My latest 3-verse limerick was inspired by a CNN article that included this paragraph: “Roberts was shaken by the adverse public reaction to his decision affording Trump substantial immunity from criminal prosecution. His protestations that the case concerned the presidency, not Trump, held little currency.”
Poor John Roberts is in a deep funk; His beloved court’s stature has shrunk. And it’s largely his fault For harsh rulings that halt Basic rights. He’s a punk and a skunk.
About justice his court doesn’t care. There’s no effort to ever be fair. It treats stare decisis Like trash. We’ve a crisis; Sound rulings are brutally rare!
So if Roberts is sad, fine by me! For the court must be changed. You agree? Then be sure to vote Dem. No more hawing. Don’t hem! It’s the one way to stem the debris.
Washington Post Headline: “Trump in Pa.: Digressions, threats and vows to be ‘protector’ of women”
The “Protector of Women” — that’s me, Proclaims Trump. Just elect me; you’ll see. Yes, the man who destroyed Roe v. Wade seems annoyed That we long to be Donald Trump-free.
How absurd that a sexual abuser, One who often defames his accuser, Now audaciously claims He’ll protect all the dames If he wins. Let’s make sure he’s the LOSER!
“In Ohio, they’re eating the cats! They are eating the pets,” yell the rats, Known as Donald and Vance, Harming Haitians with rants; Racist lies told by cads in red hats.
When informed it’s not true, they both sneer And continue repeating their smear, Cuz they really don’t care If there’s pet-eating there. Told to cease and desist, they just jeer.
“You’re endangering innocent folk,” They’re advised, but to Trump that’s a joke; Donald’s fans gets their highs From enjoying Trump’s lies. Give up lying? No, THAT would be “WOKE!”
Spoiled brat, cry-baby Trump actually posted this on his money-bleeding, inaptly named Truth Social: “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!”
On Truth Social, The Donald lashed out; A failed effort to weaponize clout. His “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” Angered Swifties. They’re miffed! Quite the gift for the VEEP from that lout!
Trump’s pretending he won the debate, Citing polls (non-existent) that rate Him the winner by lots. (Were they written by bots?) Dotty Don can’t face up to his fate.
Dear Veep Harris, I thank you for winning And demolishing Trump. I’m still grinning! On the eve of my birthday, You gave me a mirth day… Watching bait-taking Trump lose each inning.
JD Vance has a fabulous plan To reduce childcare costs. What a man! It’s not tax breaks or grants: Just cry “Help!” to the aunts, Uncles, granddads, and each weary gran.
Dear Political Press, please take note: Stop reframing Trump’s rants; use a quote! No more rend’ring coherent His spewings aberrant; Cease helping him skew how folks vote!
When Ms. MacCallum observed, accurately, that Ms. Harris was “having some success” with women, Hispanic and Black voters, Mr. Trump objected. “She’s not having success; I’m having success,” he said. “I’m doing great with the Hispanic voters, doing great with Black men, I’m doing great with women.”
“It’s only in your eyes that they have that, Martha,” he added. “We are doing very well.”
Hence, this limerick:
Trump obsessively follows each poll, And bad numbers are taking their toll. When he’s bested, he’s pissed. I’m ahead, he’ll insist. Don-OLD’s poll-envy’s out of control.
I’m exceedingly happy to say That the Dems are right now in array. Will this last long enough In a contest so tough? All my money’s on YEA … and so YAY!
During Thursday’s “just pretend” press conference, Trump used being called “weird” as a justification for personal attacks on Kamala Harris. Hence my “If Trump Could Write Limericks.”
Meanie Kamala says that I’m “weird.” JD too, so we both have been smeared. And that means I am free To insult her with glee. So here goes: Dougie Emhoff’s her BEARD!
Donald’s allies keep warning the guy That his insults and whining won’t fly: She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?” “AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?” All false claims that most voters won’t buy!
Though he’s eager to once again reign, Donald treats their advice with disdain. To his old ways, he cleaves. (He knows best, he believes.) That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!
Trump’s new rival is chock-full of zest, So old Donald’s morose and depressed. With his poll numbers slidin’, He misses Joe Biden. (Time to fake a failed “bar exam” test?)
I can’t resist mocking Trump’s attempts to weenie out of debating Harris. Why? Because his pretext for backing out of the ABC debate (and switching to a Fox debate) doesn’t pass the straight-faced test:
To his base, Trump’s a tough, macho male, Who would never back down and/or bail. Yet he’s scared to debate Our great VEEP on the date And agreed-upon place. He turned tail!
JD Vance once called Trump “reprehensible” And compared him to Hitler. (Sounds sensible!) But now Vance is debasing Himself by embracing The Donald, a move indefensible.
JD lives in a house made of glass, Yet he missed the “no stone-throwing” class. So he hurls his baloney At Harris. (She’s “PHONY?!?”) Poor Vance; his sad ass is now grass.
Don-OLD falsely asserts that our VEEP “Doesn’t like Jewish people.” That creep Knows full well Doug (her spouse) Is a Jew. Trump’s a louse And a felon. The man’s full of… BLEEP!
A creative critique of Trump/Vance Is they’re “weird” which, while true at a glance, Is the least of their sins. We must ward off their wins! If we don’t, freedom won’t stand a chance.
Please don’t fall for the GOP lies About “unity.” Buyer be wise! It does have a nice ring, But their “unity” thing Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!
Trump’s Scorned Advice (2-Verse Limerick)
Wednesday, August 14th, 2024Donald’s allies keep warning the guy
That his insults and whining won’t fly:
She “turned Black?” Staged a “coup?”
“AI Crowds?” “Low IQ?”
All false claims that most voters won’t buy!
Though he’s eager to once again reign,
Donald treats their advice with disdain.
To his old ways, he cleaves.
(He knows best, he believes.)
That’s great news: He’ll keep acting insane!
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Kamala Harris, Republicans Humor, Trump
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