Archive for the ‘Supreme Court’ Category

Limerick Ode To Christine Blasey Ford

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

Thanks to Peter Daou for inspiring my limerick with this tweet:

Woman reports sexual assault.
Woman gets slimed and vilified.
Woman gets called a liar and opportunist.
Woman gets death threats and is forced to leave her home.
GOP MEN: Why did she wait to come forward?

When a gal reports sexual assault,
She’s reviled and she’s slimed. Oy gevalt!
She’s sent death threats galore,
As she gets this what-for:
“Why’d you wait to speak out? You’re at fault!”

Sue Collins Only Wants To Be “Bribed” By Plutocrats (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 12th, 2018

Headline: “Collins calls crowdfunding to get her to oppose Kavanaugh a ‘bribe'”

Anti-Kavanaugh crowd-funding’s bribery?
That’s Sue Collins’ opprobrious gibery
About voters pro-choice
When raising their voice
About threats based on Kavanaugh’s scribery.

Precedent Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Sunday, July 1st, 2018

Slate Headline: “Sen. Collins: Supreme Court Nominee ‘Who Would Overturn Roe Would Not Be Acceptable’”

Rubber stampers like Collins and co
Grab a mike and then put on a show:
“I’m a precedent fan,”
They claim to a man.
Then they vote for the guy who kills Roe.

A Discordant Note (Limerick)

Saturday, June 30th, 2018

Some look at our system with awe,
But the man who keeps breaking the law
Gets to help load the court
With wingnuts who’ll thwart
Donald’s punishment. Rather a flaw!

That Mitch Is Quite A Stitch! (Limerick)

Thursday, June 28th, 2018

The Week: “Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said Wednesday that the Senate will ‘vote to confirm’ the successor of outgoing Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy ‘this fall,’ adding that ‘it’s imperative that the president’s nominee be treated fairly.'”

Mitch McConnell says Dems must be fair
When it’s time to fill Kennedy’s chair.
Forget fairness; send coal
To the Leader who stole
Our great Court. Tell that thief “This is guerre!”

Trump’s Tweet-Monitors Won’t Let Him Post This Limerick

Wednesday, February 1st, 2017

There is NO Muslim ban, and Dem tears
Are fake and deserve all our sneers!
And how dare they deplore such
A great guy as Gorsuch!
If they block him, I’ll nuke their careers!

Open Limerick To President Obama: Appoint Merrick Garland NOW! (2-Verse)

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.

Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.

Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch

Thursday, May 26th, 2016

I laughed out loud when I heard about Sen. Orrin Hatch’s Deseret News op-ed, reporting the results of a meeting with Chief Judge Merrick Garland that had yet to take place:

“Like many of my Senate colleagues, I recently met with Chief Judge Merrick Garland, President Obama’s nominee to the Supreme Court. … Our meeting, however, does not change my conviction that the Senate should consider a Supreme Court nominee after this presidential election cycle,” Hatch wrote in an op-ed published on the website of the Deseret News early Thursday morning and later removed. It remains available in a Google database.

Dear Orrin, it isn’t a race
To report on a meeting you’ll face.
And it’s best not to claim
It did NOT change your game
When that meeting has yet to take place.

Clarence Thomas Speaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 1st, 2016

CNN 2/29/16 Headline: “Justice Clarence Thomas breaks 10-year streak, asks question in court.” (The issue before the court was whether a domestic assault conviction based on reckless conduct qualifies as a misdemeanor crime of domestic violence that would block firearm possession.)

Clarence Thomas can talk, after all;
Once famed for a decade-long haul
Of no-questions-in-court,
Now that Nino is mort,
He is having a gun-query ball.

Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.

Could The Birthers Be Right About Cruz? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 12th, 2016

How ironic! According to Harvard law professor Laurence Tribe, the very type of constitutional “originalist” judge that Ted Cruz says he’d appoint to the U.S. Supreme Court, is the very sort of judge who’d deem Cruz unqualified to be president by reason of his Canadian birthplace.

Trump’s Birther attack on Ted Cruz
Seemed, at first, like some dumb Donald news.
But a judge of the sort
Ted Cruz likes would retort:
“Call Cruz ‘natural born?’ I refuse!”

