Mad Kane’s Political Madness

Happy Presidents’ Day?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s Presidents’ Day, but I’m glum,
Cause our President’s worse than a bum.
Dubya’s done so much harm.
(Do you still like his “charm”?)
He is evil and not merely dumb. 

Technorati Tags: Presidents’ Day Humor, Bush Satire, Bush Limericks

This weekend’s Senate session reminds me of the fuss Republicans made when Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi imposed a substantially longer work week on Congress. Some even argued that the imposition of a 5-day work week proved that Democrats are anti-family.

I Guess They Miss The “Good Old Days”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“How dare they (Pelosi and Reid)
Make us work 5-day weeks,” goes the screed
Of the GOP members,
Forgetting November’s
Results favored change done with speed.

Technorati Tags: Pelosi, Reid, 5-Day Weeks, House, Senate, Congress, GOP,  Anti-Family

I take a strange solace in Libby’s “awful memory” defense.  Why?  This limerick should explain it:

Why I’m Qualified To Be Dick Cheney’s Top Aide
By Madeleine Begun Kane

According to Libby’s defender,
His mem’ry’s a major offender:
It is creaky as hell
And it’s leaky, as well.
Mine too –  I could be a contender.  

Technorati Tags: Lewis Libby, Libby Prosecution, Dick Cheney Aide, Libby Defense, Scooter Libby, Criminal Law Humor, Lawyer Humor, Memory, Leaks

Mess?  What Mess?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

From Dub’s State of the Union address,
Who would guess that our nation’s a mess?
Yet what leader would say:
“Things are awful today,
And the fault lies with me.  I confess.” 

Technorati Tags: President Bush, State of the Union Address

I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger:

Bellicose Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you can’t solve a problem, expand it.
Demand an enlargement. Command it.
What else could explain
Dubya’s bellicose reign
Of great terror and shame? Please disband it. 

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* My good pal Lisa Casey, producer of the outstanding political comedy website www.allhatnocattle.net, gets cease and desist letter from Joe Scarborough, and posts an open letter to Joe Scarborough in response.
* Body Language Experts: Bush Was Hostage In ‘Surge’ Speech (the always witty Don Davis)
* Bush, Putting It On The Line (The Daily Show, courtesy of OneGoodMove)
* “Don’t let faux klingons send real americans to war. it’s wrong.” (Video clip courtesy of Skippy)
* Avedon Carol has the goods on Edwards’ antiwar speech.
* I have a plan for bringing Terri Schiavo back from the dead.

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Terror, Surge, War Escalation

Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It is time for another Bush speech,
Which leaves honor and facts in the breach.
Please do not expect reason:
Just more acts of treason.
Enough with this nonsense.  Impeach!

Technorati Tags: Bush Speech, Iraq, War Strategy Speech, The Way Forward In Iraq, Impeach Bush, Iraq Troop Surge, War Powers

Another Bush war speech is on the horizon. Oh, goody! Actually, I’m not sure I’ll be able to force myself to watch next week’s speech, in which Bush is expected to announce a politically motivated “surge and accelerate plan.” But I’ve heard enough Bush speeches to sum this one up in a limerick, without even seeing it:

Bush’s Surge Speech: A Mad Preview
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It appears that we’re right on the verge
Of  what Bush and McCain call a surge.
Once again, George the Madman
Behaves like an adman
Whose product leads only to dirge.

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Mail Fraud (Skippy)
* Ten ‘Bombshells’ From Rudy’s Secret Dossier (Don Davis)
* Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment on Sacrifice (OneGoodMove) 

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Bush Speech, Surge, Iraq Surge, Surge & Accelerate Plan, Sacrifice, McCain

Justin A. Frank, M.D., author of  “Bush on the Couch,” makes a convincing case that George W. Bush is a sociopath in this fascinating Buzzflash interview.

I fear  that Dr. Frank may well be right.  But even if my much milder haiku diagnosis is the correct one, we’re in deep trouble with Bush in the White House:

Dub on the Divan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dubya’s surging fear
Of emasculation drives
War escalation.

Technorati Tags: Sociopath Bush, Emasculation, Buzzflash, Justin A. Frank, Bush On The Couch, Bush Haiku

President Bush had some words of wisdom for us at Wednesday’s press conference: “I encourage you all to go shopping more.”

Hey, at least he finally has his priorities straight.  And that brings me to my latest political limerick:

Shopping For A New President Would Be Nice
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

‘Tis the season to buy stuff, for sure.
Have you shopped? Yes? Then go shop some more.
That’s what Dubya once said,
While ignoring the dead—
Needless victims of Dub’s wanton war.  

Technorati Tags: Bush Humor, War Humor, Economy Humor, Press Conference

“A Way Forward?” To Where, Exactly?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Iraq’s current state is abysmal,
With its prospects of peace rather dismal.
Dubya started this war,
Yielding blood, sweat and gore,
And success odds quite infinitesimal.

=========

And now some links, for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:
* The Talking Dog Interviews Michael Berube
* Year In Review: GOP ‘Takes A Perp Walk On The Wild Side’
* War Is Relative
* Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006
* Melissa Block talks with voice-over artists Dennis Steele and Scott Sanders about how to make a threatening voice for a political ad. (All Things Considered Audio Clip.)  

