The Donald has led us astray
In ev’ry conceivable way.
Is there any path out
From under this lout?
Twenty-twenty is TOO far away!
Archive for the ‘Republicans Humor’ Category
Astray (Limerick)
Saturday, February 23rd, 2019Sundry National Emergency Humor
Tuesday, February 19th, 2019Donald Trump breaches
separation of powers–
Republicans shrug.
*****
How To Lose A Case:
1. Declare national emergency.
2. Say “I didn’t need to do this,” as your lawyers tear their remaining hair out.
3. Stand by for courts to agree that you, indeed, “didn’t need to do this.”
*****
Unpersuadable,
Impervious to the facts–
That’s Donald Trump’s base.
*****
Today, Lindsey Graham defended Trump’s unconstitutional “national emergency” declaration:
“Let’s just say for a moment that he took some money out of the military construction budget,” Graham said. “I would say it’s better for the middle-school kids in Kentucky to have a secure border. We’ll get them the school they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.
What’s next for Lindsey Graham? Any day now, we just might be hearing this:
“Let’s just say for a moment that the President executed Nancy Pelosi, the person most responsible for blocking his wall.
“Yes, that would be unfortunate. But I would say it’s better for middle-school kids and all Americans to have a secure border. We’ll get them the new House Speaker they need. But right now we’ve got a national emergency on our hands.”
*****
DONALD TRUMP: “We will have a national emergency and we will then be sued and they will sue us in the 9th circuit, even though it shouldn’t be there…”
Hey Donald, if you don’t want cases to go to the 9th Circuit, stop screwing California.
*****
Trump’s Fake Emergency Power Grab (Limerick)
Friday, February 15th, 2019A fake crisis; Trump seizes more power,
As obsequious ass-kissers cower.
He raids Pentagon cash
And a FEMA funds stash,
And democracy dies by the hour.
The GOP Tax Scam (Limerick)
Monday, February 11th, 2019Headline: “Many Stunned to Get Smaller Tax Refunds”
As our warnings re tax cuts come true,
Donald’s base is beginning to rue
That tax plan they backed.
They were duped. It’s a fact;
Those “big refunds” are NOT coming through.
Trump v. Biden (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2019Trump to anchors, as quoted by the New York Times’ Peter Baker:
When I say something that you might think is a gaffe, it’s on purpose; it’s not a gaffe. When Biden says something dumb, it’s because he’s dumb.
When you think I am making a gaffe,
It’s on purpose to make people laugh.
But Biden is dumb,
Which explains much or some
Of the lame things he says — at least half.
What Donald Really Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2019Trump’s insistence on wall dough is late.
A sincere person never would wait
Till control of the House
Had been lost. Yes this louse
Is a stunt-monger. Don’t take the bait!
Don’t Bother Telling Trump Intel (Limerick)
Wednesday, February 6th, 2019The Donald says “Go back to school!”
To intel chiefs. Trump is a fool,
Who is sure he knows best
And hurls insults with zest,
Along with his drivel and drool.
Trump’s Bush League Staffers (Limerick)
Monday, January 21st, 2019Headline: “Christie Says Trump Hired ‘Riffraff’ for Key Posts”
No one wants to join Donald Trump’s staff,
Or work on the Donald’s behalf.
You’d have to be high
To deal with that guy,
So he’s down to the riff and the raff.
The Tease-In-Chief (Limerick)
Saturday, January 19th, 2019Headline: “Trump says he will make a ‘major’ announcement on Saturday about the border and government shutdown”
Dear Trump, that announcement you’re teasing
Is only of int’rest and pleasing,
If the gov isn’t closed
And you say you’re disposed
To resign. Failing that, halt your wheezing!
Trump Cancels Pelosi War Zone Trip … and the Speaker Responds (Limerick)
Thursday, January 17th, 2019Headline: “Trump denies Pelosi military aircraft for war zone trip”
Speaker Pelosi’s Limerick Response:
Rumor has it, dear Trump, you were scared
I’d be harmed. “Stop her trip!” you declared.
Using all of your might,
You cancelled my flight.
How sweet! I did NOT know you cared.
GOP Bigotry (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 16th, 2019Headline: ” Republicans, Racism and Steve King
So now the party abhors bigotry? How convenient.”
The GOP’s making a show
Of loathing King’s racism, though
His behavior’s not new.
Plus they’ve made no ado
About bigoted Trump. He must go!
Putin’s Puppet (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 16th, 2019Headline: “GOP blocks Senate rebuke of Trump on Russia sanctions”
Undoubtedly Putin is thrilled
By the mayhem he’s wrought; he’s fulfilled
His dream to install
Trump the Puppet, who’ll brawl
And defile, as democracy’s chilled.
If Nancy Pelosi Could Write Limericks
Wednesday, January 16th, 2019Dear Donald, I see that the state
Of our Union is closed, so the date
That you’re set to appear
In my House (nearly here)
Isn’t great. “Speak” in writing … or wait.
Here’s Nancy’s real letter to Trump.
Trump’s Fake Crisis Diversion (Limerick)
Saturday, January 12th, 2019Trump keeps tying our nation in knots,
And it’s time to connect all the dots:
He inflicts all this hurt
To distract and divert
Because Putin is calling the shots.
No Means No! (Limerick)
Saturday, January 12th, 2019Headline: “When Nancy Pelosi Says ‘No’”
When Pelosi says “no,” she means “NO!”
Trump will NOT get his wall-building dough.
Unlike Donald, she’ll walk
The walk and won’t balk.
Nancy’s toughness is true. Trump’s? Just SHOW!
Donald’s Just-Pretend Emergency (Limerick)
Friday, January 11th, 2019Trump’s attempting a blackmail-insurgency:
“I’ve the right to declare an emergency.
But I WON’T do it yet.
Right now it’s a threat!” …
Which proves that there’s really no urgency.
Limerick Ode To Our So-Called Deal-Maker
Friday, January 11th, 2019The self-described deal-maker fails
To close deals. Donald’s thwarted? He bails.
Nancy ties him in knots,
And whenever he spots
Her he’ll plotz, as his orange skin pales.
Trump Walled In By Wall Quote (Limerick)
Thursday, January 10th, 2019It’s hard not to laugh at this quote from Trump’s 2004 Wagner College commencement address, which inspired my limerick:
I’ll tell you, to me, the second-most important thing after love what you do is never, ever give up. Don’t give up. Don’t allow it to happen. If there’s a concrete wall in front of you, go through it. Go over it. Go around it. But get to the other side of that wall.
There’s a wall of concrete? Then go through it;
That’s the way that the Donald once drew it.
Are walls MEANT to be crossed?
Or built at great cost:
My conclusion is Donald Trump blew it.
Trump Storms Out Of His Own Meeting (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 9th, 2019Headline: “Trump storms out of meeting as shutdown careens toward fourth week”
The Donald stormed out of the meeting
Cuz his wall scheme was taking a beating.
The Speaker was “mean,”
So he vented his spleen
In a petulant act of retreating.
Border Wall Lies
Tuesday, January 8th, 2019The Donald is planning to go
On the air Tuesday night with a show
Of border wall lies
And emergency cries.
To the networks I plead: “Just Say No!”
