Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:
Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.
Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!
Tags: Constitution, Dissent, Obama, Reagan Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Secession, Texas Humor, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Ronald Reagan, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either.
Republican Road To Remedial Math (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The purported Republican budget
Has no numbers, so how can we judge it?
There’s no dollars or sense
In this PR offense.
It appears they decided to fudge it.
Tags: Budget, GOP, PR, Remedial Math, Republicans Humor
Posted in Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box:
Dear Dick Cheney, return to your cave.
The GOP’s health is quite grave,
And you’re making things worse.
Write a book or some verse
Till such time as you learn to behave.
Tags: Cheney, GOP, Republicans Humor
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 10 Comments »
Monday, March 16th, 2009
The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal.
Perino actually said Bush should get some credit for last week’s stock market upswing. And she falsely claimed for the gazillionth time that Bush inherited a recession from Bill Clinton.
U.S. economy as of January 20, 2001. U.S. economy as of January 20, 2009. Exactly the same, right?
Sigh… It’s time for a limerick:
Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Blame Barack when the stock market drops.
When it rises say Bush deserves props.
That’s Perino’s approach.
(Bush deserves no reproach.)
Yes, at double talk Dana is tops.
Tags: Ari Fleischer, Bill Clinton, Bush, CSPAN, Dana Perino, Economy, Inauguration, Media, Obama, Recession, Spinmeister, Stock Market, Washington Journal
Posted in Barack Obama, Dana Perino, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Spin Humor, Stock Market Humor, Washington, White House | 6 Comments »
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research.
Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s distracted. His plate
Is too full,” his detractors berate.
“His attention’s dispersed.
Put economy first.”
The problem is nothing can wait.
But Republicans don’t like his plans
And they often use indirect pans.
So research and health
Don’t relate to our wealth?
Boosting science and health — they ain’t fans.
Tags: Distraction, Economy, Full Plate, GOP, Health Care, Obama, Republicans Humor, Science Humor, Science Research, Stem Cells
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Science Verse | Comments Off on Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. And it’s not just his humiliating apology to Rush Limbaugh, his mismanagement of the RNC, and a pair of ethics issues:
In just a month on the job, Steele has insisted that government jobs aren’t real jobs. He’s raised the specter of undermining moderate Republican incumbents. He’s given multiple interviews in which he’s shown humiliating confusion about the basics of public policy. His efforts to make the Republicans “off the hook” and “beyond cutting edge” are already the subject of widespread ridicule. The man, by all appearances, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what he’s doing.
So what’s my take on all this? I think Michael Steele is perfect for the job:
Steele-Buyers’ Remorse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are Republicans starting to feel
That they erred when the named Michael Steele
As the RNC head?
(Maybe Limbaugh instead?)
Funny … Dems think that Steele is ideal.
Tags: Ethics, Limbaugh, Republicans Humor, RNC, Steele
Posted in GOP Humor, Michael Steele, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Washington | Comments Off on Steele-Buyers’ Remorse
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
Who’s in charge of the GOP? Based on all the groveling and Limbaugh-tuckus-licking, it’s surely the guy with “talent on loan from God” … even though God foreclosed over a decade ago.
And that brings me to my latest song parody … with apologies to Walt Disney, the founder of my alma mater:
Ode To GOP Grovelers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Who’s the leader of the clubby, selfish GOP?
Steele or Rush?
(Newt won’t hush.)
They’re all the same to me.
Mickey mouse,
Mickey mouse.
How ever do they hold their heads up high?
High, high, high.
Each presumptive leader shares a callous policy.
Commonweal’s
Naught to Steele’s
And Limbaugh’s GOP.
UPDATE: The DCCC has a good sense of humor. You’re sure to have fun with its Republican Apology Machine.
Tags: Apology, Cal Arts, Gingrich, GOP, Limbaugh, Media, Mickey Mouse, Radio, Republicans Humor, Song Parody, Steele, Walt Disney
Posted in GOP Humor, Media Satire, Michael Steele, Newt Gingrich Humor, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Song Parodies | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 28th, 2009
“The great irony of where we are today is that we had a Bush-Obama big-spending program that was bipartisan in its nature. We got big spending under Bush, now we’ve got big spending under Obama.” (Newt Gingrich as quoted by the New York Times)
Funny, but I could have sworn that Dick Cheney was Bush’s Veep.
Tags: Budget, Bush, Cheney, CPAC, Economy, Gingrich, GOP, Hypocrisy, Obama, Republicans Humor
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Quote Of The Day, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Quote of the Day
Thursday, February 26th, 2009
Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) spouted these enlightening remarks on C-SPAN today:
I don’t think we can figure out how to outlaw recessions any more than we can outlaw tornadoes or outlaw hurricanes. … Economic growth has never gone in one straight line up. It goes in a zigzag line. It’s a part of freedom. Sometimes freedom can be messy. Sometimes freedom has reversals. But it certainly beats the alternative.
