Archive for the ‘Campaign Humor’ Category
Wednesday, March 28th, 2012
Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.
Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”
Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.
Tags: Budget Cuts, Cabinet, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Federal Agencies, Federal Budget, Federal Programs, Jonathan Chait, Mitt Romney, Voting Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Fiscal Policy, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Tax & Budget Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 27th, 2012
This news made me laugh: “Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s campaign tacked on a new fundraising effort Monday, charging supporters $50 a pop for anyone who wants a photo with the former House speaker.”
No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The latest Newt news is a beaut:
You must pay for a photo with Newt —
Fifty dollars per pic.
Here’s a fund raising trick:
I’d pay more not to pose with that brute.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Fund Raising, Newt Gingrich, Photo Ops
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, March 27th, 2012
Newt Gingrich is going to be very lonely on the campaign trail: He just lost his last two embedded print reporters.
Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Poor Gingrich, his embeds have fled.
Print journos won’t follow his tread.
Those so-called “elites”
Have found far better beats.
Were he prez he’d say, “Off with their head.”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Embedded Reporters, Media Humor, Newt Gingrich
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt
Wednesday, March 21st, 2012
When you represent a candidate who’s famed for his pandering opinion changes, it might be best to eliminate “Etch-a-Sketch” from your vocabulary:
Instead of rejoicing in what looks to be the beginning of the end of the Republican presidential race, however, Romney and his team are on the defensive over an Etch-a-Sketch. Yes, an Etch-a-Sketch.
Erik Fehrnstrom, one of Romney’s top aides, made the unfortunate comparison between his candidate and the child’s toy during a television interview on CNN on Wednesday morning.
“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign,” said Fehrnstrom. “Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch-a-Sketch – you can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again.”
Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s policy viewpoints are fleeting.
They’re not helping him? Watch his retreating.
First he’s for, then agin,
As his mouthpieces spin.
Mitt needs Etch-a-Sketch-YouTube deleting.
Tags: Campaign Humor, CNN, Election Satire, Erik Fehrnstrom, Etch-A-Sketch, Mitt Romney, Pandering, YouTube
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 12th, 2012
If I must see bare-chested Republican politicians, I definitely prefer Mitt Romney over Newt.
Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is Romney a hottie? Darn tootin’!
His bare-chested pics have folks rootin’.
Are his people at peace
With this photo release?
I’m betting his team copied Putin.
Tags: Bare-Chested Pols, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Mitt Romney, Political Photos, Vladimir Putin
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Vladimir Putin | 4 Comments »
Saturday, March 10th, 2012
I can’t imagine that you Southern Republicans are falling for Mitt Romney’s grits-liking pander. But here’s a limerick, just in case any of you think “unofficial Southerner” Romney is being sincere with “y’all.”
A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Romney’s playing an “out of town game,”
By pretending that he’s just the same
As you Southern state folks.
He likes grits? What a hoax,
With duping “y’all” voters his aim.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Grits, Mitt Romney, Out Of Town Game, Pandering, Southern Food, Southern States
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hypocrisy Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 3 Comments »
Thursday, March 8th, 2012
Rick Santorum’s campaign is stunningly inept in its failure to qualify for sundry ballots.
Yes, I know that Santorum’s campaign is woefully under-funded. And that he never expected to get this far. But at some point, I can’t help wondering whether Santorum is using the faith-based method of ballot qualification.
Of course all this begs the question: Why the heck can’t Mitt Romney finish him off?
Limerick Ode To An Endless Republican Primary
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum’s campaign is inept,
Under-funded, abysmally prepped.
Yet the contest is split:
Hairline wins made by Mitt
Where the Gov should have easily swept.
Tags: Ballot Qualification, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Faith-Based Humor, Mitt Romney, Presidential Campaign, Republican Primary, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, March 7th, 2012
What Romney Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Mitt Romney would love all this over:
Nomination sewn up, in like clover,
All primed for a fight
To be Prez with the right
To ride Limo One topped with Rover.
