Mad Kane’s Political Madness

Purges and Surges, Twin Scourges, Oh My!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dub’s prosecutorial purges
And unauthorized, bellicose surges
Have led me to think
(Though I’m far from a shrink)
What a sick way to deal with his urges!

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Prosecutor Purge, Attorney General, Bush Mental Health, Iraq Surge

What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose.
What power you had,
You’ve abandoned. How sad!
As always, I win and you lose.

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* David Swanson: Subpoena Dick
* ABC’s John Stossel: ‘Rats Make Good Pets For Wounded Vets’
* American Trouble Maker
* Reno 911
* Carnival of Satire 68 and Carnival of Satire 69
* Carnival of Feminists

Technorati Tags: Iraq Surge, Iraq War, Traitors, Anti-Surge Bills

By now, you’ve surely read the two-part Washington Post story about the abysmal treatment Iraq War veterans are receiving at Walter Reed Army Medical Center:

Why Does George Bush Hate Our Troops?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Where’s the medical aid for our troops?
When they’re injured, they’re treated like dupes.
Those who’ve lost arm or leg
Need our help, yet must beg
Us for care, forced to hurtle through hoops.

Technorati Tags: George Bush, Troops, Iraq War, Medical Care, Injured Veterans, Walter Reed Army Medical Center

I’ve finally figured out George Dubya’s philosophy: If you can’t solve a problem, make it bigger:

Bellicose Bush
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you can’t solve a problem, expand it.
Demand an enlargement. Command it.
What else could explain
Dubya’s bellicose reign
Of great terror and shame? Please disband it. 

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* My good pal Lisa Casey, producer of the outstanding political comedy website www.allhatnocattle.net, gets cease and desist letter from Joe Scarborough, and posts an open letter to Joe Scarborough in response.
* Body Language Experts: Bush Was Hostage In ‘Surge’ Speech (the always witty Don Davis)
* Bush, Putting It On The Line (The Daily Show, courtesy of OneGoodMove)
* “Don’t let faux klingons send real americans to war. it’s wrong.” (Video clip courtesy of Skippy)
* Avedon Carol has the goods on Edwards’ antiwar speech.
* I have a plan for bringing Terri Schiavo back from the dead.

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Terror, Surge, War Escalation

Yet Another Bush Impeachment Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It is time for another Bush speech,
Which leaves honor and facts in the breach.
Please do not expect reason:
Just more acts of treason.
Enough with this nonsense.  Impeach!

Technorati Tags: Bush Speech, Iraq, War Strategy Speech, The Way Forward In Iraq, Impeach Bush, Iraq Troop Surge, War Powers

“A Way Forward?” To Where, Exactly?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Iraq’s current state is abysmal,
With its prospects of peace rather dismal.
Dubya started this war,
Yielding blood, sweat and gore,
And success odds quite infinitesimal.

=========

And now some links, for your reading, listening, and viewing pleasure:
* The Talking Dog Interviews Michael Berube
* Year In Review: GOP ‘Takes A Perp Walk On The Wild Side’
* War Is Relative
* Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006
* Melissa Block talks with voice-over artists Dennis Steele and Scott Sanders about how to make a threatening voice for a political ad. (All Things Considered Audio Clip.)  

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, Iraq Study Group, A Way Forward, War Satire

Ode To Diminished Expectations
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Unanimous yeses for Gates,
Cause it’s clear that he has what it takes
To be better than Rummy.
He isn’t a dummy!!!
That’s life in our Bush-induced straits.

Technorati Tags: Bob Gates Satire, Robert Gates, Confirmation Humor,  Defense Secretary, Senate Armed Services Committee

Uncivil Drivel
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The pundits incessantly muse,
“Is it civil or not?” I’m confused,
Cause by all definitions
Dub’s ill-advised “mission”
Ignited a civil war fuse.

Technorati Tags: Civil War, Iraq War, Pundits, Mission, Satire

As SNL’s Churchlady used to say, “How con-veeeeeeee-ni-ent!”  I’m referring, of course, to the Saddam Hussein death by hanging sentence, which just happened to be announced two days before Election Day. Uh-huh … right.

A Convenient Noose (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Saddam’s death sentence.
Serendipitous? Hardly!
Leave no scheme behind.

Technorati Tags: Saddam Hussein, Death Penalty, Death By Hanging, Election Day Humor, SNL’s Churchlady 

Dear Dub,

You seem to be having a tough time telling the difference between “tactics” and “strategy.” Perhaps this haiku will help:

Tactic: Language games.
Strategy: Deceive voters.
Goal: Win at all cost. 

Technorati Tags: Bush Haiku, Election Humor, Voters, Bush Lies, Language Games, Iraq Strategy, War Tactics, War Goals

The “He Misled” Theme Song (Sing to the Mr. Ed Theme Song.)
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Bush never said “stay the course,” of course.
And no one can challenge this ass of horse.
He lies, perforce, to change the course of election day ahead.

