Archive for the ‘Political Limericks’ Category

What The Donald Needs, What He Really, Really Needs

Saturday, May 5th, 2018

It’s a shame that the Donald’s so needy;
Craving praise, he is compliment-greedy.
Staff and Secys must Suck-up.
They don’t? It’s a Fuck-up.
Kiss his ass, or depart? Yes, indeedy!

Open Limerick To White House Press

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Jennifer Rubin: “I honestly see no reason for the daily press conference. If she lies it is pointless.”

Dear journos, explain: Why attend
Sanders’ pressers? She lies without end.
There is naught to be gained
From “info” that’s feigned.
Do your homework, make calls, phone a friend.

Limerick Ode To Michael Cohen

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Michael Cohen is mainly a bagman,
A whitewash-each-Donald-Trump-shag-man,
To shield Donald from blame
And protect his “good name.”
That assignment’s encountered a snag, man.

Trump’s Been Branded (Limerick)

Thursday, May 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Judge rules New York condo board may remove ‘Trump’ name”

Trump’s name on your building? Egad!
Once a status sign; now it’s just bad.
Folks who’ve sued for removal
Have gotten approval.
His brand’s an embarrassment. Sad!

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Tuesday, May 1st, 2018

My advice for the Donald: “Forego
Mueller’s questions. Don’t go toe-to-toe.
Cuz deceit is on tap
When your sneering lips flap.
You will lie while you’re saying hello.”

Trumpian Sins (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2018

Donald Trump rarely speaks out with candor.
How that man loves to libel and slander!
Watch him grimace and glow’r
While abusing his pow’r.
I preferred when he’d mainly philander.

Gun Ban Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2018

USA Today headline: “NRA draws fire from backers, foes for gun ban at event with Vice President Pence”

“Lots of guns make you safer in schools.”
That’s the NRA’s stance — greedy tools!
So they’d arm ev’ry teach,
But when Pence gives a speech
At their meeting — NO GUNS!!! — them’s the rules.

Trump And The Disabled (Limerick)

Sunday, April 29th, 2018

Trump via PBS NewsHour: “What happened with the Paralympics was so incredible and so inspiring to me. And I watched — it’s a little tough to watch too much, but I watched as much as I could.”

Paralympics, says Trump: “tough to watch” —
An embarrassing compliment-botch.
This is Trump being “nice.”
My unwanted advice:
Any further such ref’rences? Scotch!

Trump’s Biggest Fear? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 19th, 2018

Headline: “Trump allies worry Cohen will flip.”

Trump cronies are starting to fear
A Mike Cohen betrayal is near;
That when faced with the threat
Of prison, he’ll sweat
And blab secrets that Donald holds dear.

Trump v. Puerto Rico (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 18th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Puerto Rico Golf Venture: Not Such A Great Deal.”

Puerto Rico again has no light,
And support for the island’s been slight.
Trump’s neglect seems suspicious,
Vindictive and vicious.
Donald failed there in golf. I smell spite.

Comey Presses His Case (Limerick)

Monday, April 16th, 2018

If you watch tonight’s Comey interview (ABC, 10 PM Eastern) feel free to comment here:

I’m guessing that Trump won’t delight
In the interview airing tonight.
What will Comey disgorge
To ABC’s George?
I presume it won’t help Donald’s plight.

Sinclair’s Scheme (Limerick)

Wednesday, April 4th, 2018

Headline: “Sinclair producer in Nebraska resigns to protest ‘obvious bias'”

The Trump-loving owner Sinclair
Mandates talking points over the air;
Outlets MUST yell “Fake News”
To dupe and confuse.
The target’s all media that’s fair.

McConnell Stop Trump Tariffs? Don’t Hold Your Breath (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2018

Headline: “Mitch McConnell: Trump’s Tariffs Are a ‘Slippery Slope’”

Donald’s tariffs? A “slippery slope,”
Says McConnell. But follow-through? Nope!
Though his warnings are dour,
He won’t use his power
To curb him; that coward can’t cope.

Dow Doldrums (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

“The market keeps dropping!” we sob.
And there’s no reassurance from Schwab.
We feel robbed and depressed
And impossibly stressed.
Here’s my message to Donald: Great job!

Goverment By Whim? (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Post: As Inner Circle Shrinks, Trump Decisions Even More Driven By Whim”

The Donald seems driven by whim.
It’s a source of his truculent vim.
When it’s time to decide,
Expertise bona fide
Is ignored. Informed choice? Chances dim!

Trump Invites Best Pal Putin To White House (Limerick)

Monday, April 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Trump Invites Putin to the White House”

Said Donald to Putin,”Please come
To the White House, my bestie, my chum.
I’ve plum secrets to share,
So I hope you’ll repair
To DC and make Democrats glum.”

My Next Job?

Sunday, April 1st, 2018

Very early in my legal career, I worked for a law firm that represented Trump’s father’s real estate company. Consequently, I had some dealings with the Donald. Hence this limerick:

It’s hard for the Donald to hire
A lawyer; his plight’s become dire.
In fact, things are so bad
That he tweeted me: “Mad,
Please come back. Get me out of my mire.”

Donald Trump — Unmasked … and Un-Esq’d (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a dreadful employer
And a volatile stature-destroyer.
His “art of the deal”
Is to lie, backbite, steal,
Which is why he can’t buy a good lawyer.

Saturday (So Far) Is Trump-Tweet-Free (Limerick)

Saturday, March 24th, 2018

The week’s at an end — I’m in heaven —
I’ve a respite from Trump-crap to leaven
With a lim’rick or three;
I’d be gleeful if he
Would go golfing, say, twenty-four seven.

Our Tweeter-In-Chief (Limerick)

Friday, March 23rd, 2018

I must learn to ignore Donald’s tweets;
For the most part, they’re mean, lie-filled bleats.
But his posts are addicting;
Soon statements conflicting
Will spew, as the cycle repeats.