Healthy, Or Half-Baked?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My spouse likes to lie in the sun,
Absorbing those rays just for fun.
As for me, I hate sweat.
I’d not bask on a bet.
It’s unsav’ry to bake till you’re done.
(My health humor is collected here.)
UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.
Tasty Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
There are folks who like food rather bland,
In which all trace of flavor’s been banned.
But if I had my wishes,
They’d serve fiery dishes
In ev’ry last joint in the land.
UPDATE: June 10th is National Herbs And Spices Day.
Being a feminist, even a moderate feminist like me, can make it tough to dodge duties unsuited to the squeamish. In my case, squirrel removal.
Like most people, I prefer my squirrels outdoors. So I wasn’t exactly pleased when a squirrel decided to invade my turf. One morning last winter, when I was barely awake and shuffling down our basement stairs, something with a bushy tail flashed past me, mere inches from my toes. So I ask you, what’s a feminist to do? Yell hysterically? Scream for help? Well, … yes. I also scrambled up the steps, slammed the door, and told myself the squirrel would find its own way out.
For the next few hours I wondered what my squirrel was up to. I even tried to talk myself into marching downstairs and facing him down. Or creeping downstairs and checking things out. Or opening the cellar door just a crack, peering down the steps, and shutting the door fast before the squirrel became suspicious.
What kind of feminist was I, I asked myself, as I paced a floor above the intruder. Surely Gloria Steinem would stand her ground against a tiny rodent. Thank goodness I wasn’t famous enough to be a Rush Limbaugh target. “Femi-Nazi hypocritical wimp Madeleine Begun Kane is ascared of a wee little squirrel,” he’d surely say if he knew I existed. … (A Squirrely Lesson is continued here.)
UPDATE: Happy Squirrel Appreciation Day, January 21st!
“You’re gonna swing dance in this weather? Are you insane?”
I’ve been asked that a lot lately, which isn’t surprising when you consider this summer’s humidity and heat wave. New York City’s weather has been so unbearable, that felons have switched from car theft to stealing AC’s. … (Jump, Jive, and Sweat is continued here.)
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
Mad Kane (Madeleine Begun Kane) is a writer, musician, and "recovering lawyer." She won the Robert Benchley Society Award For Humor and enjoys writing limericks, song parodies, and current events haiku.
You can email her at madkane@madkane.com, visit her political humor blog, or stop by her home page.