Archive for the ‘Idiom Humor’ Category
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021
Happy Bong Day! (November 10)
A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.
Tags: Bong Day, Bong Humor, Grass Humor, Grass Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Marijuana Humor, Marijuana Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, November Holidays, Odd Holidays, Singer Humor, Singer Limerick, Singers
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays | Comments Off on Longing For A Bong (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 9th, 2021
The restaurateur was irate
Cuz his chef was, as usual, late.
“You must clean up your act,
Or expect to be sacked.
It’s time you step up to the plate!”
Tags: Boss Humor, Boss Limerick, Chef Humor, Chef Limerick, Cooking Humor, Cooking Limerick, Food Humor, Food Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Job Loss Humor, Job Loss Limerick, Lateness Humor, Lateness Limerick, Restaurant Humor, Restaurant Limerick, Workplace & Career Humor, Workplace Limerick
Posted in Food & Drink Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Restaurant Reviews & Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | Comments Off on The Shiftless Chef (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2021
Bought a grandfather clock — famous brand.
(It is lauded throughout our great land.)
But the time it displays
Has been faulty for days.
That’s the last time I buy secondhand.
Tags: Clock Humor, Clock Limerick, Grandfather Clock, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Secondhand Humor, Secondhand Limerick, Secondhand Purchases, Shopping Humor, Shopping Limerick, Time Humor, Time Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Shopping Humor, Time Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Timeless Limerick
Sunday, October 31st, 2021
I find “Mother Goose” puzzling. Don’t you?
Take that old gal who lives in a shoe
With her numerous tots.
Why a shoe, of all spots?
It’s a “shoe-inn,” you say? Where’s the loo?
Tags: Children Humor, Children Limerick, Fairy Tales, Fiction Humor, Fiction Limerick, Idioms Humor, Idioms Limerick, Mother Goose, Shoe Humor, Shoes Limerick, Stories Humor, Stories Limerick
Posted in Children Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | 2 Comments »
Monday, October 25th, 2021
Happy “World Opera Day!” (October 25)
“Sustaining high notes can be hard,”
Said an opera singer who starred
In Norma; she claims
That it’s not fun and games,
But a contest of wills, no holds barred.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Norma, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Opera Day, Opera Humor, Opera Limerick, Singers, Singing Humor, Singing Limerick, World Opera Day
Posted in Idiom Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Odd Holidays, Wordplay | Comments Off on Operatic Limerick
Sunday, October 24th, 2021
A gambler who lost lots of dough
On a horse race, was stunned by the blow:
“Woe is me! I’m a chump!
That damn horse took a dump
Mid-race; he was rarin’ to ‘go.'”
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Animal Limerick, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Defecation Humor, Defecation Limerick, Gambling Humor, Gambling Limerick, Gambling Verse, Horse Humor, Horse Limerick, Horse Racing, Horse Racing Humor, Horse Racing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Race Humor, Race Limerick, Racing Humor, Racing Limerick
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Gambling & Gaming Humor, Idiom Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Woe-Ridden Gambler (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021
When their granddad discussed his affairs,
He declared they’d be heirs with large shares
Of investments extensive
And assets expensive.
It turns out he was putting on airs.
Tags: Heirs Humor, Heirs Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Inheritance Limerick, Investment Humor, Investment Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Wills Humor, Wills Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Heirs Apparent (Limerick)
Thursday, October 21st, 2021
“We have lost sev’ral members, I hear,”
Said the maestro. “Some key ones, I fear.
It’s too late for auditions
To find new musicians.
I guess we must play it by ear.”
Tags: Audition Humor, Audition Limerick, Conductor Humor, Conductor Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Musician Humor, Musician Limerick, Orchestra Humor, Orchestra Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems | Comments Off on Missing Musicians (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2021
A gal, an industrious knitter,
Showed a huge heap of knits to her sitter:
“It’s a mess, I confess.
If you sort it, dear Tess,
I shall give you the pick of the litter.”
(Worldwide Knit In Public Day is the 2nd Saturday of June.)
