Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

It’s not easy to make Rudy Giuliani look like a class act. But both McCain and Palin have managed to do it quite handily.   While Rudy (on at least one occasion) had the decency to chide an audience member for connecting Democrats with terrorists, McCain and Palin apparently feel no such compunction. Why do I say that? Because they greet   anti-Obama audience-shouts like “Treason,”  “Terrorist!” and “Kill!” with silence.

McCain And Palin Make Rudy Look Like A Class Act
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John McCain, I sure hope that you’re proud:
You and Palin prompt rage in a crowd.
Your supporters shout swill:
“Treason!”  “Terrorist!” “Kill!”
Even Rudy would say: Not allowed!

Ode To Attack Dog Palin

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Ode To Attack Dog Palin (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Palin proudly proclaims “I don’t blink!”
(Doesn’t count when it’s merely a wink.)
She attacks with a smile,
Throwing lies cross the aisle —
Slimes Barack as a terrorist fink.

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test

Tuesday, October 7th, 2008

Sarah Palin Passes Her Reading Test
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To those who say Palin was best,
I’ll concede she debated with zest.
But she read off her notes
All night long, so your votes
Are based on an open book test.

Finally, A John McCain Statement I Can Agree With

Monday, October 6th, 2008

At first, I was amused by John McCain’s bitter-sounding “life isn’t fair” remark.

Asked why Obama has been rising as the Wall Street crisis has dominated attention, McCain said with a chuckle on Fox News Channel: “Because life isn’t fair.”

But on second thought, I’ve decided McCain is right:

Finally, A McCain Statement I  Can Agree With
By Madeleine Begun Kane

McCain’s very wrong about war
And on health care and taxes and more.
But he’s right (though it’s rare)
With his “life isn’t fair,”
Cuz what else could explain Bush v. Gore?

A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?

Thursday, October 2nd, 2008

According to Fred Thompson, Sarah Palin’s inability to name a single Supreme Court case she disagrees with wasn’t her fault.  Why not?  Because Katie Couric didn’t give her a list of cases.    I half-expected Thompson to demand  a do-over test.

A Do-Over Supreme Court Test For Palin?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re excused, dear Ms. Palin. Rejoice!
Now that Thompson has lent you his voice,
The court case-test you flunked
Has been strongly debunked
As unfair — wasn’t  multiple choice.

Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah

Wednesday, October 1st, 2008

Sarah Palin, who likes to refer to herself as “Joe Six Pack“, is trying to dupe us into believing she’s “an everyday, working-class American.” Palin even claims that her “Joe Six Pack” status is why “the Washington elite” don’t think she should be running for Veep.  (Apparently it has nothing to do with her making Dan Quayle look like a genius and George Bush look coherent.)

Just wondering: How many “everyday, working-class Americans” do you know who own “a single-engine plane, two boats, two personal watercraft and a half-million-dollar, custom-built home on a lake…”? 

Sarah deserves another limerick, don’t you think?

Dear “Everyday Working Class” Sarah
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your custom-built lake house sounds nice,
And your plane,  boats, and tanning device.
But kindly don’t claim
You’re a “working class” dame.
We don’t buy it, so sorry, no dice.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes?

Wednesday, September 24th, 2008

John McCain is so scared to debate Obama, that he’s reneged on his Friday debate commitment all in the name of patriotism.   Yup — the guy who almost never shows up for Senate votes,  is apparently planning to swoop into Washington, fix our fiscal crisis and, only then, resume campaigning and debate.  After all,  John McCain is such a “country first” kinda guy.

The good news is that Obama isn’t falling for the canceled debate bait.

Did The Dog Eat John McCain’s Debate Notes? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

This Friday’s debate won’t proceed,
Says McCain, while pretending to lead.
We’ve a crisis at hand.
Country first — his demand.
Be a patriot, John, and concede.

Dear Ralph: Go Away!

Monday, February 25th, 2008

I used to think Ralph Nader keeps running for president because he’s an egomaniac and a blowhard.  But I’m starting to suspect that he suffers from Dubya-disease — he needs to feel relevant. 

And now it’s time for a limerick:

Dear Ralph: Go Away!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Ralph Nader has surfaced again
To proclaim he’s a prince among men
And our nation’s salvation.
Give up your fixation,
Ralph. Find a new hobby. Try zen.

For more Ralph Nader humor, check out Ralph Nader, ‘Unsafe At Any Age,’ by Don Davis and Nader Announces Plan To Wreck Election, But Prominent Crackpots Are Cool To Bid, by Andy Borowitz. And for a serious take on the topic, there’s Ralph Nader, Tragedy And Farce, by Dick Polman.

Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Song Parody)

Thursday, November 2nd, 2006

Chalk it up to pre-election delirium, but I just wrote a Bush-Cheney song parody to Winter Wonderland, without realizing that I used the same tune back in 2004 for a pre-election song parody.  Fortunately, a bad memory does have some benefits, so the lyrics are quite different. Here’s my new one:

Bush and Cheney’s Blunderland (Sing to Winter Wonderland)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rummy’s great, and he’s staying.
No debate. Stop your braying.
“Fantastic” at war!
Bush Rummy adores.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

War is hard, but we’re winning.
GOP, lies and spinning.
Our war in Iraq
Is really on track.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

Bush and Rove are great at building straw men.
Then they proudly knock their straw men down.
Dub implies we’re traitors.
We’ll say, “No Man!”
It’s time to stop pretending you’ve been crowned.

Ev’ry day, they conspire.
Reckless knaves, thieves, and liars.
The Bush/Cheney reign,
Democracy’s bane.
Welcome to Bush/Cheney’s Blunderland.

           =========

And now some links, for your reading pleasure:
* The Worst Political Websites.
* I like Avedon when she’s in a snit.
* Don Davis’s Kerry: How Do You Ask Me To ‘Die’ For My Last Mistake?
* OneGoodMove has the New York Times’ latest editorial, and it’s a great one.
* Gary Trudeau Profile. (Via Alternative Hippopotamus)
* No Bush profiteering op left behind.
* Carnival Time: Carnival of Satire and Carnival of the Vanities.
* I sure hope journalists everywhere read this column and heed its counsel.
* Eric Schwartz sings his Clinton Got A Blowjob.