Go right to the source. He’ll lie of course.
Won’t give you an answer that you’ll endorse.
He’s never on a truthful course.
Lies you will be fed.

Pundits yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day.
And talking heads will rarely challenge the lies that the Bushies say.

George Dubya has no remorse, of course,
And Georgie will lie till his voice is hoarse.
He’d love to rule all the world by force.

But listen to this:

Happy days ahead!

(My previous “stay the course” humor is here and my song parodies are collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Stay The Course, Election Day, Bush Misled,  Bush Lies, Talking Heads, Pundits

Watching Dubya lie isn’t exactly a novelty.  But claiming he never said “stay the course” is pretty damn brazen, even for Bush. And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Bush Stays His Lying Course
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Of Iraq Dubya said, “stay the course.”
He repeated it till he was hoarse.
Yet he lies and avers:
I never used those words.
From the facts and the truth Dub’s divorced.

For more on this topic, check out Last Days Of President Bush, Just One Minute, Balloon Juice, Donklephant, Media Matters, The Washington Post and, on a lighter note, Don Davis.

Technorati Tags: Stay The Course, Bush Lies, Iraq Humor

What Atrios said, but in a pair of haiku:

Bin Laden is back,
Touted in GOP ads.
They’re proud of failure?

Frightening people
Is the goal of terrorists,
Like the GOP.

Technorati Tags: Terrorism, GOP Ads, Bin Laden, Scare Tactics, Bush Failure

Every time I start thinking the press may finally be doing its job, I run across another example of media laziness and gullibility.  

For instance, the record shattering August U.S. trade deficit received minimal coverage, almost as if it were a non-event.

Yet many “journalists” seemed all too eager to report, unchallenged, Bush’s “halving the budget deficit” claim, though this assertion is patently false.

But perhaps I’m not being fair. Cause let’s face it,  Bush style accounting could improve just about anybody’s budget. Think how rosy yours would look if, with the flick of a black pen, you moved major expenses (housing? energy?) off budget.

And now it’s time for a limerick duo:

Trading On Fiction
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The trade gap is higher than ever.
Will Republicans fix it? No, never!
Yet the GOP yells:
“The economy’s swell.”
Don’t forget to click “Dem” with that lever.

Budget Reality Gap
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The deficit’s halved, claims George Dub.
But it’s gone way, way up. There’s the rub.
Yet the press prints and buys
Georgie Dubya’s big lies.
Once again, hard reality’s scrubbed.

For your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* Norm at OneGood Move brings us the always hilarious Lewis Black.
* Skippy brings us a Kerry cahones video. (Now he grows a pair?)
* From Kevin Hayden, GOP’s Top Bloggers Abandon Ship, While Remaining in Denial.
* From Don Davis, Top Ten Things The Bushies Are Saying Behind The Evangelicals’ Backs.
* From The Talking Dog, an interview with Dr. Steven Miles, medical professor at the U. of Minnesota, and author of “Oath Betrayed” discussing medical complicity in torture, prisoner abuse, et al, in the war on terror.

Technorati Tags: Deficit Spending, Budget Deficit, Trade Deficit, Trade Gap, Press Humor, Gullible Journalists, Budget Lies, Off Budget Items

Bush is still rejecting the idea of bilateral talks with North Korea, claiming that they failed to work during Bill Clinton’s administration. Meanwhile, Bush’s flame throwing surrogate, John McCain, says North Korea’s nuclear test, conducted nearly six years into Dubya’s presidency, is Bill Clinton’s fault.  So, does that mean Monica was Bush Sr.’s fault?

And that brings me to my latest haiku:

The Buck Stops … On Clinton? (Haiku)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

North Korea’s nukes
Are Clinton’s fault, claims McCain.
Bill’s still Prez?  Who knew?

Update: Right after John “Straight Talk” McCain’s finger pointing, McCain blasted people for North Korea related finger pointing.

Technorati Tags: Bilateral Talks, Nuclear Tests, Nuclear Technology, Senator McCain, President Clinton, North Korea Sanctions

Nuclear Test? Testy Prez
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

A part of the “axis of evil,”
North Korea has caused some upheaval.
It claims to have nukes,
Which inspired rebukes
From our fear-mong’ring Prez medieval.

More about North Korea’s nuclear threat:
* From Heather Wokusch, North Korea’s Nuclear Test and Bush’s FUBAR Foreign Policy.
* From Mona at Inactivist, On the NoKo bomb: Do not “describe it almost in breathless World War III terms,” and vote GOP.
* From Steve Bates, Hackses of Evil.
* From Taylor Marsh, North Korea Got The Message.
* From Glenn Greenwald, Invading Iraq and the North Korean Threat — a Historical Reminder.

And for your general reading pleasure:
* From Don Davis, It’s The E-Sodomy Stupid.
* Carnival of the Decline of Democracy.

Technorati Tags: Axis Of Evil, North Korea, Nuclear Proliferation, Nuclear Tests