Archive for the ‘Politics Satire’ Category
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009
How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »
Sunday, April 19th, 2009
My latest double limerick, written in an antibiotic haze and inspired by Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s secession talk brouhaha:
Yet Another Ode To Republican Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Under Bush left-dissent equaled treason.
So Republicans claimed without reason.
Now Obama is prez
(A commie Chavez)
And secession is righteous — not teasin’.
Yes Gov. Perry and co. say it’s fine —
This unconstitutional whine:
Secede cuz Barack
Is a Europy Jacques.
Then they pray to Ron Reagan. Divine!
Tags: Constitution, Dissent, Obama, Reagan Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Secession, Texas Humor, Treason
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Perry, Ronald Reagan, Texas Humor, Wingnuts | 8 Comments »
Monday, April 13th, 2009
Fox News “pundit” rants always look foolish, especially when they’re packed with gleeful predictions of Democratic failures. And most especially when their predictions turn out to be dramatically wrong.
Such, thankfully, was the case with the loony rantings indulged in by Newt Gingrich, Glenn Beck and sundry Fox News personalities who “bet against the Obama administration’s ability to rescue Richard Phillips, the American ship captain who was taken hostage by Somali pirates.”
How those Fox nuts salivated in anticipation of Obama’s failure! And how disappointed they must surely be in the wake of Phillips’ rescue after the Obama-authorized killing of three pirates.
I, for one, don’t expect any gracious apologies any time soon. Do you?
Fox Pundits At Sea (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Obama’s been tested and won.
Three pirates were killed with a gun.
Now will loons who foretold
That he’d fail to be bold
Say they’re sorry, congrats, job well done?
Tags: Cable, Fox, Gingrich, Glenn Beck, Media, Obama, Predictions, Pundits, Richard Phillips, Somali Pirates
Posted in Barack Obama, Blame Game, Fox News Humor, Glenn Beck Satire, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire, Transportation Safety, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Fox Pundits At Sea
Sunday, April 12th, 2009
At long last, we have an answer to these burning questions: What kind of dog will Obama get daughters Malia and Sasha, and when will he get it? From a plethora of breathless press reports we learn that it’s a male Portuguese water dog puppy named Bo with a Kennedy pedigree.
Next on the press agenda? World peace. But first, a limerick:
Dogged Journalism
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There’s a new White House dog. Stop the presses!
Yes, at last there’s an end to the guesses:
What dog will Obama
Acquire? Next drama:
Just who will clean puppy Bo’s messes?
Tags: Bo, First Dog, Journalism, Kennedy, Malia & Sasha, Media, Obama, Portuguese Water Dog, Press, White House Dog
Posted in Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, White House | 6 Comments »
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
I’m a bit late on the “Asians should change their names” story. But I do have the “on vacation” and “under the weather” excuse.
Texas state representative Betty Brown (R-Terrell, in North Texas) caused a ruckus on Tuesday by saying, during testimony about voter ID legislation, that Asians would have an easier time of getting along if they simply changed their names.
“Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?”
If anyone deserves a double limerick, it’s Rep. Betty Brown:
Seeing Red Over Rep. Betty Brown
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your name hails from Asia, it’s hard.
So don’t bitch if your ballot is barred.
Said Rep. Brown, “Change your name,”
Cuz your name is to blame
For confusing us. What a canard!
Please take heed if your name’s Cho or Wu,
And here’s what I think you should do:
Simply pity Rep. Brown.
She’s a prejudiced clown.
La femme est chauvine et sans clue.
Tags: Asians, Betty Brown, Chinese, Immigrants, Immigration Humor, Name Changes, Texas, Voter ID
Posted in Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Texas Humor, Voting Satire | 6 Comments »
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
I, for one, thoroughly enjoyed the House Republicans’ number-free budget. And I’m looking forward to the expanded version they’ve promised for next week — the one that won’t have any letters in it either.
Republican Road To Remedial Math (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The purported Republican budget
Has no numbers, so how can we judge it?
There’s no dollars or sense
In this PR offense.
It appears they decided to fudge it.
Tags: Budget, GOP, PR, Remedial Math, Republicans Humor
Posted in Congress Humor, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, March 25th, 2009
After President Obama’s outstanding performance during his second primetime press conference, the AP’s Ron Fournier had some column inches to fill. So, what words of wisdom did he share in his “news analysis?” Obama really “likes to have [his words] up on the Teleprompter.”
