In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.
(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)
Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’
The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”
Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.
Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)
Thursday, November 15th, 2018Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Stocks are fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
*************
(ALTERNATIVE VERSIONS)
Poor Donald is mad and depressed.
He’s failing the test to “Be Best.”
Mueller’s fueling his pique.
Wall-dough funding looks bleak…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.
************
Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.
Election Stress (Limerick)
Sunday, November 4th, 2018Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”
I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!
Stealing Georgia? (Limerick)
Friday, October 12th, 2018Kemp’s afraid that more Georgians might vote,
So he blocks them from regist’ring. Note,
He’s intent on defeating
Ms. Abrams by cheating
To keep his Gov prospects afloat.
Donald The Prognosticator (Limerick)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2018WP Headline: “Trump’s insistence on an upcoming ‘red wave’ could make a blue wave higher”
I enjoy watching Donald emote
About upcoming mid-terms; he’ll gloat
About wins and successes.
My hope and best guess is
His base will think “no need to vote!”
The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)
Thursday, August 9th, 2018Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”
Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.
Trump’s Now and Future Limericks
Tuesday, January 9th, 2018You probably know that Trump’s chimed in on the “Oprah presidential run” conversation. But did you also know that Trump’s already composed two Oprah limericks — one for this year and one for 2020?
Fortunately for my readers, I managed to get hold of the only copy:
Trump’s 2018 Limerick:
Though Oprah’s unlikely to run,
I’ll beat her and have lots of fun.
I know her real well
And I think that she’s swell,
But she’ll surely be YUUUGELY outdone.
Trump’s 2020 Limerick:
Dopey Oprah is sorry she ran.
Being prez is a job for a man.
And besides, it’s not clear
She was even born here.
She’s a mopey old flash in the pan.
More BS From Moore (Limerick)
Saturday, December 16th, 2017Headline: “Roy Moore: ‘Battle Is Not Over’ in Senate Race”
The battle’s not over, says Moore.
All your calls to concede, I’ll ignore
The election was flawed.
I’m sure there was fraud.
So send money. Keep funding my war.
Who Ya Gonna Believe? (Limerick)
Saturday, November 11th, 2017Russia meddled, our experts maintain;
Our Democracy’s suffered a stain.
But Donald would rather
Buy Putin’s false blather;
Trump’s owned by Vlad’s hard driving reign.
What Happened? I’ll Tell You What Happened! (Limerick)
Thursday, September 14th, 2017You don’t wish to read Hillary’s book?
That’s just fine, but don’t ask us to brook
All your bitching and moaning,
Begrudging and groaning;
It is YOU who gave US Trump the Crook!
Russian Election Interference — NOT A One-Time Thing (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2017Though people seem prone to adopt
The past tense re the Russians, I’ll opt
To claim present tense crime
Re elections, each time;
There’s no reason to think that they’ve stopped.
Voter’s Remorse? (Limerick)
Tuesday, June 6th, 2017“Are you suff’ring from voter’s remorse?”
That query arises, perforce.
But I’ve yet to hear “yes”
In response, I confess.
Does it cause that much stress to change course?
The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”
Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.
You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)
Tuesday, January 24th, 2017“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”
Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.
Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.
Trump’s Been Limerick-ing Again
Monday, January 16th, 2017Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!
What’s A Few Lies Among GOP Friends? (Limerick)
Monday, December 5th, 2016Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:
“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”
Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!
Trump’s Swamp (Limerick)
Sunday, December 4th, 2016Though he promised with fervor and pomp
That as prez he’d be draining the swamp,
There’s no dredging in sight;
Just corruption and blight,
As Trump’s cronies and billionaires romp.
Open Limerick To Jill Stein Voters
Saturday, December 3rd, 2016Lately I’ve been seeing posts by “Bernie or Buster” Jill Stein supporters whining about the horror that is Donald Trump.
Seems to me they should have thought of that just a wee bit sooner.
Dear “Bernie or Busters” don’t whine
About Trump and the fact he’s a swine.
Your bitching should halt,
Cuz Trump’s win is YOUR FAULT!
Hope your “conscience” is happy with Stein.
Can Humor Survive President Trump? (Limerick)
Saturday, November 12th, 2016Can humor survive Trump’s election?
Wit doesn’t mix well with dejection.
But it weathered the pain
Of the Bush/Cheney reign,
So let’s hope for a short-lived defection.
