Archive for the ‘Fox News Humor’ Category

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Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012

If any Republican operative should know not to joke about killing President Obama, it’s pollster/wordsmith Frank Luntz. And yet that’s precisely what he did:

If you think the race for the Republican presidential nomination has been ugly, you’re right. However, a recent joke by Republican pollster and Fox News analyst Frank Luntz indicates that the general election promises to be even uglier. Warming up a crowd at a Rick Santorum campaign event Monday night, Luntz cracked, “I have a ‘Run, Barack, Run’ bumper sticker, but I put it on the front of my car.

Here’s Rachel Maddow’s story on this, including the video of Luntz’s running-President-Obama-over joke.

Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican messaging czar
Is an expert at framing — a star.
Yet he loves to tee-hee
That Obama must flee,
Or be struck by a GOP car.

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Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Frank Luntz, GOP Humor, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, RNC Humor | Comments Off on Frank Luntz’s Killer Of A Joke (Limerick)

Limerick Ode to Clueless Rick Perry

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Poor Rick Perry is having a rough time. First, he’s forced to walk back his pro-Birther “I don’t have a clue about … what his birth certificate says” comments. Next, he’s reduced to silence on Fox Business when told he sounds “like one of those Occupy Wall Streeters.”

Limerick Ode To Clueless Rick Perry
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Perry’s not-a-clue line caused ado.
Anti-Birthers are starting to stew.
But in Perry’s behalf,
It’s not really a gaffe
Cuz it’s true: Perry hasn’t a clue.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Birther Humor, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Occupy Wall Street, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Texas Humor, White House, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »

Don’t Be Shocked, But I Compliment Fox News … Sort Of

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

It amazes me that anyone could call David Gregory’s Newt Gingrich interview a “gotcha” interview. Yet that’s exactly what Newt’s been doing in the wake of his campaign’s self-destruction.

However, if you read the Meet The Press transcript, it’s clear that nobody trapped Gingrich into condemning Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan as undesirable “right-wing social engineering.”

So here’s my theory: Newt and his fellow Republicans have been coddled and spoiled by Fox News. As a result, many of them have lost their edge and can no longer handle themselves when asked even-handed questions.

I never thought I’d be saying this but…

Thank You Fox News (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While Fox has been tempting to mock
Cuz its cov’rage is mostly a crock,
Softball questions spoiled Newt,
Who can’t handle a brute
Like Dave Gregory — Fox News, you rock!

UPDATE: To add to my amusement, Newt Gingrich is trying to forbid people from quoting his Ryan Plan criticism in an ad. Here’s Newt: “any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate.”

Lots of luck with that, Newt.

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Posted in Election Satire, Fox News Humor, Health Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »

It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts

Tuesday, February 8th, 2011

I, for one, am enjoying the Bill Kristol / Glenn Beck feud:

Last week, Fox News’ Glenn Beck launched a week-long effort to explain developments in Egypt as only he can. The deranged media personality cooked up truly bizarre conspiracy theories — even by his standards…

Over the weekend, The Weekly Standard’s William Kristol, a Fox News contributor, had seen enough. “[H]ysteria is not a sign of health,” Kristol wrote in a new column. “When Glenn Beck rants about the caliphate taking over the Middle East from Morocco to the Philippines, and lists (invents?) the connections between caliphate-promoters and the American left, he brings to mind no one so much as Robert Welch and the John Birch Society. He’s marginalizing himself, just as his predecessors did back in the early 1960s.”

Now let’s face it — Glenn Beck’s behavior has to be pretty crazy for a neoconservative like Kristol to write that sort of critique. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

It’s Kristol Clear That Beck Is Nuts
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bill Kristol said Beck’s gone too far,
Which means Glenn’s scaled a very high bar.
Cuz when Bill says enough
To a wingnut, that’s rough.
Yes, Glenn’s sanity’s way under par.

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Posted in Bill Kristol, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Wingnuts | 6 Comments »

My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America

Thursday, August 26th, 2010

I have a dream that one day crazed liars like Glenn Beck will no longer pollute our television and radio waves and the Internet.

I have a dream that one day the American people will stop being suckered by deranged media personalities like Glenn Beck.

I have a dream that one day Glenn Beck will headline a rally like his “restore honor” to America rally scheduled on the anniversary of Martin Luther King’s “I Have A Dream Speech” … and nobody will show up.

My Dream For Glenn Beck … And America (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh, I have a dream for Glenn Beck:
That he’ll lose his unending blank check
To spread mad, evil lies
That are greeted as wise,
When they’re really insidious dreck.

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Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Speeches Satire, Tea Parties, Washington, Wingnuts | 7 Comments »

Kick-Ass Limerick

Thursday, June 10th, 2010

The language police are at it again. Republicans and Fox News (sorry to be redundant) are simply horrified at President Obama’s “unpresidential” language.

