Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Wednesday, June 15th, 2016
It seems possible that Bernie won’t endorse Hillary. Or that he’ll delay his endorsement for so long, that it loses much of its effectiveness. And that makes me wonder how valuable a timely Sanders endorsement really is. And how damaging his non-endorsement might be.
From what I can gather, Bernie supporters fall into three broad categories:
1: Those who’ve said all along that they will vote for whoever gets the Democratic nomination.
2: Those who’ve come to realize that (however they may feel about Hillary) Trump is a dangerous threat to our nation and must be stopped.
3: Bernie Or Busters who are so anti-Hillary, that they turned against Elizabeth Warren, the second she endorsed her.
So, would a reasonably prompt Bernie endorsement have any value beyond the symbolic? That very question inspired this limerick:
An endorsement from Bernie’d be great,
Though I’d ask if it truly has weight;
Donald must be shellacked!
You don’t see this? You’re whacked!
And your Bern love could soon turn to hate.
Tags: Bernie Or Bust, Bernie Sanders, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Hillary Haters
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on A Serious Question (Limerick)
Wednesday, June 15th, 2016
“Our nation is finished. Doom’s near.”
That’s the message from Trump that we hear.
In a way, Donald’s right,
Cuz that’s surely our plight
If we let him our “ship of state” steer.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Limerick Ode To Donald “The Diviner”
Monday, June 13th, 2016
Dear Trump, are you trying to lose
By pretending you’re missing some screws?
Was your run just a bluff
Which has gone far enough?
If that’s true, then withdraw. Drop the ruse!
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump
Wednesday, June 1st, 2016
The Donald’s a real estate grifter
And a policy viewpoint shape shifter.
If you fall for his spiel
And think HE’s the real deal,
You’ve been guzzling from beer stein or snifter.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Grifter Limerick
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Real Estate Humor, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 30th, 2016
According to this strange interview, Republican Kelly Maher, a political analyst, is so depressed by Donald Trump that she bought a pet wallaby for emotional support.
About Trump, Kelly’s very upset.
She’s so jumpy, she got a new pet
To help with her sadness
And wall off the madness.
Will a Wallaby help her not fret?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Wallaby Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | Comments Off on Donald Trump Boosts Pet Wallaby Sales? (Limerick)
Thursday, May 26th, 2016
I laughed out loud when I heard about Sen. Orrin Hatch’s Deseret News op-ed, reporting the results of a meeting with Chief Judge Merrick Garland that had yet to take place:
“Like many of my Senate colleagues, I recently met with Chief Judge Merrick Garland, President Obama’s nominee to the Supreme Court. … Our meeting, however, does not change my conviction that the Senate should consider a Supreme Court nominee after this presidential election cycle,” Hatch wrote in an op-ed published on the website of the Deseret News early Thursday morning and later removed. It remains available in a Google database.
Dear Orrin, it isn’t a race
To report on a meeting you’ll face.
And it’s best not to claim
It did NOT change your game
When that meeting has yet to take place.
Tags: Merrick Garland, Orrin Hatch, Supreme Court Humor
Posted in Barack Obama, GOP Humor, Orrin Hatch, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Supreme Court | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Orrin Hatch
Wednesday, May 25th, 2016
Trump’s “Four Pinocchios” keep mounting up, as The Donald amplifies his conspiracy-theory-fed attacks on Hillary Clinton.
The latest is for suggesting foul play in the (to quote Trump) “fishy” 1993 suicide of Vince Foster.
The Donald will use any source
(Even chain mail from fringe groups, of course)
In attacking a rival.
His key to survival?
Coarse indiff’rence to truth, sans remorse.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Conspiracy Theories, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Vince Foster
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Donald “4 Pinocchio” Trump Strikes Again (Limerick)
Monday, May 23rd, 2016
The very least one can expect from presidential candidates, is that they NOT root against our nation’s economy. Yet Trump apparently did exactly that:
Two years before the housing market collapsed in 2008 and millions of Americans lost their homes, Donald Trump said he was hoping for a crash.