Tags: Animal Abuse, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, First Dog, First Limo, Mitt Romney, Presidential State Car, Seamus Romney
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 7 Comments »
Tuesday, March 6th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Super Tuesday’s arrived at long last.
Will Mitt’s wins be decisively vast?
Will his delegate count
Impressively mount,
Thereby ending the press fun too fast?
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Media Humor, Mitt Romney, Republican Primary, Super Tuesday
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Monday, March 5th, 2012
I’m starting to think Ann Romney doesn’t want to be First Lady. Why else would someone with a family net worth of $250 million make stupidly transparent remarks like this?
“We can be poor in spirit, and I don’t even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing, it can be here today and gone tomorrow.”
Poor Mitt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, you should tell your wife, Ann,
To stop trying to help out her man.
For your cause, it ain’t healthy
To claim you ain’t wealthy:
Ann’s not feeling rich doesn’t scan.
Tags: Ann Romney, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, First Lady, Mitt Romney, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Money & Finance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 28th, 2012
Did you know that higher education is snobbish and elitist? And that it causes liberal indoctrination? That’s the message we’ve been getting lately from Republicans like Rick Santorum and Mitt Romney. They each have a trio of college degrees … but hey, who’s counting? In fact, why even bother learning to count?
Yes, indeed, there’s a Republican war on college education:
First came Mitt Romney’s dismissive remarks about President Obama’s “faculty lounge” pals. Now Rick Santorum is calling Obama snobby for urging people to go to college – and defending that view in a series of TV appearances.
Education — Schmeducation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Don’t bother your miniscule head
With college — don’t need higher ed.”
That’s the Rick and Mitt screed,
Though they’re multi-degreed.
Informed-voters — yes, that’s what they dread.
Tags: Campaign Humor, College Humor, Education Humor, Election Satire, Higher Education, Informed Electorate, Informed Voters, Liberal Indoctrination, Mitt Romney, Republican War On College, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Education Limerick, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 27th, 2012
Limerick Ode To Mitt “Man Of The People” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Romney, your essence is “rich.”
Your attempts to “relate” are a stitch.
So nobody buys
Your fake empathy tries.
It seems playacting isn’t your niche.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Empathy, Mitt Romney, Romney Satire, Wealth Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Mitt “Man Of The People” Romney
Monday, February 27th, 2012
Dear Mitt, A Limerick Love Note
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Mitt, I’m enjoying your height.
Not too tall. Not too short. You’re just right.
And I also adore
That your cars number “four.”
Please forgive me for being so trite.
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Humor, Michigan, Mitt Romney, Romney Satire
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 25th, 2012
Limerick Ode To “Cheerful” Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I confess I became rather tearful
At Newt’s self-description as “cheerful.”
These were not tears of sadness,
But rather of gladness:
Cuz the “Newt Show” ain’t done. (I’d been fearful.)
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Newt Gingrich Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 2 Comments »
Friday, February 24th, 2012
Imagine giving a speech in a stadium meant to hold 65,000 people. Now imagine only 1,200 people showing up.
If you want to see what that looks like, check out this photo of Mitt Romney’s speech in Detroit’s Ford Stadium.
Mitt Romney is holding an event at Ford Stadium which has failed to attract enough people to come even close to filling it up (in fact, you could fit Romney’s 1,200 person crowd in the 65,000-seat stadium 54 times over).
Mitt Romney’s Taxing Crowd Numbers (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Just twelve-hundred folks in a place
Meant for sixty-five-thousand. Bare space!
That’s Mitt in Detroit:
Romney’s team ain’t adroit,
And poor Mitt has a very small base.
Tags: Advance Teams, Campaign Humor, Detroit, Election Satire, Ford Stadium, Michigan, Mitt Romney
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 5 Comments »
Thursday, February 23rd, 2012
Talking heads are always spouting theories, so why can’t I? This one’s for those who think Ron Paul’s being suspiciously nice to Mitt Romney:
A G(Rand) VEEP Scheme? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Does Ron Paul have a plan rather grand
In helping Mitt further his brand?
