Archive for the ‘Legal & Lawyer Humor’ Category
Sunday, May 15th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STAY at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to SCIENCE, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best science-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 29, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, May 28, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A litigant seeking a stay
Of an order was told “There’s no way
That you’re getting relief.
You’ve no grounds for your beef,
So the meat of this order is NAY!”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Judge Humor, Lawsuit Humor, Lawsuit Limerick, Lawyers, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Litigation Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 68 Comments »
Saturday, April 16th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SEAL or CONCEAL at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FRIENDSHIP, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FRIENDSHIP-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on May 1, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 30, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
We’re not buying your bid to conceal
Your role in the heist, so no deal.
You should have been straight.
Now your lies seal your fate.
We can prove you were wielding the wheel.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 124 Comments »
Friday, March 25th, 2016
Today’s Crazy Headline of the Day deserves a limerick.
“Kindergarten play gets broken up by police after parents brawl over best seats.”
Most brawling takes place on the street
And in bars, but some cops on the beat
Had to break up a fight
At a school play one night:
Parents fighting to get the best seat.
Tags: Brawling Humor, Cops & Police, Education & School Humor, Elementary School, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Parenting Humor, Parents, School Plays
Posted in Crime & Punishment Humor, Education & School Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Parenting Humor, Police Humor | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 9th, 2016
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using PALE or PAIL or IMPALE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write a themed limerick related to DOGS and/or CATS, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best dog and/or cat-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on January 24th, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, January 23, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A maritime lawyer from Yale
Feels his int’rest in law start to pale.
He’s filled with regret,
For he’s drowning in debt–
So at sea in his field, he can’t bail.
Please feel free to write your own limerick(s) using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Debt Humor, Law Humor, Lawyers, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Maritime Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 137 Comments »
Sunday, November 8th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SNIPE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
Give me substance! Do NOT type up tripe,
Said the law prof, who’d frequently snipe
At his class, which thus far
Set a very low bar
And seemed likely to stay true to type.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Law School, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Professors, Writing Prompts
Posted in Contests, Education & School Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms | 56 Comments »
Tuesday, October 20th, 2015
Here’s something that just doesn’t track:
Having sex with a tractor is whack!
But a Brit was arrested.
His crime? He molested
Deere rears, which must now watch their back.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Farm Equipment, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Sex Humor, Tractor Humor
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Is There Anything Men Won’t Have Sex With? (Limerick)
Saturday, June 27th, 2015
Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Ev’ry marriage has good and has bad.
It brings joy, but can drive you quite mad.
I’m so glad gays are free
Via legal decree
To wed — Just don’t marry in plaid.
Tags: Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Law Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Supreme Court
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Gay Marriage
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015
A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Madame Blanche filed a claim with the court,
A complaint for intentional tort:
“As plainly depicted
Distress was inflicted–
My old spouse should by now be quite mort.”
Tags: Crime & Punishment Humor, Law Humor, Litigation Humor, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Tort Verse
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | Comments Off on A Bugged Plaintiff (Limerick)
Sunday, May 3rd, 2015
Redundant Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I avow and aver and declare
And affirm and attest and I swear:
The redundancy flaw
From practicing law
Ain’t impairing my lim’ricks. So there!
Tags: Law Humor, Lawyer Humor, Lawyer Limerick, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Jargon, Legal Limerick, Redundancy Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Writing & Publishing Humor | 13 Comments »
Tuesday, April 21st, 2015
Here’s my double dactyl to celebrate John Mortimer’s birthday today. (Though he died back in 2009, I still have vivid memories of meeting and interviewing him for a profile I wrote for British Heritage Magazine way back in 1996. You can read my John Mortimer profile here.)
But back to my double dactyl:
Higgledy Piggledy
John Clifford Mortimer
Barrister, Author,
Rumpolian wit.
Bailey, his bailiwick
Prima-facetiously
He and his Horace sure
Loved to acquit.
