Archive for the ‘Legal Limericks’ Category
Sunday, May 6th, 2018
Dear Trump, Rudy’s “help” you don’t need.
I don’t know why you ever agreed
To let the guy rep you.
At best he will schelp you
To prison with mind-blowing speed.
Tags: Criminal Law, Donald Trump, Impeachment, Legal Humor, President Trump, Robert Mueller, Rudy Giuliani
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Impeachment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Thursday, March 22nd, 2018
Trump’s lawyers are frequently nayed
And their Mueller advice disobeyed.
Donald’s gut rules his mind,
So John Dowd has resigned.
I wish the man luck getting paid!
Tags: Donald Trump, John Dowd, Lawyer Limerick, Legal Humor, Obstruction Of Justice, Robert Mueller, Russia Collusion, Russia Investigation, Russia Probe
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, Russia, White House | Comments Off on Farewell To John Dowd (Limerick)
Thursday, September 28th, 2017
*****
Politico Headline of the Day: “Trump takes on a new cause: ‘Make the United Nations great'”
I don’t think we can take any more greatness.
*****
This headline deserves a limerick: “Price cut — Health Secy quits after Trump complains of travel ‘optics’”
Price is OUT! Why is Donald so mad?
It’s NOT that Tom’s plane use was bad.
Yes those charters were pricey,
But THAT’S not what’s dicey;
Trump’s upset by the “optics.” Egad!
*****
Trump’s hired a notoriously poor succession of personal lawyers since RussiaGate began. My limerick explains why.
The best lawyers prefer to be paid
YUUUUGE fees, right on time, for their aid,
And they’re bound to be miffed
When they find themselves stiffed…
Which explains why Trump’s DON’T make the grade.
*****
A 2-verse limerick about Trump’s retweeting a vile animation, described here by the LA Times:
“In the first part of the animation Trump retweeted on Sunday, the president is seen in golf attire, teeing off. The second shows footage of Clinton tripping as she boards a plane, with the video altered to show her being struck in the back with a golf ball.”
What’s it take to make Donald feel tough,
Like a fellow who has the right stuff?
Being seen with a swing
That’s so strong, he can fling
A ball, knocking Hill to her duff.
Nothing else can explain his retweet
Of a golf gif that Donald finds neat–
Animation conveying
Misogyny saying:
Striking women at will can’t be beat!
Tags: Golf Humor, Hillary Clinton, Lawyers, Misogyny Satire, Tom Price, Trump, U.N., United Nations
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Sundry Trump Limericks & More
Monday, February 6th, 2017
Would-be-Dictator Donald’s upset;
Checks and balances pose quite the threat,
Cuz some courts have said, “No!”
He’s been trumped. What a blow!
Seems he doesn’t own judges … just yet.
Tags: Abuse of Executive Power, Donald Trump, Executive Orders, Executive Overreach, Immigration Humor, Immigration Reform, Judge James L. Robart, Judges, Judiciary Humor, Judiciary Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Satire
Posted in Donald Trump, GOP Humor, Immigration Reform, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Would-Be-Dictator Donald
Wednesday, February 1st, 2017
There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!
Tags: Discrimination, Donald Trump, Fear-Mongering, Immigration Humor, Muslim Ban, Muslims, Neil Gorsuch, Religious Freedom, Religious Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, Travel Ban, Trump's Nominees
Posted in Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Immigration Reform, Legal Limericks, Neil Gorsuch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, White House | Comments Off on Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2016
“Sarah Palin Developing Her Own Judge Judy-Style Reality Show”
Judge Palin? Please say it ain’t so.
Don’t panic. Supreme Court’s no go;
Not a judge in real life,
Simply legal case strife
On TV, a Judge-Judyish show.
Damn! I was so hoping she’d be The Donald’s running mate.
