Archive for the ‘Limerick Contest’ Category
Saturday, April 25th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using SLIDE at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
The trombonist begged,”Please let this slide.”
But the band leader’s answer was snide:
“You’re banned from my band
Cuz I simply can’t stand
Any man who makes time with my bride.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Humor & Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Trombone, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 90 Comments »
Saturday, April 25th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to GARY HENDERSON, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Since her kitty was always quite wet,
She consulted the neighborhood vet.
He prodded and poked.
“I’d do more,” he half joked,
“But really, we’ve only just met!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Sue Dulley, Kirk Miller, Fred Bortz, Charley Simmons, Will T. Laughlin, Allen Wilcox, Dave Johnson, and Tim James. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
He was famed for superb “Crepes Suzette”;
All the food critics loved him, and yet
In his “Beef Cannelloni”
Were kitten and pony –
The chef bought supplies from a vet.
Sue Dulley:
A man tours the world on a jet
While thousands of dollars in debt.
“Thank goodness” he smiles
“For aeroplan miles,
Or I might have to sell the Corvette.”
Kirk Miller:
In southeastern Asia I met
A veterinarian, Brett.
He has moved to the States.
His competitor hates
That he says he’s a Vietnam vet.
Fred Bortz:
A vigorous volatile vet
Had a vibrating viperous pet.
Voracious for voles,
It victimized moles.
His rattler’s named “Rodents’ Regret.”
Charley Simmons:
A gal took her hound to the vet
With a story he hadn’t heard yet:
“I bent over this morning.
He jumped me — no warning.
Trim his nails. He’s my favorite pet.”
Will T. Laughlin:
When the kids go to bed, don’t forget:
We must always take care not to let
Grandpa put ’em to sleep.
Though his kindness runs deep,
He’s forgetful … and once was a vet.
Allen Wilcox:
Those running so far are all wet.
We know little about them, and yet,
They’re all dogs, one can see–
Almost all GOP.
It’s clear that they all need a vet.
Dave Johnson:
The sax player wanted to vet
A new drummer to join his quintet.
Her style was just right
And he hoped that he might
One day soon get to play with her set.
Tim James:
She’s a sight that I’ll never forget:
Lean and muscular, curvy and wet.
I caress her, and she
Opens up, welcomes me.
I so loves me that cherry-red ’Vette.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Charley Simmons, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Gary Henderson, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Sue Dulley, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (210)
Saturday, April 18th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using “VET” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
On a trip with his dog to the vet,
A fellow attempted to pet
A fish-lover’s guppy.
“That isn’t a puppy,”
Yelled the vet, who was doggone upset.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Animal & Pet Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Veterinarians, Vetting Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 92 Comments »
Saturday, April 18th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to SHANNON TUCKER, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Shannon Tucker:
I begged of her, “Please let me stick
“My tongue deep inside it real quick.”
She replied with a wink,
“Of course!” and turned pink
Cotton candy t’ward me for a lick.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Tim James, Brian Allgar, Will T. Laughlin, Stephen B. Fleming, Konrad Schwoerke, and Nate Levin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
If Jack wasn’t nimble or quick
When vaulting that flame-yielding stick,
He’d have damaged his pride,
Disappointed his bride,
And there’d be no Jack Junior or Nick.
Dave Johnson:
She met a new fella named Nick
Who wanted to show her a trick.
With a pill called Cialis,
His two-minute phallus
Turned into a four-hour stick.
Tim James:
A proton attempted a trick:
He pulled others close-in to him, thick.
That’s a problem, because
It breaks physical laws.
Not to worry: the charges won’t stick.
Brian Allgar:
I was proud of my magical trick,
And her clothes disappeared double-quick.
Then I pulled out my wand,
But she laughed, that young blonde,
At my minuscule conjurer’s stick.
Will T. Laughlin:
After shooting the bear, hunter Vic
Stood poking the beast with a stick.
What would happen, we said,
If it wasn’t quite dead?
And Vic replied, “Don’t be ridic–”
Stephen B. Fleming:
A reply to a hot, friendly chick
Who asked for ride to a flick
Was much misconstrued
And considered quite lewd
When I asked, “ Can you handle a stick?”.
Konrad Schwoerke:
There once was a caveman named Glick
Who in rage gave a tree a swift kick.
To the ground fell a bough
That he grabbed yelling, “Yow!
