Why Trump’s Winning (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
In the GOP would-be-prez race,
Fact-denial’s infected its base.
Pols created a hell
Where their voters can’t tell
Truth from lies — where The Donald’s an ace.
Posts Tagged ‘Campaign Satire’
Why Trump’s Winning (Limerick)
Wednesday, August 19th, 2015Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)
Sunday, August 9th, 2015Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Picture Trump with the GOP nod.
Yes I know that sounds terribly odd.
But its base is bizarre,
And he’s gotten this far…
Plus his rivals are nearly as flawed.
In theory, this might be a boon
For the Democrats: “Clinton v. Loon!”
There are risks though, galore:
If George Bush could “Trump” Gore,
Odds are strong we’d (s)elect this buffoon.
How Trump Will Save Our Nation (Limerick)
Sunday, August 9th, 2015How Trump Will Save Our Nation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
It seems Trump is a very tough cat.
He’ll whip China and Mexico stat
And exact retribution.
His magic solution?
Calling “mean” countries “ugly” and “fat.”
My Debate Prediction (Limerick)
Thursday, August 6th, 2015My Debate Prediction
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Will Trump, while debating, “play nice?”
If he does, Trump will pay a steep price,
Cuz “nice” AIN’T what fans bought;
With just “nice” he’s got naught.
One mild “slight?” He’ll be “Trump” in a trice.
Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)
Sunday, August 2nd, 2015Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
When he’s asked if he’ll run “Independent,”
Trump’s response is with warnings resplendent:
If the RNC’s “fair”
Then I won’t, he’ll declare,
Which explains why Trump-fear is ascendant.
What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, July 30th, 2015What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.
Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”
Dear Media: Stop Already with the “Jeb’s The Sane Republican” Meme!
Wednesday, July 29th, 2015Jeb’s the cure for the GOP mess
Cuz he’s civil — so sayeth the press.
Yet as gov, Jeb was rotten!
Is Schiavo forgotten?
Jeb’s transgressions caused tragic distress.
Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
Monday, July 27th, 2015The guys (and one gal) vying for the Republican presidential nomination are in a bind. With Donald Trump in the picture, it’s virtually impossible to get press coverage and boost poll numbers, even if you say something crazy. But I do have a “modest proposal” for them:
Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Many would-be debaters are freaking
Cuz that spot on the stage that they’re seeking
Is elusive at best;
They’ve been Trumped by a pest.
Here’s a tip for attention: Try streaking.
Too Bad The Donald Can’t Be Docked For Doxing (Limerick)
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015Not that I’m a fan of Sen. Lindsey Graham, but Trump’s giving Graham’s private cell phone number out to the public is disgusting! I wish someone would do the same with Trump’s number, giving him a taste of his own caddish medicine.
And please don’t tell me two wrongs don’t make a right. Donald Trump deserves that and much more … including this limerick:
Lindsey Graham must buy a new cell;
He’s been doxed into mean-caller hell
By the Donald, who thinks
All opponents are finks,
Deserving a Trump “diss and tell.”
Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
Tuesday, July 21st, 2015Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The race has been thrown out of kilter
By Trump, who is lacking a filter.
I have three more lines left,
But I’m sadly bereft
Because “builder,” alas, ain’t spelled “builter.”
Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Republican pols are distraught
Cuz their base supports “Trumpian Thought.”
But their years of supporting
Ill will and distorting
The truth gave them just what they wrought.
“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2015“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
So minimum wage laws are “lame?”
Sounds inane, but it’s Scott Walker’s claim.
What is “lame” is that Scott
Uses words without thought–
Schoolyard slams without substance. For shame!
Open Limerick To Chris Christie
Tuesday, June 30th, 2015Open Limerick To Chris Christie
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Christie, you claim that you’re running.
If you are, then your chutzpah is stunning,
Cuz you surely know well
That you’ve no chance in hell.
Cunning prank perhaps? ’Fess up: You’re funning!
GOP Campaign Slogans
Wednesday, June 24th, 2015
I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
Monday, June 22nd, 2015I’m NOT Amused, Ted Cruz (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We can always depend on Ted Cruz
To be tacky in voicing his views;
He tells gun control jokes
After massacres, folks,
Crudely preying on death to “amuse.”
Sen. Ted Cruz apparently finds mass murder amusing. Here’s just one of his campaign jokes uttered just two days after the Charleston church massacre:
“You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I’m pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas — hitting what you aim at.”
Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015Trumped Up Candidate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Says Trump, “I shall build a great wall.
I’m the greatest wall-builder of all!
I’ll make Mexico pay
To construct it — Olé!”
There’s no tale that’s too tall for Trump’s gall.
Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
Tuesday, June 16th, 2015Don’t Fall For Trump’s Trompe-L’œil
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Trump, you’ve announced that you’ll run.
But I know it’s a stunt, and you’ll shun
That financial report.
When it’s due, you’ll abort…
After relishing limelight-filled fun.
NOTE: A presidential candidate can, in theory, “run” for four months without filing his personal financial disclosure with the FEC … and then abandon the campaign. And I’m betting Trump will do exactly that.
Why? Cuz Trump can BS all he wants to on his two-page unsworn-to summary of assets. But the actual legal filing has to be accurate. And I’m guessing that an accurate filing wouldn’t be nearly as impressive as Trump’s “asset summary.”
The Washington Post explains the personal financial reporting requirements for a presidential candidate:
…under a 1978 federal ethics law, presidential candidates must file a personal financial disclosure with the FEC within 30 days after announcing their candidacies. (They can request two 45-day extensions.) The filing must detail their financial interests and income, as well as those of their spouses and dependent children.
No More Grasping At Straws (Limerick)
Friday, June 12th, 2015The Iowa GOP Board
Found its straw poll was being ignored
And disdained — even mocked.
So I sure wasn’t shocked
By its vote to at last cut the cord.
An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Saturday, June 6th, 2015An Open Limerick To Donald Trump
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Dear Donald, I’m begging you: Run!
Join the “clown car” and add to the fun.
A debate with your mouth
Is sure to go south.
Is there anyone nuttier? None!
Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con
Thursday, June 4th, 2015Jeb Bush’s “Non-Campaign” Con
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Why are so many newscasts ignoring
Bush’s lie when he claims he’s exploring
A possible race?
It’s clearly the case
That on FEC regs Jeb is warring.
Jeb’s been stretching the Super PAC rules
And playing the public for fools.
He coordinates madly,
Treats fed’ral law badly,
And laughs as the press acts like tools.
(You can read about Jeb’s “stretching the limits of election law” here and the lack of broadcast evening news coverage here.
