Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Hair or Hare at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “hair” or “hare” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s are my two limericks, one for “hair” and one for “hare.”

When a man lost a race by a hair,
He objected: “I won. It’s not fair!
Both my feet got there first.
But it seems that I’m cursed
Cuz I’m bald. Just his mane beat me there.”


A woman had offered to share
A meal with her boyfriend — roast hare.
He responded, “Not funny!
It looks like my bunny.”
Then he fled to she doesn’t know where.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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87 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: Hair or Hare at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Jon Gearhart says:

    When my wife starts in splitting a hair,
    I know that the fight won’t be fair.
    When she starts calling names
    Like jackass, she claims
    It’s because it’s my new nom de guerre.

  2. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Last night, I drank more than my share,
    And this morning, I barfed on my chair.
    Jeez, I’m already sick,
    So please don’t be a dick,
    I won’t swallow some dog’s freakin’ hair!

  3. billgncs says:

    A spot that’s protected by hair
    Can’t be considered quite bare
    Which leaves me perplexed
    And often quite vexed
    When they insist on panties down there

  4. billgncs says:

    oops – change sport to spot :)

    (Note from Mad Kane: Fixed.)

  5. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Both noses held high in the air
    Indicated a tense, watchful pair.
    Then the hound broke and ran;
    See them leap, white and tan!
    Dog despaired: it escaped by a hare.

  6. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Creeped Out

    Well, Chuck Manson was known for his hair
    And for killing (by proxy) his share.
    His “girls” hit up Dennis,
    Then brought him their menace.
    His victims faced that deranged stare…

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    “I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “hair” or “hare” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)”

    Madeleine, relaxing the rules in that way seems to me an excellent idea, and gives far more scope.

  8. Brian Allgar says:

    I’m afraid that I’m losing my hair!
    Just last week, that bald patch wasn’t there,
    So I’ll try to renew
    It with trimmings and glue –
    I’ve got plenty of eyebrows to spare.

  9. Brian Allgar says:

    Her guests were beginning to stare
    At their plates, and the dubious fare.
    “Oh, sorry”, she shrugged,
    “By mistake, I have jugged
    Your chihuahua instead of my hare.”

  10. Jon Gearhart says:

    A race home between tortoise and hare
    Is essentially not very fair.
    Though the hare is quite quick,
    It’s a shell game. That prick,
    The tortoise, is already there!

  11. Brian Allgar says:

    The anatomist thanked Burke and Hare;
    Five guineas per body seemed fair.
    But as he dissected,
    He never suspected
    The corpse had been killed by the pair.

  12. Brian Allgar says:

    For the fancy-dress ride, what to wear?
    Her husband said “Go as a bear.”
    But Godiva misheard,
    So she mounted and spurred
    And rode forth wearing only her hair.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    King Henry is tearing his hair –
    A daughter! It’s really not fair.
    So it’s off with Anne’s head,
    And young Jane shares his bed.
    It’s a boy! Henry has a fresh heir.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    Jon, interfering old geezer that I am, in your ‘tortoise and hare’ piece, the fourth line doesn’t really scan well. Might I suggest “that devious bastard”?

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    Lord Cholmondely had swallowed “a hair
    Of the dog”, then dropped dead in his chair.
    When I called on his son,
    Pitbulls came on the run –
    I was bit by the dog of the heir.

  16. Bjorn says:

    Lady Godiva never walked bare
    cause dressed in her luxurious hair
    she rode down the street
    in decent deceit
    when Tom was struck dead for his stare

    Apparently this is the original peeping Tom :-)

  17. Byron Ives says:

    I’m not about splitting a hair
    But it seems ironic and rare,
    That same sounding words,
    Could all smell like turds:
    ‘Dairy Air’, and of course, ‘Derriere’

  18. Janie Gouge says:

    She was vain about her hair
    So she did her roots with care
    But once was distracted
    The timing protracted
    It’s grown back but took a whole year

  19. rbasler says:

    This lawyer flew into O’Hare
    He was searching for somebody’s heir
    He was dropping big hints
    About an African prince
    But he couldn’t find someone to care…

  20. Val Fish says:

    The missus rumbled our affair
    When she came across a blond hair
    In the marital bed
    (The wife’s a redhead)
    Now it’s curtains for the au pair

  21. Val Fish says:

    Last night I shaved off all my hair
    No, not on my head, but ‘down there ‘
    When faced with the sight
    My hubby took flight
    My bald patch was too bare to bear.

