Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)

Confessed serial adulterer Newt Gingrich has taken the Family Leader no-adultery pledge, which includes this statement: “I also pledge to uphold the institution of marriage through personal fidelity to my spouse and respect for the marital bonds of others.”

Apparently, the following limerick was stricken from an earlier draft:

Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

No adult’ry for me, pledges Newt.
I’ve given my cheating the boot.
I’ve confessed and repented.
My soul’s reinvented.
And I can’t get it up, so it’s moot.

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12 Responses to “Newt’s Pledge (Limerick)”

  1. Walter Lipman says:

    By any chance, Madeleine, are you related to a Harry and Ruth Begun, who lived across the street from me in Spring Valley, NY? They certainly were nice people!

  2. madkane says:

    Walter, not so far as I know. But if they have Russian Jews for ancestors, it’s always possible. :)

  3. hansi says:

    Probably the only reason the Newtmeister is faithful to #3. We know what she likes…jewelery.

  4. Kathy El-Assal says:

    This was in an email from Alan Grayson:
    “Newt Gingrich is the Emily Litella of politics.
    Not exactly what we are looking for in a President.
    How can I put this politely? Newt is not astute. Newt’s grasp of things is minute. Newt’s credibility is in disrepute. What Newt says in not hard to refute. When it comes to understanding what goes on, Newt is not acute. When Newt is talking, the truth is often lost enroute.
    In fact, if the consequences of a Presidential election were not so serious, you could say that Newt is a hoot, to boot. Unintentionally funny, but still funny.
    (Please note that I did not call Newt a crazy old coot, even though that rhymes.)”

  5. madkane says:

    LOL, Kathy! Good point Hansi. :)

  6. bjkeefe says:


    A fine leadoff to #jonswift2011.

  7. Aramis says:

    Lovely work. I’ve always felt that the limerick is the highest form of poetry. Especially when that poetry involves sex and politics. Well done.

  8. Mr. Wonderful says:

    Splendid. Of all the plausible things written about the Newtster, that hasn’t been one of them. Until now!

  9. john jackson says:


    Salamander Newt
    Gave his “true love” Tiffany;
    Others got the boot.

  10. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind comments and thanks John Jackson for your haiku!

  11. sairarias says:

    Came here via the Jon Swift Memorial Roundup and loved the limerick!

  12. madkane says:

    Thanks so much, sairarias!