Tags: Judge Judy, Judges, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Reality TV, Sarah Palin, Sarah Palin Limerick, Television, TV
Posted in GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Television (TV) Satire | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, March 1st, 2016
CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)
Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, Judiciary Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Antonin Scalia, Justice Clarence Thomas, Law Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Satire, Legal Verse, Nino Scalia, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Humor, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 24th, 2016
Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Judiciary Humor, Law Satire, Mitch McConnell, Obama, Senate Humor, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Humor, U.S. Senate
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Leadership Humor, Legal Limericks, Mitch McConnell, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Supreme Court, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell
Monday, July 6th, 2015
If you follow the U.S. Supreme Court, you know that Justice Scalia ended the term by hurling some colorful, spoiled-bratty insults at his fellow judges. His behavior was so over-the-top, that Slate created The Antonin Scalia “Sick Burn” Generator, an insult creator packed with Scalia-isms.
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Using lingo arcane and absurd,
Scalia must have the last word:
Gives “the bird” to his peers
With “pure apple sauce” jeers
He’s a “jiggery-pokery” turd.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Justice Antonin Scalia, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits
Monday, October 6th, 2014
Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The SCOTUS has caused quite a din
Over gay marriage rights. Is it sin
Or just fine for the states
To say gays can be mates?
Its response is “We shouldn’t mix in.”
Tags: Gay Marriage, Gays, Homosexuality Satire, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Humor, Legal Humor, Same Sex Marriage, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Gay Rights, Gender Politics, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 24th, 2014
Happy 225th birthday to the U.S. Supreme Court! (On Sept. 24, 1789 President George Washington signed the
Judiciary Act of 1789, which created a Supreme Court with six justices.)
Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems today marks the birth of a court,
The court of supreme last resort.
Chief Justice John Jay
Ran it back in the day.
I just wish it would do what it ort.
Tags: George Washington, John Jay, Judges, Judiciary Act, Judiciary Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Odd Holidays, September Holidays, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Humor, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Odd Holidays, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2014
Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, formerly a Common Core enthusiast, now claims that the U.S. Education Department’s initiative is an Obama “power-grab.” He’s even suing the federal government, in an appeal to wingnutty Tenthers.
Ka-ching!
Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bobby Jindal has filed a fed suit
To get Common Core given the boot:
Obama, claims Bob,
Did a power-grab job:
A prez wannabe, raising some loot.
Tags: 10th Amendment, Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal, Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Common Core, Constitution Verse, Education Department, Education Humor, Federal Lawsuit, Fund Raising, Litigation Humor, Louisiana, Obama Verse, Power-Grab Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, States Rights, Tenthers, Wingnut Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, States Rights, Tenthers, White House, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
Can you imagine Republicans ever questioning the legitimacy of a criminal case against a Democrat? Alas, that would take intellectual honesty. So don’t hold your breath.
On the other hand, many Democrats are openly questioning whether Rick Perry’s sleazy behavior rose to the level of a criminal act. As for me…
What’s a crime can be sometimes unclear.
Yes the law is confusing, I fear.
I’m a lawyer, but still
I’ve no skill, nor the will
To predict if this case will cohere.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Criminal Humor, Indictment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Rick Perry
Posted in Crime, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Rick Perry | Comments Off on The Perils Of Perry (Limerick)
Monday, April 21st, 2014
I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Income Tax, Justice Antonin Scalia, Revolution Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Taxes, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014
If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.
As Ari Berman astutely observes:
The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.
Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.
Tags: Ari Berman, Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, U.S. Supreme Court, Voting Humor, Voting Limerick, War On Voting
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
As the fight over Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage heads to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver, Colorado, Oklahoma Rep. Mike Turner (R-Edmond) is worried that gay marriage might prevail. And being desperate to combat the scourge of same-sex marriage, Turner has drafted a shell bill to use in case the case doesn’t go his way:
Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mike Turner’s prevailed in his hunt
For an anti-same-sex marriage stunt.
If you’re gay or you’re straight
You can’t wed in his state,
Says his bill; Equal rights — Mike’s out front.
Tags: Constitution Verse, Gay Marriage, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Marriage Satire, Mike Turner, Oklahoma, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)
Friday, November 22nd, 2013
Most Democrats are pleased that Harry Reid finally pulled the trigger on a filibuster rules change. Mitch McConnell? Not so much!
Open Limerick From Mitch McConnell To Harry Reid
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitch to Harry: You’ll live to regret
The rule change you made. That’s a threat.
How dare you show fight!
Wreaking havoc’s our right.
