Posts Tagged ‘Media Humor’

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.

Why?

1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.

2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.

Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.

He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.

Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.

In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.

Media Gets A Well-Deserved Hand Slap from FBI (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 17th, 2013

It’s pathetic how many respected news outlets published false reports today of an arrest in the Boston Marathon bombings.

Inaccurate Arrest Reports Need To Be Arrested (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear news outlets, use some restraint:
Stop reporting arrests, when there ain’t.
Publish news, and NOT litter.
You’re far worse than Twitter,
And your need to be first leaves a taint.

Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Among the many lies told about Obama, is the well-debunked myth that he’s “lazy.” Sorry Roger Ailes, but you’re apparently confusing Obama with his predecessor.

Limerick Ode To Roger Ailes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Roger Ailes says Obama is “lazy.”
Dear Roger, your memory’s hazy:
He’s vacationed way less
Than the fellow whose mess
He’s been fixing. You’re racist, or crazy.

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Michelle Obama addressed the burning question of her bangs on the Rachael Ray Show:

“This is my midlife crisis, the bangs. I couldn’t get a sports car,” she told Ray about the inspiration for her trendy new look. “They won’t let me bungee jump. So instead, I cut my bangs.”

“Midlife Crisis” FLOTUS-Style (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“How dare you get bangs,” they harangue.
Michelle laughs at the Sturm and the Drang:
Bungee jumping was out.
So’s a sports car, no doubt.
So she changed up her “do” with a bang.

Open Limerick To The Media

Monday, February 11th, 2013

As Obama’s State of the Union address draws nearer, the press (thanks to GOP prodding) has become obsessed with one question: Why the focus on a liberal agenda, instead of jobs and the economy?

Open Limerick To The Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Where’s your focus on jobs?” asks the press,
As Obama contends with a mess
Of issues galore,
Cuz his job at its core
Is to many dilemmas address.

So dear media, try this new task:
Press Republicans: Tough questions ask!
Like “Just what have THEY done
About jobs. Name just one
Thing they do besides block, bitch, and bask.”

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

The housecleaning over at Fox News didn’t stop with Sarah Palin: Dick Morris has been cast out, as well.

That’s ONE Dick Gone (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Say goodbye to the Dick Morris snarl.
Dick (like Palin) can no longer gnarl
All his poisonous spews,
Perched at Fox Cable News.
But alas, Fox is still keeping Karl.

Trumped Up Lawsuit (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 5th, 2013

You don’t have to be a “recovering lawyer” like me to know that such a lawsuit would be frivolous:

During a guest appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last month, Maher quipped that Trump must be “the spawn of his mother having sex with an orangutan” (Exhibit A: his orange hair). In a riff off of Trump’s own offer to give $5 million to the charity of Barack Obama’s choice if the President released his college paperwork, Maher said he would do the same for Trump if the real estate mogul supplied proof that he is not descended from an ape.

Trump, who apparently was able to prove he wasn’t fathered by an orangutan, has announced on Fox & Friends that he’s suing for the $5 million.

Trumped Up Lawsuit (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who I’d rather not mention
Is relentlessly seeking attention:
With his Birther schtick stale,
He is desp’rate to nail
Lots of cov’rage through lawsuit dissension.

Ousted Pundits (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Earlier today, I posted about Karl Rove and Dick Morris being benched by Fox News. I couldn’t resist writing another limerick on the topic:

Ousted Pundits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Morris and Rove, what a blow:
Fox has noticed you ain’t “in the know.”
Special leave is now needed
Before we are treated
To blowhards like you on a show.

Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2012

Apparently, Karl Rove’s election night histrionics pushed Roger Ailes too far. Rove’s been benched.

…Ailes has issued a new directive to his staff: He wants the faces associated with the election off the air — for now. For Karl Rove and Dick Morris — a pair of pundits perhaps most closely aligned with Fox’s anti-Obama campaign — Ailes’s orders mean new rules. Ailes’s deputy, Fox News programming chief Bill Shine, has sent out orders mandating that producers must get permission before booking Rove or Morris.

