Archive for the ‘Law Satire’ Category
Monday, July 6th, 2015
Though I already wrote an Antonin Scalia limerick today, I’m itching for more. So I composed these song parody lyrics to the tune of “Maria.”
Now Scalia/Maria does sound obvious. So I’m surely not the first to use “Maria” to parody Scalia. But I don’t want to do a Google search, lest I be inadvertently influenced by someone else’s lyrics.
And with that disclaimer out of the way, here’s my parody:
Scalia,
The jiggery-pok’ry Scalia,
Treats justice like a game,
The worst judge I can name, you see.
Scalia,
The wingnutty jurist, Scalia,
Demands the final word
With phrases so absurd, to me.
Scalia,
When he loses a case, he’s sulking,
And his presence is always so hulking.
Scalia,
The nastiest Justice, Scalia.
Scalia, Scalia, Scalia, etc.
Scalia,
Pitches disses, instead of reason,
Disagreements with him — treats like treason.
Scalia,
That sore-losing, pompous Scalia.
The most odious person on that Court:
Scalia!
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Justice Antonin Scalia, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Leonard Bernstein, Maria, Music, Song Parodies, Supreme Court Humor, U.S. Supreme Court, West Side Story
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Music Humor, Song Parodies, Supreme Court | 1 Comment »
Monday, July 6th, 2015
If you follow the U.S. Supreme Court, you know that Justice Scalia ended the term by hurling some colorful, spoiled-bratty insults at his fellow judges. His behavior was so over-the-top, that Slate created The Antonin Scalia “Sick Burn” Generator, an insult creator packed with Scalia-isms.
This calls for a limerick, don’t you think?
Using lingo arcane and absurd,
Scalia must have the last word:
Gives “the bird” to his peers
With “pure apple sauce” jeers
He’s a “jiggery-pokery” turd.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Justice Antonin Scalia, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Supreme Court Humor, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Thursday, June 18th, 2015
Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.
So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:
To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:
2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!
Tags: Attorney General, Justice Department, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Loretta Lynch
Posted in Justice Department, Law Satire, Loretta Lynch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch
Monday, October 6th, 2014
Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The SCOTUS has caused quite a din
Over gay marriage rights. Is it sin
Or just fine for the states
To say gays can be mates?
Its response is “We shouldn’t mix in.”
Tags: Gay Marriage, Gays, Homosexuality Satire, Judicial Review Humor, Judiciary Humor, Legal Humor, Same Sex Marriage, SCOTUS, Supreme Court Humor, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Gay Rights, Gender Politics, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Supreme Surprise (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 24th, 2014
Happy 225th birthday to the U.S. Supreme Court! (On Sept. 24, 1789 President George Washington signed the
Judiciary Act of 1789, which created a Supreme Court with six justices.)
Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Seems today marks the birth of a court,
The court of supreme last resort.
Chief Justice John Jay
Ran it back in the day.
I just wish it would do what it ort.
Tags: George Washington, John Jay, Judges, Judiciary Act, Judiciary Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Humor, Legal Humor, Odd Holidays, September Holidays, Supreme Court, Supreme Court Humor, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Odd Holidays, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Happy Birthday To The Supremes (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2014
Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, formerly a Common Core enthusiast, now claims that the U.S. Education Department’s initiative is an Obama “power-grab.” He’s even suing the federal government, in an appeal to wingnutty Tenthers.
Ka-ching!
Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Bobby Jindal has filed a fed suit
To get Common Core given the boot:
Obama, claims Bob,
Did a power-grab job:
A prez wannabe, raising some loot.
Tags: 10th Amendment, Barack Obama, Bobby Jindal, Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Common Core, Constitution Verse, Education Department, Education Humor, Federal Lawsuit, Fund Raising, Litigation Humor, Louisiana, Obama Verse, Power-Grab Humor, Republican Hypocrisy, States Rights, Tenthers, Wingnut Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, States Rights, Tenthers, White House, Wingnuts | Comments Off on Sleazy To The Core (Limerick)
Tuesday, August 19th, 2014
Can you imagine Republicans ever questioning the legitimacy of a criminal case against a Democrat? Alas, that would take intellectual honesty. So don’t hold your breath.
