Limerick Break (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was taking a break…*

or

A woman at last caught a break…*

or

A fellow complained that his brake…*

or

A woman was trying to break…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Break
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An actress at last caught a break –
A theater lead; “gal on the make.”
But at “break a leg,” something
Went wrong — quite a bum thing:
Hers broke when she tripped on a snake.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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56 Responses to “Limerick Break (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Linkmeister says:

    a fella was taking a break
    seated on the bank of a lake
    when to his surprise
    there before his eyes
    appeared a humongously horrible snake

  2. Dionne says:

    A woman was trying to break
    The chub she could no longer take
    The clothes in her size
    Were no longer fives
    And this is something she was unable to fake

  3. Okay, this isn’t what you asked for, but here it is anyway. (Followed by one for the prompt. Thanks, Madelaine.

    It’s limerick time once again
    admitting it causes me pain
    I wrote them a lot
    but lately do not
    I blame it on snow and on rain

    * now for today’s *

    from travel I don’t get a break
    my husband will go ’til I ache
    up mountains, o’er downs,
    and through sleepy towns
    with hopes I’ll start staying awake.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    Count Dracula, taking a break
    At a restaurant, made a mistake.
    He thought that ‘filet’
    Was the dish of the day,
    But they gave him instead a big stake.

  5. rbasler says:

    A grad student needed a break
    From the poetry of William Blake
    “Can a ‘tyger’ burn bright?
    “WTF is this shite?
    “Why did spell-check not catch his mistake?”

  6. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was trying to break
    Perceptions that were a mistake.
    Sexy comes in all sizes,
    Petite’s full of surprises!
    I’m sexy and HOT, for God’s sake!

  7. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman at last caught a break
    From carb cravings that made her shake.
    She was indeed proud,
    Herself she had wowed!
    Resisting strawberry shortcake.

  8. John Sardo says:

    A woman at last caught a break
    After being many hours awake
    She took a quick nap
    On a lucky guy’s lap
    Who tried to partake till she said “go pound cake.”

  9. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was taking a break
    After swimming in a frozen lake
    He swam in the nude
    When a woman said “Dude,
    You can’t rock ‘n roll when you shake ‘n quake.”

  10. Mark Kane says:

    Dear hubby, please take a short break.
    Remember the deal: Give and Take?
    I’m sensing your need,
    But please don’t proceed,
    Until you are sure I’m awake.

  11. Chris O'Carroll says:

    A woman cheered, “I’ve caught a break!
    With this boyfriend there’s no need to fake.
    Meg Ryan’s faux O
    Was a classic, I know.
    But give me an authentic earthquake!”

  12. yt cai says:

    The Duck Dynasty case had a break
    When Parry Mason added his take
    He saw thru the ploy
    Of prosecution’s decoy
    When called to the stand was Paul Drake

  13. yt cai says:

    When the chef returned from a break
    His fish chowder started to quake
    As the pot boiled over
    He added fresh stover
    While yelling to all “what the hake”

  14. Chris O'Carroll says:

    A woman was hard-pressed to break
    Certain habits — coke, cock, chocolate cake.
    She said, “I can forego
    Both the bone and the blow,
    But baked goods are too good to forsake.”

  15. Tom Hale says:

    The actor could not get a break.
    “I’m broke and rent’s due, for Pete sake!”
    He pawned a projector,
    And mugged the director,
    Who said, “Okay, folks, that’s a take!”

  16. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Internal Affairs caught a break,
    Which, in fact, was a major mistake.
    The policemen weren’t dirty,
    Just overly flirty.
    They’d busted some cops on the make.

  17. Allen Wilcox says:

    A woman was trying to break
    A habit that made her heart ache.
    She slept when friends died.
    “I can’t help it” she cried.
    “It’s so hard to awake at a wake”

  18. Kirk Miller says:

    My wife said, “Will you give me a break?
    And from punning on snowstorms, please take
    A breather.” To me,
    It’s obvious she
    Must think that her husband’s a flake.