Tags: Authors & Playwrights, Barristers, Brits, Death, Double Dactyls, Interviews, John Mortimer, Lawyers, Obit, Profiles, Writers
Posted in Authors & Playwrights, Books, Celebrity Humor, Double Dactyls, Interviews, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Public Figures | Comments Off on Double Dactyl For John Mortimer
Sunday, January 18th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who’d just made a pass…*
or
A fellow was trying to pass…*
or
I purchased an annual pass…*
or
A woman had hoped to surpass…*
*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)
Here’s my limerick:
Limerick Pass
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A stoner was trying to pass
Forged fifties to pay for a class.
He got caught and was jailed
And then tried to get bailed
With more fakes, so his ass is now grass.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 63 Comments »
Tuesday, January 13th, 2015
Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.
*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Class Actions, Exercise Humor, Lascivious Humor, Lecherous Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick Images, Litigation Humor, Yoga Humor, Yoga Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Education & School Humor, Exercise Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, October 8th, 2014
Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It’s “Lovable Lawyers Day.” Whee!
But this day isn’t greeted with glee.
It seems most people say:
“Love a Lawyer? No Way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
*****
Alternative Version for “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday in November)
“Love Your Lawyer Day” most will agree
Isn’t greeted with gusto or glee.
Many clients would say:
“Love my lawyer? No way!”
But what about ex-Esqs … like me?
Tags: Law Humor, Lawyers, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Legal Limerick, Lovable Lawyers Day, Love Your Lawyer Day, November Holidays, October Holidays, Odd Holidays
Posted in Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To “Lovable Lawyers Day” (October 8)
Saturday, October 4th, 2014
A “Really Big Shew” of A Crime (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A crisis had come to a head
And a torso and legs. Tears were shed,
Cuz some soon-to-be cons
Stole Ed Sullivan’s bronze.
But don’t fret — they’ve reclaimed AWOL Ed.
Yes, Ed Sullivan fans can breathe sighs of relief: “Los Angeles police have found the missing bronze statue of the renowned American TV personality, four days after it was stolen from the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences.”
Tags: Art Humor, Celebrity Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Ed Sullivan, Statues, Theft
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Celebrity Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on A “Really Big Shew” Of A Crime (Limerick)
Monday, August 18th, 2014
What sort of burglar sends stolen jewelry to a newspaper, complaining that the stuff he stole from a socialite turned out to be fake?
Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bad luck has befallen this snake,
Who’s upset by his jew’lry heist take!
His chagrin is immense
Cuz he called on his fence
And was told that his haul was all fake.
UPDATE: National Jewel Day is March 13th.
Tags: Jewelry Day, March Holidays, National Jewelry Day, Odd Holidays
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Crime & Punishment Humor, House & Home Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To A Petty Thief (Limerick)
Saturday, August 2nd, 2014
Open Limerick To Facebook Fanatics
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Facebook fanatics, I know
That an outage on Facebook’s a blow.
But a crisis that small
Doesn’t call for a call
To the cops. Grab a beer or Bordeaux.
(Inspired by the lunatics who called 911 lines Friday during Facebook’s half-hour outage.)
Tags: 911 Calls, Computer Humor, Cops & Police, Crime & Punishment Humor, Emergency Calls, Emergency Line Limerick, Facebook Humor, Lion Humor, Policeman Verse, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Computer Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Technology Humor, Telephone Humor | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Facebook Fanatics
Monday, July 14th, 2014
Limerick Ode To “Nude Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal likes to publicly doff
All her clothing, then pose to show off.
“It’s a strip search time-saver
I did you a favor,”
When jailed, she’ll transparently scoff.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, International Nude Day, July Holidays, Law Humor, Legal Limerick, Naked Limerick, National Nude Day, Nude Day, Nude Humor, Odd Holidays, World Nude Day
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Clothing Humor, Crime & Punishment Humor, Fashion Humor, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Happy “Nude Day!” (July 14)