On the other hand, many Democrats are openly questioning whether Rick Perry’s sleazy behavior rose to the level of a criminal act. As for me…
What’s a crime can be sometimes unclear.
Yes the law is confusing, I fear.
I’m a lawyer, but still
I’ve no skill, nor the will
To predict if this case will cohere.
Tags: Crime & Punishment, Criminal Humor, Indictment Humor, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Rick Perry
Posted in Crime, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Rick Perry | Comments Off on The Perils Of Perry (Limerick)
Monday, April 21st, 2014
I can’t help wondering whether Supreme Court Justice Scalia says weird things like this just for attention:
Speaking at the University of Tennessee College of Law on Tuesday, the longest-serving justice currently on the bench was asked by a student about the constitutionality of the income tax, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports.
Scalia responded that the government has the right to implement the tax, “but if it reaches a certain point, perhaps you should revolt.”
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Suggesting that students revolt
Over taxes ain’t very adult.
It seems doltish Scalia
Has mouth diarrhea.
I surmise that his brain’s short a bolt.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Income Tax, Justice Antonin Scalia, Revolution Humor, Supreme Court Humor, Taxes, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Constitution Humor, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Tax & Budget Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
Monday, April 7th, 2014
Weep For The Wealthy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though the wealthy will publicly cheer
As campaign regs get knocked on their rear,
Some privately groan:
“No limits?” they moan.
“Buying pols is becoming too dear!”
Note from Mad Kane: Although I concocted that quote, it may be closer to the truth than you think. Here’s The Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol, who argued on ABC’s This Week “that not every wealthy donor will embrace the outcome of the McCutcheon case, because they may now be obliged to give more:”
“All the donors I know hate this decision, of course,” he said. “This used to be a very good excuse to say to a candidate, ooh, I’m maxing out, I just can’t help your campaign.”
Tags: ABC, Bill Kristol, Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, Newt Gingrich, THIS WEEK, U.S. Supreme Court, Weekly Standard
Posted in Bill Kristol, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Money And Finance Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 3rd, 2014
Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Remember “one person, one vote?”
Now “one dollar, one vote’s” what they wrote;
Yes, the U.S. Supremes
Favor money — in reams,
As the rich grab free speech by the throat.
Thanks to the New Yorker’s John Cassidy, for inspiring this limerick with his acerbic comment about McCutcheon v. FEC:
But Wednesday’s decision, once again a five-to-four ruling, represented another significant step away from the antiquated principle of “one person, one vote” toward the more modern, and utilitarian, notion of “one dollar, one vote.”
Tags: Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, John Cassidy, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, New Yorker, U.S. Supreme Court, Voting Humor, Voting Limerick, War On Voting
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | Comments Off on Free Speech Gets Pricey (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 2nd, 2014
If you thought the Citizens United ruling undermined democracy, brace yourself: The Roberts court has made things even worse with yet another controversial 5-4 decision in McCutcheon v. FEC. Assaulting campaign finance reform once again, the Supreme Court struck down the aggregate limits on how much an individual can contribute to candidates, parties and political action committees.
As Ari Berman astutely observes:
The Court’s conservative majority believes that the First Amendment gives wealthy donors and powerful corporations the carte blanche right to buy an election but that the Fifteenth Amendment does not give Americans the right to vote free of racial discrimination.
Supreme Priorities
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The Supremes freed the wealthy to buy
Politicians — an endless supply.
Seems “free speech” means “free spending,”
While “voting rights rending”
Isn’t something they care to decry.
