Certain media people are doing Rick Perry a huge favor by lowering the bar with tales of Perry being a lousy debater.
Limerick Ode to Rick “Bad Debater” Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When press people lower the bar,
They enable a pol to go far.
Exceed expectations,
Then get more ovations,
And become a political star.
I’m constantly running into Tenth Amendment states’ rights hypocrisy, most often concerning abortion rights and same sex marriage. Texas Governor Rick Perry is but the latest example: He’s now calling for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and abortion.
Limerick Ode To 10th Amendment Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Perry’s a fan of states’ rights:
10th amendment — he loves its delights.
But gay marriage? Abortion?
Please brace for contortion:
He’d smite them through federal fights.
Not only does Mitt Romney have a bad habit of flip-flopping on issues, but he appears afraid to pick a position on the key issue of the day — the debt ceiling. Does he embrace John Boehner’s debt ceiling plan? Nobody knows (except maybe Mitt’s hairdresser) because Romney refuses to commit:
Limerick Ode To Timid Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, it’s time to take heed:
The job of a leader’s to lead.
So for once be a man:
Do you back Boehner’s plan?
Not choosing’s a cowardly deed.
I’m looking forward to following Michele Bachmann’s just launched presidential campaign:
Mad Kane Welcomes Michele’s Mad Campaign (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Michele Bachmann announced she’s in play,
And I welcome Michele to the fray:
Her positions bizarre
Will most certainly mar
The GOP’s comeback foray.
This Jon Huntsman campaign launch blooper tickled me:
Every detail of Jon Huntsman’s long-awaited campaign launch was meticulously planned, except of course for one minor detail: the misspelling of the candidate’s name.
Members of the media were handed a press pass that read “John Huntsman for President” — adding an unnecessary H in the candidate’s first name.
Huntsman On The Hunt For The White House … And A Good Speller
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My task here — to track the inane,
Like this flub in Jon Huntsman’s campaign:
A press pass mistake —
“Jon” spelled “John” takes the cake
At a prez campaign launch speech. Insane!
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I’m delighted to have several of my limericks featured at Vox Frustati over at the Daily Kos. The fellow who does the reading has a wonderful voice and delivery, and there’s a transcript so you can read along.
If there’s one common theme about last night’s Republican Presidential debate it’s this: Tim Pawlenty blew it by blowing off an op (handed to him by CNN’s John King) to reprise his “Obamneycare” anti-Romney attack:
Tim Pawlenty,
a debater failed.
Asked about “Obamneycare,”
he simply bailed.
Limerick Ode To Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s some news that inspires a laugh:
Newt Gingrich has lost his main staff.
They quit him en masse.
(Do they think him an ass?)
Newt’s so peeved, he may shoot a giraffe.
UPDATE: Was my “giraffe” reference too obscure? For those who don’t know what it refers to, just follow the link in the last line of my limerick.
Presidential wannabe Jon Huntsman’s pandering is rather impressive, especially his gushing about Paul Ryan’s Medicare Demolition Plan in the Wall Street Journal:
I admire Congressman Paul Ryan’s honest attempt to save Medicare. Those who disagree with his approach incur a moral responsibility to propose reforms that would ensure Medicare’s ability to meet its responsibilities to retirees without imposing an unaffordable tax burden on future generations of Americans.
Limerick Ode To Jon Huntsman
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Take a gander at Huntsman’s non-candor,
As he pulls off a Paul Ryan pander.
Seems he’ll say what it takes
In the GOP stakes
To become U.S. prez/chief commander.
Newt Gingrich is still out on his I didn’t say what I said tour. He even tried to get back in Rush Limbaugh’s good graces by claiming his Meet The Press Paul Ryan plan comments had nothing to do with Paul Ryan or his plan.
Open Limerick To Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, campaign’s over — fini!
I’ll admit it — I say this with glee.
You insulted Paul Ryan,
And nobody’s buyin’
Your stories — you’re no nominee.
(Lots more Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Newt Gingrich’s presidential campaign is imploding with breathtaking speed. So he’s earned himself yet another limerick:
Newt Already Needs A Reboot
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, you’ve imploded too fast.
And I fear that I’m rather aghast.
Cuz a drawn out campaign
Would sure entertain.
But you’ve screwed up too quickly to last.
(More Newt Gingrich limericks here)
Have you ever answered a “what’s your worst fault” question from a prospective employer by mentioning a positive trait?
Newt Gingrich is apparently familiar with that technique. What else can explain the excuses he gave for having been unfaithful to two sick wives? It seems his infidelity was “partially driven by how passionately [he] felt about this country” and the fact that he “worked far too hard.”
So, you ready to hire him for the next White House opening? What about dog catcher?
Newt’s Fishy Excuses
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mr. Newt has an oddball excuse
For something that’s close to abuse:
Abandoning wives
Who were ill just derives
From his working too hard? How obtuse!
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Oh goody — Newt Gingrich is exploring the possibility of maybe, conceivably running for president. Either that, or it’s yet another of his book publicity stunts:
Run, Newt, Run! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Newt, I don’t care if you run—
Changed my mind — a Newt run would be fun.
Your divorces and scams
And your ethical jams—
I can’t wait to see just how they’re spun.
(More Newt Gingrich humor here.)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her non-political humor blog, or stop by her home page.