How nice to know we can count on Fournier to perpetuate the “Obama can’t talk without his Teleprompter crutch” rubbish. Apparently, poor Ron can’t write without a nonsensical meme:
Ode To Ron Fournier (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Ron, you have nothing to say.
But, alas, you’re on deadline today.
Just continue a meme
Like that lame prompter theme.
Maybe someday you’ll merit your pay.
Tags: AP, Deadlines, Media, Memes, News Conference, Obama, Press Conference, Ron Fournier, Teleprompter, Television
Posted in AP Humor, Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Press Conferences, Ron Fournier, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
Some Republicans think Dick Cheney’s making things worse for their party. Don’t believe me? Here’s an email I managed to swipe from Cheney’s in-box:
Dear Dick Cheney, return to your cave.
The GOP’s health is quite grave,
And you’re making things worse.
Write a book or some verse
Till such time as you learn to behave.
Tags: Cheney, GOP, Republicans Humor
Posted in Dick Cheney Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, March 24th, 2009
I could have sworn that Obama’s 60 Minutes interview was both serious and informative. But I guess that’s what happens when you watch something yourself, instead of relying on press accounts. Silly me! Somehow I missed the part where Obama laughed it up over our economic hardship.
On the other hand, perhaps it’s because it NEVER HAPPENED!
Yes, there was a bit of gallows humor in the course of Steve Kroft’s interview with the President. But the laughter-police media has completely mischaracterized the President’s demeanor.
And that brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To The Laughter-Police
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Watch the press-buzzards busily mocking:
“The President laughed — oh, how shocking!”
Distortion’s their game
As they try to place blame.
Wake me up when there’s something worth knocking.
Tags: 60 Minutes, Bush, CBS, Economy, Gallows Humor, Interview, Laughter, Media, Obama, Punch Drunk, Steve Kroft
Posted in Barack Obama, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire | 5 Comments »
Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
I’d hoped that Maureen Dowd was all done with her Michelle Obama biceps obsession. But apparently not. In her latest column, Dowd insinuates that Michelle’s “sinewy arms” belong in the Oval.
Dear Maureen Dowd, I Don’t Like Your Tone
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Maureen, please I’m begging, enough!
Yes, the First Lady’s biceps are buff.
But I really don’t need
To constantly read
About “sinewy arms.” Stop the fluff!
Tags: Biceps, Clothing, Fashion, Fashion Police, First Lady, Maureen Dowd, Media, Michelle Obama, New York Times, Op Eds, Oval Office, Sinewy Arms
Posted in Appearance Humor, Barack Obama, Gender Politics, Maureen Dowd, Media Satire, Michelle Obama, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Social Satire, White House | 2 Comments »
Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
What delicious irony — Brit Hume bitching about blogger partisanship. And then thanking rightwingers Brent Bozell and the Media Research Center “for the tremendous amount of material that the Media Research Center provided me for so many years when I was anchoring Special Report. I don’t know what we would have done without them.”
Fuming About Hume (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The blogs are a threat to the news
Cuz they’re slanted, says Hume, in their views.
A fellow from Fox
Casting “partisan” knocks?
To Hume I must say, “Brit, j’accuse.”
Tags: Bias, Bloggers, Brent Bozell, Brit Hume Humor, Fox, Irony, Media, Media Research Center, MRC, News, Partisanship
Posted in Brit Hume, Fox News Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Wingnuts | 2 Comments »
Friday, March 20th, 2009
President Obama was witty and entertaining on last night’s Leno appearance, and what’s the upshot? He’s forced to apologize for a self-deprecating, throwaway line comparing his bowling performance to the Special Olympics.
Obama sure is lucky he didn’t compare his basketball prowess to that of short people. Otherwise, I might have to sue him.
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Ode To The Easily Offended
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are people quite readily stressed
And appalled by the innocent jest.
Our problems are great,
Yet they’re often irate
Over nonsense. Is umbrage their quest?
Tags: Basketball, Bowling, Joke, Leno, Media, Obama, Offense, Political Correctness, Priorities, Special Olympics, Sports, Talk Show, Television, Tonight Show
Posted in Barack Obama, Entertainment Humor, Media Satire, Political Jokes & One-Liners, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Television (TV) Satire | 4 Comments »
Thursday, March 19th, 2009
I practiced law for over a dozen years and negotiated lots of contracts. And, unlike the Bush administration, I always kept my poker face. Why? Because if you want the best possible deal, you must make the other party think that he needs you more than you need him.