Tags: Ari Berman, Campaign Finance Reform, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Democracy, First Amendment, Free Speech, Justice John Roberts, Legal Verse, McCutcheon v. FEC, U.S. Supreme Court, Voting Humor, Voting Limerick, War On Voting
Posted in Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, FEC Satire, Free Speech, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 1 Comment »
Saturday, January 25th, 2014
As the fight over Oklahoma’s ban on same-sex marriage heads to the Tenth Circuit Court of Appeals in Denver, Colorado, Oklahoma Rep. Mike Turner (R-Edmond) is worried that gay marriage might prevail. And being desperate to combat the scourge of same-sex marriage, Turner has drafted a shell bill to use in case the case doesn’t go his way:
Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mike Turner’s prevailed in his hunt
For an anti-same-sex marriage stunt.
If you’re gay or you’re straight
You can’t wed in his state,
Says his bill; Equal rights — Mike’s out front.
Tags: Constitution Verse, Gay Marriage, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Marriage Satire, Mike Turner, Oklahoma, Same Sex Marriage
Posted in Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Mike’s Oklahoma “Solution” (Limerick)
Thursday, July 25th, 2013
Will Femia, over at MaddowBlog, has challenged us to a “good old-fashioned marriage equality limericking bee.” Here’s my contribution:
Limerick Ode To Same Sex Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Same sex couples are quick to endorse
The spread of gay marriage, of course.
But the happiest folks
Are THESE women and blokes:
Hungry lawyers who handle divorce.
Tags: Divorce, Gay Marriage, Homosexuality Satire, Lawyers, Legal Humor, Legal Satire, Maddowblog, Marriage Equality, Rachel Maddow, Will Femia
Posted in Gay Rights, Gender Politics, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks | 3 Comments »
Thursday, June 27th, 2013
The U.S. Supreme Court’s hypocritical demolishment of the Voting Rights Act, followed by a rush by certain states to impose discriminatory voting restrictions, inspired this three-verse limerick:
The Supreme Court Preclears Voter Suppression (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Sev’ral states who once had to preclear
Any voting law change, gave a cheer:
The Supremes set them free
To restrict votes with glee,
Which they’re doing with plans in high gear.
In its holding, both sneaky and bold,
The Sup Court said the formula’s old,
And so need not be heeded–
A new one is needed:
It freed states to fair-voting withhold.
Some are doing just that with great speed,
Which proves that old formula’s need–
That it wasn’t outdated:
Bad intent’s unabated,
And there’s nothing to stop its stampede.
Tags: Constitution Verse, Judiciary Satire, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court, Voter ID, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Justice Department, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Wednesday, March 27th, 2013
Most experts seem to think the U.S. Supreme Court will strike down DOMA, thereby ending the federal ban on benefits to gay spouses. The question is: Will they do it based upon equal protection, or states’ rights? The former (seemingly supported by the four liberal Supremes) is vastly preferable, but the later appears more likely; the perennial swing judge, Justice Anthony Kennedy, is more of a states’ rights kinda guy.
Limerick Ode To DOMA’s Demise
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m GLAD to hear DOMA’s in trouble.
But will Justices safe in their bubble
Concede that it’s wrong,
Beat the gong, say so long
To treating gay couples like rubble?
Tags: Constitution Verse, Defense Of Marriage Act, DOMA, Equal Protection, Gay Marriage, Gay Rights, Homophobes, Justice Anthony Kennedy, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Marriage Equality, Same Sex Marriage, States Rights, Supreme Court Limerick
Posted in Constitution Humor, Gay Rights, Gender Politics, GOP Humor, Government Services, Homophobia, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, March 5th, 2013
Republican creativity never ceases to amaze me. Here’s the latest in Iowa’s battle against teenage promiscuity:
Seven Republicans in the Iowa House are pushing a bill to prohibit parents of minor children from getting a “no fault” divorce and the proposal could be debated in a House committee this week.
A three-member subcommittee debated the bill today. Representative Tedd Gassman, a Republican from Scarville, said he’s concerned about the negative impact divorce has on children.
“In my opinion, it’s time to look out for the children instead of constantly worrying about the adults,” Gassman said.
Representative Gassman said the issue is “near and dear” to his heart because his daughter and son-in-law recently divorced, putting his granddaughter at risk.
