If Trump could write limericks:
Dear nations, both friendly and not,
I need dirt. Send me all that you’ve got.
You’ll be might’ly rewarded,
If Dems are all thwarted.
Name your price. I am easily bought.
Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category
If Trump Could Write Limericks
Thursday, June 13th, 2019Open Limerick To Joe Biden
Wednesday, June 12th, 2019I joked, yesterday, that because Biden called Trump an “existential threat,” dictionaries were bracing for the existential threat of site crashes.
But apparently I’m not quite through with the topic. So here’s my limerick:
Dear Joe: Dumping Donald’s essential.
His evil’s widespread — pestilential.
He’s a “threat existential,”
His wrongs, consequential.
But the use of big words? Unprudential!
Press Coverage Matters (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 11th, 2019New York Times Headline: “Elizabeth Warren Has Lots of Plans. Together, They Would Remake the Economy.”
Some regard Warren’s planning with boredom.
Others cheer her. Some say: “Can’t afford ’em!”
Hill had detailed plans too
But, alas, few folks knew
Cuz the media mostly ignored ’em.
I Dislike Likability (Limerick)
Sunday, May 5th, 2019Headline: “Is ‘Likability’ Biased Towards Men?”
“Likability” — what a odd word;
It appears that most any male turd
Can be deemed by the press
As more likable — yes —
Than a non-turd-like female. Absurd!
Astray (Limerick)
Saturday, February 23rd, 2019The Donald has led us astray
In ev’ry conceivable way.
Is there any path out
From under this lout?
Twenty-twenty is TOO far away!
Limerick Ode To Michael Flynn
Wednesday, December 19th, 2018“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”
If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!
Trump’s Team Of Crooks (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 18th, 2018Slate: “The DOJ has made a pretty thorough case that the Trump campaign was filled with crooks.”
Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)
Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 18th, 2018Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”
Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.
Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)
Friday, December 14th, 2018Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)
But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!
Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)
Wednesday, December 5th, 2018Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”
Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.
Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)
Tuesday, December 4th, 2018Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack”
Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.
That Pesky Emoluments Clause (Limerick)
Monday, December 3rd, 2018Headline: “DC, Md. officials ready with subpoenas in Trump hotel case”
The emoluments case marches on
With subpoenas to prove Donald’s con.
May the DC’s A.G.
And Maryland’s be
A success v. our President/Don.
Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)
Sunday, December 2nd, 2018Headline: “In Mueller investigation, Trump is now ‘Individual 1’”
“Individual Número 1”
(Adding “number” in Spanish for fun.)
The Donald’s been “named”
In Fed court filings, blamed
For some felonies. Donald’s undone!
Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)
GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)
Sunday, December 2nd, 2018Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction”
Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.
Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)
Monday, November 26th, 2018Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.
Yet Another Episode of “Rules Only Apply To Democrats” (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 20th, 2018Headline: Trump Dismisses Ivanka Email Story as ‘Fake News’
Remember Trump’s dominant theme?
“Lock her up!” — a Republican meme.
Where are similar rants
Re Ivanka? Those chants;
Could it be they were only a dream?
The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”
Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.
Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Stocks are fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
*************
(ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS)
Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Mueller’s fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.
Election Stress (Limerick)
Sunday, November 4th, 2018Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”
I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!
