Archive for the ‘Gender Politics’ Category

This Spam’s An Abortion

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

I never thought I’d say this, but spam can be enlightening.

I’m referring to a recent spam flurry promoting home abortion kits. And we have Republicans to thank for this disturbing trend. After all, newly empowered Republicans have been targeting abortion rights in a big way. And at the state level they’ve been very successful at severely limiting women’s reproductive rights.

Who knew that when Republicans claimed to be pro-small business, they were talking about abortion kit scam artists?

That brings me to my latest limerick:

This Spam’s An Abortion
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A new (to me) flavor of scam
Came by email for gals in a jam.
Yes, a legal cascade
Against Roe versus Wade
Has inspired abortion kit spam.

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up

Monday, January 31st, 2011

In case you’ve been wondering what Sharron Angle’s been up to, I’ve got the answer: Senator Harry Reid’s former Republican challenger is giving speeches about makeup.

Yes, it’s hard to believe, but true. On January 21st, Angle spoke at a makeup convention in Las Vegas. Here’s how SeneGence International’s promotional material described Angle’s talk:

Sharron will be sharing her beauty and makeup challenges during the campaign and how she overcame them! She had confidence that she would look great with 14 -16 hour days & with numerous appearances daily… so can you!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Sharron Angle — You Can’t Make This Up
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I vowed that I never would mention
Sharon Angle again — gives me tension.
But I just can’t resist
Her last gig which I missed:
A speech at a makeup convention.

Harry Reid’s Not So Hot Remark

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

When it comes to sexism posing as a compliment, I try to cut Harry Reid’s generation some slack. But Senator Reid really ought to know better:

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had an unusual form of praise for New York’s junior senator, Kirsten Gillibrand, this morning at the fundraiser Mayor Bloomberg hosted for him at his townhouse – referring to her as “the hottest member” as she sat just a few feet away, according to three sources.

The comment prompted Gillibrand to turn red, according to the sources, and created a bit of stir among the small crowd there.

That leads me to my latest limerick:

Harry Reid’s Not So Hot Remark
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kirsten Gillibrand’s hot says Sen. Reid —
The Sen’s “hottest member,” indeed.
Now I know Harry’s old,
And I don’t mean to scold,
But that “compliment’s” sexist. Take heed.

Here’s more on subtle sexism, including my Gender At Work essay. (Gender at Work, under the name My Most Attractive Adversary, is the lead Gender Gap chapter essay in a pair of college textbooks by Gary Goshgarian: The Contemporary Reader and Readings For Today.)

Religion Hits Bottoms

Thursday, March 18th, 2010

Have you heard about the Bible-based Christian S & M cult? Of course, CDD (Christian Domestic Discipline) doesn’t consider itself an S & M cult, but it sure as hell sounds like one:

Just when I think I have seen it all, I stumble upon something called Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage, a rising trend in conservative Christian households. A CDD marriage, for the uninitiated, is “marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking.” And, of course, that one partner with authority is always the man…

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Religion Hits Bottoms
By Madeleine Begun Kane

CDD is an odd Christian fad
For punishing wives when they’re “bad.”
Is it weird? Just a smidgeon.
They call this religion:
Spousal ass spanking. Gals, you’ve been had.

Related Post:
I Won’t Graciously Submit To Mike Huckabee

Stewing Over Stupak

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

This feminist is furious over the abortion-coverage-banning Stupak Amendment to the House health care reform bill. And no, Stupak isn’t a Hyde Amendment-equivalent. It’s the Hyde Amendment on steroids.

I’ve never been a third party-proponent. But Stupak’s inclusion in the House bill shows such disregard and disdain for women’s reproductive rights, that a progressive, pro-choice third party is starting to sound very attractive.

I suppose I must rise out of my Stupak stupor and write a limerick:

Stewing Over Stupak
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Blue Dogs by using extortion
Have effectively outlawed abortion:
Turned the health reform bill
Into “pro-lifer” swill.
Must reverse this, or Democrats’ corps shun.