  22. Judith H. Block says:

    I look and I see my grey hair
    I’m young and am thus in despair.
    Not old in my mind-
    To truth, I am blind!
    My age, I’m not willing to share.

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    In Wave Hill I did see a hare.
    So handsome I just had to stare.
    But then he got scared,
    And always prepared,
    He ran fast to hide in his lair.

  24. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was in great despair
    For more than her clothes, she did bare.
    But just as she feared
    The guy disappeared.
    Of him there was no hide or hair.

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    My instincts were screaming, “BEWARE!”.
    A guy with a gun was in there.
    What happened was moot,
    Before he could shoot
    I just made it out by a hair.

  26. I altered the shade of my hair
    To give it a little more flair.
    When my husband came home,
    He said, “Oh, marone!”
    Are you planning to have an affair?

  27. Mark Kane says:

    A woman had offered to share
    Her man with their sexy au pair.
    She voiced a strong craving
    For mutual shaving.
    Now all are so bare without hair.

  28. Donald Lee says:

    Mom said; “Son, don’t you dare!”
    “But Mom,”said I, “Please don’t despair,
    This could make us lots of money,
    and you’ll see I’m no dummy
    and I promise I’ll not you double dare.”

  29. Bob Dvorak says:

    He arrived at the bar with a flair:
    Lab retriever; a rabbit; the pair
    Looked us over. The bunny
    Said, “Might appear funny.
    “It’s a bit of the dog with a hare.”

  30. Donald Lee says:

    Looking out the window high into the trees, I got a scare.
    Squirrels climbing up and down and leaping through the air
    chasing each other in play from one bare tree to another
    balancing and bouncing on tiny branches. Oh my, Oh brother.
    Grabbing life with resolve and strength the width of a hair.

  31. Kenn says:

    This is a pretty classical tale of racing with the hare. Time catches up to us and there is no sense in speeding through it. Be slow like the turtle and enjoy everything that this life has to offer.

  32. P Diane Schneider says:

    I can’t do a thing with my hair
    And I tried to fix it with Nair
    So folks would not jeer
    Or run off in fear
    But now what they all do is stare

  33. Ronald E. Faoro says:

    A young woman with orange hair
    Was eating some fruit at the fair
    She had one of each
    A plum and a peach
    For she already had a nice pear

  34. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A tribute to Madlaine

    Mad Madlaine got kane by his hair
    Mad Begun caned Kane in despair
    Mad’s cane was real tough
    Yo! Not quite enough
    cause’ Kane broke the cane without care.

  35. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    How do i edit my post?

    (Note from Mad Kane: Just post your revised version and I’ll delete your original version. )

  36. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Hair-ied, if Not Harassed

    See that guy down the street, over there?
    Always walks with his nose in the air;
    Some folks say that it’s wrong
    (His neck’s gotta be strong!),
    Looking up through that curtain of hair.

  37. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The Cruel Seem to Rule

    She appeared in a state of repair,
    To the nines, dressed, with fabulous hair.
    But her “friends” had enough
    Of their semi-cute “duff”:
    Jeered at loudly, she tried not to care.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

    If in high school not ugly, but shy,
    Peers’ attention? A poke in the eye :(
    Every new generation
    Flaunts their denigration
    Of “friends”. But time flies, whew! and sigh…

  38. Jon Gearhart says:


    I just saw your suggestion. Thank you. Mad pointed it out to me and I decided to go a slightly different route. After bouncing a few idears off our lovely host, I wound up dropping the extra syllables in L3&4 and throwing in the shell game wordplay. I’m much happier with the final version. I need to start doing my rewrites BEFORE I send in my entries. :-)

  39. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Our home phone’s on the blink: pull my hair!
    Darn, our staticky line needs repair.
    My hon tested the line,
    Though last night it was fine:
    We know there’s a problem, but where?

    We have Century (missing the?) Link
    Due today, 10-2, so we think;
    And the issue’s outside
    (Free to us! We grin wide).
    Pass the o.j., dear ~ I’ll have that drink.

  40. My new boyfriend has no hair,
    But I really do not care.
    He’s rich and kind,
    And very refined,
    And he dances like Fred Astaire.

  41. Mark Kane says:

    I’m more of a tortoise than hare
    In places that aren’t ‘Times Square.’
    But as a ‘New Yawker,’
    Behind a slow gawker,
    I’m likely to race as I swear.

  42. As I was combing my beautiful hair,
    I noticed a little bug there.
    A little louse
    Thought my head was his house.
    And now I’m in intensive care.