Tags: Crafts Humor, Hobbies Humor, Hobbies Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, June Holidays, Knits Humor, Knitting Humor, Knitwear, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Needlework Humor, Odd Holidays, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Hobbies Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Wordplay | 4 Comments »
Monday, October 18th, 2021
Two women, good friends, worked backstage.
Each was “dating” a man half her age:
A man on the crew.
Which one? Neither knew.
It turns out, both were on the same Page.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dating Humor, Dating Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Secrecy Humor, Secrecy Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Dating Humor, Friendship Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Secret Affairs (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
At the piano the man’s an old hand;
He is one of the best in the land.
But he still has regrets
And never forgets:
Having more than one hand would be grand.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Music Humor & Verse, Music Limerick, Piano Humor, Piano Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Music Poems, Wordplay | Comments Off on Handy Limerick
Tuesday, October 12th, 2021
There are days I feel old as the hills
And I long for those youth-making fountains.
But this contrary thought gives me thrills:
It’s better than old as the mountains.
Tags: Age Humor, Age Quatrain, Age Verse, Aging Humor & Verse, Aging Quatrain, Aging Verse, Idiom Humor, Idiom Quatrain
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Idiom Humor, Limericks | Comments Off on Aging Quatrain
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
A sketch artist’s drawings were raw
And flawed, rarely gazed at with awe.
Yet he won an award
For his “Gourd With A Sword.”
Fellow artists swore: “Luck of the Draw!”
Tags: Art Award Humor, Art Humor, Art Limerick, Artist Humor, Artist Limerick, Drawings, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Sketching, Wordplay, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Art Humor / Verse, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Sketchy Artist (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2021
I called a new carpenter, Ned,
Cuz the first guy screwed up and then fled.
When I showed him the job
Ned said, “Fix it? No prob!”
Then he hit the nail right on the head.
Tags: Carpenter Humor, Carpenter Limerick, Carpentry Humor, Carpentry Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limericks, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Repairs Humor, Repairs Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Wordplay | Comments Off on Nailed It (Limerick)
Monday, October 4th, 2021
Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:
As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”
Tags: Golf Humor, Golf Limerick, Golf Lovers Day, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Wordplay
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Odd Holidays, Outdoors Humor, Sports Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)
Monday, September 27th, 2021
A fellow I know can’t spell “sneeze;”
Also “breezes” and “freezes” and “cheese.”
Though he always tries hard,
His spelling is marred;
Triple “e’s” make the man ill at ease.
Tags: Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Spelling, Spelling Humor, Spelling Limerick, Wordplay Humor, Wordplay Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, September 25th, 2021
“It’s easy to hoodwink that stinker,”
Said a man of his wife, a big drinker.
“When coition’s my mission,
She thinks I’m out fishin’…
And falls for it hook, line, and sinker.”
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Dishonesty, Fish Humor, Fish Limerick, Fishing Humor, Fishing Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Marriage Humor, Marriage Limerick, Wordplay Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Bawdy Limericks, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Marriage Humor, Wordplay | Comments Off on Fishing For An Alibi (Limerick)
Thursday, September 23rd, 2021
It’s not bad enough that I’m addicted to writing limericks. Now I’m also hooked on reading/playing with idiom lists:
“I suspect that our firm has a spy,
Cuz a journo just called to ask why
We give patients the squeeze
With our vision-wear fees.
Now our practice will get a black eye.”
Tags: Black Eyes, Eyes Humor, Eyes Limerick, Idiom Humor Idiom Limericks, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Limerick, Optometry Humor, Optometry Limerick, Overcharges Humor, Patients Humor, Patients Limerick, Vision Humor, Vision Limerick
Posted in Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Vision Humor | Comments Off on Idiomatic Idiocy? (Limerick)
Monday, September 20th, 2021
A man in the mood for a swim,
Who would frequently act on a whim,
Dove into a pool
From a tree; hurt his tool…
Vowed to stop going out on a limb.
Tags: Bawdy Humor, Bawdy Limerick, Diving Limerick, Idiom Humor, Idiom Limerick, Language Humor, Language Limerick, Swimming Humor, Tree Climbing, Tree Humor, Tree Limerick, Trees
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Idiom Humor, Language Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Limericks, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on Whimsical Limerick