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans

Friday, October 9th, 2009

Thirty Senate Republicans voted to keep rape victims who work for defense contractors from having their day in court. How? By voting against an Al Franken-proposed amendment to the 2010 Defense Appropriations Bill that would withhold defense contracts from companies (like Dick Cheney’s KBR) “if they restrict their employees from taking workplace sexual assault, battery and discrimination cases to court.”

Franken was inspired to sponsor this amendment by the ordeal of Jamie Leigh Jones, who was gang-raped by her co-workers while working for Halliburton/KBR in Baghdad. A clause in Jones’ KBR employment contract made employer-friendly private arbitration her only recourse, precluding Jones from seeking justice in court.

I hope all those pro-rape Republicans (listed below my limerick) are proud of themselves:

Ode To Pro-Rape Republicans (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though Republicans yearn for support
From females, they’re bound to fall short:
Their position on rape
Is in criminal shape
Cuz they treat it like less than a tort.

Here’s the list of the thirty pro-rape Republican Senators:
Lamar Alexander (R-TN) John Barrasso (R-WY) Christopher Bond (R-MO) Sam Brownback (R-KS) Jim Bunning (R-KY) Richard Burr (R-NC) Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) Tom Coburn (R-OK) Thad Cochran (R-MS) Bob Corker (R-TN) John Cornyn (R-TX) Mike Crapo (R-ID) Jim DeMint (R-SC) John Ensign (R-NV) Michael Enzi (R-WY) Lindsey Graham (R-SC) Judd Gregg (R-NH) James Inhofe (R-OK) Johnny Isakson (R-GA) Mike Johanns (R-NE) Jon Kyl (R-AZ) John McCain (R-AZ) Mitch McConnell (R-KY) James Risch (R-ID) Pat Roberts (R-KS) Jeff Sessions (R-AL) Richard Shelby (R-AL) John Thune (R-SD) David Vitter (R-LA) Roger Wicker (R-MS)

Ode To The White House Fashion Police

Friday, August 21st, 2009

The White House fashion police are at it again: First Lady Michelle Obama was caught wearing shorts on her way to a Grand Canyon vacation! The horror!

Ode To The White House Fashion Police (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Once again I just can’t help but frown
At the journalists going to town:
“The First Lady wore shorts,”
Blare the breathless reports.
Please Michelle, when you hike wear a gown.

Related Post: Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone

Our Liberal Media (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Steve Benen points out the contrast between the coverage of two abortion-related polls:

In mid-May, Gallup released a poll that found 51% of Americans calling themselves “pro-life” and 42% “pro-choice.” It was the first time a majority of U.S. adults had identified themselves as pro-life since Gallup began asking the question. Last week, however, Gallup released a follow-up poll showing the pro-life lead evaporating, dropping from nine points to one, 47% to 46%.

The first poll got tons of coverage, while the second was largely ignored:

So, to review, Gallup results showing strong “pro-life” numbers are a huge story, even though the results were dubious. Gallup results showing weaker “pro-life” numbers are a non-story, even though the results made sense.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Our Liberal Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pro-lifer numbers are higher
Touted journos, their keyboards afire.
So why don’t they mention
The numbers’ descension?
So much for our liberal choir.

Not So Belle

Monday, June 15th, 2009

I tend to avoid embroilment in comment fights. But Sunday was an exception.

Over at Facebook (I’m at facebook.com/madkane, should you wish to befriend me) a George Stephanopoulos post had drawn some really crazed comments. The topic was the Sarah Palin / David Letterman brouhaha, and I couldn’t resist chiming in with this comment:

He was clearly referring to Palin’s unwed-mother/18 year old daughter, who apparently has become a spokesperson for abstinence and is in the public eye thanks to Palin’s actions. He apologized. Palin, instead of accepting his apology in a classy fashion, continues to distort and exploit what he said.

