Posts Tagged ‘Marriage Humor’
Sunday, July 10th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was lovely and fair…
Here’s mine:
Fair Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was lovely and fair
Had a spouse who’d gone heaven knows where.
She suspected foul play.
She’s the victim, I’d say:
An affair in his lair caused her scare.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Affair Limerick, Battle of the Sexes, Cheating Spouse, Crime, Foul Play, Husband Wife Limerick, Infidelity Humor, Marital Relationships, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Contests, Crime & Punishment Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 56 Comments »
Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve become hooked on writing acrostic limericks, largely due to prompts from Acrostics Only.
Married To Acrostic Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Asunder we never shall be,”
Promised Dean to his bride-to-be Bree.
At the altar his vow
Reassured her, but now
They’re divorced via legal decree.
Tags: Acrostics Poems, Divorce Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Wedding Humor, Wedding Vows Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 18 Comments »
Thursday, April 7th, 2011
I’ve never written an Acrostic poem before, let alone an Acrostic Limerick. But writing this was fun, in a mind-puzzle kind of way.
Now if I understand the basic acrostic rules, the first letter of each line must spell out whatever your poem is about. Acrostic Only has a lot more info and a generous assortment of acrostic prompts.
Wedded To Acrostics (Acrostic Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“Enlarging our guest list again?
Let me see it,” said bride-to-be Gwen.
“Oh no! What a slew!
Pa, this simply won’t do!
Eloping tomorrow, at ten.”
*****
Author’s Note: I updated this post to change line five’s first word from “Eloping” to “Escaping.” Any thoughts on which one is better? I can’t decide. Thanks!
Update: Thanks to feedback here and on Facebook, I changed it back to “Eloping” and also got rid of the bold first letters. Thanks everyone!
Update 2: I’ve changed the title, so as to not give the game away.
Tags: Acrostic Only, Acrostic Poems, Brides & Grooms, Elopement Verse, Guest Lists, Marriage Humor, Parents, Wedding Limerick
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Anxiety & Stress, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry Forms, Poetry Rules | 33 Comments »
Sunday, February 27th, 2011
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A gal who was rather a scold…
or
A man who was rather a scold…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Scold
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A gal who was rather a scold
Berated her spouse o’er his cold:
“You’re sick all the time
Without rhythm or rhyme,
And your illness is getting quite old.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Health Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Poetry, Writing Prompts
Posted in Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor | 45 Comments »
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”
UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.
Tags: Appearance Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Clothing Poem, Eating Limerick, Food Poem, Grooming Verse, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, National Pasta Day, October Holidays, Odd Holidays, Sloppiness, World Pasta Day
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Clumsiness Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Fashion Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Odd Holidays, Relationship Humor | 2 Comments »
Wednesday, September 15th, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who readily cried…
Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)
Weepy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who readily cried
Never learned to take movies in stride.
She would feel oh so low
And her tear drops would flow
When a character sickened or died.
She’d weep for the good guys and bad—
Did not matter — they both made her sad.
How her husband freaked out
When she sobbed for a lout
Like a killer or mean, deadbeat dad.
He told her, “You’re acting insane.
Is there something amiss with your brain?
Please don’t cry for a villain
Who merits his killin’.
Put clamps on your waterworks main.”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)
Tags: Crying, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Tears, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Thursday, June 10th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow who had an affair…
Here’s mine:
Limerick Affairs
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow who had an affair
Got caught by his lovely wife, Claire.
She considered divorce —
Took a far diff’rent course.
Now her spouse does not live anywhere.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Divorce Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Legal Limerick, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Relationship Humor, Self-Help Humor | 23 Comments »
Sunday, February 14th, 2010
Last night hubby Mark reminded me about a humor column I wrote about a romance-impaired woman (me) marrying a romantic man like Mark. He thinks it’s the perfect column to post on Valentines Day, so here’s how Romancing The Stoic begins:
Romancing The Stoic
By Madeleine Begun Kane
“We’ve lost power!” I shrieked, as the lights went out and a Brahms concerto stopped mid-cadenza. “It’s okay,” my husband Mark said, in a futile attempt to calm me down. For already I was ransacking the house in search of flashlights, candles, matches and batteries. And as usual, I’d hidden them away in a safe and elusive spot.
“Don’t worry,” Mark said, when he finally had my attention. “We’ll bundle up in front of the fireplace. We’ll eat by candlelight, sip wine, and talk. It’ll be nice. You won’t even miss the light.”
That episode, which climaxed in a delightful, albeit light-impaired evening, illustrates our differences in the romance department. A quick bit of history: More than thirty years ago Mark proposed on his knees in the middle of the street, while I rushed to brush off his pants. His encore the next night was to supplement his weekly floral offering with a pair of crystal candlesticks. I, of course, fretted about their price.
Mark went through with the wedding, despite my apparent lack of the romance gene. Perhaps he felt he had sentiment enough for two. Or maybe he thought I’d come around some day — that my romantic spirit was merely submerged, just waiting to be tapped. … (Romancing The Stoic continues here.)
Tags: Husbands & Wives, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor, Romantic Husbands, Stoics, Valentine's Day, Wedding Proposal Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Marriage Humor, Romance Humor | 12 Comments »
Monday, January 22nd, 2007
A Take-Charge Marriage
By Madeleine Begun Kane
We’re both bossy, my husband and I.
