Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
I’ve heard some twisted rationalizations over the years. But Rush Limbaugh’s attempt at blaming Obama for Mark Sanford’s failings really takes the cake.
A double limerick, just for Rush Limbaugh:
De-Moralized?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rush claims that Obama’s to blame
For Sanford’s disgrace and his shame:
The stimulus bill
Destroyed Sanford’s will.
Wow, even for Limbaugh, that’s lame.
When a Democrat strays — no excuse!
Just right-wing attacks and abuse.
But conservative sins
Are spinned — turned to wins.
Try to reason with Rush? It’s no use!
Tags: Democrats, Hypocrisy, Limbaugh, Mark Sanford, Media, Obama, Philanderers, Radio, Republicans Humor, Scandals, Sins, Stimulus, Talk Shows, Womanizers
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Family Values Humor, Fiscal Policy, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
Life would be ever so much easier, if only RNC Chairman Michael Steele had Barack Obama’s gig. For instance, we’d be able to solve our health care problems in a nanosecond:
STEELE: So if it’s a cost problem, it’s easy: Get the people in a room who have the most and the most direct impact on cost, and do the deal. Do the deal. It’s not that complicated.
If it’s an access question, people don’t have access to health care, then figure out who they are, and give them access! Hello?! Am I missing something here? …
And so it’s time for yet another Michael Steele limerick:
Steeley Plan For Health Care
By Madeleine Begun Kane
U.S. health reform’s easy, says Steele.
Simply get in a room — do the deal.
Whether access or cost
Is the problem, accost
Those involved, do the deal, and get real.
Tags: Health Reform, Negotiation, RNC, Steele
Posted in Health Satire, Michael Steele, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, June 23rd, 2009
I don’t know what’s weirder — the fact that South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s been missing since Thursday, or that his wife doesn’t seem at all worried.
Mark Sanford — Lost? Or Losing It? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gov. Sanford — oh let’s call him Mark —
Has left his whole state in the dark.
He’s gone missing, they say.
Can they reach him? No way!
Is he nuts, or just lost in some park?
Update: Here’s my favorite rumor about South Carolina’s missing governor: Mark Sanford may have been hiking naked.
Update 2: Now that Governor Sanford’s fessed up to an Argentinean tryst, I’ve written him another limerick.
Tags: Mark Sanford, South Carolina
Posted in Governors Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 4th, 2009
Republicans have no shortage of things to fulminate about. One of their favorites? The General Motors bankruptcy:
Bankrupt Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An auto co known as GM
In the past was considered a gem.
It’s in bankruptcy now.
Will that hurt? Yes, and how!
But the GOP’s goal? Blame the Dem!
(You can find my lighter car humor columns and limericks here.)
Tags: Automobiles, Bankruptcy, Blame, Cars, Democrats, Economy, Finance, General Motors, GM, GOP, Law Satire, Money, Obama, Republicans Humor, Values
Posted in Automobiles Satire, Barack Obama, Blame Game, Business Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Bankrupt Values
Wednesday, May 27th, 2009
It’s simple enough to avoid Judge Sonia Sotomayor smear-tweets like these:
White man racist nominee would be forced to withdraw. Latina woman racist should also withdraw.
Imagine a judicial nominee said “my experience as a white man makes me better than a latina woman” new racism is no better than old racism.
Just be sure not to follow Newt Gingrich’s Twitter feed.
If only it were as easy to dodge Newt on TV, in print, and on the Net.
And that brings me to my latest song parody, which you can sing to Hark! The Herald Angels Sing:
Hark! The Disgraced Former Speaker Speaks.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Hark! The former Speaker speaks.
Headlines, Speaker Gingrich seeks.
News cos eagerly come through.
They don’t care his claims ain’t true.
Gleefully he airs his lies,
Spreading venom, media buys.
Watch the ousted Newt proclaim,
Sonia is just a racist dame.
Darkly, Gingrich spews his views.
Can’t avoid him on the news.