“I sort of hope that happens because then people like me would go in and buy,” Trump said in a 2006 audiobook from Trump University, answering a question about “gloomy predictions that the real estate market is heading for a spectacular crash.”
Dear supporters of Trump, don’t be rash
And back someone who hoped for a crash
In the house market so
He could make lots of dough,
Brashly rooting against us for cash.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Economy Satire, Election Humor, Housing Market, Patriotism Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Economy Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Trump Supporters
Thursday, May 19th, 2016
I’ve attempted but failed to account
For the YUUUGELY surprising amount
Of folks who applaud
Donald Trump and who laud
That deranged instability fount.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor | 1 Comment »
Monday, May 16th, 2016
I keep seeing headlines like this: “Trump Reversal on Fundraising Not Hurting Him.”
So I decided to make up some headlines of my own:
“Trump Reversal on CHANGING HIS GENDER Not Hurting Him.”
“Trump Reversal on KIDNAPPING POLO PONIES Not Hurting Him.”
“Trump Reversal on EVICTING CALIFORNIA Not Hurting Him.”
Feel free to create your own fake (yet almost plausible) Trump headlines using this format:
“Trump Reversal on {BLANK BLANK} Not Hurting Him.”
You may either use your own words, or choose one word from “Group 1” and one word from “Group 2.”
Group 1:
Abusing
Adopting
Appointing
Arresting
Banishing
Banning
Beating
Berating
Bilking
Borrowing
Bribing
Building
Burying
Changing
Cheating
Complimenting
Curing
Declaring
Decorating
Demolishing
Destroying
Disclosing
Donating
Drooling
Envy
Evicting
Firing
Forgiving
Freeing
Hacking
Helping
Hiding
Humiliating
Impeaching
Incorporation
Insulting
Inventing
Kidnapping
Negotiating
Killing
Lampooning
Legalizing
Locking Up
Lowering
Lying
Manipulating
Marauding
Mocking
Mortgaging
Mourning
Selling
Occupying
Ordering
Outlawing
Pardoning
Pillaging
Praising
Promoting
Punishing
Raging
Raising
Raping
Refinancing
Renaming
Renting Out
Revolting
Rewarding
Slaughtering
Smoking
Shooting
Strangling
Subdividing
Suing
Switching
Tearing Down
Torturing
Unburying
Voting
Winning
Worshiping
Group 2:
Amazon
Animal Sacrifice
Art Museums
Asians
Assets
Bankers
Bankruptcy
Bathrooms
Ben Carson
Bernie
Bezos
Birth Certificate
Blood
Brand
Budget
Builder
Bums
Cabinet Member
California
Canaries
Cheapskates
Cheater
China
Clinton
Clouds
Clown
College
Conspiracy
Corpses
Court
Crickets
DNC
Debate
Debt
Defendant
Democrats
Disclosure
Donations
Dope
Election Fraud
Elephants
Executive Orders
Fairness
Figure Skating
Flautists
Gender
Ghosts
God
Golf Course
GOP
Haters
Health Care
Heathens
Hillary
History
House
Illegals
Immigrants
Immigration
Insurance
Iran
Iraq
Israel
Jews
Justice
Kindergarten
Latinos
Lawyers
Liars
Litigation
Loans
Loser
Mars
Math
Media
Medicare
Megyn Kelly
Men
Mental Illness
Mexico
Miss Universe
Models
Monkeys
Monopoly
Moron
Mosquitos
Muslims
Neanderthals
Negotiator
New York
Obama
Oboe Players
Order
Parties
Paul Ryan
Peace
Penis
Penis Envy
Plaintiff
Pluto
Polls
Polo
Ponies
Porn
Press
Prison
Privacy
Protesters
Putin
Rain
Real Estate
Republicans
Respect
Revolution
RNC
Running Mate
Russia
Science
Secrets
Senate
Shadows
Slob
Snow
Social Security
Supreme Court
Tacos
Taxes
Tax Returns
Terrorists
Total Loser
Turtles
Unfairness
Vagrants
Vampires
Voters
Waitresses
Wall
Wall Street
War
Wealth
White House
Women
Zombies
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Media Humor, Trump Headline Game
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016
“I self-fund cuz I’m rich. Really rich!
