Headline: “Trump Pretends Pandemic Is Over”
Donald Trump and his cronies pretend
That COVID has come to an end.
But magical thinking
Solves nothing: No shrinking
Of death counts — infections ascend.
Archive for the ‘GOP Humor’ Category
Pandemic? WHAT Pandemic? (Limerick)
Friday, August 28th, 2020Trump-Logic (Limerick)
Friday, August 28th, 2020Blaming Biden for civil unrest
Falls afoul of ye old straight-face test.
Cuz the last time I checked
Trump was prez, and he’s wrecked
Our great nation. (So much for “Be Best.”)
Limerick Ode To The Liar-In-Chief
Tuesday, August 25th, 2020“Dems will steal the election,” says Trump —
A small part of his regular dump
Of bald fabrications
In Donald’s orations;
Our Liar-In-Chief on the stump.
The Trump Cult (Limerick)
Monday, August 24th, 2020“In lieu of a party platform, Republicans express ‘strong support’ of Trump.”
The GOP seems to exult
In becoming the Donald Trump Cult.
No platform this year —
Just a Donald Trump cheer;
Lots of toadies, but not one adult!
“Pious” Trump (Limerick)
Sunday, August 23rd, 2020Trump Tweet: “Happy Sunday! We want GOD!”
“Happy Sunday!” tweets Trump. “We want GOD!”
As a “GOD”-lover, Trump is a fraud.
Not an ounce of remorse!
And he’s golfing, of course.
(Hoping “GOD” will appear and applaud?)
If Susan B. Anthony Could Write Limericks
Tuesday, August 18th, 2020“President Donald Trump on Tuesday signed a pardon for women’s suffrage icon Susan B. Anthony, who was arrested in 1872 for casting a ballot when women could not vote.”
Dear Donald, your pardon’s rejected;
I despise pardonees you’ve protected!
Stop pretending to care
About gals, and don’t dare
Use my pardon to get reelected.
The Perennially “Concerned” Sen. Collins (Limerick)
Saturday, August 15th, 2020Headline: “Susan Collins Expresses ‘Concerns’ Over Delays In Mail Delivery”
Susan Collins — “concerned” once again;
She clucks like a malcontent hen,
As if truly upset
By misdeeds or a threat…
But follow-through votes? Not that Sen!
Trump’s Executive “Order” Scam (Limerick)
Monday, August 10th, 2020Washington Post Headline: “Here’s what is actually in Trump’s four executive orders
The details on payroll taxes, unemployment and evictions are not as generous as he made them sound.”
Dear Donald, how sneakily clever!
Will your “orders” help voters? No never!
But your base who’s unschooled
In the law may be fooled
By your “efforts” while pulling that lever.
Putin’s Mission Accomplished (Limerick)
Sunday, July 26th, 2020There’s a fellow who’s grinning right now
At our chaos, fear, poverty. Wow!
All his orders were heeded;
His Trump-scheme succeeded.
Putin’s earned his dystopian bow.
Job Guidance From Ivanka??? (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 15th, 2020“Ivanka Trump urged out-of-work Americans to “find something new” Tuesday as part of a new jobs initiative designed to tout the benefits of skills training and career paths that don’t require a college degree.”
Unemployed? You don’t know what to do?
Well Ivanka says “Find something new.”
What a genius she is;
A career guidance whiz!
“Trophy Daughter” has rescued us. Whew!
Rally Folly (Limerick)
Monday, June 22nd, 2020Dear Donald, you seem to be sad
Cuz that rally in Tulsa was BAD.
Your turnout was poor–
A shanda full-bore–
Just deserts for a self-dealing cad.
Trump’s “Pious” Edict (Limerick)
Friday, May 22nd, 2020Headline: “Trump slams governors, demands they open houses of worship ‘right now’”
“You must open the churches right now!”
Ordered Trump, as if Donald somehow
Had the right to enforce
Such an edict. Of course
To his base, Trump’s a great sacred cow.
Pusher-In-Chief (Limerick)
Wednesday, May 20th, 2020The Pusher-In-Chief says he’s taking
A dangerous drug. Is he faking?
Since he’s crazy enough
To swallow that stuff,
Shall we swallow the claim Donald’s making?
Trump Pens Another Limerick
Wednesday, May 6th, 2020“The Democrats want me to fail,
And they’re rooting for death to prevail.
Since election’s their goal,
They’d applaud a large hole
In our markets … plus vote-fraud by mail.”
Trump’s Rush To Reopen (Limerick)
Monday, May 4th, 2020Donald’s rush to reopen stokes dread
Cuz he’d risk causing many more dead.
Though he claims he’ll abide
By data as guide,
Trump’s metrics are hatched in his head.
Trump Shows How Much He Loves Workers (Limerick)
Wednesday, April 29th, 2020Those who work in a meat packing plant
Are risking their lives, yet there’s scant
White House will to protect them
From ills that infect them.
Trump shields owners. But workers? He shan’t!
Workaholic-In-Chief? (Limerick)
Monday, April 27th, 2020Headline: “White House officials say Trump works so hard, he often misses lunch”
Poor Donald has no time to munch!
It’s crunch time. He’s busy! No brunch!
He’s not watching TV.
No, not Trump — Busy Bee!
You believe this? Then YOU’RE OUT TO LUNCH!
Is That A Threat? Or A Promise? (Limerick)
Sunday, April 26th, 2020Donald “threatens” to cut down his time
At press briefings. That sounds sublime!
Fewer lies! Less confusion!
More facts! Less delusion!
Few boot-lickers! Who’s smiling? I’m!
Dr. Trump Strikes Again (Limerick)
Saturday, April 25th, 2020To those who still back Dr. Trump,
He apparently thinks you’re a chump,
Who will gladly imbibe
Any crap he’ll “prescribe,”
Be it poison or waste from his rump.
The Purge (Limerick)
Thursday, April 23rd, 2020The president’s loyalty purge
Continues apace. Any urge
To speak truth to Trump’s power
Makes Dower Don glower;
Facts that Trump doesn’t like SHAN’T emerge.
