Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category

When Was He Hinged? (Limerick)

Saturday, March 3rd, 2018

Trump’s “unhinged,” people say — yes it’s true;
He’s unglued and it’s making them blue.
His bad moods makes him act
Without reason or fact.
My response must be: What else is new?

Not Wright For The EPA! (Limerick)

Saturday, March 3rd, 2018

“Trump EPA Pick Works for Dow Chemical”

Donald’s EPA pick works for Dow,
And all I can say’s “Holy Cow!”
If confirmed, Peter Wright’s
Brand new job’s toxic sites.
Is Dow Chemical happy? And how!

Guess Who? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 1st, 2018

Does this sound like somebody you know?

I wrote this limerick several years ago, never but published it. For some reason, it now feels extremely timely:

A smartass was always provoking,
Inciting and goading and stoking.
He’d smile as he stirred
Up the battle he’d spurred.
Then smirking, he’d say, “Only joking.”

Trump’s Bravery Claims Are All Wet (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 27th, 2018

The Donald’s a cowardly fella,
Who has bravery fantasies stella.
He’d save kids, he’ll maintain,
Though (I guess) not from rain:
Watch him hogging his big-ass umbrella.

Our Brave Oval Knave (Limerick)

Monday, February 26th, 2018

This CNN headline cries out for a limerick: “Trump on Florida shooting: ‘I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon'”

Dear Donald: How lovely to know
That you’d bravely and willingly go
T’wards a gunman to save
High school students! You knave,
How’re those bone spurs of yours? What a schmo!

Pro-Life??? (Limerick)

Sunday, February 25th, 2018

Viewing DACA, Head Start, WIC with scorn,
Pushing guns, while their victims still mourn.
Cutting taxes is key!
The “pro-life” GOP
Is ONLY pro-life till you’re born.

Open Limerick To NRA TOOLS

Thursday, February 22nd, 2018

Dear NRA lovers and tools:
“Armed teachers protecting our schools?”
This insults the police
Who FULL-TIME keep the peace.
Sniper skills ain’t a hobby, you fools!

Conspiracy Theorists Are Up In Arms (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 21st, 2018

“The high school survivors are actors,”
Claim the gun-demonstration detractors.
“And they’re liberal plants
Coached by dads, mothers, aunts.” —
Anti-gun-control’s prime malefactors.

Trump’s Female Sycophants (Limerick)

Sunday, February 11th, 2018

“Why Won’t The Women Walk Out Of The Trump White House?” ( A good question from Nicole Belle of Crooks and Liars.)

Why are women still working for Trump?
His team’s a misogynist dump.
Yet they stay and defend him
And clearly can’t mend him.
Seems ambition trumps all in that sump.

Trump’s “Due Process” Views (Limerick)

Saturday, February 10th, 2018

Trump’s bemoaning an ex-staffer’s plight:
The lack of due process ain’t right!
Rob denies he abused
Those three gals. The accused
Rates due process, if male and if white.

Rand Paul’s Deficit Hypocrisy (Limerick)

Thursday, February 8th, 2018

Paul is feigning a “principled stand”
Against deficits, bolst’ring his brand.
But his vote to cut tax
Helped the deficits wax;
His is really a “Don’t Spend” demand.

Trump’s Ego On Parade (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 7th, 2018

“Grand” Parade — Donald’s latest crusade,
Where our milit’ry might is displayed.
It’s to “honor the troops,”
He claims. Oh, but OOPS!”
It’s a TRUMP-Ego-BOOSTING charade.

Trump v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 6th, 2018

NYT Headline: “In Russia Inquiry, Lawyers Tell Trump to Refuse Mueller Interview”

Trump’s lawyers, to no one’s surprise,
Gave him counsel which many think wise:
When Mueller says “Talk,”
Just refuse. Simply balk…
Because Trump can’t resist telling lies.

A Trumpian Hero (Limerick)

Monday, February 5th, 2018

On Twitter the Donald has writ,
Praising Nunes for “courage” and “grit.”
He’s a “Hero,” Trump adds.
(Donald’s so fond of cads!)
Arrest BOTH men and DO NOT ACQUIT!

Something Else Trump Has In Common With Putin? (Limerick)

Monday, February 5th, 2018

To Donald, Dem-clapping’s his due.
Much ado must be made, or he’ll stew.
Now he’s flapping his jaws,
Claiming treason because
Dems denied him applause. Let him sue!

The Devil In The Oval? (Limerick)

Friday, February 2nd, 2018

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
Now it’s down “666,”
But Trump’s got a fix:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

*****
Alternative Version:

When the market is up, Donald crows
And boasts about HIS market close.
With a huge diminution,
Here’s Donald’s solution:
Only mention the DOW when it grows.

How’d He Do? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Donald’s SOTU’s about to be aired.
You can skip it, cuz here’s how he fared:
There was almost no drool,
And he wasn’t too cruel.
“Presidential,” they’ll say. “He prepared.”

Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”

No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!

Does Trump’s SOTU Matter? (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

Does it matter what Donald Trump says
When he gives his first SOTU as prez?
Why bother to glean
What his latest words mean?
There’s more substance and truth in a Pez.

Trump v. May (Limerick)

Saturday, January 27th, 2018

The Donald won’t go for a stay
In the nation that’s governed by May,
Cuz she can’t guaranty
He’ll be Trump-protest-free.
How I envy Ms. May’s great UK!