Domineering, some say with a sigh.
But though some might disparage
A two-bosses marriage,
Each day is the Fourth of July.
(My marriage humor is collected here.)
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Compatibility Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 5 Comments »
Monday, January 15th, 2007
Marriage Catch
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Said the fellow, “I need some advice.
Tell me how I can catch me some mice,
Cause my wife saw some lurk
By the fridge—went berserk!
Till I catch ’em, my sex life’s on ice.”
(My marriage humor is collected here.)
Tags: Marriage Humor, Mice Humor, Sex Humor, Vermin Humor
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor | 11 Comments »
Thursday, September 14th, 2006
A weekend trip is a splendid way to replenish your energy and deplete your bank account. In theory, such journeys should be preceded by thorough research, careful planning, and intense negotiations with your mate. Sounds a lot like work, right? Which is why so many vacations go something like this:
(1). Become increasingly exhausted and overwrought. Bicker with spouse over nonsense. Make up, bicker some more, and decide you both need a vacation. Agree to plan a trip for just the two of you real soon. Fall asleep fantasizing about a work/child/pressure-free orgy of self-indulgence.
(2). Repeat Step (1) many times during the next few months. Repeat it several times more … leaving out the sleep part. (How To Plan A Trip is continued here.)
Tags: Battle of Sexes, Holiday Humor, Hotel Humor, Humorous How-To, Husband Wife Humor, Marriage Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Holiday Humor, How-To Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, September 5th, 2006
Planning a vacation can often be a daunting challenge. Especially when one spouse likes to rough it and the other prefers luxuries like toilets, showers, and cable TV. So what’s a couple to do? Well, they can take separate trips. Or they can negotiate and sign on the dotted line.
AGREEMENT, entered into this _________, 20__ by Husband and Wife.
WHEREAS, Husband’s ideal vacation requires hiking boots, compasses, sleeping bags, and knapsacks and doesn’t cost a dime;
WHEREAS, Wife’s ideal vacation requires a five star resort;
WHEREAS, Husband is a spontaneous kind of guy who likes to pick his trips by throwing a coin onto a trail map; … (Taking A Vacation On The Contract Plan is continued here.)
Tags: Husband Wife Humor, Hotel Humor, Marriage Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor, Travel Humor, Vacation Humor | 7 Comments »
Monday, August 28th, 2006
“You’re gonna swing dance in this weather? Are you insane?”
I’ve been asked that a lot lately, which isn’t surprising when you consider this summer’s humidity and heat wave. New York City’s weather has been so unbearable, that felons have switched from car theft to stealing AC’s. … (Jump, Jive, and Sweat is continued here.)
UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)
Tags: April Holidays, Dancing Humor, Exercise Humor, Hobby Humor, International Dance Day, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Physical Fitness Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Swing Dance Humor
Posted in Health & Medical Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Music Humor & Verse, Odd Holidays, Recreation & Fun Humor, Sports Humor | Comments Off on Jump, Jive, and Sweat
Sunday, August 20th, 2006
Tubing — the masochistic act of hurtling down a fall-fraught river while clinging to an inner tube. Somehow my husband Mark talked me, a devout wimp, into trying it.
Why did I go along for the rocky river ride? Perhaps I was dazed by the beauty of the Catskill Mountains’ Esopus River. Perhaps the brave (or foolish) teens who plunged heedlessly into the Esopus shamed me into it. Or maybe I was feeling guilty for being a perennial naysayer. Whatever the reason, one summer day I broke my first rule of survival: If they advise helmets, avoid it.
Before risking the river we signed a paper saying our survivors couldn’t sue. Then Mark paced while I interrogated the clerk about safety. Jagged rock protection was high on her (and my) list. Sneakers for the feet, a helmeted head, and plywood in the tube to protect the tush.
After a short, steep bus ride up river, the driver said “Just throw your tubes into the river and get in.” He pointed towards what looked suspiciously like waterfalls.
Foolish me, I’d assumed there’d be an attendant to provide advice, guidance, and moral support. And to hold the damn tube in place long enough for me to lower myself onto it and grab its pathetic excuse for handles. At the very least, they could have posted a sign saying, “Start your death ride here.” … (Tubing Blues is continued here.)
Tags: Husband Wife Humor, River Tubing, Battle of the Sexes, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreaton Humor, Travel Humor, Tubing humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Family & Relatives Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Leisure Time Humor, Marriage Humor, Outdoors Humor, Recreation & Fun Humor, Relationship Humor, Sports Humor, Travel Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, August 8th, 2006
If your husband ever invites you to join him on a business trip, be sure to ask him these questions:
1. Will you ever get to see him while he is not — technically — asleep?
2. What will he do, if you accidentally lock yourself out of your hotel room in the middle of the night while you are not — technically — dressed?
Unfortunately, I didn’t think to ask these questions when my husband Mark invited me to join him for a six-week Boston business trip. So I had to learn the answers the hard way. …
( A Traveler’s Net Woes is continued here.)
Tags: Business Travel Humor, Computer Humor, Hotel Humor, Husband Wife Humor, Internet Outage Humor, Laptop Humor, Marriage Humor, Net Connection, Travel Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Business Humor, Computer Humor, Humor Columns & Humorous Essays, Internet Humor, Marriage Humor, Relationship Humor, Technology Humor, Travel Humor | 2 Comments »