Nine minutes later an outraged woman named (I kid you not) Belle Blessing posted this over-the-top response:

Madelin, maybe you like perverts hanging out their tongues at your daughter or maybe you even offer her up to them. The majority of this American nation who still have their moral values in tack…don’t want the perverts giving second glance. The foundation that this country was founded on had higher moral values than letting the dirt bag over 50 population treat women and girls like sex slaves. The perverts should stick to passing toilet paper under the wall and picking up on other perverted men.

In an exercise of extreme self-control, I posted just this in response:

Dear Belle, I hope you and Sarah Palin will be very happy together. :)

Aren’t you impressed with my self-control?

Not so fast!

Twenty minutes later I just couldn’t help myself. Ms. Belle deserved a limerick, so I posted this:

There once was a woman named Belle,
Who believed I was destined for hell.
So self-righteous was she,
She condemned me with glee
And an arrogance no one could quell.

I feel much better now.

Rudy’s Family Values

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.

Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?

Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!

Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

I’d hoped that Maureen Dowd was all done with her Michelle Obama biceps obsession. But apparently not. In her latest column, Dowd insinuates that Michelle’s “sinewy arms” belong in the Oval.

Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Maureen, please I’m begging, enough!
Yes, the First Lady’s biceps are buff.
But I really don’t need
To constantly read
About “sinewy arms.” Stop the fluff!

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain

Thursday, October 16th, 2008

Sarcastic air-quotes around “health” in “health of the mother”? Who the hell uses sarcastic air-quotes anymore … let alone when referring to women’s health? Big mistake, Senator McCain!

Which reminds me — during last night’s debate I had a revelation about the gravitas-test versus the guy-you’d-enjoy-having-a-beer-with-test.  In this year’s election, gravitas-guy (Obama)  is also the fellow I’d enjoy having a beer with … if only I liked beer:

Ode To John “Air-Quotes” McCain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many voters ask:  Whose views are best,
As opposed to the drinking-pal test.
But whichever the measure,
Obama’s my pleasure.
McCain?  He’s a cranky old pest.

Dear John McCain: Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!

Thursday, September 4th, 2008

Dear John McCain:
 
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
 
Why am I, a liberal feminist, thanking you with such enthusiasm?  Because by naming Sarah Palin to be your running mate, you’ve turned my life around.
 
I mean (and I say this with all due respect) I could have sworn that Ms. Palin was as unqualified to be Veep as I am. Maybe even less qualified, since I’m a lawyer and she isn’t.
 
But it turns out I was wrong.  Why? Cuz she’s the Governor of Alaska, a state that’s really, really close to Russia. 

And, as I’ve learned from you and your current wife, proximity equals expertise.   Which means that Governor Palin’s already an expert on Russia.  And anything else she needs to know in the foreign policy department she’ll absorb by osmosis, simply by hanging out near your knees. 

Speaking selfishly (and who doesn’t?) here’s the coolest part of this whole osmosis thing: Without any additional schooling or training, I have the expertise to do a gazillion hard things I haven’t studied for even an hour.  For instance:
 
1. Heart surgery.  (A cardiac specialist lives two houses away, and we say “hi” at least twice a month.)
 
2. Gourmet cooking.  (My home’s within three blocks of over two dozen great restaurants.  From the smell alone, I’ve surely  picked up culinary chops.)
 
3. Olympic swimming.  (I live in Bayside.  Need I say more?)
 
4. Podiatry.  ( I know someone who knows someone who knows Dick Morris.  Okay, maybe not podiatry … but certainly pedicures.)
 
I could go on forever, because osmosis has opened the doors to countless challenging professions.  How many? I can’t count that high cuz I don’t know any mathematicians.

But I do want you to know how happy and grateful I am. In fact, I’m so excited,  I’m having trouble deciding which high level profession to try out first.
 
