Posts Tagged ‘Chris O’Carroll’

Limerick of the Week (164)

Saturday, May 17th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A filcher of cookware did pick
An attorney exceedingly slick.
With no frippery, he’ll
Do a slippery deal
That will make all the charges non-stick.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Brian Allgar:

“Choose a card, any card, take your pick,”
Said the conjurer doing his trick.
So I pilfered his Visa,
The silly old geezer,
And vanished from sight double-quick.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred, Chris O’Carroll, Will T. Laughlin, Tim James, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

“It’s Robin,” said Miley, “I’ll pick
To perform with on stage in a shtick
Where I’m bending and twerking,
Symbolically jerking
Him off.” Yes, she laid it on Thicke.

Steve Whitred:

George Carlin performed and said pick
The appropriate place to say “prick.”
Go ahead, prick your finger,
But if you malinger
And finger your prick, you’re a hick.

Chris O’Carroll:

A woman was trying to pick
Which suitor to date. She mused, “Mick
Is well hung; so is Nick;
Whereas Brick’s smaller dick
Is offset by a bankroll that’s thick.”

Will T. Laughlin:

Today’s GOP tends to pick
Its facts from attacks that will stick.
Now history shows
They were picking their Knows
While the planet grew terribly sick.

Tim James:

It wasn’t too prudent to pick
Up a six-pack and knock it back quick.
But there’s no need to fear;
I don’t bet gunk from dreer.
So I’m sone stober, Ocifer (*hic*).

Konrad Schwoerke:

If it’s sex you crave, Leila’s my pick,
And the toys she employs are so slick.
Though she’s often engaged,
You can still have her paged.
That’s cuz Leila does not miss a trick.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick of the Week (162)

Sunday, May 4th, 2014

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A British lad, Jack, hunts for guys.
When he’s queried on this, he replies:
“I don’t know what it means.
I’m just drawn to their jeans.
Now they’re calling me ‘Lord of the Flies.’”

Congratulations to JANE SHELTON HOFFMAN and COLLEEN MURPHY, who tie in winning this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for their respective limericks which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

He loved his nights out with the guys,
But left early one night — a surprise.
His wife said, “Oh, dear,
Since you were not here,
I tried your best friend on for size.”

Colleen Murphy:

Deliliah kept dating these guys
Who stared at her breasts, not her eyes.
So she wore baggy shirts.
Then if guys were still flirts,
She’d award them the big booby prize.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kevin Ahern, Judith H. Block, Bob Dvorak, Tim James, Steve Whitred, Kathy El-Assal, and Chris O’Carroll. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Kevin Ahern:

The parents of wee girls and guys
Respond with a thousand replies.
Well, here’s a suggestion:
For every question
“Because” is a word to the “whys.”

Judith H. Block:

A woman was dating three guys.
Each one was a gem. What a prize!
One dazzled her mind,
One musically shined,
And one’s cock was a wonderous size!

Bob Dvorak:

A woman was dating three guys:
A doc; a tycoon; but the prize
Was a lama, undoing
The fun in the screwing.
But she’s healthier, wealthy, and wise.

Tim James:

Miss Uhura was dating three guys
And, when asked if she thought that was wise,
Said, “Why not? Kirk will bed
Any chick who’s not dead.
It’s the essence of free Enterprise!”

Steve Whitred:

A woman was dating three guys,
Thinking each would the other despise.
But she one day, it’s said,
Found all three in her bed,
Which was quite the ménage à surprise.

Kathy El-Assal:

Droll master of stealth and disguise,
Boris Badenov told lots of lies.
He’d dress like a pasha
Rush in with Natasha…
Deflecting attempts to diss spies.

Chris O’Carroll:

Said a gal who was dating three guys,
“In their own ways, they’re all sweetie-pies,
But my days and my nights
Need more spicy delights
Than any one lover supplies.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!