Here’s Tribe, as quoted by The Guardian:

“…the kind of judge Cruz says he admires and would appoint to the supreme court – an ‘originalist’ who claims to be bound by the historical meaning of the constitution’s terms at the time of their adoption – Cruz wouldn’t be eligible because the legal principles that prevailed in the 1780s and 90s required that someone be born on US soil to be a ‘natural born’ citizen.”

“Even having two US parents wouldn’t suffice for a genuine originalist. And having just an American mother, as Cruz did, would clearly have been insufficient at a time that made patrilineal descent decisive…”

Scalia (Song Parody To Leonard Bernstein’s Maria, from West Side Story)

Monday, July 6th, 2015

Though I already wrote an Antonin Scalia limerick today, I’m itching for more. So I composed these song parody lyrics to the tune of “Maria.”

Now Scalia/Maria does sound obvious. So I’m surely not the first to use “Maria” to parody Scalia. But I don’t want to do a Google search, lest I be inadvertently influenced by someone else’s lyrics.

And with that disclaimer out of the way, here’s my parody:

Scalia,
The jiggery-pok’ry Scalia,
Treats justice like a game,
The worst judge I can name, you see.

Scalia,
The wingnutty jurist, Scalia,
Demands the final word
With phrases so absurd, to me.

Scalia,
When he loses a case, he’s sulking,
And his presence is always so hulking.

Scalia,
The nastiest Justice, Scalia.

Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, etc.

Scalia,
Pitches disses, instead of reason,
Disagreements with him — treats like treason.

Scalia,
That sore-losing, pompous Scalia.

The most odious person on that Court:

Scalia!

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, July 6th, 2015

If you follow the U.S. Supreme Court, you know that Justice Scalia ended the term by hurling some colorful, spoiled-bratty insults at his fellow judges. His behavior was so over-the-top, that Slate created The Antonin Scalia “Sick Burn” Generator, an insult creator packed with Scalia-isms.

This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?

Using lingo arcane and absurd,
Scalia must have the last word:
Gives “the bird” to his peers
With “pure apple sauce” jeers
He’s a “jiggery-pokery” turd.

Open Limerick To “Licensing Clerks” Offended By Gay Marriage

Tuesday, June 30th, 2015

Open Limerick To “Licensing Clerks” Offended By Gay Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re a county employee devout?
There’s a law your religion says, “Flout?”
Well, a licensing clerk
Just can’t shirk certain work.
License gay folks to wed … or get out!

Supreme Surprise (Limerick)

Monday, October 6th, 2014

Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The SCOTUS has caused quite a din
Over gay marriage rights. Is it sin
Or just fine for the states
To say gays can be mates?
Its response is “We shouldn’t mix in.”

Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 24th, 2014

Happy 225th birthday to the U.S. Supreme Court! (On Sept. 24, 1789 President George Washington signed the
Judiciary Act of 1789, which created a Supreme Court with six justices.)

Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems today marks the birth of a court,
The court of supreme last resort.
Chief Justice John Jay
Ran it back in the day.
I just wish it would do what it ort.

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia

Monday, April 21st, 2014

I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:

Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.

Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”

Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.

Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)

Monday, April 7th, 2014

Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the wealthy will publicly cheer
As campaign regs get knocked on their rear,
Some privately groan:
“No limits?” they moan.
“Buying pols is becoming too dear!”

Note from Mad Kane: Although I concocted that quote, it may be closer to the truth than you think. Here’s The Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol, who argued on ABC’s This Week “that not every wealthy donor will embrace the outcome of the McCutcheon case, because they may now be obliged to give more:”

“All the donors I know hate this decision, of course,” he said. “This used to be a very good excuse to say to a candidate, ooh, I’m maxing out, I just can’t help your campaign.”

Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)

Thursday, April 3rd, 2014

Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Remember “one person, one vote?”
Now “one dollar, one vote’s” what they wrote;
Yes, the U.S. Supremes
Favor money — in reams,
As the rich grab free speech by the throat.

Thanks to the New Yorker’s John Cassidy, for inspiring this limerick with his acerbic comment about McCutcheon v. FEC:

But Wednesday’s decision, once again a five-to-four ruling, represented another significant step away from the antiquated principle of “one person, one vote” toward the more modern, and utilitarian, notion of “one dollar, one vote.”

Supreme Priorities (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014

If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.

As Ari Berman astutely observes:

The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.

Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.