Or maybe I should just wait for my future boss to come to me.

So thanks, Senator McCain.  And please stay well  … at least until that foreign policy osmosis thing kicks in for Ms. Palin and the pesky Axis of Evil.

Oh … and one more thing: Please keep me in mind if you ever need heart surgery.
[tags]Senator McCain, Governor Palin, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Running Mate Humor, VP Verse, Veep Vetting, Qualifications Humor, Heart Surgery Humor[/tags]

Sarah Who???

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

Sarah Palin For Veep? I knew John McCain and his Rovian puppet masters were cynical, but this takes the cake.

But hey, I’m a female.  So I guess I have to vote for whats-her-name, right?  After all, the only reason I was backing Hillary is cuz we’re both female. So naturally, now that Obama’s chosen Biden as his running mate, I must vote for a woman who STANDS FOR EVERYTHING I DESPISE:

Sarah Who???
By Madeleine  Begun Kane

Dear Johnny, I can not conceive
What could possibly make you believe
That your anti-choice pick
Could possibly click
With us Hillary-gals.  How naive!

You must think that we women are sheep,
Who would swoon at a female for Veep.
But a right-wingnut gal
Who’d control our canal?
Oh, that hole that you’re digging is deep.

Yes, your pick has a beautiful face
And she’ll help you to shore up your base.
But she’s wrong to the core
And (like you) she’s just more
Of Bush/Cheney … with feminine grace.

UPDATE: I’m very pleased that my Robert Benchley Society Humor Award has generated a fair amount of publicity. This article in Gannett’s Journal News is probably the best of the stories.  And it has a fun companion video of me reading one of my humor columns.[tags]Sarah Palin, John McCain Humor, Palin Humor, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton Verse, Biden Nomination, Obama Poem, Feminist Humor, Gender Satire[/tags]

Kristol-izing Feminism

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

So Bill Kristol’s a feminist.  Who knew? Yes, William Kristol, Republican con man, is oh so terribly concerned about the glass ceiling perpetuated by Barack Obama when he chose Joe Biden for his running mate, denying Hillary Clinton her shot at Veep.

I’m touched.  Aren’t you?

Kristol-izing Feminism (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol is outraged that Hill
Ain’t the Democrats’ Veep pick. Dear Bill,
Your concern about gender
Would strike me as tender
If phonies did not make me ill.

Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly?

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

Is it just me?  Or is Keith Olbermann turning into Bill O’Reilly?

The bombastic commentary.  The narcissism.  And, of course, the misogyny.

I’d thought that once Obama clinched the Democratic nomination, it would be safe to start watching Countdown again.  Without Keith’s daily anti-Hillary target practice, I might even be able to watch it without cringing.

Wrong!

Keith’s bloviating “Worst Person in the World” anti-Katie Couric tirade was almost enough to make me turn to Bill O’Reilly. Talk about desperate!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Is Olbermann Turning Into O’Reilly? 
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In the past I cheered Olbermann’s rants—
Loved his anti-war, anti-Bush stance.
But misogynous bluster
Is all he can muster
In Olbermann’s mirror-romance.

Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes

Friday, April 4th, 2008

As you surely know by now, Air America host Randi Rhodes has been suspended for calling both Geraldine Ferraro and Hillary Clinton “whores” and describing Hillary with more f-words than I could manage to count in this clip of her performance.  Just one question: This was supposed to be comedy?

Ode To Randi “Queen of Obscene” Rhodes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

That performance by Randi ain’t pretty.
Calling Hill’ry a whore’s hardly witty.
Hurling f-bombs galore
About Hill.  What a bore!
She’s suspended? This blog has no pity.[tags]Randi Rhodes, Air America Radio, Randi’s F-words, Senator Clinton, Geraldine Ferraro, Rhodes Suspension, Tasteless Humor, Media Humor, Presidential Campaign Verse[/tags]

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary Clinton (Updated)

Sunday, March 30th, 2008

An Ode To Lefty Bloggers Who Hate Hillary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama supporters proclaim
That Clinton must quit, hurling blame,
Shrieking “Stop this damn fray!”
Dems love fighters, they say.
But not if the fighter’s a dame.

