Archive for the ‘Idiom Humor’ Category

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: FLY at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: October 2, 2021)

Saturday, September 18th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using FLY at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BRAGGING, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BRAGGING-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on October 3, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, October 2, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my FLY-rhyme limerick:

Please don’t claim something’s “easy as pie.”
That assertion is pie in the sky.
Baking pies makes me queasy;
It sure isn’t “easy.”
Your analogy simply won’t fly.

And here’s my BRAGGING-themed limerick:

“Do not think that because you’re first born
You can treat other players with scorn.
You’re a middling musician,
Despite your ambition.
And I hate when you blow your own horn.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A “Beaut” Of A Limerick

Thursday, September 16th, 2021

As you can see, I’m continuing to have fun with idioms. Here’s my “Beaut” Of A Limerick:

Lovely Lil is a beautiful filly,
But the clothing she wears is too frilly!
And her makeup looks trashy;
It’s garish and flashy.
How I wish she’d stop gilding the Lily!

Party Snafu (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 15th, 2021

We chipped in; threw a party for Jill.
Her friend Carl held our cash in a till.
Had to twist the man’s arms
And call the gendarmes
To get him to foot the damn bill.

Humor Disharmony (Limerick)

Friday, September 10th, 2021

NOTE: While the last line of this limerick is true, it’s NOT a plea for sympathy. My real purpose in writing it was to play with the idiom “fall flat.”

My wisecrack failed right off the bat.
Not one “like!” Not one “LOL!” That was that!
’Twas a musical jest,
But I guess, not my best.
I feel low when my humor falls flat.

Taking An Idiom Out For A Spin (Limerick)

Thursday, September 9th, 2021

Though she’s working day in and day out
At dance, her success is in doubt.
Seems she’s not very bright;
Can’t tell “left” from her “right.”
And that’s what it all is about.

Know-It-All Limerick

Wednesday, September 8th, 2021

“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”

A Meaty Limerick

Sunday, September 5th, 2021

It appears that my project’s dead meat.
But no worries; it’s not a defeat.
I’ll continue to thrive
Because beef that’s alive
Is something that folks rarely eat.

Fun In The Sun? (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 31st, 2021

“I warned you: That lotion’s been banned,
And your skin is too pale to get tanned.
No beach, I beseech you!
But words never reach you.
You bury your head in the sand.”

Breathless Gossip (Limerick)

Monday, August 30th, 2021

“Here’s some gossip I’ve only just heard:
Jane’s engaged to a writerly nerd,
Who’s a Scrabble fanatic
And rather asthmatic.
It’s a secret, so don’t breathe a word.”

An Idiom To Chew On (Limerick)

Saturday, August 28th, 2021

A French restaurant, once upper crust,
Got a rotten review and went bust:
“Their food can’t be chewed,”
Wrote the prominent dude.
Two weeks later, the place bit the dust.

Checkmate? (Limerick)

Friday, August 27th, 2021

“Your payments have fallen behind.
Where’s my money?” the contractor whined.
“Our deal’s ‘a blank check’
To rebuild your wrecked deck.”
The reply: “Yes, that’s why it’s unsigned.”

End This Idiom! (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 25th, 2021

There’s an idiom many despise.
Some believe it’s a prelude to lies.
Those who use it to sound
Smart and lofty abound.
At the end of the day, it’s unwise.

The Last Word In Limericks?

Saturday, August 14th, 2021

Believe it or not, when I started writing this, I wasn’t thinking about the person you all think I was thinking about. (I was just trying to use my line 5 idiom in a limerick.)

I wondered why people deferred
To a fellow who’s coarse and absurd.
Well I’ve fin’ly learned why
They fawn over the guy:
He’s rich; hence he gets the last word.

Redundant Limerick

Saturday, August 14th, 2021

Redundancy’s dull and dismaying,
And my patience for nonsense is fraying,
So I tend to turn red
At things best left unsaid,
Such as statements that “go without saying.”

Out On A Limb (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 10th, 2021

Once again, I was out on a limb.
I had climbed up a tree on a whim.
(A literal beech;
Not a figure of speech.)
Was safety in reach? Chances slim.

(Note: Even back when I was young, spry, and had good, functioning knee joints, I never climbed trees.)

On The Ropes (Limerick)

Monday, August 9th, 2021

Sometimes, when my limerick inspiration is “on the ropes,” I’ll start with a random idiom. (In this case, my initial first line involved a “clothing boutique.” But when I thought of the last line, I changed the type of store for obvious reasons.)

With her laundromat shop on the ropes,
She was suff’ring a case of the mopes.
How she yearned to earn more!
And the plight of her store
Had reduced her to watching the soaps.

Computer Confusion (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021

A fellow, when told to reboot,
Was bewildered; this didn’t compute.
It was clear from his face,
As he bent to unlace,
That technology’s NOT his strong suit.

More Fun With Idioms (Limerick)

Monday, August 2nd, 2021

When someone’s depicted as “poor
As a church mouse,” I want to know more:
Are mice in a church
Always left in the lurch?
And if so, why not forage next door?

Why I Love The French (Limerick)

Sunday, July 25th, 2021

Want a gibe that sounds charming? Don’t fret!
French phrases can help you — no sweat!
If the java tastes vile,
Simply bitch with a smile:
“This coffee is ‘jus de chaussette.'”

(I was amused to learn that the literal translation of “jus de chaussette” is “sock juice.”)

Go With The Flow? It’s A No! (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 30th, 2015

Go With The Flow? It’s A No! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I rarely just go with the flow.
My temper’ment makes me say “no”
To the trends that prevail.
I’ve an impulse to rail,
So I won’t hold my water. No go!