In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.
(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)
Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category
Yet Another Episode of “Rules Only Apply To Democrats” (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 20th, 2018Headline: Trump Dismisses Ivanka Email Story as ‘Fake News’
Remember Trump’s dominant theme?
“Lock her up!” — a Republican meme.
Where are similar rants
Re Ivanka? Those chants;
Could it be they were only a dream?
The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”
Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.
Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Stocks are fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
*************
(ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS)
Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Mueller’s fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.
Election Stress (Limerick)
Sunday, November 4th, 2018Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”
I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!
GOP Indecency (Limerick)
Friday, November 2nd, 2018Donald Trump and his GOP peers
Are exploiting our cultural fears,
Using tactics divisive
And vilely derisive;
Throwing decency out on its ears.
The Divider-In-Chief Speaks Out Against Division? (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 24th, 2018“Trump calls for unity after explosive devices sent to prominent Democratic figures”
Donald’s rallies encourage disunity.
He stokes violence with cocky impunity.
So Trump’s just-pretend qualms
When Dems are sent bombs?
Just another PR opportunity!
Stealing Georgia? (Limerick)
Friday, October 12th, 2018Kemp’s afraid that more Georgians might vote,
So he blocks them from regist’ring. Note,
He’s intent on defeating
Ms. Abrams by cheating
To keep his Gov prospects afloat.
Donald The Prognosticator (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2018WP Headline: “Trump’s insistence on an upcoming ‘red wave’ could make a blue wave higher”
I enjoy watching Donald emote
About upcoming mid-terms; he’ll gloat
About wins and successes.
My hope and best guess is
His base will think “no need to vote!”
The “What’s The Big Deal?” Defense (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2018Trump’s personal lawyer’s confessed
To committing at Donald’s behest
And direction some crimes,
While his party-mate slimes
Are pretending to be unimpressed.
Trump Puts Press At Risk (Limerick)
Thursday, August 9th, 2018Headline: “Media boost security as Trump ramps up ‘enemy’ rhetoric”
When the media covers Trump rallies,
It’s as risky as ent’ring dark allies.
Donald’s shown us his cards,
So the press now needs guards
Due to menacing crowds and threat tallies.
The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)
Thursday, August 9th, 2018Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”
Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.
Trump Trumped By Leaks (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 15th, 2018Trump Tweet: “The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!”
Though he frequently rails about leaks,
When he ran Trump aired NO such critiques;
Once a WikiLeaks fan,
Now an anti-leak man.
He’s the target? Trump bellows and shrieks.
A Hairy Rick Saccone Theory (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 14th, 2018Crazy-sounding, but true:
Why did Rick Saccone’s run turned to ash?
Why’d his edge disappear in a flash?
Here’s my fav’rite absurd
Excuse that I’ve heard:
Rick Saccone “should have lost the mustache.”
From the Washington Examiner:
Frustrated by Saccone’s performance, some Republicans have gone so far as to zero in on his mustachioed appearance.
“It’s a porn stache,” said one Pennsylvania-based GOP strategist. “He should have lost the mustache.”
Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 30th, 2018One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”
No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!
Trump v. Kelly (Limerick)
Thursday, January 18th, 2018Trump is mad at John Kelly. Here’s why:
Re the Donald’s campaign, he let fly
Quite a wall-vow affront;
It’s surprisingly blunt.
“Uninformed,” though, sounds better than “lie.”
Trump’s Now and Future Limericks
Tuesday, January 9th, 2018You probably know that Trump’s chimed in on the “Oprah presidential run” conversation. But did you also know that Trump’s already composed two Oprah limericks — one for this year and one for 2020?
Fortunately for my readers, I managed to get hold of the only copy:
Trump’s 2018 Limerick:
Though Oprah’s unlikely to run,
I’ll beat her and have lots of fun.
I know her real well
And I think that she’s swell,
But she’ll surely be YUUUGELY outdone.
Trump’s 2020 Limerick:
Dopey Oprah is sorry she ran.
Being prez is a job for a man.
And besides, it’s not clear
She was even born here.
She’s a mopey old flash in the pan.
Limerick Ode To Roy Moore Sycophant, Pastor Flip Benham
Tuesday, November 21st, 2017Headline: “Pastor Says Moore Dated Teenagers for Their ‘Purity’”
A flip pastor says Moore dated teens
For their “purity.” I don’t know beans
About biblical teaching,
But what sort of preaching
Overlooks what indecency means?