Karl Rove’s Ailing Punditry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Roger Ailes appears sick of Rove’s failin’
To get anything right, so he’s bailin’:
Fox News has been told
Not to book that old scold.
But alas, Fox still carries Ms. Palin.

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012

Dear Members Of The Media:

When a Republican refuses to consider any tax rate hike whatsoever … even for millionaires and billionaires … that’s an extremist position. So it would be nice if you’d stop acting as if the few Republicans claiming sudden independence from Grover Norquist’s tax pledge are moderates, when they’re still refusing to consider any rate hikes.

To put it another way, a slight compromise in one’s extremism is still extremism:

The way the whole “fiscal cliff” thing (itself a contrivance based on the Republican view that expiration of the Bush tax cuts and imposition of defense spending cuts would be an apocalyptic development) is being discussed in the MSM is a depressing vindication of the huge strategic advantages of partisan extremism. If you are crazy enough for a while, then agreeing to be slightly less crazy looks statesmanlike.

Open Limerick To The Mainstream Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The press is again just a dupe
In the make-believe compromise loop:
A mere marginal move
By extremists can’t prove
That they’re aught but a lunatic group.

The Press Laid Bare (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

I’ve been trying to ignore the David Petraeus, John Allen, Jill Kelley, Paula Broadwell, shirtless FBI agent brouhaha. But it’s really hard to avoid.

The Press Laid Bare (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Juicy emails! Illicit affair!
FBI guy whose chest is quite bare!
In gen’ral the press,
Now bored with our mess,
Prefers fare with a sexual flair.

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

After last year’s Politifact “Lie of the Year” debacle, I’ve been trying to just ignore Politifact’s Truth-O-Meter fakery.

But Politifact is to “truth” what Fox News is to “fair and balanced,” and it does a tremendous amount of damage. Here’s Scott Lemieux on Politifact’s latest just-pretend truth-telling regarding Harry Reid’s claim that he was told Romney didn’t pay taxes for ten years:

Once again, [Politifact has] awarded a “pants on fire” award, in this case to Harry Reid, despite providing no evidence whatsoever that Reid lied. Here’s the problem:

“Many readers asked us to put Reid’s claim to the Truth-O-Meter. We conclude that Reid, despite repeating the claim on at least two occasions, has not produced any solid evidence it is true.”

This does not, in fact, constitute a “lie.” If it is, then Romney has told “pants on fire” lies about what he’s paid in taxes in the years we don’t have returns released for as well. And PolitiFact is double-pants-on-fire-with-an-additional-Pinocchio lying, since they haven’t provided the slightest evidence that Reid wasn’t told by someone that Romney hasn’t paid taxes. As always, PolitiFact simply doesn’t understand what facts and lies are, which is kind of a problem when you purport to be a fact-checker.

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politifact, kindly stop lying.
Though you claim to check facts, I’m not buying.
You pretend to the role
Of a fact-checking soul,
But it’s pro-Romney lies you’re supplying.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Mitt Romney’s image-bolstering trip to Great Britain, Israel, and Poland was jam-packed with gaffes. Yet according to Mitt, none of this is his fault: The biased media’s to blame.

But as Maddowblog’s Steve Benen puts it:

…it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he insulted the British; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he misquoted the Australian finance minister; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his campaign kinda sorta gave the green light on a unilateral strike on Iran; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he used borderline-racist language at his Israeli fundraiser; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he praised a socialized health care system he claims to abhor; and it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his press secretary said, “Kiss my ass. This is a Holy site.”

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney’s big trip. Oy Gevalt!
A tri-country gaffe-filled assault:
Poland, Israel, Great Britain—
Still reeling from Mitten.
But of course it’s the “media’s fault.”

UPDATE: Cool news! KPCC’s Patt Morrison announced the results of her political limerick contest on her show and here. The two winning limericks are the one I posted above and one by Mason Kroll.

