Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)
Confessed serial adulterer Newt Gingrich has taken the Family Leader no-adultery pledge, which includes this statement: “I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to my spouse and respect for the marital bonds of others.”
Apparently, the following limerick was stricken from an earlier draft:
Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
No adult’ry for me, pledges Newt.
I’ve given my cheating the boot.
I’ve confessed and repented.
My soul’s reinvented.
And I can’t get it up, so it’s moot.
Tags: Adultery Humor, Campaign Satire, Defense Of Marriage Act, Election Humor, Family Leader Pledge, Marriage Satire, Newt Gingrich, Religion Humor
By any chance, Madeleine, are you related to a Harry and Ruth Begun, who lived across the street from me in Spring Valley, NY? They certainly were nice people!
Walter, not so far as I know. But if they have Russian Jews for ancestors, it’s always possible. :)
Probably the only reason the Newtmeister is faithful to #3. We know what she likes…jewelery.
This was in an email from Alan Grayson:
“Newt Gingrich is the Emily Litella of politics.
Not exactly what we are looking for in a President.
How can I put this politely? Newt is not astute. Newt’s grasp of things is minute. Newt’s credibility is in disrepute. What Newt says in not hard to refute. When it comes to understanding what goes on, Newt is not acute. When Newt is talking, the truth is often lost enroute.
In fact, if the consequences of a Presidential election were not so serious, you could say that Newt is a hoot, to boot. Unintentionally funny, but still funny.
(Please note that I did not call Newt a crazy old coot, even though that rhymes.)”
LOL, Kathy! Good point Hansi. :)
Great!
A fine leadoff to #jonswift2011.
Lovely work. I’ve always felt that the limerick is the highest form of poetry. Especially when that poetry involves sex and politics. Well done.
Splendid. Of all the plausible things written about the Newtster, that hasn’t been one of them. Until now!
Haiku
Salamander Newt
Gave his “true love” Tiffany;
Others got the boot.
Thanks so much everyone for your kind comments and thanks John Jackson for your haiku!
Came here via the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup and loved the limerick!
Thanks so much, sairarias!