Tags: Judiciary Satire, Latina, Law Satire, Lies, Media, News, Newt Gingrich, Obama Nominees, Racism, Smears, Song Parody, Sonia Sotomayor, Speaker, Supreme Court, Twitter
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Sonia Sotomayor Verse, Supreme Court, Twitter | 8 Comments »
Monday, May 25th, 2009
The omni-presence of Dick and Liz Cheney on (as Rachel Maddow loves to call it) “the TV machine” is nearly enough to get me to toss out my televisions. Of course, to have even a shot at avoiding their tortured lies, I’d have to cancel my Net connection, throw out my radios, and avert my eyes in the unlikely event that I encounter a newspaper.
Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There once was a daughter named Liz
Who joined in the family biz.
The business was lying,
With all members vying
For liar-in-chief — each a wiz.
Tags: Dick Cheney Satire, Gitmo, Liars, Lies, Liz Cheney, Media, National Security, Newspapers, Rachel Maddow, Television, Torture
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Family Values Humor, Foreign Policy, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Liz Cheney, Media Satire, National Security Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rachel Maddow, Republicans Humor, Torture Humor | 8 Comments »
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
It wasn’t bad enough that Sen. Jeff Sessions cited “tropical breezes” in extolling the glories of Gitmo. Now we have Sen. Jim Inhofe bragging about Gitmo’s health care — colonoscopies for inmates over fifty-five. Whoopee!
If I were British, I’d probably write this song parody:
Gitmo Prison, here I come.
Need a doc to check my bum.
But instead, I’ll have to settle for a limerick:
Ode To Tropical Breeze Colonoscopies
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m moving to Gitmo real soon
Cuz I’m told inmate health care’s a boon.
Colonoscopies free
After fifty-five. Whee!
So please lock me up, Sen. Buffoon!
Tags: Colonoscopies, Gitmo, Guantanamo Bay, Health, Inmates, Jeff Sessions, Jim Inhofe, Prisons, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire
Posted in Gitmo Humor, Inhofe Humor, Jeff Sessions, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | 4 Comments »
Monday, May 18th, 2009
I have some new competition in the political poetry arena. Apparently, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee fancies himself a poet and has written an anti-Pelosi screed in the form of a really bad poem called Fancy Nancy. Here’s a taste of Huckabee’s versification:
Here’s a story about a lady named Nancy
A ruthless politician, but dressed very fancy
Very ambitious, she got herself elected Speaker
But as for keeping secrets, she proved quite a “leaker.”
***
If forced to believe whether the CIA and her colleagues in Congress are lying;
Or it’s Speaker Pelosi whose credibility and career is dying.
I believe in the integrity of the men and women who sacrifice to keep us safe;
Not the woman who has been caught flat-footed, lying to our face.
***
Mike Huckabee deserves a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode to Mike “The Poet” Huckabee
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Huck, you’ve no rhythm or rhyme,
And your verse about Nancy’s a crime.
Your ditty ain’t witty.
Your talent is bitty.
Your poetry’s awful. Try mime.
Tags: Bad Poetry, CIA, Congress Humor, Mike Huckabee, Nancy Pelosi
Posted in Mike Huckabee, Pelosi Verse, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, May 16th, 2009
Republicans are truly gifted at changing the subject, and the media falls for it every time. Take CIA torture, for instance. Is the media focusing on who in the Bush administration broke the law and ordered torture? Of course not! Instead, the topic’s morphed into whether Nancy Pelosi is lying when she says the CIA misled Congress about torture.
Following Republican logic is never an easy task. But from what I can gather, here’s the Republican position: Bush’s CIA did nothing wrong, & Pelosi could have and should have stopped them.
In honor of the Republicans tortured position on torture, I’ve written them a theme song to the tune of Stephen Foster’s Camptown Races:
The “We Did Nothing Wrong, & Nancy Should Have Stopped Us” Song
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA did nothing wrong.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew and went along.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture is always right.
Torture can make our day.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
She could have got in the way.
Interrogation must be tough.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
Pelosi knew we got too rough.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Never did break no laws.