  43. Byron Ives says:

    She sported long, sexy, blonde, hair
    And worked at the fresh produce fair
    I reckoned her peaches
    Were out of my reaches,
    But, jeepers, she had a nice pear!

  44. Byron Ives says:

    His fat body covered by hair,
    They coaxed him right out of his lair
    Phil then saw his shadow,
    Which made him skedaddle
    Tsk-tsk, how you northerners swear

  45. Byron Ives says:

    What’s this? In the mirror? It’s a hair?
    Been years since I spotted one there
    Feeling hopeful and vain,
    I bought some Rogaine,
    Now my head AND my wallet are bare

  46. Jon Gearhart says:

    “I shaved my head so bald it’s bare
    As a baby’s butt,” Frank said to Claire.
    “That’s not where likeness ends,”
    Claire said. “I tell my friends
    What’s inside, too, is off just a hair!”

  47. Byron Ives says:

    Ah shit! There’s that freeloading hare!
    He eats my tomato plants bare!
    This time, just for fun
    I’ll get out my gun
    Tonight, hasenpheffer we’ll share

  48. Byron Ives says:

    The leering old man had no hair
    His eyeballing quite frightened Claire
    She left the old schmuck,
    Took the lift, which got stuck
    She should have just taken the stair

  49. Val Fish says:

    Some men have a full head of hair
    Alas, I’ve not got much up there
    Though I may lack in locks
    All the girls say my cock’s
    Compensation beyond compare.

  50. Kirk Miller says:

    The bunny extended a dare
    To race, which the turtle thought fair.
    Rabbit thought he’d prevail,
    But the poor cottontail
    Was chagrined. Tortoise won by a hare.

  51. Kirk Miller says:

    Dr. Jekyll drank potion out where
    He had gone on a rabbit hunt. There
    Were two failures that night.
    Nothing seemed to go right.
    They produced neither Hyde nor hare.

  52. Kirk Miller says:

    The question is “Why do we care?”
    ‘Bout celebrities’ panties and hair.
    A publicity stunt
    Is to flash a gal’s cunt.
    Such nudity’s too much to bare.

  53. Kirk Miller says:

    There once was a woman named Claire;
    With houseflies she’d never despair.
    How’d she keep them away?
    “It is simple,” she’d say.
    “The reason? I’ve fly-away hair.”

  54. Kirk Miller says:

    Debbie Reynolds would pay first class fare,
    Fly back home, have a man do her hair.
    He was suave; was named Mike,
    And the two were alike.
    Don’t you see? They were both debonair.

  55. Kirk Miller says:

    As he matted the photo with care,
    His emotion soon turned to despair.
    His toupee, it fell off,
    And I hope you won’t scoff
    At the outcome: His own matted hair.

  56. As I was combing my beautiful hair,
    I noticed a bug was in there.
    A cute little louse
    Thought my head was his house;
    And I decided to call him Pierre.

  57. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A tribute to Byron Ives
    who shot wide and killed one

    Dear Byron my thoughts if I dare
    your sexy one, sporting her share
    my favorite so far
    I say it’s on par
    and passes her peaches and pear.

  58. Byron Ives says:

    The Expo displayed a weird hare,
    But how could poor Jim Bob get there?
    If he rode in a cab,
    Could he cover the tab?
    Could he scrape up enough for the fair?

  59. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Deer Santa

    She solemnly prayed, “Brrr, night air!
    Please let Santa buy coats, to be fair:
    Don’t his reindeer get cold?
    They can’t be very old
    Yet. Warm Santa, you’ve got all that hair!”

  60. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    24-Carrot Love

    They frolicked and leapt in the air,
    Bold suitor and dainty young hare.
    Jack, he followed his Jill
    Over field and up hill
    ‘Til she caught him: soon, heirs (and a spare).

  61. Premature

    A man tried to sire an heir
    With a maiden of beauty so fair
    He pulled out too quick
    A rather odd tick
    And shot his load in her hair

  62. Bob Leggett says:

    Which colour to dye my hair
    I’m taking a deal of care
    But can’t get beyond
    Various shades of blonde
    Which I guess is only fair

  63. correction: my meter was off, so I will try again!

    As I was combing my hair,
    I found a cute little bug up there.
    It was a little louse,
    Who thought my head was his house,
    And I’ve decided to name him Pierre.