  19. Jannpoet says:

    A woman was trying to break
    A man’s smile that was clearly quite fake
    Don’t give me that line
    Your smile is so sach-a-rine
    That I’m sure you’re a man on the take

  20. Brian Allgar says:

    Said Moses, “Lord, gimme a break.
    How many more stones must I take?
    Your commandments are swell,
    But my back hurts like hell —”
    “THOU SHALT NOT COMPLAIN!” the Lord spake.

  21. Brian Allgar says:

    “I could use a sabbatical break”,
    Said the Prof. “I’m beginning to shake,
    For those students of mine
    Are a bunch of real swine,
    While my pearls are increasingly fake.”

  22. Val Fish says:

    A fellow was taking a break
    Bed another, a huge mistake
    Ross just kept repeating
    ‘It’s not really cheating,’
    To Rachel ‘We were on a break!’

  23. Val Fish says:

    A fellow was taking a break
    The snooker world title at stake
    It all went to pot
    With one missed shot
    The pressure was too much to take

  24. Diane Groothuis says:

    Louis 14 was taking a break
    With the lives of his subjects at stake
    With a shortage of food
    His wife said “Oh dude
    Aint no bread so you just give em cake”.

  25. BAC says:

    While Stella was taking a break
    From taking a swim in the lake
    From out of the water
    A sea monster caught her
    And ate her as if she were steak!

  26. Chris O'Carroll says:

    A woman was planning to break
    The rule about which fruit to take.
    “That off-limits tree
    Looks yummy to me,”
    She mused. “You go, girl!” said the snake.

  27. Brian Allgar says:

    In the Alps for a long skiing break,
    There were pills she’d forgotten to take.
    Said the rueful instructor
    Who’d constantly fucked her,
    “A baby slope’s easy to make.”

  28. Brian Allgar says:

    The woman omitted to brake
    In the fog when approaching the lake.
    What she thought was a bridge
    Was a rough grassy ridge,
    So her friends are now planning her wake.

  29. Brian Allgar says:

    While taking a gardening break,
    Young Eve was approached by a snake.
    “Ya lookin’ fer knowledge?
    Ya don’t need no college -
    This apple is all it’ll take.”

  30. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman was trying to break
    my spirit. Yes, she was a snake.
    But I held on tightly
    While suffering nightly.
    May I invite all of you to her wake?

  31. Charlene Karedes says:

    A woman was trying to break
    The dry spell that made her loins ache.
    A man she would dine
    Then offer him wine
    With hopes of sweet love they would make.

  32. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A fellow was trying to break
    A habit he got on a break
    T’was eating a stake
    With icecream and flake
    Then jump in a cold freezing lake.

  33. Mark Kane says:

    When parking remember your brake.
    It’s there for security’s sake.
    When you’re on a steep hill,
    You don’t need the thrill,
    Of joining your car in the lake.

  34. Allen Wilcox says:

    A chef on an overlong break
    Smelled smoke and cried out “For Pete’s sake,
    Please turn off the heat,
    And save me my meat.
    I’ve made a most tragic misteak.”

  35. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    A cycler who had put on the brake
    To balisticly end in a cake
    With his feet in the air
    And the bride in despair
    The groom made a hot ‘Utube’ take.

  36. Amrit Sinha says:

    A fellow was taking a break
    Out fishing at the nearby lake
    “Look he is there,
    Let’s pull him down here”
    And he soon became the fish’s cake.

  37. Zelick Mendelovich says:

    Amended

    A cycler suddenly put on the brake
    To balisticly end in a cake
    With his feet in the air
    And the bride in despair
    The groom made a hot ‘Utube’ take.

  38. Kirk Miller says:

    Local judge made a pledge he won’t break
    About eating; his vow’s not opaque.
    During dinner, it’s shown
    He won’t answer the phone.
    And the reason? His honor’s at steak.