So, for example, when you tell banks that they’re too big to fail, you disincentivize them from cooperating, or even telling you the truth. That’s why I’m not surprised that 13 of the “top 23 private recipients of taxpayer-funded bailouts under the $700 billion program” enacted by the Bush administration “owed more than $220 million in unpaid federal taxes” and that they lied about it on their TARP contracts.
Why bother being honest? After all, it’s not as if Bush’s Treasury Department made them back up their statements with actual tax records. Of course not — they were too big to fail.
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Tough Negotiators, Those Bushies!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear bank, we can not let you fail.
You’re too big. Pay no mind if we wail
That you owe us back tax.
Do not worry. Relax!
Cuz that huge bailout check’s in the mail.
Tags: Bailout Humor, Banks, Bush, Contracts, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Lies, Negotiating, Paulson, TARP, Taxes, Taxpayers, Treasury
Posted in Banking Humor, Ben Bernanke, Business Humor, Corruption Humor, Crime, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, Henry Paulson, Law Satire, Paulson Plan, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, TARP Humor, Tax & Budget Humor, Tim Geithner | 4 Comments »
Tuesday, March 17th, 2009
The AIG bonus fiasco has been very enlightening. Giving incompetent employees huge bonuses, so they won’t resign? And with taxpayer cash yet? What a concept!
I think all of us who still have jobs should send our bosses a letter like this:
Dear Boss, Where’s My Bonus? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear boss, where’s my bonus and raise?
I expect lots of cash — no delays.
Though my work surely sucks,
I deserve all those bucks.
Ain’t it great that incompetence pays?
Tags: AIG, Bailout, Bonuses, Economy, Employment, Incompetence, Money, Workplace
Posted in Banking Humor, Business Humor, Corruption Humor, Economy Humor, Federal Reserve, Fiscal Policy, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Social Satire, Tax & Budget Humor | 7 Comments »
Monday, March 16th, 2009
The Bush-Cheney spinmeisters refuse to go away. Last week it was Ari Fleischer, and this week it’s Dana Perino on CSPAN’s Washington Journal.
Perino actually said Bush should get some credit for last week’s stock market upswing. And she falsely claimed for the gazillionth time that Bush inherited a recession from Bill Clinton.
U.S. economy as of January 20, 2001. U.S. economy as of January 20, 2009. Exactly the same, right?
Sigh… It’s time for a limerick:
Go Away Already, Bushie Spinmeisters!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Blame Barack when the stock market drops.
When it rises say Bush deserves props.
That’s Perino’s approach.
(Bush deserves no reproach.)
Yes, at double talk Dana is tops.
Tags: Ari Fleischer, Bill Clinton, Bush, CSPAN, Dana Perino, Economy, Inauguration, Media, Obama, Recession, Spinmeister, Stock Market, Washington Journal
Posted in Barack Obama, Dana Perino, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, George Bush Satire, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Spin Humor, Stock Market Humor, Washington, White House | 6 Comments »
Friday, March 13th, 2009
The stream of deceit that came pouring out of Ari Fleischer’s belligerent mouth during his Chris Matthews’ interview must surely have set some sort of record. And his calling Matthews’ “shameful” gives new meaning to the word chutzpah. Then, of course, there’s the 9/11 lie:
Fleischer: “After September 11th having been hit once how could we take a chance that Saddam might strike again? And that’s the threat that has been removed and I think we are all safer with that threat removed.”
Matthews: “I’m proud that we no longer have an administration that uses that kind argument…and the American people are too.”
This brings me to my latest limerick:
Ode To Ari Fleischer
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Ari, your lies just keep flying.
But sorry, we still are not buying.
That nine-one-one hit
Was not Saddam, you twit!
And to say so is shameful. Stop lying!
Tags: Ari Fleischer, Chris Matthews, Lies, MSNBC, nine-eleven, Saddam Hussein
Posted in 9/11 Satire, Ari Fleischer, Chris Matthews, Hypocrisy Humor, Media Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Spin Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 11th, 2009
Republicans love to attack Obama’s initiatives by claiming they’re distractions from his “fix the economy” job. Apparently, if the economy continues to tank, it’s because he wasted all that time signing an executive order opening up stem cell research.
Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Obama’s distracted. His plate
Is too full,” his detractors berate.
“His attention’s dispersed.
Put economy first.”
The problem is nothing can wait.
But Republicans don’t like his plans
And they often use indirect pans.
So research and health
Don’t relate to our wealth?
Boosting science and health — they ain’t fans.