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Iraq Study Group, A Way Forward, War Satire

Ode To Diminished Expectations
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Unanimous yeses for Gates,
Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes
To be better than Rummy.
He isn’t a dummy!!!
That’s life in our Bush-induced straits.

Technorati Tags: Bob Gates Satire, Robert Gates, Confirmation Humor,  Defense Secretary, Senate Armed Services Committee

Ode To Dennis “Muslim Menace” Prager
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m enraged at host Prager. Yes, Dennis.
To the truth he is rather a menace,
Cause he gave Muslims grief
When he lied about Keith,
By inventing a Biblical oath dis.

Technorati Tags: Dennis Prager, Keith Ellison, Media Humor, Koran, Bible, Muslim Congressman

Uncivil Drivel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pundits incessantly muse,
“Is it civil or not?” I’m confused,
Cause by all definitions
Dub’s ill-advised “mission”
Ignited a civil war fuse.

Technorati Tags: Civil War, Iraq War, Pundits, Mission, Satire

Our Banished VEEP
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
Not his job, but his real estate pick.
He had primo House space,
But eviction he’ll face,
Cause the Democrats won.  What a kick!

(My Dick Cheney humor is collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Cheney Office Space, Richard Cheney Humor, Election Humor, House Humor

Limerick For Bush’s Brain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The man who’s called George Bush’s Brain
Has been weakened. Yes, that much is plain.
I doubt he got kicks.
From Election Oh-Six,
Which was won by the Dems, Dubya’s  bane.

Technorati Tags: Election 2006, Bush’s Brain, The Architect, Karl Rove Humor

Fair And Balanced Haiku
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Democratic win
Is Terrorist Victory:
Fair and balanced Fox.

Joe’s Jive
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Joe warns: Compromise
And heed election’s lessons.
A not so veiled threat?

Trent Lott’s Revenge
By Madeleine Begun Kane

GOP misdeeds
Make Lott look nearly saint-like,
Enabling comeback.

Technorati Tags: Election ‘06 Humor, Trent Lott Comeback, Lieberman Humor, Fox News, Fair And Balanced, Terrorist Victory

Needless to say, I’m very happy about Tuesday’s election results.  And yet, I can’t resist the impulse to get just a little bit greedy:

Mad Kane Gets Greedy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I am blissful, contented, and happy.
The election results weren’t crappy.
But for pleasure inflated,
To make me elated,
Impeach Cheney/Bush. Make it snappy!

=========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* Dems Sing ‘Our House Is A Very, Very, Very Blue House’
* Carnival of Satire
* Kicking Elephants and Taking Names
* Carnival of the Vanities
* Personal Growth Carnival

Technorati Tags: Election Humor, Impeachment Humor, Cheney/Bush Humor

As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!”  I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.

A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind.

Technorati Tags: Saddam Hussein, Death Penalty, Death By Hanging, Election Day Humor, SNL’s Churchlady 

Chalk it up to pre-election delirium, but I just wrote a Bush-Cheney song parody to Winter Wonderland, without realizing that I used the same tune back in 2004 for a pre-election song parody.  Fortunately, a bad memory does have some benefits, so the lyrics are quite different. Here’s my new one:

Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Sing to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
No debate. Stop your braying.
“Fantastic” at war!
Bush Rummy adores.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

War is hard, but we’re winning.
GOP, lies and spinning.
Our war in Iraq
Is really on track.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

Bush and Rove are great at building straw men.
Then they proudly knock their straw men down.
Dub implies we’re traitors.
We’ll say, “No Man!”
It’s time to stop pretending you’ve been crowned.

Ev’ry day, they conspire.
Reckless knaves, thieves, and liars.
The Bush/Cheney reign,
Democracy’s bane.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

           =========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Worst Political Websites.
* I like Avedon when she’s in a snit.
* Don Davis’s Kerry: How Do You Ask Me To ‘Die’ For My Last Mistake?
* OneGoodMove has the New York Times’ latest editorial, and it’s a great one.
* Gary Trudeau Profile. (Via Alternative Hippopotamus)
* No Bush profiteering op left behind.
* Carnival Time: Carnival of Satire and Carnival of the Vanities.
* I sure hope journalists everywhere read this column and heed its counsel.
* Eric Schwartz sings his Clinton Got A Blowjob. 

Technorati Tags: Election Humor, Bush Humor, Bush Blunders, Richard Cheney, Dubya, Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld

A pair of poems today — more serious than usual –  inspired by the latest attempt to swift-boat John Kerry, and Kerry’s finally finding his voice in response to the Rove orchestrated attacks on him:

When I hear Gore speak, I sigh for what could have been.
When I watch Kerry speak, I eye what should have been.
When I see Bush speak, I cry for our citizens.

Kerry’s mad as hell
And won’t take it anymore.
Late, but still welcome.

Technorati Tags: John Kerry, Tony Snow, Swift-Boating, Strawmen, Election, Bush Lies, Al Gore, Karl Rove