Just three questions for Rep. Hensarling:
1. Are non-democracies recession-proof?
2. Are you trying to make Governor Jindal look insightful?
3. If we fight to end the recession, do the terrorists win?
Oh, and please tell me who exactly is trying to outlaw recessions. Because that phantom person may just be the only living being who out-idiots Rep. Hensarling.
Tags: Don Rumsfeld, Economy, Freedom, Jeb Hensarling, Jindal, Recession, Terrorists
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Rep. Hensarling Channels Rumsfeld
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
I hate to pile on to the Bobby-Jindal-channeled-Kenneth-the-Page assault. Okay I lied … I just love to pile on.
Jindal’s GOP response last night was a gift to Democrats in terms of both style and content. (I’ll leave it to others like Buzzflash to analyze the substance of Bobby Jindal’s speech.)
Getting back to style, the similarity between Jack McBrayer’s “Kenneth the Page” character on NBC’s “30 Rock” and Jindal’s sing-song, sixth-grader-talking-to-third-graders response to Obama’s speech before Congress last night is downright weird.
And that’s why my latest limerick poses the question that everybody’s surely asking right now: Are “Kenneth the Page” and Bobby Jindal related?
Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Bobby, is Kenneth your twin?
From your voices, I’d swear you were kin.
You’re the GOP’s best?
Then the GOP’s quest
For the White House is done — you can’t win.
Tags: 30 Rock, Bobby Jindal, Congress Humor, GOP, Governors, Jack McBrayer, Kenneth The Page, Louisiana, NBC, Obama, Republicans Humor, Television
Posted in Campaign Humor, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Ode To Bobby “Kenneth the Page” Jindal
Friday, February 13th, 2009
I can’t decide whether Bret Stephens is nuts or just a really bad satirist.
I’m referring to his Wall Street Journal column entitled Obama’s Charm Isn’t Working Wonders Abroad, in which he recites a litany of foreign policy problems and wonders why Obama hasn’t solved them all yet. After all, it’s been twenty-one whole days!
Both Steve Benen and Steve M. assume Stephens suffers from unrealistic expectations.
But I’m wondering whether Stephens is trying to pass sarcasm off as satire.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Obama Hasn’t Fixed Everything Yet? What’s Taking Him So Long?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Poor Bret is beginning to fret
Cuz our enemies still are a threat.
And Barack (he critiques)
Has been prez three whole weeks.
If this isn’t a spoof, get a net!
Tags: Bret Stephens, Enemies, Expectations, Foreign Policy, Journalism, Media, Obama, Sarcasm, Satire, Wall Street Journal
Posted in Barack Obama, Foreign Policy, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, February 9th, 2009
I never thought Barack Obama’s post-partisan unity shtick would work. So I’m not surprised that no matter how much Obama reaches out to Republicans, they abuse the privilege.
So, is Obama finally wising up? The good news is he’s beginning to make more aggressive use of the presidential bully pulpit to promote the fiscal stimulus bill.
On the other hand, Obama seems to be in triangulation mode, apparently buying into GOP “centrists'” proposed tax and spending cuts.
Somebody please clue the President into this fundamental precept:
Give Republicans an inch and they’ll take you — hard.
Tags: Aphorisms, Bipartisanship, Bully Pulpit, GOP Humor, Negotiations, Obama, Republicans Humor, Stimulus Bill
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mad Thoughts, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Twisted Aphorisms | 2 Comments »
Sunday, February 8th, 2009
Are Republicans insane? Their bombastic rants and stimulus bill obstructionism could easily lead to that conclusion.
But I think there’s a more basic explanation. Republicans are simply being consistent with their long-held GOP credo:
If at first you don’t succeed, make sure your successors don’t either.
Tags: Aphorisms, GOP, Obstructionism, Republicans Humor, Stimulus Bill
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Legislation Humor, Mad Thoughts, Political Commentary, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor, Twisted Aphorisms | Comments Off on Mad Thought Of The Day
Tuesday, January 13th, 2009
Back in 2004 I summed up George Bush’s first term in my Alpha Politics. So it seems only appropriate to do the same for the Bush-Cheney second term. (Most of the links point to one of my satirical posts on the topic.)
A is for Jack Abramoff who’s big in pay-to-play.
B’s for greedy bankers who have fleeced the USA.
C is for Sen. Craig who isn’t gay, except in bed.
D is for democracy which Dubya hasn’t spread.
E’s for the economy which George and Dick destroyed.
F’s for filibuster. You need merely say the “woid”.
G’s for Giuliani who is 9-1-1 obsessed.
H is for hypocrisy — the right-wing does it best.
I is for impeachment which Bush/Cheney sure deserve.
J’s for Joe The Plumber — right-wing symbol. What a nerve!
K is for Ms. Kennedy, the would-be New York Sen.
L is for Joe Lieberman, the worst of traitor men.