What are they so pretend-upset about? Obama used the word ass in response to Matt Lauer’s oil crisis question about kicking butt.

Apparently this is extremely shocking to the same folks who had no problem with f**ks from Bush, Cheney, and McCain.

That brings me to my latest limerick:

Kick-Ass Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans’ delicate ears
Are offended by ass, it appears.
F**k is fine from McCain,
Bush, and Cheney — that’s plain.
But ass from Barack begets jeers.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Etiquette Humor, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, John McCain, Language Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 5 Comments »

Unreal American Stories

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

I was glad to see that Sarah Palin’s Fox News Special did just so-so in the ratings. And I was amused that her just-pretend interviews with LL Cool J (which ended up being pulled) and Toby Keith drew objections from her non-interviewees. After all, if you’re going to do a show called Real American Stories, there should be something … uh … real about it.

And now, yet another Sarah Palin limerick:

Unreal American Stories
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin’s show was a snooze on TV.
Even fans did not find it must-see.
Plus pretending to talk
With celebs made them squawk.
And recycling old footage? Ennui!

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Posted in Entertainment Humor, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Sarah Palin, Television (TV) Satire | 4 Comments »

Political April Fools’ Day

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Political April Fools’ Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

April Fools’ Day is coming. Beware!
Cuz it’s practical joke time. Prepare!
Don’t assume something’s frank,
Though perhaps as a prank,
Fox News will be balanced and fair.

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Posted in Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on Political April Fools’ Day

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11” Giuliani Loses His Mind

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

It was silly enough when Bush-defender Dana Perino, while appearing on Sean Hannity’s TV show, claimed there were no domestic terror attacks under George W. Bush. Then there was Mary Matalin’s more subtle lie: Bush “inherited the most tragic attack on our own soil in our nation’s history.”

But the third time clearly makes it a Republican talking point. On Good Morning America, Rudy Giuliani spouted this falsehood to George Stephanopoulos: “We had no domestic attacks under Bush. We’ve had one under Obama.”

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11” Giuliani Loses His Mind
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans looking to ream
Prez Obama have launched an odd meme.
The Bush-Cheney reign
Suffered no terror pain.
It seems Nine-One-One’s only a dream.

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Posted in Dana Perino, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, George Stephanopoulos, GOP Humor, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Publicity Hounds, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani, Sean Hannity Limerick, Terrorism | Comments Off on Rudy “Noun and a Verb and a 9-11” Giuliani Loses His Mind

Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

Up until now, I’ve avoided writing about Tiger Woods’ serial philandering. But Brit Hume’s outrageous comments leave me no choice. According to Hume, if Tiger Woods wants forgiveness, he must convert from Buddhism to Christianity:

Tiger Woods should turn his back on Buddhism and become a Christian to be forgiven for cheating on his wife, Hume told Fox News’ Chris Wallace Sunday.

“The extent to which he can recover seems to me depends on his faith,” said Hume. “He is said to be a Buddhist. I don’t think that faith offers the kind of redemption and forgiveness offered by the Christian faith. My message to Tiger is, Tiger turn to the Christian faith and you can make a total recovery and be a great example to the world.”

You can watch the charming video over at Crooks and Liars.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Telling Tiger To Convert Just Ain’t Kosher
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Tiger Woods’ rep has really been hurt.
Hume’s solution? The guy should convert:
Be a Buddhist no more —
Enter Christian faith’s door.
Get redemption for chasing each skirt.

Related Posts: Fuming About Hume; and Petraeus and Crocker Face Hume Humiliation

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Posted in Brit Hume, Chris Wallace, Family Values Humor, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Non-Political Humor, Non-Political Verse, Religious Satire, Scandals Humor, Television (TV) Satire, Tiger Woods | 5 Comments »

Bowing … And Scraping Bottom

Wednesday, November 18th, 2009

Fox News and all the usual wingnut suspects are simply horrified because President Obama, in a show of diplomatic courtesy, bowed to Emperor Akihito of Japan. This was a shocking and unprecedented show of weakness and subservience, according to sundry Obama bashers, including Karl Rove, Steve Doocy, and Dick Cheney.

It seems only Republican Presidents are allowed such bows (Richard Nixon to Japanese Emperor Hirohito, Dwight Eisenhower to Charles De Gaulle).

But as far as I’m concerned, President Obama can bow to as many foreign leaders as he likes. Although perhaps he should leave the Saudi Prince lip-kissing and hand-holding to George W. Bush.

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Bowing … And Scraping Bottom
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kissing princes and hand-holding’s fine
For a Prez on the GOP line.
But a bow from Obama
To emp’rors — what drama!
Such nonsense, this sham wingnut-whine.