  39. Brian Allgar says:

    The band thought they’d got their big break
    When they played in Dubai by the lake.
    Their song was quite slick,
    But the name didn’t click;
    They had called it “Roll, Rattle and Sheikh.”

  40. Val Fish says:

    A girl was enjoying her break
    With a Cadbury’s Chocolate flake
    She sucked and licked
    Her thoughts phallic,
    Then came with a quiver and quake

  41. P Diane Schneider says:

    A woman at last caught a break
    After suffering from a heartache
    She won a world cruise
    Supplying free booze
    And had to forget the old flake

  42. P Diane Schneider says:

    I did manage to set my brake
    And jot down a verse for Mad’s sake
    But I musn’t tarry
    Cause I’m on the ferry
    Don’t ask me to jump in the lake

  43. Charley Simmons says:

    When a girl from her boyfriend did break
    He became impossible to shake.
    With his whimpering and crying,
    Even stalking and spying.
    So she pitched him out into the lake.

  44. Charley Simmons says:

    The band took a well deserved break .
    When playing for hours at a wake
    After they peed
    They broke out the weed
    And joined the girls on the make.

  45. Charley Simmons says:

    Old Adam received a bad break
    When Eve took the fruit from the snake
    As they went out the door
    He called her a whore
    But, made up that night for our sake.

  46. Diane Groothuis says:

    An explorer just taking a break
    From a round-the-world trip he did make
    Said “Those Pirates from Spain
    Are at it again
    I’m neither a duck nor a Drake”

  47. OVERHEARD IN CONGRESS

    I really should go on my break.
    It’s a break I’m entitled to take.
    But to take it, I know,
    Needs some “get up and go”,
    And I’d much rather not be awake.

  48. The plan? Get a stripper to break
    Through the icing, and jump from the cake.
    But we blew it, I fear.
    So remember: next year,
    Put the woman in AFTER we bake.

  49. Tim James says:

    A bottle blonde just couldn’t break
    Her compulsion to go on the make.
    The old rich guys she’d bed
    Had their egos well fed
    ‘Cause her hair wasn’t all that she’d fake.

  50. Allen Wilcox says:

    A reformed wise old burglar named Jake
    Had amends that he wanted to make.
    He returned all his loot,
    And observed, “What a hoot!
    It’s far better to give than to take.”

  51. viv blake says:

    A fellow was taking a break
    from being a Kuwaiti sheikh.
    He decided to stay
    away one more day
    but was topped for being a fake.

  52. Mark Kane says:

    After a guy is stopped for speeding:

    Please officer give us a break,
    It’s all for my pregnant wife’s sake.
    In minutes she’ll drop,
    So be a kind cop
    And lead us, we’ll follow your wake.

  53. Unreported Breaking News

    We are sad to report a bad break
    For that man who attempted to slake
    (Homegrown hardware was used—
    He wound up quite abused!)
    Carnal needs of bereft trouser snake.

    He is sure that his efforts to make
    Satisfact’ry relations (not fake)
    Between his and her hearts
    Come undone when she starts
    Working from her agenda opaque.

    Of course, everyone thinks *he’s* the rake—
    That he simply cats ‘round— on the make.
    But the truth (undersold!)
    Goes way back (it’s quite old!):
    Making love with most women— Mistake!

    Yet the fact still remains that his ache
    Comes from what will be life-alt’ring break
    In his deep fascia veins—
    That poor structure remains
    Like an old ‘Swamp Thing’ movie remake.

  54. Brian Allgar says:

    Lord Tennyson, taking a break
    For a swim in the unruffled lake,
    Was suddenly hobbled;
    His leg had been gobbled -
    The Kraken was fully awake!

  55. Brian Allgar says:

    I was driving too fast, had to brake
    Rather suddenly – painful mistake,
    For my girl, giving head
    As I drove, choked and said
    “I think I just swallowed a snake.”

  56. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 163.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Pick.