I’m too rich to be bought!” was Trump’s pitch.
“Keep your money,” he said.
But that policy’s dead
In a typical Trump bait and switch.
Tags: Campaign Funds, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Donations, Election 2016, Election Humor, Fund Raising, Self-Fund
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2016
Dear Ted, you’re a wack and a hack,
And I’m tempted to make a snide crack,
But I almost feel pity;
It sure won’t be pretty
When Senators “welcome” you back.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Election, Election Humor, Republican Primary, Senate Satire, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Ted Cruz On Suspending His Campaign
Monday, May 2nd, 2016
Headline of the Day:
Senate takes 2016 sabbatical
The chamber is in session for the fewest days in 60 years, straining Mitch McConnell’s claim that the chamber is ‘back to work.’
It’s a tough NON-accomplishment race,
But the GOP Senate’s on pace
To work less then it’s ever
Pulled off — this endeavor
Makes “back to work” false on its face.
Tags: GOP, Mitch McConnell, Republicans Humor, Senate Humor, Senate Satire
Posted in GOP Humor, Mitch McConnell, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Senate Satire | Comments Off on Mitch McConnell’s Hard Job Of Pretending To Work (Limerick)
Sunday, May 1st, 2016
As a running mate, I’d be ideal.
But I’ll never be yours, so get real!
Be advised, I insist:
Keep me off of your list.
Even Hillary has more appeal.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Donald Trump From Most Leading Republicans
Friday, April 29th, 2016
I can’t help wondering whether Bernie’s bound to lose his halo:
There are Dems who think Hill fans are dumb.
Seems she’s “evil” and “venal,” to some.
Here’s my question: When Bern
Does back Hill, will they spurn
“Sainted Bern” and demote him to scum?
Tags: Bernie Or Bust, Bernie Sanders, Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Hillary Clinton, Hillary Haters
Posted in Bernie Sanders, Campaign Humor, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Hillary Clinton, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | 2 Comments »
Thursday, April 28th, 2016
Dear Ted, if you’re trying to woo
Hoosiers’ fans, here is what NOT to do:
Call that “hoop” thing a “ring.”
(Also Carly can’t sing.)
Lots of luck with your GOP coup.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Election Humor, Hoosiers, Indiana, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Open Limerick To Ted Cruz
Thursday, April 28th, 2016
Can Carly help Teddy prevail?
His desp’rate Hail Mary will fail.
Though she’s brighter than Palin,
Ted’s ‘woman card’s’ ailin’.
(Are we SURE Carly isn’t a male?)
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Election Humor, Tedd Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Cruz & Carly — A Match Made In Political Hell (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 27th, 2016
The Donald’s next goal on the stump:
Overcome the “no gravitas” hump
And appear presidential,
Which means it’s essential
To prove that The Donald ain’t Trump.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Drumpf, Election Humor
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Perhaps Trump Should Re-Take The Name “Drumpf” (Limerick)
Monday, April 25th, 2016
Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.
Tags: Campaign Satire, Carly Fiorina, Election 2016, Election Humor, GOP Humor, Ted Cruz
Posted in Campaign Humor, Carly Fiorina, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, Ted Cruz, White House | Comments Off on Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)
Sunday, April 24th, 2016
A headline like this pretty much demands a limerick:
“Trump asks Kasich to change spelling of his name.”
Here’s The Donald’s big grievance today:
To Kasich’s last name, he says, “Nay!”
It’s spelled wrong, goes his schtick —
Looks like “itch,” and not “ick,”
Which means Kasich should change it, okay?
Tags: Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, GOP Primary, John Kasich, Presidential Election
Posted in Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election Satire, GOP Humor, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Republicans Humor, White House | Comments Off on Trump Spells Out His Problem With Kasich (Limerick)