UPDATE: After posting this, I went searching for some bloggers who are rational on the subject of Clinton and Obama. Here’s what I found:

Take Your Boobs And Go Home Watch
Heh
Krugman Reads His Hillary
Obama Likes GOP Foreign Policy
Obama To Blame If The Dem Contest Goes To The Convention
Dear Democratic Elite: Back Off
It’s going past Denver
The World Is Watching[tags]Lefty Blogs Humor, Presidential Election Humor, Campaign Satire, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Democrats Limerick, Gender Humor, White House Verse[/tags]

Hysterical Lefty Bloggers Whine For Clinton To Leave Obama Alone

Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Predictably, the A-list lefty blog-calls for Hillary to get out of the presidential race have continued, notwithstanding last night’s Hillary Clinton wins. Any minute now, I half-expect to read that Hillary’s refusal to bow out is racist.

Of course, these hand-the-nomination-to-its-rightful-owner rants come from the same bloggers who insist that Obama isn’t sexist and that the media hasn’t been biased against Clinton. (Americablog is but one example and no, I will not link to it.)

Apparently, these bloggers can’t wait for the media to turn its biased dirty tricks on Obama.  Because that’s exactly what will happen if/when Clinton is out of the picture:

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

The press guys can’t wait to declare
That Clinton’s kaput on the air.
Then they’ll turn on Barack:
They’ll malign and they’ll mock
Him, the way they hit Hill’ry. Beware![tags]Presidential Politics, Lefty Bloggers, Press Bias, Media Sexism, Racist Accusations, Senator Clinton, Senator Obama, Media Humor[/tags]

Obama’s Words – A Textbook Case Of Subtle Sexism

Sunday, February 17th, 2008

Some recent Barack Obama comments reminded me of a personal essay on subtle sexism I wrote way back in 1990.  And while that might sound like ancient history, my essay, published under various titles including Gender At Work and My Most Attractive Adversary, is the lead Gender Gap chapter essay in a pair of current (2008) textbooks by Gary Goshgarian:  The Contemporary Reader and Readings For Today.

In his introduction to my essay, Northeastern University English Professor Goshgarian observes:

Women may seem to have made tremendous progress professionally and academically, but they are held back by indirect sexist comments and attitudes. They are caught in a catch-22.  If they react against these seemingly small slights, they appear to be overreacting or too sensitive. But to let them pass may signal that such comments are somehow acceptable.  In the next essay, humorist and self-described “recovering lawyer” Madeleine Begun Kane holds that subtle sexism maintains gender differences.

And that brings me to this subtly sexist Obama comment, made in response to Hillary Clinton attacks:

You challenge the status quo and suddenly the claws come out.

And to this even more offensive line:

I understand that Senator Clinton, periodically when she’s feeling down, launches attacks as a way of trying to boost her appeal.

“Claws come out?” “Periodically?”  “Feeling down?” These words are more subtle than the B-word, I suppose. But they are sexist, nonetheless. 

So where’s the blogger outrage over Obama’s sexism?  Lots of luck finding it among the A-list bloggers — the male ones, at least. They have a much better time of it interpreting everything the Clinton team does as racist. 

Sure, there’s some great commentary about Obama’s sexism over at Taylor Marsh’s blog and at Talk Left. But in the main, Obama’s getting a gender bias-pass.

Meanwhile, many educated young women, who apparently take the accomplishments of feminism for granted, are supporting Obama’s candidacy over Hillary Clinton.

You know what those young women could use?  A good gender studies course.  Because sexism, after all, isn’t ancient history.

(For the lighter side of gender issues, you can find my feminist humor here.)