Archive for the ‘Politics Satire’ Category

Plain Advice For Obama (Limerick)

Saturday, May 5th, 2012

Uh-oh! The pressure must be getting to Obama:

Shortly after landing in Columbus, Ohio, for his first rally, Obama walked off Air Force One under gray skies, ready to descend the stairs and greet some grassroots supporters. But after a few short steps, the president quickly doubled back, apparently realizing he had forgotten someone: the first lady.

Plain Advice For Obama (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, to best avoid strife
In your marriage and family life,
When you exit the plane
You’ve little to gain
By leaving behind your dear wife.

Mitt Romney’s Grenell Gaffe (Limerick)

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

It can’t be easy to simultaneously piss off liberals, conservatives, gays, and homophobes. But Mitt Romney managed to do it.

How? By hiring and (under pressure from anti-gay conservatives) speedily muzzling and forcing out his openly gay, misogynistic, wingnutty foreign policy spokesman Ric Grenell.

Mitt Romney’s Grenell Gaffe (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney would love to dispel
His panicked farewell to Grenell:
Bigots bitched, so he jumped —
His gay spokesman, he dumped,
Selling out at alarm bells, pell-mell.

Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity

Tuesday, May 1st, 2012

I’ve been meaning to comment on Mitt Romney’s cluelessly callous remarks to students at Otterbein University in Ohio:

…Mitt Romney told students that, his friend, Jimmy John, started a business by borrowing $20,000 from his parents at a low interest rate. Romney suggested anyone in the audience could do the same:

“…Take a shot, go for it, take a risk, get the education, borrow money if you have to from your parents, start a business.”

In other words, Romney wants students to be “job creators,” but he has no plans to help them. Now if you’re a rich “job creator,” that’s another story.

Limerick Ode To Mitt-Simplicity
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, I was grateful and glad
That you shared the quick fix to be had
For youths who can’t pay
For college today:
Start a biz with a loan from your dad.

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)

Monday, April 30th, 2012

The GOP Pitch (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans made a huge mess.
Dems’ fixes they’ve tried to suppress.
Yet Republicans crow:
“The recovery’s slow.
Dump Obama. We’ve earned that address.”

Limerick Ode To Jimmy Carter

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

What’s even more annoying than a Jimmy Carter poem? It’s Carter pontificating about the upcoming presidential election:

Former President Jimmy Carter believes Barack Obama will win a second term, but says he’d be “comfortable” with Mitt Romney in the White House because of the Republican’s past history as a “moderate.”

Limerick Ode To Jimmy Carter
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Carter counts on Mitt’s moderate past
With naiveness that leaves me aghast.
I’d be comfy, he says,
With Mitt as our Prez.
Carter’s foolishness truly is vast.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio

Wednesday, April 25th, 2012

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gave a speech today at the Brookings Institution. His appearance featured this amusing gaffe:

“I left my last page of the speech, does anyone have my last page? Did I Ieave it with you?”

Now such a slip-up wouldn’t ordinarily be limerick-worthy. However, Rubio seems to have a “glass house” problem:

Rubio calls President Obama “the most articulate and talented teleprompter reader in America,” a line that drew big laughter and applause in East Manatee.

Limerick Ode To Marco Rubio
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How ironic that Rubio’s known
To have thrown a speech-mockery stone
At Barack. It’s self-bruising
And rather amusing
When Rubio screws up his own.

Limerick Ode To Yet Another Romney Phony

Wednesday, April 18th, 2012

Remember the overblown Hilary Rosen stay-at-home moms controversy? We now know that Ann Romney was just pretending to feel victimized by Rosen’s remarks:

Ann Romney, the wife of GOP front-runner Mitt Romney, told supporters at a private fundraising event on Sunday that last week’s Hilary Rosen controversy was an “early birthday present.”

“It was my early birthday present for someone to be critical of me as a mother,” she said. “That was a really defining moment, and I loved it.”

Yes, to quote Maureen Dowd, Ann Romney “was feigning aggrievement to milk the moment.”

It’s important when you act the martyr not to overplay your hand. If you admit out loud to a bunch of people — including Haake, who was on the sidewalk enterprisingly eavesdropping — that you’re just pretending to be offended, you risk looking phony, like your husband.

Limerick Ode To Yet Another Romney Phony
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Ann, when pretending you’re hurt
By an “insult” it’s best not to blurt
That the “diss” was a gift—
That you’re not really miffed,
Lest you swiftly your image subvert.

Romney’s Nutcase Surrogate (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Apparently, an Obama death threat from Mitt Romney surrogate Ted Nugent isn’t as condemnation-worthy as Ann Romney being dissed by Hilary Rosen. Good to know.

I suppose we should be grateful that after some nudging, Nugent’s presidential death threat was pronounced divisive by a Romney spokesperson.

Romney’s Nutcase Surrogate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s Nugent has threatened Obama.
So where is the sturm and the drama?
When Ann Romney is dissed,
It’s harangue-worthy grist,
Far more grave than prez death threats? Oh mama!

Mommy Madness (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

I’ve been trying to ignore the whole Hilary Rosen controversy. The one where Republicans use a stupid remark made by a CNN contributor to get everyone to stop talking about the Republican war on women.

Somehow, one person’s foolish remark is supposed to mean that President Obama and his fellow Dems diss stay-at-home moms:

The presidential campaign was consumed this week by controversy over Ann Romney and stay-at-home moms. Republicans seized on a stray comment by CNN contributor Hilary Rosen, who said Ann Romney had “never worked a day in her life.” Romney responded to the Rosen comments in a speech to the National Rifle Association on Friday, saying, “I happen to believe that all moms are working moms.”