“There’s a 16-year-old girl in this whole mix now. Guess what? What are the possibilities of her being more promiscuous?” Gassman said. “What are the possibilities of all these other things surrounding her life that a 16-year-old girl, with hormones raging, can get herself into?”
Promiscuous Law-Making (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If your children are minors, watch out!
You may have to stay wed to that lout:
It seems no-fault divorce
May be nixed, as of course,
By Iowan wingnuts with clout.
Tags: Divorce, Iowa, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, No-Fault Divorce, Parents, Promiscuous Teens, Republicans Humor, Ted Gassman
Posted in Family Values Humor, GOP Humor, Iowa Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Social Satire | 1 Comment »
Monday, March 4th, 2013
I’ve been meaning to write about Antonin Scalia’s obnoxious Voting Rights Act comments. Something tells me he’d be a bit more enthused about the law, if the people it protected tended to vote Republican.
Limerick Ode To Antonin Scalia
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Scalia gave quite the recital
With that “racial entitlement” title
He “bestowed” on the vote,
Fearing Dem voter bloat:
To Scalia, such voters ain’t vital.
Tags: Antonin Scalia, Discrimination, Law Satire, Legal Humor, Legal Verse, Racial Bias, Supreme Court Humor, Voting Limerick, Voting Rights Act, VRA
Posted in Constitution Humor, Democracy Humor, Election Satire, Entitlements Humor, GOP Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Legislation Humor, Minority Rights Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Racism Limerick, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court, Voting Satire | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, January 8th, 2013
I can’t help admiring the audacity and creativity of this fellow’s Citizens United-inspired legal argument:
A driver in San Rafael, California is attempting to appeal a traffic citation for driving alone in a High Occupancy Vehicle lane. Jonathan Frieman and his attorney, Ford Greene, argue that since Frieman had corporate incorporation papers in his car when he was stopped by an officer, he was actually carpooling at the time…
He’s sworn to chase the case all the way to the Supreme Court should the first trial not go his way in an attempt to “expose the impracticality of corporate personhood.”
A Driving Attack On Corporate Personhood (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I’m not driving alone, said the guy
In the HOV lane, and here’s why:
Corp’rate personhood rules,
And my corp files, you fools,
Are right here. My defense — you must buy!
Tags: Automobiles, California, Carpooling Humor, Cars, Citizens United, Corporate Personhood, Drivers, Ford Greene, High Occupancy Vehicle Lanes, HOV Lanes, Incorporation Papers, Jonathan Frieman, Law Humor, Legal Humor, San Rafael
Posted in Automobiles Satire, California Satire, Constitution Humor, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Political Limericks, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
Monday, July 2nd, 2012
Open Limerick To Chief Justice John Roberts
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Justice Roberts, your allies are mean,
And their attitude’s often obscene.
When they hate one decision,
Their answer’s derision:
Your meds fried your brain. No more sheen!
With people like that in your camp,
Perhaps it is time to revamp
Your views and opinions.
Dump low-lives as minions.
Convert! Be a working man’s champ.
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 10 Comments »
Friday, June 29th, 2012
Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
Friday, June 29th, 2012Republicans are in shock over the U.S. Supreme Court’s “Obamacare” decision. They’d been so sure they had Justice John Roberts in their pockets, that they’re behaving like betrayed lovers: How dare he side with the liberal wing of the court on the constitutionality question!
Many of them are enraged to the point of irrationality. In fact, even Justice Roberts seems to have noticed the GOP’s “what have you done for me lately” nastiness. He actually joked about going into hiding.
GOP Falls Out Of Love With Roberts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The decision John Roberts just penned
Has sent ACA foes round the bend.
Up till now he’d promote
All their views with his vote.
Has their Roberts’ romance reached an end?
Tags: ACA, Affordable Care Act, GOP Humor, Health Care Reform, Health Reform, Justice John Roberts, Law Humor, Legal Verse, Obamacare, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court Limerick, U.S. Constitution, U.S. Supreme Court
Posted in Barack Obama, Constitution Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Judiciary Satire, Law Satire, Legislation Humor, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | 2 Comments »