Limerick of the Week (164)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to KONRAD SCHWOERKE, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A filcher of cookware did pick
An attorney exceedingly slick.
With no frippery, he’ll
Do a slippery deal
That will make all the charges non-stick.

Congratulations to BRIAN ALLGAR, who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

Brian Allgar:

“Choose a card, any card, take your pick,”
Said the conjurer doing his trick.
So I pilfered his Visa,
The silly old geezer,
And vanished from sight double-quick.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Chris Doyle, Steve Whitred, Chris O’Carroll, Will T. Laughlin, Tim James, and Konrad Schwoerke. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Chris Doyle:

“It’s Robin,” said Miley, “I’ll pick
To perform with on stage in a shtick
Where I’m bending and twerking,
Symbolically jerking
Him off.” Yes, she laid it on Thicke.

Steve Whitred:

George Carlin performed and said pick
The appropriate place to say “prick.”
Go ahead, prick your finger,
But if you malinger
And finger your prick, you’re a hick.

Chris O’Carroll:

A woman was trying to pick
Which suitor to date. She mused, “Mick
Is well hung; so is Nick;
Whereas Brick’s smaller dick
Is offset by a bankroll that’s thick.”

Will T. Laughlin:

Today’s GOP tends to pick
Its facts from attacks that will stick.
Now history shows
They were picking their Knows
While the planet grew terribly sick.

Tim James:

It wasn’t too prudent to pick
Up a six-pack and knock it back quick.
But there’s no need to fear;
I don’t bet gunk from dreer.
So I’m sone stober, Ocifer (*hic*).

Konrad Schwoerke:

If it’s sex you crave, Leila’s my pick,
And the toys she employs are so slick.
Though she’s often engaged,
You can still have her paged.
That’s cuz Leila does not miss a trick.

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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4 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (164)”

  1. Jane Hoffman says:

    Congrats to all the winning picks!!!!!!

  2. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Thank you, Mad, this is getting embarrassing. Congrats to all!

    A special thanks to Chris Doyle for all he’s taught me since that first encounter of the horrendous kind at OEDILF.

  3. madkane says:

    You’re very welcome, Konrad. Well deserved! And yes, Chris Doyle has been, and continues to be, an inspiration and a teacher for countless limerick writers.

  4. z. alexi says:

    “Prick your finger or finger your prick”~~how uproarious is zat, Steve Whitred? Bloodsuckers at MD’s office sometimes double-prick us [no vein but the inepts stick us w/needle anyway] so will fwd ’em your foxy rhyme.

    Will T. Laughlin’s “picking his Knows”~~gut-busting! Esp since last nite’s [Boston] TNT Party elections [5/20/14]. The Teabaggers blew themselves up in most of yesterday’s primaries. . .may these haters stay buried. Post-haste, must ferret out some GOPers to “stick” this sharp limerick to/into.