Posts Tagged ‘President Trump’

Orange-Skinned? Yes! But Thick-Skinned? (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 28th, 2017

Trump actually said (on ‘Fox and Friends’) “I have a very thick skin.” Wow! I feel a limerick coming:

When Trump feels disparaged, he’s quick
To behave like a bullying prick.
Yet he keeps a straight face,
While making the case
That the skin on his bod’s “very thick.”

Bracing For Trump’s Speech To Congress (Limerick)

Monday, February 27th, 2017

Although Trump has circulated a bullet point outline of tomorrow night’s speech, here’s what I’m expecting:

Please get ready for Donald to speak
Before Congress on Tuesday this week,
Where he’ll beef about press
And he’ll shriek “We’re a mess,
Only I can address!” (That’s my “leak.”)

Donald Trump, the Anti-Dale Carnegie (Limerick)

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

Have you noticed Trump’s habit of picking random fights with allies? Even France is rightfully peeved at the Donald for Trump’s Paris rant, which included this gem:

“Paris? I don’t go there anymore. Paris is no longer Paris,” Trump quoted his friend as saying.

Donald thoughtlessly tends to digress
Into statements that cause allies stress.
Watch his Cabinet Secs
As they turn into wrecks,
While attempting to clean up each mess.

Trump Can’t Take A Joke (Limerick)

Sunday, February 26th, 2017

Is Trump too cowardly to attend the annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner? So it appears, and nobody’s shedding tears.

White House journalists gather each year
To dine on political cheer,
Where the President jests
And is mocked by some guests.
But Trump’s chicken! He’s bailed — won’t appear.

Trump’s Record of Deception (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 21st, 2017

Today’s Washington Post headline cries out for a limerick:

Donald Trump’s streak of falsehoods now stands at 33 days

Donald Trump has been president for all or part of 33 days. He has averaged four falsehoods or misleading statements a day(!) in that time. There hasn’t been a single day of Trump’s presidency in which he has said nothing false or misleading.

As Donald spouts stats that ain’t real,
Here’s one grounded in fact Trump won’t feel
Any impulse to tout:
Daily lies from the lout
Av’rage four — Donald’s Artifice Deal.

Trump’s “Fine-Tuned Machine” Limerick

Thursday, February 16th, 2017

A “fine-tuned machine” — that’s how Trump
Says his White House is running. That shlump
Lies as much as he breathes,
As with venom he’s seethes,
While rebranding the White House: “Trump’s Sump.”

Trump’s Favorite Outlet (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 15th, 2017

When Donald gets bitter or pissed,
You can bet he’ll be shaking his fist
Via tweet-storming rants
About leakers and plants.
Before Twitter, how DID he exist?

Trump’s White House Shop Of Schnorrers (Limerick)

Monday, February 13th, 2017

Will Conway be punished? Don’t curse,
When I tell you that life is perverse;
Her Ivanka commercial
That’s so controversial
Is fine with her boss … who’s done worse.

Trump On Exhibit (Limerick)

Saturday, February 11th, 2017

Trump exhibits his madness with ease,
Via speeches and tweet-tantrum sprees.
Donald’s saneness is wee
And he’s vain as can be.
It’s as plain as his gold Trump marquees.

Limerick Ode To Donald “Peter Principle” Trump (4 Verses)

Friday, February 10th, 2017

My 4-verse limerick was inspired by this Politico article, headlined:

Trump vexed by challenges, scale of government
The new president’s allies say he has been surprised that government can’t be run like his business.

About running the gov, Trump knows nought.
It’s much harder than #FumblingTrump thought,
Though supporters were told
That this CEO, bold,
Was equipped for the job that he sought.

It seems Trump and his voters believe
That all that it takes to achieve
What he wants is to say:
“Make it so! Find a way!”
And it’s done, at a magic wand’s heave.

But instead, Trump encounters delay;
Many lawmakers stand in his way,
Also bureaucrat drudges
And treacherous judges.
So he vows that he’ll soon make them pay.

Donald stews and he bitches and rails
And keeps posting his tweet-storming wails.
Yes, our nation’s now run
By a son of a gun —
A madman who only knows sales.

Those Slippery Polls (Limerick)

Monday, February 6th, 2017

“Any negative polls are fake news.
(Trump on Twitter, expressing his views.)
Yet he can’t explain why
When his numbers are high
They’re plumb right, but when low they’re a ruse.

I’m Too Depressed To Give This Limerick A Title

Monday, January 30th, 2017

Am I feeling despondent? Damn straight!
Donald’s governing principle’s hate!
Also greed, lies, derision
And sowing division.
Trump disdains all that makes our land great.

Our president’s clearly a bad man,
A conspiracy-fabulist madman;
Not a mere empty suit,
But a bullying brute–
Emp’ror Donald J. Trump, the Unclad Man.

Tortured Alternative Facts (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 25th, 2017

Some Alternative Facts: Torture works!
If our nation won’t use it, we’re jerks.
Trump looks forward to using it.
(Even abusing it.)
Torture’s one of Trump’s favorite perks.

Trump Carnage Week 1 (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 25th, 2017

Trump’s as bad as I thought, maybe worse.
On our nation and world, he’s a curse.
If his goal is upheaval,
He’s brilliantly evil.
Hope you weren’t expecting light verse.

You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”

Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.

Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.

AWOL Muse (Limerick)

Friday, January 20th, 2017

If you stop by my page, I’m afraid
You’ll spot flop-sweat; my sage muse has strayed.
From her shocked disappointment
At Donald’s anointment
She brayed, “There’s no point! We’re betrayed!”

Missing Obama Already (Limerick)

Thursday, January 19th, 2017

Anybody else missing Obama already?

Prez Donald’s our national bane;
We must brace to be plunged down the drain.
Though I’d rather not whine,
I just can’t help but pine
For a man in the Oval who’s sane.

Trump’s D-List Inaugural (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 17th, 2017

Poor Donald! Inaug’ral arenas
Can’t lure stars. (Time to laugh like hyenas.)
Entertainer-Trump’s failed.
Even B-Street Band’s bailed!
Here’s my modest proposal: Subpoenas!

Limerick Ode To “Gracelessness In Victory”

Monday, January 16th, 2017

As Dana Milbank points out:

“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”

It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.

Trump’s “Germaphobe” Defense (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 11th, 2017

According to Trump, certain salacious sexual allegations about him couldn’t be true because he’s a “germaphobe.”

“Golden showers?” Who, me? There’s no way
I’d engage in such practice. Nyet! Nay!
Dodging germs would be tricky.
They’re sticky and icky–
Not as good a quick, sterile lay!