But earlier this year, Romney said this on the topic of welfare:

“I wanted to increase the work requirement,” Romney said. “I said, for instance, that even if you have a child two years of age, you need to go to work. And people said, ‘Well that’s heartless,’ and I said ‘No, no, I’m willing to spend more giving daycare to allow those parents to go back to work. It’ll cost the state more providing that daycare, but I want the individuals to have the dignity of work.’” (emphasis added)

So apparently, raising children is dignified work only when done by wealthy gals like Ann Romney.

Mommy Madness (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney and Ann like to bitch
That the Dems have thrown moms down the ditch.
Yet Romney’s the jerk
Who said child care ain’t work,
Unless done by a mommy who’s rich.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West

Wednesday, April 11th, 2012

This undoubtedly sounds naive, but I keep expecting the GOP to disavow Florida Rep. Allen West’s insane lies. (The guy makes your average Birther look nearly normal.) But so far, it hasn’t happened.

West’s claim that up to 80 U.S. Congressional Democrats are Communists is merely the latest example of West’s nutcase rantings. And my search for evidence that Republicans are repudiating his pernicious nonsense yielded nothing but an angry complaint and denial from Libero Della Piana, a vice-chairman of the Communist Party USA.

Limerick Ode To Rep. Allen West
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican Rep. Allen West
Invents scandalous falsehoods with zest.
His mad claims don’t compute,
Yet his party stays mute —
His lies thus implicitly blessed.

Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

Rick Santorum, having apparently read Pennsylvania’s tea leaves, exited the 2012 presidential race. Did Mitt Romney promise him something? Or is Santorum simply avoiding another home state debacle, so as to preserve his shot at Election 2016? I vote for the latter.

Santorum Saves Himself For 2016 (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rick Santorum’s bowed out of the race.
It appears that the man could not face
The risk that he’d lose
His home state. Best refuse
To continue, avoiding disgrace.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)

Thursday, April 5th, 2012

Wow! When I wasn’t looking, President Obama apparently mugged the U.S. Supreme Court:

To the fainting couch! Obama attacked the Supreme Court and threatened it with a backlash, should it strike down his tyrannical scheme to impose a government takeover of health care on the nation!

That’s what many conservative writers and even some centrist ones are arguing. They are saying that Obama’s words about the Court yesterday were “unsettling” and a “witch-hunt,” and they’re likening them to F.D.R.’s efforts to pack the Court in retaliation for decisions striking down New Deal initiatives.

Please. If what Obama said yesterday is an “attack,” it’s pretty timid stuff indeed.

SCOTUS-Scolding Scandal? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The very same wingnuts who blast
So-called “activist courts” are aghast
And are faulting Obama
With petulant drama:
“He’s attacking the Court,” they lambaste.

Seems those wingnut Supremes need a hug,
Cuz Obama’s a meanie and “thug.”
His complaint, although mild,
Is driving them wild.
Those guys are sure easy to bug.

Supreme Indecency (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012

Chances are, you’ve heard about the latest Supreme Court travesty:

In a 5-4 decision, the court ruled against a New Jersey man erroneously arrested during a 2005 traffic stop for a fine he had already paid. Today’s ruling holds that even people arrested for minor offenses can be subjected to strip searches.

Supreme Indecency (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Thanks to Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia,
And their pals, cops can strip ya and see ya.
They don’t need any reason:
It’s strip searching season.
Our privacy’s gone! Mama mia!

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.

Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

This news made me laugh: “Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s campaign tacked on a new fundraising effort Monday, charging supporters $50 a pop for anyone who wants a photo with the former House speaker.”

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The latest Newt news is a beaut:
You must pay for a photo with Newt —
Fifty dollars per pic.
Here’s a fund raising trick:
I’d pay more not to pose with that brute.

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Newt Gingrich is going to be very lonely on the campaign trail: He just lost his last two embedded print reporters.

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Gingrich, his embeds have fled.
Print journos won’t follow his tread.
Those so-called “elites”
Have found far better beats.
Were he prez he’d say, “Off with their head.”

Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

When you represent a candidate who’s famed for his pandering opinion changes, it might be best to eliminate “Etch-a-Sketch” from your vocabulary:

Instead of rejoicing in what looks to be the beginning of the end of the Republican presidential race, however, Romney and his team are on the defensive over an Etch-a-Sketch. Yes, an Etch-a-Sketch.

Erik Fehrnstrom, one of Romney’s top aides, made the unfortunate comparison between his candidate and the child’s toy during a television interview on CNN on Wednesday morning.

“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign,” said Fehrnstrom. “Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch-a-Sketch – you can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again.”

Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s policy viewpoints are fleeting.
They’re not helping him? Watch his retreating.
First he’s for, then agin,
As his mouthpieces spin.
Mitt needs Etch-a-Sketch-YouTube deleting.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

I was glad to read that the Rush Limbaugh ad boycott is still going strong.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush’s national ads are suspended.
Will his wingnutty program be ended?
Though we don’t know for sure,
I’ll bet there’s no cure—
That his rep simply can not be mended.

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh)

Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)

Monday, March 12th, 2012

If I must see bare-chested Republican politicians, I definitely prefer Mitt Romney over Newt.

Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is Romney a hottie? Darn tootin’!
His bare-chested pics have folks rootin’.
Are his people at peace
With this photo release?
I’m betting his team copied Putin.

A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

I can’t imagine that you Southern Republicans are falling for Mitt Romney’s grits-liking pander. But here’s a limerick, just in case any of you think “unofficial Southerner” Romney is being sincere with “y’all.”

A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s playing an “out of town game,”
By pretending that he’s just the same
As you Southern state folks.
He likes grits? What a hoax,
With duping “y’all” voters his aim.