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Posted in Barack Obama, Diplomacy Humor, Foreign Policy, Fox News Humor, George Bush Satire, Hypocrisy Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »

“Short On Facts” Fox

Saturday, October 31st, 2009

One of the silliest Republican (and Fox News) talking points is that the Democratic health reform bill is too long. Fox News Live Desk’s Trace Gallagher seems especially fond of it, making repeated (and inaccurate) comparisons to Tolstoy’s War and Peace. (Well, we always knew that Fox is fond of fiction.)

“Short On Facts” Fox (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When on substance your grasp just ain’t strong,
Simply bitch that the health bill’s too long.
“War and Peace is much shorter,”
Rants Trace (Fox “reporter”),
And even on that Fox is wrong.

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Posted in Fox News Humor, Health Satire, Legislation Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | Comments Off on “Short On Facts” Fox

Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

I may be a non-practicing Jew, but I’m deeply offended by Glenn Beck’s attempt to co-opt and politicize Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the Jewish year.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Glenn Beck, Keep Your Grubby Paws Off Yom Kippur
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Beck, you are bad to the bone,
So it’s time that you start to atone.
And stop trying to steal
Jewish holy days. Heel!
Kindly leave all my people alone.

UPDATE: Don Davis says: Forget Yom Kippur, Glenn Beck Declares A National Circumcision Day.

Related Post: Bill O’Reilly’s Faux War On Christmas — Song Parody

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Posted in Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire | 1 Comment »

Chris Wallace Feels Dissed

Saturday, September 19th, 2009

Poor Chris Wallace has been whining to Bill O’Reilly about Fox News Sunday not getting an Obama interview. Apparently Obama’s making a huge mistake in refusing to be interviewed by such a fair fellow.

My favorite part of the video is where Wallace calls Obama’s White House, “The biggest bunch of crybabies I have dealt with in my 30 years in Washington.”

Yup, sounds “fair and balanced” to me.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Chris Wallace Feels Dissed
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Chris Wallace is feeling left out—
No Obama appearance to tout.
Wallace swears on the air:
He’s not Beck. He is fair
To those “crybabies.” Why would we doubt?

Related Post: Fox Pundits At Sea

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Posted in Bill O'Reilly, Chris Wallace, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Washington, White House | 1 Comment »

Hannity Insanity

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Few people are better at creating a Krauthammer-lauded “alternate reality” than Fox’s Sean Hannity. Columnist Dick Polman provides an excellent example:

On his Fox show one week ago, Sean Hannity told his credulous fans that President Obama had made a deliberate effort during his Cairo speech “to give 9/11 sympathizers a voice on the world stage.” … Hannity even backed up his reporting by airing a video clip from the speech, with Obama saying: “I am aware that there are still some that would question or even justify the events of 9/11.”

…

… Hannity’s video clip of Obama was truncated after that single quoted sentence, omitting everything that followed. Here’s what Obama said next, none of which was aired for the Fox viewers:

“But let us be clear. Al Qaeda killed nearly 3000 people on that day. The victims were innocent men, women and children from America and many other nations who had done nothing to harm anybody. And yet al Qaeda chose to ruthlessly murder these people … These are not opinions to be debated; these are facts to be dealt with.” …

For that outrageous deception alone, Sean Hannity deserves a limerick:

Hannity Insanity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a fellow named Hannity
Who strutted and showed off his vanity.
From his Fox chair he lied,
Took his fans for a ride,
And showed utter disdain for humanity.

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Posted in 9/11 Satire, Foreign Policy, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Sean Hannity Verse, Terrorism | 6 Comments »

Ode To Fresh Faces

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.

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Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »

Fox Pundits At Sea

Monday, April 13th, 2009

Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong.

Such, thankfully, was the case with the loony rantings indulged in by Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck and sundry Fox News personalities who “bet against the Obama administration’s ability to rescue Richard Phillips, the American ship captain who was taken hostage by Somali pirates.”

How those Fox nuts salivated in anticipation of Obama’s failure! And how disappointed they must surely be in the wake of Phillips’ rescue after the Obama-authorized killing of three pirates.

I, for one, don’t expect any gracious apologies any time soon. Do you?

Fox Pundits At Sea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Obama’s been tested and won.
Three pirates were killed with a gun.
Now will loons who foretold
That he’d fail to be bold
Say they’re sorry, congrats, job well done?

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Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Fox Pundits At Sea

Fuming About Hume

Sunday, March 22nd, 2009

What delicious irony — Brit Hume bitching about blogger partisanship. And then thanking rightwingers Brent Bozell and the Media Research Center “for the tremendous amount of material that the Media Research Center provided me for so many years when I was anchoring Special Report. I don’t know what we would have done without them.”

Fuming About Hume (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The blogs are a threat to the news
Cuz they’re slanted, says Hume, in their views.
A fellow from Fox
Casting “partisan” knocks?
To Hume I must say, “Brit, j’accuse.”

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Posted in Brit Hume, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »

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