Dudes, come quick—me invented the stick!”
Nate Levin:
All that mud thrown at Hill, will it stick?
Is she raving, quite power-mad, sick?
Well with iron for skin,
Raining barbs won’t dig in–
She’s hard-baked to repel every brick!
Will T. Laughlin:
Poor Jack is too nimble and quick
Finding places his candle to stick.
Now his candle is burning…
He’s finally learning
Where not to be dipping his wick.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Nate Levin, Shannon Tucker, Stephen Fleming, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, April 4th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using STICK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner on April 19, right before I post the next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 18 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
The conductor was wielding his stick,
While screaming: “The strings are too quick,
And the woodwinds are slow.”
This made double reeds blow;
Yelled the oboe, “You don’t know a lick!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Conductor Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Music Humor & Verse, Oboe Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Music Reviews, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 118 Comments »
Saturday, April 4th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
They were sunbathing out on their deck,
Tanned all over, not wearing a speck.
Through binocular glasses
I ogled their asses,
And soon had a very stiff … neck.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Colleen Murphy, Scott Crowder, Stephen Fleming, Dave Johnson, Kaye Roberts, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Colleen Murphy:
The woman had wanted to deck
The fellow who wrote her a check.
“For one, I’m a looker,
But clearly no hooker
And two, that’s the price for a peck!”
Scott Crowder:
My right cheek is burning like heck.
It’s red all the way to my neck.
I misspoke a word,
Or perhaps she misheard
When I asked her to sit on my deck.
Stephen Fleming:
A captain was striving to check
His foundering seafaring trek,
As his mutinous crew
Formed a startling queue
To punch him out square on the deck.
Dave Johnson:
While out on a wilderness trek,
They’ll sleep on a cold, craggy deck.
But at home she will say
“I’m hurting today;
Our mattress is lumpy as heck!”
Kaye Roberts:
A gambler once salted the deck
With aces, thus risking his neck.
But he won all the cash
Which he put in his stash
And gen’rously picked up the check.
Will T. Laughlin:
Poor Cap’n Jack’s barge is a wreck:
He tried to say, “All hands on DECK…”
But the order that Jack sent
Was spoiled by his accent.
They thought he was saying… (oh, blecch!)
Old Cap’n Jack’s eyes, they grew large
When he saw what went on in his barge.
I’m told upon landing
The misunderstanding
Resulted in seaman discharge.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Dave Johnson, Kaye Roberts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Stephen Fleming, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | Comments Off on Limerick of the Week (208)
Saturday, March 28th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using DECK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
While checking his freshly built deck,
A man felt some bites on his neck.
He inspected, then cursed:
“Damn mosquitos! The worst!
I will deck you. Bugs ain’t on the spec.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Forms | 60 Comments »
Saturday, March 28th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
Will T. Laughlin:
The sailors, all drunk on Jim Beam,
Lie strewn below-deck. It would seem
That a nuclear sub
Is no place for a pub,
Unless Sub Bourbon Sprawl is your scheme.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kirk Miller, Sue Dulley, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kirk Miller:
When I compliment folks, it does seem
They’ll be more self-assured and they’ll beam.
It will boost the morale
Of a guy or a gal,
So give praise and just let off esteem.
Sue Dulley:
Twelve builders, a highly-skilled team
Enjoying their lunch on a beam
Up somewhere near heaven–
Wait, now there’s eleven,
Which may just explain that loud scream.
Brian Allgar:
The Sun was eclipsed – not a beam! –
And the Moon, for a while, reigned supreme.
But her plan to usurp
Was as brief as a burp,
Just a transient lunatic scheme.
Dave Johnson:
Way up goes another steel beam;
To be placed like a stitch in a seam.
We’re here in Dubai
Where they reach for the sky
With the cash from unleaded Supreme.
Will T. Laughlin:
On the seventh day (trashed on Jim Beam),
God grew bored — and came up with a scheme:
He laughed as He stuck
Some spare parts from a duck
On a beaver. Voilà! Monotreme.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Kirk Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Sue Dulley, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using BEAM at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
The gymnast got high scores on beam,
But was hurled off the vault with a scream.
Seems some slippery foe
Had greased it — a blow
That pummeled the ranks of her team.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Gymnast Humor, Gymnastics, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor, Sports Limerick, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Sports Humor | 78 Comments »
Saturday, March 21st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
I’ve been lost in the desert all day,
And my clothes are beginning to fray.
