their edge and can no longer handle themselves when asked even-handed questions.
I never thought I’d be saying this but…
Thank You Fox News (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
While Fox has been tempting to mock
Cuz its cov’rage is mostly a crock,
Softball questions spoiled Newt,
Who can’t handle a brute
Like Dave Gregory — Fox News, you rock!
UPDATE: To add to my amusement, Newt Gingrich is trying to forbid people from quoting his Ryan Plan criticism in an ad. Here’s Newt: “any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate.”
Lots of luck with that, Newt.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Conservatives Satire, David Gregory, Fox News, Gotcha Questions, Interviews, Media Humor, Medicare, Meet The Press, Newt Gingrich, Paul Ryan
Posted in Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Health Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011
Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign is imploding with breathtaking speed. So he’s earned himself yet another limerick:
Newt Already Needs A Reboot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, you’ve imploded too fast.
And I fear that I’m rather aghast.
Cuz a drawn out campaign
Would sure entertain.
But you’ve screwed up too quickly to last.
(More Newt Gingrich limericks here)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | 5 Comments »
Monday, April 4th, 2011
I really have to give Newt Gingrich credit — he’s consistent in his visceral hatred for all things Obama. Here’s Newt’s latest gem of a quote in response to President Obama’s reelection campaign announcement:
“Here’s a president who 18 months before the election is going to use his office to extort contributions on a scale we’ve never seen before,” Gingrich said in New Hampshire where he addressed the Institute of Politics at St. Anselm College in Manchester. “He’s in effect trying to create a Chicago style machine for the whole country with a billion dollars.”
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Newt Strikes Out Again
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s another new Newt-think contortion —
(Newt’s brain cells seem packed with distortion.)
He was fine when Prez Bush
Had a fund-raising push.
Let a Dem do the same? It’s extortion.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Fund Raising, Newt Gingrich
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Friday, March 25th, 2011
I have very mixed feelings about Obama’s handling of Libya and U.S. involvement in military operations against Muammar Gaddafi’s Libya. But unlike Newt Gingrich, I don’t routinely contradict myself on the topic, while pretending to think about running for president.
That Newt’s A Beaut
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Newt Gingrich is caught in a bind
Cuz he can’t resist changing his mind.
Unable to choose
From his Libyan views,
He’s had lots of them — all ill-defined.
There’s a method behind Newt’s mad song:
It’s condemning Obama as wrong.
If Obama should do
What Newt counsels, on cue
Mister Newt to that view says “So long.”
Tags: Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Libya, Military, Muammar Gaddafi, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, War
Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, Hypocrisy Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, War & Antiwar Poems, White House | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 10th, 2011
Have you ever answered a “what’s your worst fault” question from a prospective employer by mentioning a positive trait?
Newt Gingrich is apparently familiar with that technique. What else can explain the excuses he gave for having been unfaithful to two sick wives? It seems his infidelity was “partially driven by how passionately [he] felt about this country” and the fact that he “worked far too hard.”
So, you ready to hire him for the next White House opening? What about dog catcher?
Newt’s Fishy Excuses
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Newt has an oddball excuse
For something that’s close to abuse:
Abandoning wives
Who were ill just derives
From his working too hard? How obtuse!
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Tags: Election Humor, Excuses Humor, Infidelity, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor, Presidential Election, White House
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Excuses Satire, Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 8th, 2011
I almost always disagree with George Will. So it pains me to say this, but George Will is right. I’m referring, of course, to Will’s column lamenting the Republican 2012 presidential prospects — more specifically, the “vibrations of weirdness emanating from people associated with the party.” He illustrates his column with recent Mike Huckabee and Newt Gingrich shenanigans. And he doesn’t sound all that thrilled with the rest of the Republican pack.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
Weirdness from George Will
By Madeleine Begun Kane
George Will wrote a column with bite
On the GOP president fight.
He finds weirdness within
The candidate din.
Had to happen one day — Will is right.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, George Will, GOP Humor, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Election, Republican Candidates, Republican Weirdness
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mike Huckabee, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »
Thursday, March 3rd, 2011
Oh goody — Newt Gingrich is exploring the possibility of maybe, conceivably running for president. Either that, or it’s yet another of his book publicity stunts:
Run, Newt, Run! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, I don’t care if you run—
Changed my mind — a Newt run would be fun.
Your divorces and scams
And your ethical jams—
I can’t wait to see just how they’re spun.
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Election Limerick, Newt Gingrich, Presidential Campaign Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Thursday, August 19th, 2010
Poor Newt Gingrich! Periodically, he starts feeling neglected. So he begins making noise about running for president, in order to drum up media attention.
This usually turns out to be more about peddling books than making it into the Oval Office. But this time Pat Buchanan thinks Newt is serious. Unfortunately for Newt, Buchanan also thinks Newt’s gone off the deep end with his so-called “Ground Zero Mosque” remarks:
This week, disgraced former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R), hoping to make the case against the proposed Park51 community center, compared Muslim Americans to Nazis. On MSNBC yesterday, Pat Buchanan — yes Pat Buchanan — said Gingrich went too far.
Now being too wingnutty for Pat Buchanan is no mean feat:
It’s “absurd,” said Buchanan. “There is no valid comparison there.”
Buchanan also called Gingrich a “political opportunist” who’s trying to be “more controversial than Sarah Palin,” who would be his potential primary challenger in the 2012 presidential election.
That brings me to my latest limerick:
The ambitious Republican Newt
Once was Speaker, but then got the boot.
He so longs to be Prez
That he willingly says
Stuff Buchanan thinks mad. What a hoot!
Related Posts: Newt’s Bilingual Newspeak, Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks, and Refudiating Sarah
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Media Humor, Newt Gingrich, Pat Buchanan, Presidential Election, Sarah Palin, Talking Heads
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, White House, Wingnuts | 9 Comments »
