The Saudis are using all means
To hail Trump, as he swaggers and preens;
To achieve what they need,
They perceive they must feed
Regal sheen to King Donald of Queens.
Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Say It’s Not So, Joe! (Limerick)
Thursday, May 18th, 2017Joe Lieberman? FBI head?
Please tell me this rumor is dead.
Law enforcement skills? None!
Built-in conflicts? A ton!
Might as well name dear Jared, instead.
Our “Woe Is Me” President (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017The Donald pretends to be gritty,
But instead he is filled with self-pity.
“I’m the worst-treated pol
In his’try,” he’ll bawl.
Trump’s dignity (bitty) ain’t pretty.
On The Other (Very Tiny) Hand (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 17th, 2017At the risk of appearing too dense,
I must ask if it makes any sense
To impeach Donald Trump,
If success means we’d jump
To a Theocrat President Pence.
Trump’s Keen Mastery Of Economics (Limerick)
Thursday, May 11th, 2017Keeping a straight face when you interview Trump must be tough … especially for The Economist team; Trump told them he “came up with” the phrase “prime the pump,” and wanted to know if they’d heard it before and understood what it meant.
There once was a wordsmith named Trump,
Who claimed to have coined “prime the pump,”
A phrase that pre-dates
Donald’s birth. Sorry mates,
But his brain remains lodged in his rump.
Comey’s Former Subordinates NOT Happy (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2017Many FBI agents are pissed
Cuz their boss Mr. Comey’s been dissed;
Donald dumped the man rudely—
Not shrewdly, but crudely…
Via pretext that’s eas’ly dismissed.
What Ever Happened To Sessions’ Recusal? (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 10th, 2017A serious, honest perusal
Of the pledge Sessions made of recusal
Shows him wrong to assist
Getting Comey dismissed.
Recusal required refusal.
Trump, The Nixonian (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2017Seems Donald was getting morose
Cuz Comey was getting too “close.”
So Trump’s crew took their cues
And concocted a ruse
To dismiss him. A Cover-up Gross!
Trump Exercises His Right Not To Exercise (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2017A headline like this one demands a limerick: “Donald Trump thinks exercise will kill you.”
Will exercise kill you? The guy
In the Oval believes it. That’s why
Donald looks like he looks.
(I’d been blaming his cooks.)
This explains why to VEEP Pence said “AYE!”
AWOL Trump? (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 9th, 2017According to CNN, Trump’s been out of sight for five straight days.
Dear Donald: You sick? We’re concerned
Cuz for five lengthy days you have spurned
All public events.
Are you feverish? Tense?
Simply taking a respite unearned?
A Dose Of Reality To Douse Trump’s Spirits (Limerick)
Saturday, May 6th, 2017Dear Donald, your pleasure and awe
Over Trumpcare are marred by a flaw
Eas’ly found with a mouse:
It takes more than one house
To convert your bill into a law.
Donald Disses Turnbull Again (2-Verse Limerick)
Thursday, May 4th, 2017It seems Donald isn’t done dissing Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Not only did he shorten (and push back by several hours) today’s meeting (which was meant to help repair their relationship.) But he did it for the most callow of reasons: An AHCA House passage victory dance.
Donald’s meeting with Trumball today
Was intended to make things okay
’Tween Australia and Trump,
Yet he opted to bump
Their confab for a callow display.
What took precedence over their meeting,
Postponing and short’ning their greeting?
A public hooray
That the AHCA
Passed the House … and some swagg’rin’ chest beating.
Trump’s Love Affair With Strongmen (Limerick)
Thursday, May 4th, 2017The Donald heaps praise upon strongmen;
Evil despots quite clearly the wrong men
To admire or laud.
Trump’s a terrified fraud;
Naught but one of those cowed “get along” men.
Only Bad People Get Sick? (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017According to Rep. Mo Brooks (R-AL), sick people don’t deserve affordable healthcare.
If you’re healthy, this means that you’re good.
Only bad folks get sick. Understood?
That’s the gospel of Mo;
Rep. Mo Brooks — what a schmo!
“Christian love” from the GOP hood.
Be Careful What You Wish For (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017As Republicans surely are learning
(Having finally sated their yearning
For one-party rule)
Running government’s cool…
But much harder than blocking and churning.
The Price Of Defiance (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 3rd, 2017The Donald keeps shattering norms;
Routine standards? He rarely conforms.
Though it got him the win,
His defiant thin skin
Breeds snafus, chaos, loss, and tweet storms.
Dear Media: Trump ISN’T A Populist, So Stop Calling Him One! (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017Does anyone else cringe when the media calls Trump a “populist?” I suggest these, instead: “purported populist,” “fake populist,” “alleged populist,” just-pretend populist,” or “faux populist.”
A “faux populist” con hurtled Trump
To the White House, the votes from each chump
Gained by promises made
That he’d come to their aid;
Bigly duped by a fraud on the stump.
The President Who Cried “Country Needs A Good ‘Shutdown'” (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 2nd, 2017What happens when your own party concludes you’re an untrustworthy negotiating partner? They make a deal with the Dems, and leave you out of the process.
That’s precisely what happened with the budget, and Trump’s been tweeting his unhappiness: “Our country needs a good ‘shutdown’ in September to fix mess.”
A government shutdown is needed,
Tweets Donald, who’s feeling defeated;
The untrustworthy heel
Was left out of the deal
By his party — reality heeded.
The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”
Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.
Will Trump Instigate a Government Shut-Down On Purpose? (Limerick)
Monday, April 24th, 2017As Disrupter-in-Chief, Trump’s an ace,
And he certainly seems right on pace
To delib’rately cause
A government pause;
A shut-down to placate his base.
For he promised his fans he’d make waves,
Shake things up and then topple the knaves
Who keep government going
And tax money flowing,
Enforcing each reg that enslaves.
But he finds himself deep in a pickle.
His accomplishments? Not worth a nickel
So he needs a big drama;
A gov-shut-down trauma —
Even gullible fans can be fickle.