Now the vulture team dips,
And they’re smacking their lips
As the biggest one quips “Let us prey.”
Congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Will T. Laughlin, Kevin Ahern, Brian Allgar, Fred Bortz, Dave Johnson, and Byron Ives. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Will T. Laughlin:
Those folks cause my temper to fray,
Who claim it’s a choice to be gay.
But I’ll lower my voice:
Being dumb is no choice,
And you can’t pray the Stupid away.
Kevin Ahern:
A sex-changing Swede in the fray
Said the surgery all went OK.
This ex-woman wrote
In a notable quote
“I sure wasn’t Bjorn yesterday.”
Brian Allgar:
The skydiver found with dismay
That his chute was beginning to fray.
It was no use at all
When he entered free fall,
And he ended his dive as purée.
Fred Bortz:
I’ve been watching my good nature fray
As climate deniers delay.
That Tea Party faction
Blocks government action.
All we need, they profess, is to pray.
Dave Johnson:
He insisted on having his way,
And her nerves were beginning to fray.
So she said “OK, fine
Then you pick the wine;
But please, no more boxed Chardonnay!”
Byron Ives:
We met at a Waikiki fray.
I fetched us Mai Tais right away.
She said with a wink,
“Gee, thanks for the drink.
I suppose you’re expecting a lei?”
And congratulations to STEVE WHITRED, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a clever multi-verse limerick.
Does the thought of a nuclear fray
On your mind ever heavily weigh?
To allay your concern
It might help if you learn
From a story I’d like to convey.
We were close, in a land far away
To a plan that Iran would obey.
But before they could sign
The proverbial line
Junior Cotton stepped into the fray.
Cotton’s hope was to cause a delay
Or to side-track, unsettle, and fray
Global nuclear talks
While congressional hawks
Rattle sabers and bluster and bray.
Junior Cotton contends by the way
That the presidency is passé,
That a deal with ‘The Chief’
Would be worthless and brief
And in statecraft the Senate holds sway.
But his stupid seditious display
Caused the Tea Party caucus to fray.
And while they’re walking back
His subversive attack
Saner statesmen will Kerry the day.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Ives, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Kevin Ahern, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 14th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “FRAY” or “DEFRAY” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
My mood is horrific today.
My temper’s beginning to fray.
I’ve been summoned to court,
And money is short,
So somebody’s going to pay.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 86 Comments »
Saturday, March 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny acrostic limerick:
Plutocracy claims wealth’s a prize,
Rewarding hard work. It’s all lies:
In fact, many show
Zero skill making dough,
Except when a relative dies.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Dave Johnson, Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, and Fred Bortz. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James, whose limerick is directed to a Benjamin Franklin quote:
Mr. Franklin, you need to apprise
Ev’ry man: if he’s early to rise
After early to bed,
He’s got rocks in his head
’Cause his lady will date other guys.
Dave Johnson:
She thought she might win the big prize
On that show with those glamorous guys.
But a singer she ain’t;
Her voice blistered paint.
Now she’s back once again serving fries.
Allen Wilcox:
All members of Congress must rise
To show that they know that it’s wise
To continue all fights
For strong civil rights,
By keeping their ayes on the prize.
Brian Allgar:
Dr. Spooner said: “I must apprise
My detractors – your jokes are unwise.
I tell you,” he grumbled,
“My stung never tumbled;
It’s all been a great lack of pies.”
Fred Bortz:
He cannot believe what he spies.
What a rack, what great ankles and thighs!
But the view from behind
Is what’s blowing his mind.
Callipygian gals win the prize!
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Dave Johnson, Fred Bortz, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, March 7th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “PRIZE” or “APPRISE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my two-verse limerick:
An email arrived to apprise
A woman that one of her pies
Won a prize — came in third,
But she later got word
That her pie caused the judges’ demise:
“You’ve poisoned our judges, good lord,
With that pastry of yours they adored.”
“Yes, the cops came,” she said.
“I was sleeping in bed.
Tell me, when do I get my award?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Baking Humor, Baking Limerick, Competition Limerick, Contest Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Pie Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Prize Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 80 Comments »
Saturday, March 7th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
I’ve a fetish for moisture: a moat,
Or some pond, or a pool gets my vote.