Torture? Who, us? No way!
Pelosi’s nothing but a lying hag.
Nancy would lead you astray.
The CIA protects us all.
Doo-da, Doo-da.
It’s time Pelosi took the fall.
Oh, de doo-da day.
Torture was never done.
Torture is lots of fun.
And Nancy’s nothing but a lying nag.
Nancy Pelosi should pay.
Tags: Bush, CIA, Congress Humor, Interrogation, Media, Music, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans Humor, Song Parody, Stephen Foster, Torture, Waterboarding
Posted in CIA Satire, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Iraq War Humor, Media Satire, Pelosi Verse, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies | 4 Comments »
Thursday, May 14th, 2009
Republicans (and Joe Lieberman) have been staging yet another temper tantrum. What’s their grievance du jour? Speaker Nancy Pelosi said CIA leaders misled Congress about interrogation techniques.
My Homage To Feigned Outrage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The CIA’s under attack
By the Speaker who gave it a smack.
She accused it of lying.
The GOP’s crying:
She’s mean and must take it all back.
Tags: CIA, Congress Humor, Feigned Outrage, Interrogation, Lieberman, Lies, Nancy Pelosi, Republicans Humor, Torture, Waterboarding
Posted in CIA Satire, Congress Humor, GOP Humor, House Satire, Iraq War Humor, Joe Lieberman, Pelosi Verse, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Torture Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
It sounds like Texas Congressman Pete Sessions could use some … uh … sessions on somebody’s couch.
… Representative Pete Sessions of Texas, may indeed face an uphill fight with his argument that Mr. Obama is not trying to create jobs. In an interview, Mr. Sessions cited rising unemployment in asserting that the administration intended to “diminish employment and diminish stock prices” as part of a “divide and conquer” strategy to consolidate power.
Ode To The Wingnutty Pete Sessions
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Texas Republican Sessions
Likes to conjure up lib’ral transgressions:
Claims Barack to build power
Made stocks and jobs sour.
Pete needs help from the head-shrink professions.
Tags: Employment, Obama, Pete Sessions, Republicans Humor, Stocks, Texas
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Pete Sessions, Political Limericks, Republicans Humor, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, May 12th, 2009
President Obama recently used the e-word in connection with his yet-to-be-named U.S. Supreme Court nominee, and the Republicans were (or pretended to be) horrified. Senator Orrin Hatch claimed empathy was a “code word for an activist judge”, while the ever-entertaining Michael Steele said in his inimitable, classy fashion, “I’ll give you empathy. Empathize right on your behind!”
But while many Democrats were outraged by Republican reaction, I’m empathetic enough to appreciate where they’re coming from:
Empathy is such an ugly word:
Injudicious moral flaw.
Empathy is totally absurd
And violates the rule of law.
(With my apologies to Billy Joel)
(My previous (and full length) song parody to this song is here.)
Tags: Activist Judge, Empathy. Republicans, GOP, Judges, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Obama, Orrin Hatch, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Michael Steele, Music Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Song Parodies, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 11th, 2009
Dick Cheney refuses to crawl back into his undisclosed location … and Democrats rejoice:
Which Veep Talks Too Much?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Dick, thanks for talking non-stop
And for ruining the GOP’s op
To convince normal folks
That they aren’t all jokes.
Keep ensuring their “rebrand” will flop.
Tags: Cheney, Democrats, GOP, Rebranding, Republican Rebranding, Republicans Humor
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Which Veep Talks Too Much?
Monday, May 11th, 2009
Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh have been having quite the love fest lately. Of course, they’ve always been in bed together:
Dick and Rush,
And Rush and Dick—
The only real Republicans.
They really click.
The soulless man for Dick is Rush,
And Rush for Dick.
Love lying together.
(My apologies to the The Turtles.)
Tags: Cheney, Liars, Limbaugh, Media, Radio, Republicans Humor, Talk Shows, TV
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Media Satire, Music Humor, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Song Parodies | 2 Comments »
Friday, May 8th, 2009
Ode To Fresh Faces
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican planning is plain.