Tags: Distraction, Economy, Full Plate, GOP, Health Care, Obama, Republicans Humor, Science Humor, Science Research, Stem Cells
Posted in Barack Obama, Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Science Verse | Comments Off on Can’t Win An Argument On The Merits? Just Use The “Distraction” Gambit.
Wednesday, March 4th, 2009
It seems Republican National Committee members are having second, third, and fourth thoughts about having named Michael Steele to be Chairman of the RNC. And it’s not just his humiliating apology to Rush Limbaugh, his mismanagement of the RNC, and a pair of ethics issues:
In just a month on the job, Steele has insisted that government jobs aren’t real jobs. He’s raised the specter of undermining moderate Republican incumbents. He’s given multiple interviews in which he’s shown humiliating confusion about the basics of public policy. His efforts to make the Republicans “off the hook” and “beyond cutting edge” are already the subject of widespread ridicule. The man, by all appearances, doesn’t have the foggiest idea what he’s doing.
So what’s my take on all this? I think Michael Steele is perfect for the job:
Steele-Buyers’ Remorse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Are Republicans starting to feel
That they erred when the named Michael Steele
As the RNC head?
(Maybe Limbaugh instead?)
Funny … Dems think that Steele is ideal.
Tags: Ethics, Limbaugh, Republicans Humor, RNC, Steele
Posted in GOP Humor, Michael Steele, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, RNC Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Washington | Comments Off on Steele-Buyers’ Remorse
Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009
Who’s in charge of the GOP? Based on all the groveling and Limbaugh-tuckus-licking, it’s surely the guy with “talent on loan from God” … even though God foreclosed over a decade ago.
And that brings me to my latest song parody … with apologies to Walt Disney, the founder of my alma mater:
Ode To GOP Grovelers
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Who’s the leader of the clubby, selfish GOP?
Steele or Rush?
(Newt won’t hush.)
They’re all the same to me.
Mickey mouse,
Mickey mouse.
How ever do they hold their heads up high?
High, high, high.
Each presumptive leader shares a callous policy.
Commonweal’s
Naught to Steele’s
And Limbaugh’s GOP.
UPDATE: The DCCC has a good sense of humor. You’re sure to have fun with its Republican Apology Machine.
Tags: Apology, Cal Arts, Gingrich, GOP, Limbaugh, Media, Mickey Mouse, Radio, Republicans Humor, Song Parody, Steele, Walt Disney
Posted in GOP Humor, Media Satire, Michael Steele, Newt Gingrich Humor, Politics Satire, Radio Humor, Republicans Humor, Rush Limbaugh, Song Parodies | 1 Comment »
Thursday, February 26th, 2009
Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX) spouted these enlightening remarks on C-SPAN today:
I don’t think we can figure out how to outlaw recessions any more than we can outlaw tornadoes or outlaw hurricanes. … Economic growth has never gone in one straight line up. It goes in a zigzag line. It’s a part of freedom. Sometimes freedom can be messy. Sometimes freedom has reversals. But it certainly beats the alternative.
Just three questions for Rep. Hensarling:
1. Are non-democracies recession-proof?
2. Are you trying to make Governor Jindal look insightful?
3. If we fight to end the recession, do the terrorists win?
Oh, and please tell me who exactly is trying to outlaw recessions. Because that phantom person may just be the only living being who out-idiots Rep. Hensarling.
Tags: Don Rumsfeld, Economy, Freedom, Jeb Hensarling, Jindal, Recession, Terrorists
Posted in Economy Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Political Commentary, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Rep. Hensarling Channels Rumsfeld
Rudy’s Family Values
Tuesday, April 21st, 2009How to become a GOP family values champion:
1. Marry your cousin.
2. Pretend you didn’t know she was your cousin.
3. Get your lengthy marriage to your mystery-cousin-wife annulled.
4. Marry someone else, have kids, then cheat on your second wife very publicly and notoriously while you’re New York City mayor.
5. Inform your wife that you want a divorce via press release.
Rudy Giuliani sounds like the perfect anti-same-sex marriage spokesman, don’t you think?
Rudy’s Family Values (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
To marry your cousin is fine.
To pretend not to know it — divine.
To flagrantly cheat
On your wife — that’s just sweet.
But same-gender marriage? Malign!
Tags: Annulments, Divorce, Family Values, Gay Marriage, Giuliani Limerick, New York City, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Family Values Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, New York Mayors, New York Politics, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rudy Giuliani | 4 Comments »