Any sex is way better
When things are way wetter;
It’s water that’s floating my boat.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kevin Ahern, Fred Bortz, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Allen Wilcox, Scott Crowder, Will T. Laughlin, and Steve Whitred. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Kevin Ahern:
It’s with sorrow I send you this note.
The repairmen has said and I quote,
“The TV’s in danger;
With no channel changer
Its recovery chance is remote.”
Fred Bortz:
Santorum is known to emote,
“First man-on-man, then man-on-goat!”
Said a goatherd named Thomas,
“If that is a promise,
Then Rick will be getting my vote!”
Brian Allgar:
The actress could never emote;
On the screen, she recited by rote.
But the girl was no slouch
On the old casting-couch,
So they chose her by popular vote.
Colleen Murphy:
My five-year old left us a note:
“I’m heading to places remote
Cause father and mother
You gave me a brother
And no one considered my vote.”
Allen Wilcox:
With chances of winning remote,
The head of the party took note,
“Put away all your tissues;
Can’t win on the issues,
So let’s try suppressing the vote.”
Scott Crowder:
I asked her last night and I quote,
“Where the hell is that fucking remote?”
It soon came to pass,
It’s so far up my ass,
I change channels by clearing my throat.
Will T. Laughlin:
We got in our vessel to float
Far away to an island remote
Where there’s no damned TV.
Hold it — who’s this I see?
Is that Gilligan? BACK TO THE BOAT!
Steve Whitred:
She said “Dear, we’ve become so remote,
And I fear on the nanny you dote.”
He said “Darling, I swear
I’ve not touched the Au Pair,
But I have been beguiled by the goat.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Fred Bortz, Kevin Ahern, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Steve Whitred, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest | 4 Comments »
Saturday, February 21st, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using EMOTE or REMOTE or MOAT at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner early March 8, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your extended submission deadline is Saturday, March 7, at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
An actress who tends to emote
Over nonsense was grabbed by the throat
By an actor one day.
’Twasn’t part of the play,
But his mode of theatrical note.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Acting Limerick, Actor Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Theater Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Actors & Actresses, Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 95 Comments »
Saturday, February 21st, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to STEVE WHITRED, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
An agent with humor too droll
Has been dumped and is out on the dole.
Ninety-nine and The Chief
Are both filled with relief
To know Maxwell is out of control.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Tim James, Edward von Muir, Colleen Murphy, Jon Gearhart, Brian Allgar, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Tim James:
At the bridge I expected a troll,
But two beautiful gals took the role
Of collecting the fare.
Who’s in charge over there?
You should ask not for whom the belles toll.
Edward von Muir:
While driving my Nissan Patrol,
I hit, near the boreal pole,
Some old geezer in red,
And I left him for dead,
So for Christmas I only got coal.
Colleen Murphy:
The guard on the bridge was a troll.
He told me he wanted my soul,
But I said, “It’s too late!
Valentino, my mate,
Has already levied that toll.”
Jon Gearhart:
South Korea, right after patrol,
I went into this watering hole.
I told tales and had drinks.
They served food that I think’s
Best summed up as the filly of Seoul.
Brian Allgar:
The golfer was built like a troll
And a fine hole in one was his goal.
But he fumbled the stunt,
And the player in front
Told him “Ouch! You’re in quite the wrong hole!”
Will T. Laughlin:
Don’t respond to the Internet Troll:
If you do, he’ll succeed in his goal.
To his lair in the deep
CAPS-LOCH Ness he will creep,
Bearing with him a piece of your soul.
Will T. Laughlin:
Oh joy. I’ve defeated the Troll,
And discovered a magical scroll.
Though my character’s plungin’
Deep into the dungeon,
My love life’s a much deeper hole.
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Edward von Muir, John Gearhart, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Steve Whitred, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 2 Comments »
Saturday, February 14th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “TROLL” or “PATROL” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here are my two limericks:
A cop while on ev’ning patrol
Jailed a vagrant who’d stolen a bowl
Of hot soup for his meal.
It seems many folks feel
That stealing’s a RICH person’s role.
and
I’ve been asked as the rhyming patrol
If roll can be rhymed with parole:
With their stressed sound the same
(Roll and role) I must flame
Such a “rhyme,” if true rhyming’s your goal.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 84 Comments »
Saturday, February 14th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to WILL T. LAUGHLIN, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
“Can you tell me,” the funnyman quips
(A self-satisfied smirk on his lips,
And with giggles a-boil),
“Why the moon’s like a mohel?
