Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category

Victim-In-Chief (Limerick)

Saturday, February 29th, 2020

Headline: “Trump Identifies the Real Coronavirus Victim: His Presidency”

There’s a virus whose spread causes dread.
It began in a land once called “Red.”
Though its victim counts stun,
To Trump there’s just one:
It is Trump — reelection hopes dead.

Pence To the Rescue (Limerick)

Thursday, February 27th, 2020

Headline: “Mike Pence was criticized for his handling of Indiana’s HIV outbreak. He will lead the U.S. coronavirus response.”

A pandemic? No worries! Mike Pence
Is in charge, which makes wonderful sense.
No doubt he’ll repeat
His HIV feat.
So relax! Let the praying commence.

Trump’s Market Solution (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, February 26th, 2020

Trump slashed funds meant for health expertise
And starved agencies aimed at disease.
But when COVID-19
Dims the stock market sheen,
It’s the fault of the Left, says the sleaze.

A vaccine’s “very close,” Donald lies.
(An assertion that NO expert buys.)
We’re in “great shape,” he swears.
How will Trump stop those bears?
Sell his lies for a stock market rise.

Barr Pens A Limerick

Thursday, February 13th, 2020

Dear Donald, your tweets make me look
Like your lapdog; my staffers are shook.
So stop! I’m not kidding.
Cuz doing your bidding
Is hard when I look like a schnook.

Trump Unleashed (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 12th, 2020

In TRUMP-world the truth-tellers pay
A huge price for the truths they convey.
Trump demands and extracts
Silence, lies. Reveal facts
That make Donald look bad? You’re Trump-prey!

Trump’s Fixer (Bill Barr) Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, February 11th, 2020

Two-Verse Limerick for Dueling Headlines:

Headline 1: “Trump Denounces Proposed Sentence for Roger Stone”

Headline 2: “Justice Department undercuts own prosecutors on Trump ally Stone’s sentencing”

The dictator’s at it once more,
Ably aided by Barr; ev’ry chore
Donald orders, Barr does
Why’s he do it? Becuz
They’re both scoundrels and vile to their core.

Barr forgets he’s our nation’s AG,
That his oath’s NOT to Donald, you see,
So when Donald Trump tweeted
That Stone’s been mistreated,
Fixer-Barr fulfills Donald’s decree.

Vindictive Trump Falsely Claims Vindication (Limerick)

Sunday, February 9th, 2020

Headline: “With Vindman’s dismissal, Trump gets especially vindictive”

Donald’s Enemies List? Ever-growing!
His vindictiveness streak is mind-blowing.
Will he fin’ly get HIS?
It’s a “life ain’t fair” biz,
So I fear he won’t reap what he’s sowing.

Scoundrel-In-Chief (Limerick)

Thursday, February 6th, 2020

Dear Donald, you think you’re an ace?
You’re a scoundrel, a lout, a disgrace.
With your many abettors —
Forgivers, forgetters —
You’re razing our nation apace.

The Self-Deluded Susan Collins (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 5th, 2020

Headline: “No, Susan Collins, Trump is never going to learn”

Susan Collins appears unconcerned
About Donald. She claims he has “learned”
A “big lesson;” will act
Now “more cautious.” That’s wacked!
Facts and truth? Thought and reason? All spurned!

Trump Versus The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 5th, 2020

Headline: “Pelosi trashes Trump address: ‘He shredded the truth, so I shredded his speech'”

Said Nancy, “He shredded the truth,
“So I shredded his speech.” Not ‘uncooth,’
But an act overdue.
Donald’s SOTU was true???
Happy hunting for facts! Try a sleuth.

Devilish Deal (Limerick)

Saturday, February 1st, 2020

Trump’s impeachment’s erased any doubt
That the GOP’s ceded its clout
And sold off its soul
To that scurrilous troll
In the Oval; it’s owned by that lout.

Witnessing A Trump Mistake (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 28th, 2020

Headline: “Trump waived executive privilege when he called Bolton a liar”

What Bolton has written’s a lie,
Says Trump; a mistake, and here’s why:
Having said that John lied,
Donald’s priv’lege claim’s fried;
Trump’s effectively “waived” it goodbye.

Senators Quiet and Unplugged (Not a Gag!)

Sunday, January 19th, 2020

Headline: “No escape: Senators to be quiet, unplugged for Trump trial”

Juror-Senators told to be quiet?
Might as well be commanded to diet.
Keeping mum ain’t their thing.
Self-restraint’s bound to sting.
(So will jail should they opt to defy it.)

Nancy v. Mitch (and Trump) — Limerick

Wednesday, January 15th, 2020

New documents show why the president has been trying to hide evidence from Congress.”

New proof’s in the public domain,
Which may prove to be Donald Trump’s bane.
So though Nancy’s demand
Was not met, those who’ve panned
Her may rue this large evidence gain.

Donald’s Iran Morass (Limerick)

Thursday, January 9th, 2020

Trump proclaimed: Iran failed to comply
With the nuke deal (a treacherous lie.)
Pulling “facts” from his ass,
Donald caused this morass.
Now we all pay the price; some will die.

Donald “Emboldened Rogue” Trump (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 8th, 2020

As Donald Trump’s dirty deeds mount,
He never is called to account.
This emboldens and stirs him
To escalate — spurs him
To WORSE acts — too many to count.

GOP Blockheads Block Witness Demands (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 7th, 2020

Hill Headline: “McConnell has the votes to block Democrats’ witness demands in Trump impeachment trial”

Donald Trump’s taken actions illicit,
But Republicans scoff and dismiss it
As perfectly fine
While they toe Mitch’s line…
And that makes them corruptly complicit.

More Yowls From Our Whiner-In-Chief (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 17th, 2019

Trump Tweet: “It’s not fair that I’m being Impeached when I’ve done absolutely nothing wrong! The Radical Left, Do Nothing Democrats have become the Party of Hate. They are so bad for our Country!”

“It’s not fair that I’m being impeached,”
The self-pitying Donald tweet-screeched.
He’s a wallowing fraud,
But base followers laud
Ev’ry breach and each nadir he’s reached.

Donald’s Defenders (Limerick)

Thursday, December 12th, 2019

Headline: “House Republicans’ Trump impeachment strategy is simple: Distract, deceive and yell”

Distract and deceive and keep yelling;
That’s the GOP’s method of selling
The Donald’s “defense.”
His guilt is immense…
But on facts his defenders ain’t dwelling.

Trump Booed At World Series Game Five (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 29th, 2019

I couldn’t resist writing a 2-verse limerick about Trump’s ball game boos:

Donald Trump’s unaccustomed to boos;
He’s protected from anti-Trump views.
But a ball game affords
No shelter from hordes
Of folks who don’t follow his cues.

The World Series (Game Five) featured booing
And “lock him up!” chants — worth-pursuing —
All directed at Trump
Who sat on his rump
And glowered, free speech his undoing.