Will we keep being evil? You bet!
Tags: Advise And Consent, Filibuster, Filibuster Humor, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, Nuclear Option, Obstructionism, Senate Democrats, Senate Humor
Posted in Constitutional Crisis, Democracy Humor, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Harry Reid, Judiciary Satire, Legal Limericks, Mitch McConnell, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 1 Comment »
Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Will Femia, over at MaddowBlog, has challenged us to a “good old-fashioned marriage equality limericking bee.” Here’s my contribution:
Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Same sex couples are quick to endorse
The spread of gay marriage, of course.
But the happiest folks
Are THESE women and blokes:
Hungry lawyers who handle divorce.
Tags: Divorce, Gay Marriage, Homosexuality Satire, Lawyers, Legal Humor, Legal Satire, Maddowblog, Marriage Equality, Rachel Maddow, Will Femia
Posted in Gay Rights, Gender Politics, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks | 3 Comments »
Sunday, July 14th, 2013
Limerick Ode To Zimmerman’s Florida
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If you’d rather shoot people than skeet,
And enjoy killing folks on the street,
But you don’t want to pay
Any price, come what may,
Then Florida’s (f)laws can’t be beat.
*****
Florida-style “Stand Your Ground” laws encourage the aggressive use of firearms based on vague (often bias-inspired) suspicions. And jury verdicts, like George Zimmerman’s acquittal in the Trayvon Martin murder case, only serve to further encourage and rubber stamp murderous behavior.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Firearms, Florida, George Zimmerman, Gun Control, Gun Humor, Gun Laws, Law Satire, Legal Verse, Racism, Second Amendment, Stand Your Ground Law, Trayvon Martin, Trial Humor, Vigilante, Weapon Humor
Posted in Crime, Firearms & Guns Humor, GOP Humor, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Public Safety, Republicans Humor | 6 Comments »
Political Tidbits
Saturday, March 21st, 2015Glenn Beck just announced that he’s quitting the Republican Party.
It seems the GOP isn’t quite crazy enough for him.
*****
To prove he really means it this time, Donald Trump is forming a presidential exploratory committee.
Some circuses just can’t have too many rings.
*****
Dear Rand Paul, I don’t live in Kentucky,
And I think that you’re far worse than yucky.
Why’s your newsletter clogging
My email and dogging
My bandwidth with viewpoints so sucky?
*****
Facts can be pesky
and undermine views.
But the right just discards them
like old, worn out shoes.
*****
In a Playboy interview, Dick Cheney said Obama is “the worst president of my lifetime”.
I could have sworn that title belonged to Cheney.
*****
Why don’t I call
the GOP pols heartless?
I hate redundancy.
*****
Re Matt McLaughlin’s gays-killing CA ballot initiative, doesn’t his “Sodomite Suppression Act” deserve a “Matt McLaughlin Suppression Act?”
*****
Alaska Republican Rep. Don Young suggested letting wolves loose to cure the homeless problem.
What a foxy way to angle for a job at Fox News!
*****
The duped marks wallow
in hollow crap they swallow
from pols they follow.
*****
Conservative commentator Dinesh D’Souza has denounced Hillary Clinton’s “lawlessness.”
But I think D’Souza is just lonely serving time for violating campaign finance laws.
*****
Sudden clarity
of thought and reason in pols–
Can’t a gal dream?
*****
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker has signed a “Right-to-Work” law, a/k/a the “Right to Destroy Unions by Reaping Benefits Without Paying Dues” law.
******
GOP hucksters
hock our nation’s future
to gain/maintain power.
*****
Tags: California, Dick Cheney Humor, Dinesh D’Souza, Don Young, Donald Trump, Fox News, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck, Hillary Clinton, Kentucky, Matt McLaughlin, Political Tidbits, Presidential Campaign Humor, Rand Paul, Scott Walker, Sodomite Suppression Act, Unions
Posted in Campaign Humor, Collective Bargaining, Dick Cheney Satire, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Gay Rights, Glenn Beck Satire, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Legal Limericks, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Haiku & Senryu, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Punditry Humor, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Scott Walker | Comments Off on Political Tidbits