  64. (Rich (In Name Only) In Reno says:

    Alas I am losing my hair
    So I feign being devil may care
    What collects on my hats
    I blame on shedding cats
    Which isn’t entirely fair

  65. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Tuft Love

    Yes indeed, cats shed oodles of hair,
    Our four generously each give their share.
    No, we didn’t inherit
    Sleek-furred pets (a ferret);
    I can testify, hair everywhere:

    In the bathrooms, on chairs and the floor,
    Just look down when you stand in the door;
    And our black cats, good grief!
    It defies all belief.
    Pick it up, turn around, and there’s more…

  66. Byron Ives says:

    She said that she just doesn’t care
    That her boyfriend is challenged for hair
    She said down below
    It aint bush size, oh no,
    It’s finding the twig that lives there

  67. Val Fish says:

    If you fancy a man with hair
    Between nose and lips, then beware
    A prickly tash
    Can give you a rash
    If he dares to venture down there.

  68. There once was a woman who dared
    before sex to rub up with a hare.
    Her suitors said “…’kay”
    it’s weird, but I’ll play,”
    till next time when she’d bring the mare.

  69. Allen Wilcox says:

    He escaped from a fire in his lair,
    And at once began losing his hair.
    Embarrassed was he,
    As an icon, to be
    Now referred to as “Smokey the Bare.”

  70. Allen Wilcox says:

    The fruit vendor’s wife was a bear –
    “Shape up and get out of my hair.”
    He took it in stride,
    Although, puzzled, he sighed,
    “But why did she say ‘get a pear?”

  71. Allen Wilcox says:

    Said Closeau with his usual flair,
    “I so want this case out of my hair.
    I can take quite a bow.
    I know everything now,
    Except how, who, and when, why, and where.”

  72. Byron Ives says:

    The magician down in the square
    Was bombing his magic show there
    His helper betrayed him,
    Screwed acts up and made him
    So mad that he pulled out his hare

  73. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    A new ‘do? Why the hell would I care
    What you do to your own freakin’ hair?
    Though I do wish you’d learn
    That my only concern
    Is it’s not an obstruction down there.

  74. Dr. Goose says:

    With a toss of her silvery hair,
    She said to him: “Now then, mon cher;
    While we wait for your phallus
    To go and Cialis,
    There’s much you can do below there.”

  75. Diane Groothuis says:

    To remove my superfluous hair
    I am using a product called “Nair”
    I think it’s for legs
    But when my moustache begs
    The result seems to be pretty fair.

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    A lady with long golden hair
    Met up with a “guy” at the fair
    Who said “I’m not a man
    But I will if I can”
    So she fainted and fell off her chair.

  77. Tim James says:

    There once was a gal from Eau Claire
    Who applied bright red dye to her hair.
    Does the rug match the curtain?
    Don’t ask how, but I’m certain
    The floor’s highly polished and bare.

  78. My daughter brought home a hare.
    It broke my Chippendale chair.
    “But mother, it’s a Lepus”
    I replied “Lepus, Shmepus”
    “Get it the hell out of here!”

  79. Tim James says:

    A cook with luxuriant hair
    Was preparing dessert, flambéed pear.
    When too close in he came,
    His locks burst into flame.
    For his work he displays quite a flare.

  80. Mark Kane says:

    50 Shades of my silvery hair
    Fill women with lust. I’ll ensnare.
    Oh what was I thinking?
    (I must have been drinking.)
    So much for my kinky affair.

  81. A bored man gave himself a dare
    to see what his head looked like bare.
    In winter, shaved clear
    is no good idea
    now he goes out with hat and fake hair.

  82. If you see a grizzly with hare
    it’s unwise to just stand and stare.
    Just try not to choke
    when you think of that joke
    about wiping. Just run, don’t go there!

  83. Byron Ives says:

    She said her new beau had no hair
    And sex with this dude was just fair
    His nickname was ‘Flipper’,
    No, not for his dipper,
    ‘Cause he’s hung like a light switch down there

  84. Byron Ives says:

    The beach is a good place to stare
    One sees some great boobies down there
    It would make them all retch
    Ogled by such a lech,
    With binocs they’re all unaware

  85. Byron Ives says:

    On my last limerick I did err
    Omitting the called for word there
    I screwed up, I concede
    Number 2 line should read:
    ‘One can even espy pubic hair’

  86. Marty McCullen says:

    When you’re part of a pair,
    Like a cute Teddy Bear,
    You go where you want,
    In back or in front,
    And you don’t raise a hair.

  87. madkane says:

    For technical reasons, I’m forced to post the results and the new Limerick-Off early. (Limericks entered in this past week’s contest between now and the official 10 pm ET deadline remain eligible for HMs and, if chosen, will be added to my Limerick of the Week post.)

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 201.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Rhyme Word CLIPS or ECLIPSE.