Maybe Mitt promised Paul:
“If you’ll kindly play ball,
Then I’ll hand the V.P. slot to Rand.”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Libertarian Humor, Mitt Romney, Political Bedfellows, Rand Paul, Ron Paul, Veepstakes
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Libertarians Satire, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Rand Paul, Republicans Humor, Ron Paul | Comments Off on A G(Rand) VEEP Scheme? (Limerick)
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
When I see a title like this, I pretty much have to write a limerick: Santorum Good for Chastity-Belt Sales? Manufacturer Says, “We’ve Had a Boost”
The Chastity Chase (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Here’s good news for Republican men:
You can guard against gals with a yen
For sex you deem evil
With something primeval:
Yes chastity belts — Curb your hen!
Tags: Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Chastity Belts, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminist Limerick, GOP Humor, Health Care, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Constitution Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 2 Comments »
Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
Many GOP leaders are understandably upset by the remaining quartet of presidential aspirants. Their solution? A brokered convention featuring the brother of “He Who Can Not Be Mentioned.” Yes, Jeb Bush, as Republican Savior.
Republicans’ Bush-League Fantasy (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Some Republicans weave quite the web
Of fantasy — Florida’s Jeb:
They’d replace their prez roster
With Bush, who will foster
A fix for the GOP ebb.
Tags: Brokered Convention, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, Florida, GOP Humor, Jeb Bush, Republicans Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Conventions, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 4 Comments »
Saturday, February 18th, 2012
In case all those ads haven’t clued you in, Presidents Day is nearly here. To celebrate, I’ve written a pair of clerihews for would-be presidents Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. What’s a clerihew? A whimsically biographical four-line poem, more fully described here.
Willard Mitt Romney
Has wealth that’s omni.
But he’s stiff as a yoke.
Kindly give that man a toke.
*****
Ricky Santorum
Loves his forum.
Being prez is his quest
In a knit sweater vest.
(My set of eight Eight 4-Liners For The Initial Republican Contenders is here.)
Tags: Campaign Humor, Election Satire, February Holidays, Mitt Romney, Political Clerihews, Presidents Day, Rick Santorum
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Holidays Humor, Mitt Romney Humor, Political Clerihews, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, White House | Comments Off on Just In Time For Presidents Day — Would-Be Presidential Clerihews
Thursday, February 16th, 2012
After yesterday’s post, I’d hoped to be done with birth control commentary for a while. But then I saw this headline: Santorum Sugar Daddy Foster Friess Gives ‘Gals’ Contraception Advice: Put An Aspirin Between Your Knees. And that story lives up to its headline:
Appearing on MSNBC with Andrea Mitchell today, Foster Friess, the main donor to the Super PAC backing Rick Santorum’s presidential bid, dismissed the controversy surrounding President Obama’s new birth control rule by suggesting that women should just keep their legs shut…
FRIESS: “On this contraceptive thing, my gosh, it’s so inexpensive. You know, back in my days, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn’t that costly.”
More Contraceptive Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Rick Santorum and Friess — quite the pair
In their “stop contraceptive care” guerre:
Don’t want kids with your squeeze?
Put a pill ‘tween your knees,
Like Bay’r asp’rin, sez Rick’s billionaire.
Tags: Andrea Mitchell, Bayer Aspirin, Billionaires, Birth Control Limerick, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Humor, Feminist Limerick, Foster Friess, Health Care, MSNBC, Religion Humor, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum, Sexist Humor, Small Government, Super PACs
Posted in Abortion Rights, Birth Control Humor, Campaign Humor, Contraception Humor, Election Satire, Feminism Humor, GOP Humor, Health Satire, Insurance Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Religious Satire, Republicans Humor, Rick Santorum | 3 Comments »