They want to rebrand, they explain.
So on Sunday’s TV
New faces we’ll see:
Folks like Cheney and Newt and McCain.
Tags: Cheney, Face The Nation, Fox News Sunday, Gingrich, McCain, Media, Rebranding, Republican Rebranding, Stephanopoulos, Talk Shows, Television, TV
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, Fox News Humor, GOP Humor, John McCain, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Wednesday, May 6th, 2009
Newsflash via a Republican video ad: Obama is endangering the U.S. by consorting with foreign leaders like Venezuela’s Hugo Chavez and Saudi King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz.
Oooooh! Handshakes! Scary!
Quaking Over Handshakes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re endangered, the GOP says,
By a handshake with Hugo Chavez.
Seems the nation Bush left
Is wholly bereft
And too weak for some pics with the Prez.
Tags: Foreign Leaders, Hugo Chavez, King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz, Media, National Security, Obama Bow, Obama Handshake, Photo Ops, Republican Video Ads, Republicans Humor, Saudi Arabia, Venezuela
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Ads, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Quaking Over Handshakes
Sunday, May 3rd, 2009
Nothing brings out Republican hypocrisy like a nice, juicy U.S. Supreme Court vacancy. Take Karl Rove, for instance, on Obama’s potential nominees to replace Justice David Souter:
Karl Rove rails against the possible nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor because “her opinions…have been very liberal.” But when Sandra Day O’Connor retired, Rove said the opposition has a responsibility to approve judges who are qualified, even if they disagree with their views.
And that brings me to my latest double limerick:
Karl’s Roving Standards
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rove’s memory’s certainly short.
Back when dealing with names for the Court,
He said Dems must not nix
Any Bush judgeship picks
Based on views that they failed to support.
But now that the tables are turned,
He says Dem nominees must be spurned
If Republicans think
That their politics stink.
Consistency? Karl? Unconcerned!
Tags: Bush, David Souter, Hypocrisy, Judiciary Satire, Karl Rove, Obama, Republicans Humor, Sandra Day O’Connor, Sotomayor, Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Hypocrisy Humor, Karl Rove, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 6 Comments »
Sunday, April 26th, 2009
On Thursday, Obama sent the filibuster-happy Republicans a message: Their zero-vote obstructionism has consequences. More specifically, Obama plans to use the budget reconciliation process to enact health care reform and student loan legislation if the GOP fails to mend its obstructionist ways.
I thought I’d celebrate Obama’s filibuster-proofing plans with a double limerick:
They Only Have Themselves To Blame
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bipartisanship had a chance.
But the GOP zero-vote stance
Was very instructive.
Their actions obstructive
Derailed any two-party dance.
They’ve clearly expressed their intent,
So as much as they scream and they vent,
We should screw the minority.
Let the majority
Govern how money is spent.
Tags: Bipartisanship, Budget, Budget Reconciliation, Congress Humor, Filibuster, GOP, Health Care, Majority, Minority, Obstructionism, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Student Loans
Posted in Barack Obama, Congress Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, House Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Tax & Budget Humor | Comments Off on They Only Have Themselves To Blame
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009All the explanations for Gov. Mark Sanford’s absence — the recharging, the writing, the catching up on projects, the naked Appalachian Trail hiking — are officially inoperative. Come to think of it, Sanford did take a hike — from his obligations to his wife and family and to his constituents.
A secret Argentinean affair! Wow! You have to give the righteous Republican Brownie points for creativity:
Mark Sanford’s Trail … Of Hypocrisy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The myst’ry of Sanford is solved.
We have learned an affair is involved.
Argentinean tryst!
Now that’s quite a twist.
Say goodbye to his Prez hopes. Dissolved!
Tags: Affairs, Argentina, Governors, Hypocrisy, Mark Sanford, Philanderers, Republicans Humor, Scandals, South Carolina, Womanizers
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Governors Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mark Sanford, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, South Carolina Humor | 4 Comments »