M’s for John McCain who zigged and zagged till he was hoarse.
N is for Ralph Nader who is still without remorse.
O is for O’Reilly — shuts up those who disagree.
P is for Gov. Palin who has “saved” the GOP.
Q is for the air quotes placed by John on mother’s “health.”
R is for recession — say goodbye to all your wealth.
S is for Gov. Spitzer. Prostitution did him in.
T is for the terrorists, now savoring their win.
U is for the USA, on life support right now.
V is for the victor. Prez Obama take a bow.
W’s for the White House left by Bush in disarray.
X is for the X’ing out of Bush regs any day.
Y’s for “Yes, we can,” Barack Obama’s sanguine creed.
And Z’s for right-wing zealots who methinks are off their feed.
Tags: Bush Administration, Dick Cheney Humor, George Bush Satire, McCain Campaign, Obama Verse, White House
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 10 Comments »
Wednesday, October 29th, 2008
Whenever John McCain is asked about Sarah Palin’s qualifications, he falls back on the paternal-sounding (and condescending) “I couldn’t be more proud” of Palin response. But something tells me he doesn’t use the word “proud” in private:
McCain & Palin: The Not Ready For Prime Time Duo
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a ticket that can’t get along
Cuz the chemistry’s totally wrong.
John may claim to be proud
Of Gov. Palin out loud.
But his eyes say, “Give Sarah the gong!”
Tags: Campaign, Election, GOP, Humor, Limericks, McCain, Palin, Presidential, Prime Time, Republicans Humor, Satire, Verse
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Thursday, October 23rd, 2008
After seeing Sarah Palin prance around in so much stylish, pricey-looking apparel, I wrongly assumed Alaska was so sort of fashion Mecca. But sorry, Alaska. It turns out that Palin’s $150K wardrobe hails from Saks Fifth Avenue in St. Louis and New York and Neiman Marcus in Minneapolis, all courtesy of the RNC and personal shopper Jeff Larson.
So here’s what I want to know: Does John McCain’s tax plan provide a $150K tax credit for personal shoppers?
Where’s My Personal Shopper?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Palin, you’re taking some heat
For your clothing which, granted, is neat.
But with budgets austere
Why wear clothing so dear?
And just who are you calling elite?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Elite, Governor Palin, Jeff Larson, Neiman Marcus, Personal Shopper, Pricey Clothing, Republican National Committee, RNC, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sarah Palin Wardrobe, Senator McCain, Tax Credit
Posted in Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, RNC Humor, Sarah Palin, Tax & Budget Humor | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
What on earth is the matter with Republicans like Rep. Michelle Bachmann and Rep. Robin Hayes? Not only do they say insane things, but they deny saying them, as if recording devices had never been invented:
Is GOP Idiocy Real, Or Is It Memorex?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When Republicans get in a scrape,
Having said something bad their “escape”
Is to blithely deny
That they said it and lie.
Someone please tell these liars, there’s tape.
Tags: Dishonesty Humor, GOP Idiocy, GOP Lies, Liars, Memorex, Michele Bachmann, Recording Devices, Robin Hayes
Posted in Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse | 3 Comments »
Sunday, October 12th, 2008
A bipartisan legislative panel in Alaska finds Sarah Palin guilty of abusing her executive power. So is Palin contrite? Hahahahaha!
Actually, I’m find it tough to get my head around Palin’s response. (Unlike so many Republicans, I’ve never been any good at holding two contradictory positions at the same time.)
Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin this weekend disregarded an ethics investigator’s finding that she had abused her executive power as Alaska’s governor and instead embraced a second finding in the report to say that she had been cleared of wrongfully firing her state public safety commissioner. …
In a Saturday conference call with Alaska journalists, Palin said she was “pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing … any hint of any kind of unethical activity there.” She denounced the investigation, calling it “a partisan circus.” …
Okay, I’m not positive, but here’s what seems to be the McCain campaign’s official response to the Troopergate ethics violation report:
1) It exonerates her; and
2) If it hadn’t been an Obama-controlled hit job, it would have exonerated her.
My head hurts.
Sarah In Wonderland
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So what is Gov. Palin’s excuse
For the finding of power abuse?
She pretends it ain’t there,
While she claims it ain’t fair,
With the facts playing games, fast and loose.
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Alaska Ethics Violation, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Governor Palin, McCain Campaign, Presidential Election, Troopergate
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Commentary, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Sarah Palin | 1 Comment »
Thursday, October 9th, 2008
Team Of Liars
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The McCain/Palin team now is rife
With liars, including John’s wife.
So it’s surely no shock
They’re defaming Barack.
As McCain might say: John, get a life!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Cindy McCain, Defamation, Election Humor, Governor Palin, Obama Verse, Presidential Campaign Humor, Senator McCain
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sarah Palin | 8 Comments »
Rudy’s Family Values
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »