Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Tuesday, June 19th, 2012
Was Mitt Romney’s amazement over the Wawa touch screen hoagie-ordering device further proof of his out-of-touchness? Or was it merely a small part of his comments on “federal bureaucracy and innovation in the private sector?”
I have a third interpretation:
Wawa-Gate Reinterpreted (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, that hoagie device
Seemed to stun you, amaze, and entice.
I’ll just bet you were thrilled
By the jobs that are killed
When touch screens put clerk jobs on ice.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Bureaucracy, Hoagies, Innovation, Mitt Romney, Private Sector, Technology, Touch Screen Technology, Wawa, Wawagate
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Technology Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, June 15th, 2012
Michigan Republican pols apparently have very delicate ears:
Two state representatives in Michigan were barred from speaking on the floor of the legislature in Lansing Thursday after colleagues deemed their language “failed to maintain the decorum” of the legislative body.
State Reps. State Reps. Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum, both Democrats, were arguing against proposed legislation that would enact new restrictions on abortions in Michigan, including provisions for new insurance requirements for abortion providers.
Brown ended her floor speech by declaring: “”I’m flattered that you are all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.”
Republicans To Women: No Vagina Dialogues!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republicans love to pass laws
That restrict female parts, without pause.
But just utter “vagina”—
They’ll ship you to China.
Censor gals in all ways — that’s their cause.
Tags: Abortion Rights, Censorship Humor, Feminism Humor, Michigan, Reproductive Rights, Republican Hypocrisy, Vagina Satire
Posted in Abortion Rights, Censorship Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, June 12th, 2012
Mitt Romney has a bad habit of pretending he didn’t say something that he actually said. And claiming not to hold positions that he really holds.
For instance, after getting flack for his stated opinion that we have too many cops, firemen, and teachers, and that cutting such jobs is a good thing, he’s pretending this never happened. According to Mitt, to claim he said what he said and holds views that he really holds is “a very strange accusation.”
Don’t believe Mitt for even a minute. For while the federal government doesn’t directly hire (or fire) cops, firemen, and teachers, Romney’s stated policies would starve the state and municipal budgets, causing cops, firefighters, and teachers to lose their jobs.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Vote Mitt, if you think our supply
Of teachers and cops is too high,
And firemen too.
We’ll be losing a slew
Of them all — that’s what Romney-votes buy.
Tags: Barack Obama, Budget Cuts, Budget Limerick, Campaign Satire, Cops, Election Humor, Firefighters, Firemen, Mitt Romney, Republicans Humor, Teachers, Votes
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Crime, Education Limerick, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Government Services, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, June 4th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Republican Schadenfreude
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch Republicans feign being sad
When employment news comes, and it’s bad.
How they try not to grin—
They’re more likely to win!
If you vote GOP, you’ve been had.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Budget, Fiscal Crisis, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Election, Republican Hypocrisy, Republicans Humor, Schadenfreude
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 4 Comments »
Thursday, May 31st, 2012
Birtherism is but one of Donald Trump’s bad qualities. And yet the Mitt Romney-Donald Trump alliance is going strong, making some people wonder how Romney looks at himself in the mirror without throwing up.
An Open Limerick To Mitt Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, some are feeling concerned,
Cuz what little respect you have earned,
Will go right down the drain
Should you really retain
Your Trump clown-act. He needs to be spurned.
Tags: Barack Obama, Birthers, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, Mitt Romney
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 28th, 2012
It’s a sad day when highly respected LBJ biographer Robert Caro loses his number one New York Times non-fiction slot to his polar opposite: hit job “author” Edward Klein.
Limerick Ode To An Amateur
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Amateur, hit job and whine
On Obama by error-prone Klein,
Has slimed up to first
On the Times list — we’re cursed:
Public taste for the facts on decline.
Tags: Amateur, Barack Obama, Best Sellers Humor, Biographers, Ed Klein, Hit Jobs, Lyndon Johnson, New York Times, Political Books, Robert Caro
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Political Books, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Friday, May 25th, 2012
Memo To Republican Parents of College-Age Children: When federal student loan rates double this July, you’ll only have yourselves to blame:
Senate Republicans filibustered a bill to extend the current interest rate on federal student loans, blocking an extension from moving forward by a vote of 51-43 (with 60 votes needed to advance the bill). They blocked a similar effort earlier this month. Without an extension, interest rates will double in July from 3.4 percent to 6.8 percent.
Limerick Memo To Republican Parents
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sen. Republicans live in a bubble,
Untroubled that loan rates will double:
They repeatedly block
A Dem bill that would lock
In low rates, treating students like rubble.
Tags: College Loans, Federal Student Loans, Filibuster Humor, Loan Rates, Republicans Humor
Posted in Education Limerick, Filibuster Humor, GOP Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Student Loan Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2012
So let me get this straight: Mitt Romney has disavowed his singular accomplishment as Massachusetts governor (universal health care). And for the most part, he’s resting his claim to the presidency on his Bain-related expertise and accomplishments. He even asserts (without any proof) to have been a big “job creator” there. And yet Romney has the audacity to declare his Bain years off-limits to examination and critique by Obama and other Democrats.
As Ezra Klein points out:
Romney’s national platform … calls for doing less for the victims of the global economy. He wants to repeal the Affordable Care Act, which would guarantee that workers would get health insurance even if they lost their jobs in, say, a private-equity led restructuring. He wants to pay for large tax cuts and more defense spending by cutting funds for Medicaid, for food stamps, for worker retraining, and for housing subsidies. He wants to cut Social Security benefits. He has no detailed plans to improve the continuing education system, or worker retraining programs, such that displaced machinists have a better chance to find a new job.
That’s why the ads in which laid-off steelworkers say Romney just doesn’t care about people like them are so effective. As head of Bain, it was Romney’s job not to care about them. But as a presidential candidate, it’s his job to show that he does care about them. So far, he hasn’t.
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Job Creator” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney brags of his Bain expertise—
Says it’s earned him the White Houses’s keys.
Yet he’s sore, slams the door,
Says how dare we explore
What exactly he did for those fees.
Dear Mitt, you can’t have it both ways.
Your record’s reviewed in this phase:
When you proudly proclaim
You know biz, it’s fair game
To appraise your Bain management ways.
Tags: Bain Capital, Barack Obama, Business Expertise, Business Verse, Campaign Humor, Economy Satire, Election Satire, Fiscal Humor, Job Creator, Jobs, Mitt Romney, White House
Posted in Barack Obama, Business Humor, Campaign Humor, Economy Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 21st, 2012
Note to Sarah Palin and Ted (Tea Party Express, Texas) Cruz, a would-be Republican nominee for U.S. Senate: Just because Texas and Kansas both end in “as” doesn’t make them the same state:
Sarah Palin called with a tip that Cruz was the man for the GOP.
Thank goodness the Cruz campaign directed a robocall to my office of the Topeka Capital-Journal.
Getting meaningful political advice from Palin was a treat.
“Hello, Texas!” she blasted into my ear. “I’m Sarah Palin.”
State of Embarrassment (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Sarah, when trying to aid
Mr. Cruz, all your robocalls played
On phones through the state
Of Kansas ain’t great,
When it’s Texans you aim to persuade.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Kansas, Republicans Humor, Robocall Humor, Sarah Palin, Tea Party, Tea Party Express, Ted Cruz, Texas, Topeka Capital-Journal
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sarah Palin, Tea Parties, Texas Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 18th, 2012
Here’s a bracing historical factoid: The last man to be elected U.S. president despite losing both his home and birth states was President James Knox Polk back in 1844. Why’s it bracing? Because Mitt Romney is very likely to lose his native state (Michigan) and home state (Massachusetts.)
Poking a Hole In Romney’s Odds (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney is likely to lose
His birth and his home states. Great news,
Because history says
That for Mitt to be prez
He needs one of those states … or Polk’s shoes.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, James Polk, Massachusetts, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Poking a Hole In Romney’s Odds (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 16th, 2012
Every so often I read a news item that sounds so crazy, I’m sure it must be from the Onion. For instance:
Two months from now, [George W. Bush] plans to publish a book outlining strategies for economic growth.
Please Say It Ain’t So (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An economy book by George Dub,
Whose presidency was a flub:
That’s the news of the day,
And I’m sorry to say
That this isn’t a joke — there’s the rub.
Tags: Economic Meltdown, Economy Satire, George Bush Satire, George W. Bush, Political Books, White House
Posted in Economy Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Books, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, White House | 6 Comments »
Friday, May 11th, 2012
I got very excited when I learned that Michele Bachmann had become a Swiss citizen, courtesy of her Swiss-born husband, Marcus Bachmann. Silly me — I thought maybe she’d become another nation’s problem. A nation with a lovely universal health care system, I might add.
But alas, the dual citizen thing rubbed Bachmann’s wingnutty constituents the wrong way. So Michele seems to have pulled a “never mind” in a letter to the Swiss Consulate withdrawing her Swiss dual citizenship.
Oh well … it was nice while it lasted.
Limerick Ode To Michele “Swiss Miss No More” Bachmann
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I enjoyed a brief moment of bliss
When Bachmann turned partially Swiss.
I’d assumed ’twas a flight
From our “socialist” blight
And an anti-Obama type diss.
But alas, it appears she is staying
All-American. Damn, how dismaying!
Guess it’s hard to accrue
Swiss-style benefits too,
While you keep anti-health care inveighing.
Tags: Dual Citizenship, Health Care, Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann, Socialism Satire, Swiss Citizen, Switzerland
Posted in GOP Humor, Health Satire, Michele Bachmann, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, May 9th, 2012
Remember Jonah Goldberg? The fellow whose pundit career got a huge boost from his mommy Lucianne Goldberg’s role in the Bill Clinton impeachment.
Well, he’s out with a new liberal-bashing book. I wouldn’t even mention it, but for the amusing dustup over its dust cover:
On the dust jacket of his new book, “The Tyranny of Clichés: How Liberals Cheat in the War of Ideas,” best-selling conservative author and commentator Jonah Goldberg is described as having “twice been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize.”
In fact, as Goldberg acknowledged on Tuesday, he has never been a Pulitzer nominee, but is merely one of thousands of entrants.
What’s surprising in Goldberg’s case is that he has been called out for the same résumé padding before, when his previous book was published.
Jonah Goldberg’s Dust Cover Dustup (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Jonah Goldberg has written a book
Claiming liberals cheat, as its hook.
Check its dust jacket. Why?
To laugh at this lie:
Nominee for two Pulitzers? Schnook!
Tags: Clinton Impeachment, Jonah Goldberg, Liberal Bashing, Lucianne Goldberg, Media Humor, Political Books, Pulitzer Prize, Resume Humor, Resume Padding
Posted in Bill Clinton, Media Satire, Political Books, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Jonah Goldberg’s Dust Cover Dustup (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 8th, 2012
Mitt Romney’s cowardice surfaced yet again today: Romney failed correct a woman who said Obama “should be tried for treason.”
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Afraid of the Fringe” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, a gal in your crowd
Called Obama a traitor out loud.
Though it’s clear that you heard,
You said nary a word
To dispute it: You’re shamefully cowed.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Traitors, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Monday, May 7th, 2012
Rachel Maddow has long been covering Ron Paul’s stealth delegate strategy. Well finally, the rest of the mainstream media is starting to take notice. Here’s the Christian Science Monitor on Ron Paul’s big delegate wins in Maine and Nevada:
… Mr. Paul’s strategy of organizing the grass roots and working arcane delegate selection rules is paying off. And that could mean big trouble for Mitt Romney and his plans to smoothly pivot to a campaign aimed solely at incumbent President Obama.
Is Ron Paul Out-Maneuvering Mitt? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Should Mitt be concerned about Paul
And his stealth, oddball delegate haul?
A Ron Paul power play
Could create disarray —
Tampa might not be dull, after all.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Delegate Selection Rules, Election Satire, Libertarians, Maine, Mitt Romney, Nevada, Republican National Convention, Ron Paul, Tampa
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Maine Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Nevada Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ron Paul, White House | 3 Comments »
Thursday, May 3rd, 2012
It can’t be easy to simultaneously piss off liberals, conservatives, gays, and homophobes. But Mitt Romney managed to do it.
How? By hiring and (under pressure from anti-gay conservatives) speedily muzzling and forcing out his openly gay, misogynistic, wingnutty foreign policy spokesman Ric Grenell.
Mitt Romney’s Grenell Gaffe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney would love to dispel
His panicked farewell to Grenell:
Bigots bitched, so he jumped —
His gay spokesman, he dumped,
Selling out at alarm bells, pell-mell.
Tags: Bigotry Limerick, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Gays, Homophobes, Mitt Romney, Richard Grenell
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Foreign Policy, Gay Rights, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, May 1st, 2012
I’ve been meaning to comment on Mitt Romney’s cluelessly callous remarks to students at Otterbein University in Ohio:
…Mitt Romney told students that, his friend, Jimmy John, started a business by borrowing $20,000 from his parents at a low interest rate. Romney suggested anyone in the audience could do the same:
“…Take a shot, go for it, take a risk, get the education, borrow money if you have to from your parents, start a business.”
In other words, Romney wants students to be “job creators,” but he has no plans to help them. Now if you’re a rich “job creator,” that’s another story.
Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, I was grateful and glad
That you shared the quick fix to be had
For youths who can’t pay
For college today:
Start a biz with a loan from your dad.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Economy Satire, Election Satire, Job Creators, Mitt Romney, Money Humor, Parents, Republican War On College, Student Loans
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Student Loan Humor, Students Verse | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 26th, 2012
What’s even more annoying than a Jimmy Carter poem? It’s Carter pontificating about the upcoming presidential election:
Former President Jimmy Carter believes Barack Obama will win a second term, but says he’d be “comfortable” with Mitt Romney in the White House because of the Republican’s past history as a “moderate.”
Limerick Ode To Jimmy Carter
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Carter counts on Mitt’s moderate past
With naiveness that leaves me aghast.
I’d be comfy, he says,
With Mitt as our Prez.
Carter’s foolishness truly is vast.
Tags: Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Election Humor, James Carter, Jimmy Carter, Mitt Romney
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Democrats Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Jimmy Carter, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, April 25th, 2012
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:
“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”
Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:
Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.
Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane
How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.
Tags: Barack Obama, Brookings Institution, Florida, Gaffes, Glass Houses, Marco Rubio, Political Speech, Speeches, Teleprompter
Posted in Barack Obama, Florida Humor, GOP Humor, Marco Rubio, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Speeches Satire | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, April 18th, 2012
Remember the overblown Hilary Rosen stay-at-home moms controversy? We now know that Ann Romney was just pretending to feel victimized by Rosen’s remarks:
Ann Romney, the wife of GOP front-runner Mitt Romney, told supporters at a private fundraising event on Sunday that last week’s Hilary Rosen controversy was an “early birthday present.”
“It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother,” she said. “That was a really defining moment, and I loved it.”
Yes, to quote Maureen Dowd, Ann Romney “was feigning aggrievement to milk the moment.”
It’s important when you act the martyr not to overplay your hand. If you admit out loud to a bunch of people — including Haake, who was on the sidewalk enterprisingly eavesdropping — that you’re just pretending to be offended, you risk looking phony, like your husband.
Limerick Ode To Yet Another Romney Phony
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Ann, when pretending you’re hurt
By an “insult” it’s best not to blurt
That the “diss” was a gift—
That you’re not really miffed,
Lest you swiftly your image subvert.
Tags: Ann Romney, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, Gender Humor, Hilary Rosen, Mitt Romney, Mothers, Republican Hypocrisy, Republican War On Women, Stay-At-Home Moms, Work Humor, Working Moms
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