’Cause ’e goes to your son, and ’e clips!”
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Tim James, Byron Miller a/k/a Errol Nimbly, Scott Crowder, and Will T. Laughlin. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
The plumber used solder and clips,
And wrenches and pliers and grips.
He made quite a racket,
And charged me a packet,
But STILL that confounded tap drips.
Tim James:
Her co-workers suck: They eclipse
Bright ideas from anyone’s lips.
A collection of hacks!
Like a bowl full of snacks,
This poor gal is surrounded by dips.
Byron Miller:
Mid-movie she gets up and skips
To the snack bar for chocolaty chips.
As she passes the screen
She then adds to the scene
The effect of a lunar eclipse.
Brian Allgar:
The gambler has run out of chips,
And his bill-folds are just empty clips.
“Can I wager with sex?
She’s as stacked as your decks,
And you’re welcome to poker,” he quips.
Scott Crowder:
She slowly removes her hair clips
And sensuously gyrates and strips,
Yet causes him worry;
If she doesn’t hurry,
He’ll finish before he unzips.
Will T. Laughlin:
The thrills of Las Vegas eclipse
Good sense and economy. Trips
For a Teachers’ Convention
Too often to mention
Turn into “Goodbye, Mr. Chips.”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Brian Allgar, Byron Miller, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Scott Crowder, Tim James, Will T. Laughlin, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 1 Comment »
Saturday, February 7th, 2015
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “CLIPS” or “ECLIPSE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
While an actress was showing her clips
Which featured her just enlarged lips,
She sipped from a cup
And her lips, all puffed up,
Caused the liquid to drip on her hips.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Actresses, Appearance Humor, Competition Limerick, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Plastic Surgery, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest | 96 Comments »
Saturday, February 7th, 2015
It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.
Congratulations to JON GEARHART, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:
A race home between tortoise and hare
Is essentially not very fair.
Though the hare is quite quick,
It’s a shell game. That prick,
The tortoise, is already there!
Congratulations to JONATHAN JENSEN, on winning the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this funny limerick:
When I look at the gray in my hair,
I never give way to despair.
Though I long for a ’do
With a more youthful hue,
I’m mostly just glad it’s still there.
And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Brian Allgar, Colleen Murphy, Lisi Ardissone, Konrad Schwoerke, Byron Ives, David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose, Val Fish, and Allen Wilcox. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:
Brian Allgar:
For the fancy-dress ride, what to wear?
Her husband said “Go as a bear.”
But Godiva misheard,
So she mounted and spurred
And rode forth wearing only her hair.
Colleen Murphy:
Said the hunter, “I won fair and square
And with no double-counting, I swear.
It is not a mistake.
When they tallied my take,
They told me I’d won by a hare.”
Lisi Ardissone:
I altered the shade of my hair
To give it a little more flair.
When my husband came home,
He said, “Oh, Marone!
Are you planning to have an affair?”
Konrad Schwoerke:
A new ’do? Why the hell would I care
What you do to your own freakin’ hair?
Though I do wish you’d learn
That my only concern
Is it’s not an obstruction down there.
Byron Ives:
She sported long, sexy, blonde hair
And worked at the fresh produce fair.
I reckoned her peaches
Were out of my reaches,
But jeepers, she had a nice pear!
David Lefkovits a/k/a Dr. Goose:
With a toss of her silvery hair,
She said to him: “Now then, mon cher;
While we wait for your phallus
To go and Cialis,
There’s much you can do below there.”
Val Fish:
Last night, I shaved off all my hair.
No, not on my head, but ‘down there.’
When faced with the sight,
My hubby took flight.
My bald patch was too bare to bear.
Allen Wilcox:
The fruit vendor’s wife was a bear:
“Shape up and get out of my hair.”
He took it in stride,
Although, puzzled, he sighed,
“But why did she say ‘get a pear?’”
Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.
In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Allen Wilcox, Brian Allgar, Byron Ives, Colleen Murphy, David Lefkovits, Jon Gearhart, Jonathan Jensen, Konrad Schwoerke, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Lisi Ardissone, Val Fish, Writing Competitions, Writing Contest
Posted in Contests, Limerick Award Winners, Limerick Contest, Limerick Of The Week, Limerick Writing Contest, Limericks | 8 Comments »