Running-Mate Rumblings (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

A VEEP pick this early in the campaign would be very unusual. Yet the media is packed with rumors saying Romney’s VP announcement is imminent. Gee … I wonder just who’s feeding those rumors.

Running-Mate Rumblings (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a rumor conveyed with a swoon:
Romney ‘s VEEP pick may come very soon.
Mitt is desp’rate for eyes
On NOT-Bain: No surprise
That the news now is VEEP-gossip strewn.

*****

Mitt Romney, on his post-February 1999 affairs:

I did not have corporeal relations with that company, Bain Capital!

Jonah Goldberg’s Dust Cover Dustup (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 9th, 2012

Remember Jonah Goldberg? The fellow whose pundit career got a huge boost from his mommy Lucianne Goldberg’s role in the Bill Clinton impeachment.

Well, he’s out with a new liberal-bashing book. I wouldn’t even mention it, but for the amusing dustup over its dust cover:

On the dust jacket of his new book, “The Tyranny of Clichés: How Liberals Cheat in the War of Ideas,” best-selling conservative author and commentator Jonah Goldberg is described as having “twice been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.”

In fact, as Goldberg acknowledged on Tuesday, he has never been a Pulitzer nominee, but is merely one of thousands of entrants.

What’s surprising in Goldberg’s case is that he has been called out for the same résumé padding before, when his previous book was published.

Jonah Goldberg’s Dust Cover Dustup (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Jonah Goldberg has written a book
Claiming liberals cheat, as its hook.
Check its dust jacket. Why?
To laugh at this lie:
Nominee for two Pulitzers? Schnook!

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Newt Gingrich is going to be very lonely on the campaign trail: He just lost his last two embedded print reporters.

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Gingrich, his embeds have fled.
Print journos won’t follow his tread.
Those so-called “elites”
Have found far better beats.
Were he prez he’d say, “Off with their head.”

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

I was glad to read that the Rush Limbaugh ad boycott is still going strong.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush’s national ads are suspended.
Will his wingnutty program be ended?
Though we don’t know for sure,
I’ll bet there’s no cure—
That his rep simply can not be mended.

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh)

Political Spam of the Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Political Spam of the Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Stand by Rush,” shrieks the mail in my box,
Which rails against Rush’s “hard knocks.”
But I don’t give a damn
About GOP spam.
They must think that I like to watch Fox.

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh)

Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Super Tuesday’s arrived at long last.
Will Mitt’s wins be decisively vast?
Will his delegate count
Impressively mount,
Thereby ending the press fun too fast?

Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh

Monday, March 5th, 2012

After decades of misogyny, talk radio bully Rush Limbaugh is finally paying a bit of a price: Advertisers are fleeing, and Republican pols, who previously bowed down to him, are publicly (albeit mildly) criticizing him. Rush was even forced to give a just-pretend apology to his latest target, Sandra Fluke:

Recently, [Rush Limbaugh] made himself and the political right look ridiculous by verbally abusing Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown University law student who tried to testify before Congress about the cost of birth control.

Mr. Limbaugh twisted Ms. Fluke’s comments beyond recognition. In her statement (now posted on YouTube), Ms. Fluke drew attention to a friend who was prescribed birth control pills for cancer treatment, and had to pay for the treatment out of pocket. She said nothing whatsoever about her own sex life, or about her friend’s sex life.

But in Mr. Limbaugh’s propaganda chamber, her testimony became a declaration of sexual promiscuity. He accused her of expecting taxpayers to pay her to have sex, and suggested that she post videos of herself having sex on the Internet. He called her a “slut” and a “prostitute” and said she was “round heeled.”

Career-ending? I doubt it. In fact, Limbaugh remains an inspiration to many fellow bullies. And there’s even a Rally For Rush movement afoot.

Nevertheless, the movement against Rush is a step in the right direction. And this wingnut radio spectacle sure is fun to behold.

Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A rebuke for Rush Limbaugh at last,
As his smears leave good people aghast.
He’s lost ads — it’s no fluke —
Even managed to spook
Those who always sucked up in the past.