“I’ll get rid of that wasp nest. I’m on it!”
Said a man who was writing a sonnet.
“But you’re being a pest!
My verse has me stressed,
And I’m sick of that bee in your bonnet.”
Archive for the ‘Writing & Publishing Humor’ Category
Marital Squabble (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2023I’m Interviewed by Michael Croland of Dover Publications, on the Topic of Acrostic Limericks
Friday, April 21st, 2023I was honored to be interviewed by Michael Croland, of Dover Publications, on the topic of Acrostic Limericks. His piece includes eight of my acrostic limericks, in addition to my thoughts about the challenges of adding an acrostic element to a verse form that already has more than its share of rhyme and meter rules.
So, if you have any interest in acrostic limericks, or acrostic poetry in general, you should enjoy Croland’s article, “ACROSTIC LIMERICKS: A HYBRID OF TWO FORMS.”
NOTE: Croland’s most recent book, There Once Was a Limerick Anthology, was published by Dover Publications in August 2022, and his next book, Acrostic Poetry: The First-Ever Anthology, will be published by Dover in August 2023.
Acrostic Limerick Quartet
Saturday, April 15th, 2023For an upcoming interview, I was asked why I hadn’t written any acrostic limericks since 2015. The question surprised me, because I was certain this couldn’t be true. As it turns out, I’ve written quite a few since then, but never got around to posting them on this blog. For instance, here’s a quartet of acrostic limericks I wrote in 2019 for a contest, but forgot (until now) to post on my blog:
I’m alarmed when mosquitoes come near.
They adore me, I fear. Ev’ry year,
Come what may, I get bitten.
How come? Cuz they’re smitten.
Yes, THAT’S why I’m scratching my rear.
An acrostical challenge in verse
Leads this poet to mutter and curse;
Penning lines so constrained
Has my mind frazzled, pained,
As each version, perversely, is worse.
Anxiety’s cloud, oh so dense;
Neurosis can make you feel tense.
Getting out of your chair
(Somehow going somewhere)
Tends to help, so let healing commence.
How I love to draw laughs or a smile,
Using lim’ricks to banish the bile
Many people amass.
Only wit helps it pass;
Rhymed verse … for when life’s feeling vile.
Deadline Poet (Limerick)
Saturday, April 8th, 2023“I’m on deadline! Must generate verse,”
I admonish myself with a curse.
Is a lim’rick emergent?
Time’s short, so it’s urgent…
Seems my muse needs a doctor or nurse.
Happy Proofreading Day! (Limerick)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2023A limerick for National Proofreading Day:
It is “National Proofreading Day,”
A reminder to keep flubs at bay.
Uncaught flaws in my verse
Are dismaying; I curse
At my lapses on shameful display.
Aligning My Verse (Haiku and Limerick)
Monday, February 20th, 2023Using the poetry prompt “align,” I turned my haiku into a limerick:
A prompt’s been assigned.
Should Rhymezone-dot-com be mined?
My rhymes are aligned.
***
A poetry prompt’s been assigned.
Rhymezone tempts me with rhymes to be mined.
I could write some haiku,
But I’ve lim’ricks to do.
Must ensure that my rhymes are aligned.
Non-Erased Memory (Limerick)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2023Though I’ve tried to, I cannot erase
My mem’ry of messes I’d face
When I needed to fix
Penciled words. (I was six.)
Defacement would follow apace.
Happy “Word Nerd Day!” (Limerick)
Monday, January 9th, 2023It’s “National Word Nerd Day.” Yay!
I’m a “word nerd.” It’s true. Ev’ry day
I try to learn new words,
Recalling but few words;
In my brain they’re reluctant to stay.
A Muse Quatrain
Tuesday, December 20th, 2022When I need inspiration
I summon my muse.
When she doesn’t come through,
Then I check out the news.
The Ex-Jogger (Limerick)
Sunday, November 27th, 2022A fellow who frequently jogs
Tripped over some badly placed logs.
He fell down, hit his noggin,
Which ended his joggin’.
His new hobby is verse about “frogs.”
Yet Another “Punctuation Day” Limerick
Saturday, September 24th, 2022How to punctuate: That is the query.
Ill-timed marks can be irksome and dreary.
Bangs, ellipses, and dashes
Add drama in flashes.
Overuse is abusive!!! — Be leery!!!!!
(National Punctuation Day is celebrated yearly on September 24th.)
Lusting For Lusty Limericks? (Limerick)
Monday, September 12th, 2022Must a lim’rick be bawdy and lusty?
Has that “rule” become mis’rably musty?
I like lims of all kinds
From both lewd and chaste minds,
Even those just a tad upper crusty.
Today’s Rhyming Challenge (Limerick)
Monday, September 5th, 2022Sometimes I challenge myself by using a hard-to-rhyme word in a limerick. In today’s case, it’s “latrinalia,” which means stuff written or drawn on bathroom walls.
Now before you say, “Lots of things rhyme with latrinalia, according to Rhymezone,” let me add that Rhymezone is WRONG!
Since the Final Stressed Syllable of latrinalia is NAL, true rhyme words must end in “alia” preceded by a Different Consonant, such as AuSTRalia, or mamMalia, or reGalia, or the two words I use in this limerick:
If you happen to read latrinalia,
You won’t find any sesquipedalia,
You’ll see swear words and gripes
Writ by marginal types,
But no poems inspired by Thalia.
What Makes Me Laugh (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 17th, 2022The lim’ricks I’m likely to pick
As winners grab on to me quick.
I get kicks when they’re punny
And clever and funny
Skillful wordplay will oft do the trick.
Writer’s Lament (Limerick)
Monday, July 25th, 2022I prefer not to grumble or whine,
But alas, I can’t seem to refine
The end of this verse.
And to make matters worse,
My muse’s behavior’s malign.
Wallowing In Fatigue (Limerick)
Friday, July 22nd, 2022Some archaic words cry out for a comeback and “forwallowed” is one of them. (It means “weary from tossing and turning all night.”)
I tossed and I turned through the night,
So I’m suff’ring insomnia’s blight.
My energy’s hollowed.
I’m feeling forwallowed…
And hope I recall how to write.
Musing About My Muse (3-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, June 16th, 2022I’ve been trying to write, but in vain;
My muse has escaped from my brain.
It started last night
With a rip-roaring fight,
When I called something “trite and inane.”
“You should give me more credit!” she said.
“I work hard while you’re sleeping in bed.”
I called my muse “greedy,”
“Ill-humored,” and “needy.”
She said, “You’ll be sorry,” then fled.
She was right, for she’s great with a wry line,
And fine at supplying a sly line.
So I’m begging: Come back!
I’ll be nice. No more flak!
But dear muse, you’re not getting a byline!
Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2022It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
