When their granddad discussed his affairs,
He declared they’d be heirs with large shares
Of investments extensive
And assets expensive.
It turns out he was putting on airs.
Archive for the ‘Wordplay’ Category
Heirs Apparent (Limerick)
Saturday, October 23rd, 2021Messy Limerick
Wednesday, October 20th, 2021A gal, an industrious knitter,
Showed a huge heap of knits to her sitter:
“It’s a mess, I confess.
If you sort it, dear Tess,
I shall give you the pick of the litter.”
(Worldwide Knit In Public Day is the 2nd Saturday of June.)
Secret Affairs (Limerick)
Monday, October 18th, 2021Two women, good friends, worked backstage.
Each was “dating” a man half her age:
A man on the crew.
Which one? Neither knew.
It turns out, both were on the same Page.
Handy Limerick
Tuesday, October 12th, 2021At the piano the man’s an old hand;
He is one of the best in the land.
But he still has regrets
And never forgets:
Having more than one hand would be grand.
Sketchy Artist (Limerick)
Wednesday, October 6th, 2021A sketch artist’s drawings were raw
And flawed, rarely gazed at with awe.
Yet he won an award
For his “Gourd With A Sword.”
Fellow artists swore: “Luck of the Draw!”
Nailed It (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 5th, 2021I called a new carpenter, Ned,
Cuz the first guy screwed up and then fled.
When I showed him the job
Ned said, “Fix it? No prob!”
Then he hit the nail right on the head.
Happy Golf Lovers Day! (October 4) (Limerick)
Monday, October 4th, 2021Though I’m no fan of golf, I couldn’t resist writing a Golf Lovers Day limerick:
As a golfer swigged beer in a pub,
He bitched and he gobbled his grub:
“I’ve been flubbing my putts.
Being drubbed drives me nuts!”
The response to that putz? “Join the club!”
Dither And Yawn? (Limerick)
Thursday, September 30th, 2021When someone mentioned the word “dither” in a word-related Facebook group I belong to, I couldn’t resist the challenge of using it in a limerick:
Indecision is dicey. Don’t dither,
Or you’ll wither while plucking that zither.
Don’t quiver and quaver!
Be brave! Never waver,
Or risk running hither and thither.
Fishing For An Alibi (Limerick)
Saturday, September 25th, 2021“It’s easy to hoodwink that stinker,”
Said a man of his wife, a big drinker.
“When coition’s my mission,
She thinks I’m out fishin’…
And falls for it hook, line, and sinker.”
Know-It-All Limerick
Wednesday, September 8th, 2021“I’ve proven you’re wrong! Now eat crow,”
Said a know-it-all fellow, named Joe,
Who could not help but howl
At the answer re fowl:
“I’m allergic to poultry, so NO!”
To-Two-Too Much (Limerick) by Madeleine Begun Kane
Monday, November 23rd, 2020“Two” is larger than one; less than three.
“Too” replaces your “also” with glee.
“Too” means “overly” too.
It’s too much? I’m not through!
Go to “to” to be done … and you’re free.
Irked By Acronyms (Limerick)
Monday, May 13th, 2019JOMO is Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day, which prompted this acronym rant:
I’m annoyed by the acronym FOMO,
As well as its opposite, JOMO.
“Missing out” is MO’s meaning.
FO’s “fear.” Are you gleaning
That JO connotes “joy?” Kindly, NOMO!
(NOMO means “no more.”)
My Fickle Memory (Limerick)
Thursday, September 14th, 2017Dictionary.com’s Word of the Day is mickle. Hence this limerick:
My memory’s terribly fickle;
Can’t recall what words mean. That’s a pickle!
And a big one, at that,
When you wear a scribe’s hat.
what the hell is the meaning of mickle?
Fun With Language (2-Verse Limerick)
Saturday, September 5th, 2015Fun With Language (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Is there any original pun?
Is there wordplay that’s never been done?
With our language so strange
There’s unlimited range
To be playful, inventive, have fun.
We are homophone/homonym rich.
(Though ad hominem hits make me twitch.)
And later or sooner
The likes of Rev Spooner
Bewitch with the swull of a pitch.
I Don’t Mean To Be Sharp, But… (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 22nd, 2015I Don’t Mean To Be Sharp, But… (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Though many still call it a “pound sign,”
I’ll bet “hashtag” becomes the renowned sign.
It’s the “number sign” too?
Plus an “octothorpe?” Boo!
And a “crosshatch?” My face bears a frowned sign.
Limerick Rut
Wednesday, April 15th, 2015Limerick Rut
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was stuck in a rut.
It depressed him down deep in his gut.
So he vowed to reform
And conform to the norm–
He would curb all his groovin’ on smut.
Distaff Limerick
Sunday, March 29th, 2015Distaff Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
If “distaff’s” a word you forget,
You needn’t search books or the net.
It’s a not-so-nice mention
Of gals. Comprehension
Is easy. Think “dissed half.” All set?
A Playful Quatrain
Wednesday, January 7th, 2015There’s wit that is lambent.
There’s humor that’s bent.
I’m feeling quite sheepish;
Had to search what “lambent” meant.
(Inspired by the Twitter #WordStew prompt: LAMBENT.)
View my Lambent quatrain image here.
Limerick Dry Run (The Evolution of a Limerick)
Thursday, November 14th, 2013When I’m looking for limerick ideas, I sometimes visit idiom list sites, like this one. Then I’ll select an idiom that might work meter-wise and that ends with a common rhyme sound.
And so today, I challenged myself to write a limerick that contains the phrase “dry run.” Unconsciously inspired, perhaps, by the inept roll-out of Obamacare, I wrote these two lines:
A software firm held a dry run
But the coding, alas, wasn’t done…
I swiftly thought up an acceptable “B-rhyme,” but then got stuck at line 5. The best I could come up with was an ending that employed yet another idiom: “under the gun.” But I still couldn’t think of a line 5 that was even slightly clever.
And then I got an idea: create some wordplay by revising another line, adding specificity to the subject matter. Here’s the result:
Limerick Dry Run
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A software firm held a dry run,
But the arms-tracking code wasn’t done.
It failed test after test,
Till the owner confessed:
“I’m too stressed to work under the gun.”
